Lubnah Abdulhalim

Coast & Culture

RESULTS CELEBRATIONS; THE KHALIFAN WAY

By Lubnah Abdulhalim March 4, 2016

Video Courtesy: Hannan Barre

Special Dedication: Class of ‘011, 4Vee

Checking out this video, I smell nostalgia, can you feel it too? Khalifans’ style of celebrating has always been entertaining, thrilling, amusing yet still amazing! In fact the earlier years’ celebrations were even merrier. It used to be just a crazy scenario; girls shouting at the top of their voices, jumping up and down, singing all kind of songs including nursery rhymes like ‘ukuti ukuti wa mnazi wa mnazi’, ‘masomo bila mahewa haidandii bila mahewa’, ‘wako wapi mahasidi waione khalifa kiboko yao’ and some other song going like ‘santiago chile’ that I can no longer even remember, amongst other crazy songs being sang at the top of their voices 😀 But I must say; I definitely used to enjoy every moment of it especially being more of the observer. It always got me all emotional; finding my way through the crowd to hug the friends who performed.

It’s both hilarious and exciting even remembering all this now. Like in form one, our class was the one with windows directly facing the gate and the fish pond. As the candidates who had received their results were storming in the next class (which was form four V) were now all screams and dances. Being new, we didn’t understand what was going on until the other classes came out including the boys too. Mr Yunus (for the old Khalifans, you know him) was in class then and he was teaching us how to read the log books. Apparently we needed to be so attentive to understand that but we were all so curious; looking out of the windows and getting excited to join the chaotic celebrations. It was not his best day because with our agitation, we made him almost throw a chair at us. To make it worse, a form four girl fell into the huge dustbin right outside our class in the process of jumping. We were all laughing and it being a math class, of course we’d do anything to go out. And yes, we did succeed in that and poor, humble Mr Yunus had to leave the class 😀 And that is how we were introduced to the Khalifan jovial style of celebrating…yet amusingly, during all this chaos, the smart and bright students used to stay in class with the claim, ‘we don’t want to waste time’ lool. However when the noise used to escalate they’d come out and peep ‘what’s going on?’. But let’s get real, how does anyone read let alone write notes in such excitement? Not unless you are in form four…where that fear creeps in, ‘I could be out there screaming like the rest but what happens next year when I don’t perform and people will only remember me as a cheerleader and not a performer?’
Then comes the resolution, ‘Let me make use of this time now so that next year, they can also celebrate my performance too’ which is quite okay 😀 Other than that, I hope the bookworms have learnt that all work without play makes Jack a dull boy 😀

I remember another incident, a time like this during the results season, we were in our Chemistry class and our teacher was busy scribbling moles on the board when the noise started from other classes and we knew; it’s time for celebration! We always knew the noise symbolized yet another victory and as they say, ‘it’s party time!’ So whenever the noise escalated outside, we would all start making choruses of ‘siiirrrrr…let us gooo!’ If someone heard us, they would think our adrenaline was being poked. The rhythmic rise and fall of the noise always went on for a while; when the cheers escalated we would thump on the desks like crazy gorillas demanding for food and when it subsided we would keep quiet too. If you are from Sheikh Khalifa then you probably know Mr Ngao, and the glare he can give you. Whenever our voices went up, he would turn from the board and glare at us with his head lowered and his eyes raised, We would immediately shush up and continue scribbling our notes. When he realized we were getting out of control, he once again turned from the board, smiled in a way to show he has surrendered and finally, walked out of the class. It was times like these that you’d just stare and say ‘oh boy, people do have energy I tell you!’

The boys too wouldn’t be left behind. They would demand to go out of the gates while some would decide not to wait for the gates to be opened and just jump over. Meanwhile other boys would push their friends in the fish pond and apparently this is the only day you can do that and not be punished for it; the only day all hell breaks loose and students get away with it 😀 Everyone would scramble into the buses as each individual wanted to be part of the screaming and singing of ‘paka shume huyooo’ to Allidina and Aga Khan students on the roads lol.

Looking back at all these memories I really miss those days especially coming from a class that had quite extraordinary cheerleaders. And then even as I was watching all this happening I kept saying to myself, ‘why not?’ Our efforts and our duas, Our dedication and hard work does deserve all this joy and merry. Why not show the world how Muslim brains can work? How lady jilbabies are not any less intelligent to challenge the world? How being principled and disciplined is the only way to success? And this is what my high school has proved to the world since time immemorial; this is precisely why I am proud being a product of such an institution. And yes! yesterday, we did it once again! Alhamdulilah we had the best results ever from Sheikh Khalifa with:

A 27
A- 85
B+ 38
B 18
B- 8
C+ 2
C 1

Once again we have been able to outshine others alhamdulilah and all we can say to all our haters out there who are dying to know what our secret has always been, then here it is: ‘Allah is always with us,’ and that it is this firm faith in Allah that makes us at the top of the map always.

