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I looked at the beautiful sea in front of me and took a deep sigh. This is going to be my last time to ever see this wonderful scenario. This is going to be the end of me, the end of all my sins, the end of everything…I took a step forward and climbed over the first metal rail of the bridge. The wind was softly slapping my face as the tears went on flowing. Then a soft little hand held my shoulder and said, “Don’t do it!”
I turned around in surprise and in front of me was a little girl. She looked so messy and in rags. I looked at her deep brown eyes which seemed so happy and content. Without a word, I turned back to the ocean ahead of me but the hand firmly pulled me aside.
Looking into my eyes, she said: “what could be the worst that could have happened?”
“You won’t understand little girl. Please let me do this peacefully.”
The little girl didn’t let me go and insisted to hear my answer.
“I have done a lot of sins and God will never forgive me…now, will you please let me go?”
“Allah (SW) says: “Say: “O ‘Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (az-zumar: 53)
“But my mother died because of me…I am to blame. She passed away after getting the news that I’m pregnant.”
“Allah (SW) says: “Everyone is going to taste death, and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good, and to Us you will be returned.” (an-biya’a: 35)My mother died while giving birth to me, should I take the blame?”
I looked at her in more surprise.
“I regret all that happened and I want to repent but I don’t know where to start from. Will God ever forgive me?”
“Allah (SW) says: “…Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).” (al-imran: 159)
“But I am so lonely, with no one at all.”
Allah (SW) says “ And indeed We have created man, and We know what his ownself whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein (by Our Knowledge).” (qaf: 16) I have been in the streets but I have never felt lonely because I know Allah is with me.”“Right now I am so restless and confused.”
“Allah (SW) says: “…Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest” (ar-rad: 28)“But I don’t know what to do anymore!”
“Allah (SW) says: “ And your Lord said: “Invoke Me, [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism)] (and ask Me for anything) I will respond to your (invocation)…” (ghafir: 60) and He also said: “Therefore remember Me (by praying, glorifying, etc.). I will remember you…” (baqarah: 152)
“Where will I live now? How? With what money? can you answer me that?”
“Allah (SW) says: “…And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).” (At-talaq: 2) I’ve been in the streets and I’ve never slept hungry.”
I was so touched by the girl’s words then I asked her,
“Where did you learn all this while you are in the streets?”
“From my father before he died too.”
I stood quietly for a moment. What had I done throughout my 18 years? I had all the love from my parents but I never appreciated it. I had all the wealth to help street children like these but I never did. I had all the chances to acquire such knowledge of my Lord but I never bothered and now, I have to hear it from a little girl like this, what a shame!”
The girl suddenly interrupted my thoughts,
“Go find your life, surely Allah (SW) has written a share of the world for you…and never forget, Allah (SW) says: “And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; – and none can forgive sins but Allah – And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know.” (Al-imran: 135) Repent, pray, love, share and you’ll have all the happiness you need; just like me.” The little girl left without any other word and I just realized, there was a lot of good I could do to myself than committing suicide. I turned away from the ocean and looked ahead of me- God loves me and I know He will forgive me, guide me and grant me my needs with His will…