Congratulations to all those who got their results yesterday and hey, welcome to the adult world! May God easen it for you out there and get you to your goals in shaa Allah 🙂

Finally, I guess you came up with the same conclusion as mine: We are definitely the best, not only in results, in celebrating too!! 😀

#Proudly Khalifan 🙂

P.S. If you like my art then please vote for me at blogawards.co.ke/vote at creative writing category..and don’t forget to ‘submit’at the end of the page please ?
Thanks in advance ?

Deen (Religion)

HIJABAES <3

By Lubnah Abdulhalim March 3, 2016

Photo Courtesy: Arafat Abdulrehman

If I told you the ladies above are Christians would you believe me? Do they look anything close to ‘oppressed’ or ‘denied their freedom’? Do they look unhappy or even near discomfort?? You’ve got the answer! 🙂

On Monday the 29th of February, the Muslim union of MTTI university (Mombasa Technical Training Institute) held an amazing project that involved calling non Muslims to come try out the Hijab and give their opinion of it. Mashallah around 17 ladies appeared and they seemed excited in the hijab. The project manager; Rayhan Suleiman in co-ordination with the chairman; Ahmed Abubakar, Photographer; Arafat Abdulrehman and several other Muslims appeared at the event to offer support and to tie the non Muslims the hijabs.

Don’t ask me the level of excitement. It’s all in their faces and their comments were just beautiful:

“I believe that Muslim ladies are really disciplined for most of them have beautiful hair yet they decide to wear it and cover themselves…and that, really requires discipline.”

“I really feel comfortable in the hijab and i feel beautiful”

“The hijab is a cover that Muslim ladies cover their hair with and they look decent in it which is why I admire it.”

“I feel comfy in the hijab”

“I want to take this hijab with me, is it possible??”

“The hijab makes me feel fully covered.”

“The hijab is usually worn by Muslims to show their dignity.”

If you heard all the comments then you’d really want to hug each one of them and tell them, “Sweetheart, THIS, is Islam!” All the Christians left with the hijabs and they left the Muslims with nothing than the big smiles for a job well done.

Who said to do daa’wah you have to a scholar in deen? All you have to own is the Islamic identity and have a soul that can attract others to Islam.

Mashallah for the nice performance by the Muslim Union of MTTI especially this being their very first Islamic project! May Allah bless all those who took their time and energy to be present and offer support. As for these pretty hijabaes over here, may Allah guide you to Islam and may you discover the real beauty of being in hijab. Ameen!

Deen (Religion)

WHICH OF YOUR LORD’S FAVOURS WILL YOU DENY??

By Lubnah Abdulhalim February 27, 2016

Photo Courtesy: Unknown

While some people are born in the luxury of a rich family someone else is born in the streets.
While some people are lucky enough to have been breastfed by their mothers, some don’t know their mothers’ names. While some people are born to a fancy life of bread, cheese and butter, some are born with Kwashiorkor and Marasmus.
While some are born to immediately learn the world of internet, cartoons and play station, some are born to learn the world of drought, hunger and poverty.
While some people’s biggest problem is not knowing what latest car model they should buy, some people can’t even define in words which is their biggest problem.

We tend to take so many things in our lives for granted; like how much Allah has blessed us. Not just blessed us but REALLY blessed us. We complain and whine over the small tests sent to us yet we forget about the people less advantaged than us. However hard your battle is, do know there are millions of people facing harder problems than you are. Keep reminding yourself of the people in Syria, Palestine, Iraq, Yemen; people who have never seen fireworks in their lives except the fire from bombs and grenades. Remind yourself of people in drought areas, people living in what they call a ‘house’ yet all rain pours in. Remind yourself of the homeless and the ones fighting for their lives in hospitals.

Indeed we are ungrateful beings SubhanaLlah. Who are we to even think about complaining let alone speak it out? We keep denying God’s favours and once we succeed, we walk tall forgetting by whose grace we are where we are. We forget where we came from; where we started. We forget to help those more unfortunate than we are; we forget that this world is nothing but a number of days. We forget that Allah never charged us for His air, for our hearing or our sight.

While you get really annoyed because you couldn’t get the dinner you wanted, or your payment is late do remember that many wish they could have anything to eat or even money to wait for. Do know you ARE indeed lucky; luckier than those who consider themselves lucky. And ironically, the people suffering mostly are the ones appreciating the smallest of things in their lives; treasuring the fact that they are alive, that they have their limbs or that they have their parents with them. Because for them, they very well understand that this is a test from Allah and that they will be paid for their patience. They remain strong and have faith in Allah and all their tongues utter is ‘alhamdulilah ala kul hal’. While those of us with greater blessings, we forget everything at the smallest test we get into.

May Allah guide us and grant us patient hearts and souls that help others more and more. May He easen all our troubles and for all mankind who are going through more difficult times than we are.

Parting shot: Which of your Lord’s favours will you deny??

Creative Non-Fiction

HEROISM VS NARCISSISM

By Lubnah Abdulhalim February 26, 2016

Photo Courtesy: Mc’Lopez

In a world where everyone believes they are a star, a legend and a hero, be rational enough to yourself. Accept yourself as you are; without exaggerating your own existence. Yes, you ARE special. Always remember that…but never forget that you are not any more special than anyone else. Don’t raise your nose and walk with arrogance, believing you are thee best; like no one is better than you.

Taking a hundred selfies, getting 200 or 1000 likes, having the most followers on snapchat and instagram does not define your self worth. Neither do these photos portray self love.

You only become a legend by creating a difference, by leaving footsteps in other people’s lives; by being yourself. Do not be a slave of society love and fame because if that’s what matters to you, do know your time of fame is quickly running out and someone else will soon be ‘thee new star’. For all that I’ve ever known, no star ever labeled themselves that name. They were recognized for their impact and their achievements and not by their show off. So don’t get ahead of yourself. If you believe you are a genius, then do know you are not the first one to exist nor will you be the last. The same thing with anything else that you are good at; be it sports, talent, academics…you name it!

Many people confuse egocentrism and narcissism as self love. And as much as the current world encourages people to love themselves, the whole idea of it shouldn’t get to your head. There lived so many legends who were not appreciated until their death while there lived people with immoral ideas yet they have been made our idols.

Times are quickly changing and most of us have been enchanted by what we see on social media; people sharing their naked photos, egoistic posts and underrating of everyone else in the name of self love. And sadly enough, we are made to believe that it is very okay to be narcissistic and to consider everyone below us. So whilst the villain also considers himself a hero in his own mind, be brave enough to balance your self esteem and self love without letting your ego take over your thoughts.

My idea of heroism has always been the same as what Ellen Goodman said: “I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference.”

Always remember that what you do; the smallest bits of kindness and humbleness that you give to the world is what makes you rather extra-ordinary. So even when the whole world thinks you are a nobody, do know that for someone out there, you are their biggest hope and their light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ll end this by this remarkable quote that very clearly draws the picture and summarizes this whole article in a few words:
“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” – Arthur Ashe

Keep leaving footsteps wherever you go!

Creative Non-Fiction

TWO INCHES OF AN EGO

By Lubnah Abdulhalim February 22, 2016

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

Standing tall
A bold soul
he makes the fake call
and talks the random talk.
Head held high
his nose pointing to the sky
his face sparks with sarcasm
and his laughter;
another word for enthusiasm.
He walks with a bounce
his hands in his pockets
and his hair combed in spikes
He waits for no man
speaks with great command
and he only, can make the demand.
Is he egocentric
or perhaps a bit too eccentric??
He smiles with a smirk
and his tone is always a remark.
He is just an intense mystery
making a profound history.
An obscure being
or perhaps,,
just perhaps…
all he’s got is
Two inches of an ego.

Coast & Culture

PROUDLY KHALIFAN

By Lubnah Abdulhalim February 19, 2016

Photo Courtesy: Lalbiby Mansoor

Anyone who hears me talk about my high school; Sheikh Khalifa, one would think that I never had a single difficulty in the school and thus the high level of loyalty. Ironically, I had my share of high school teen drama; doing punishments such as slashing, washing the loos, being caned, kneeling down in front of the staff room and even had my one trip to Mrs. Feiruz’s office (the then deputy principal) which was then considered a dreadful thing especially when you were not paying her a rather pleasant visit. Okay okay, I know how this statement is too shocking but most of the times it was collective punishments for the whole class. Apparently I am lucky I never had to kneel down at the fish pond when my mates were asked to do so. Yet thinking about Sheikh Khalifa and my experiences in university, I honestly consider high school as heaven. It is the place I wouldn’t mind going back to and starting form one all over again but please without the math and the sciences hahaha. It is the place I consider highest for spiritual and personal growth. Anyway, those remain to be memories never to be forgotten for I was able to grow and learn from my mistakes, experiences and friendships. Now back to me being the Khalifan paparazzi that I’ve always been and to the main aim of this article.

So finally, the awaited library of the school plus the labs are ready for use. For the ex-students, this can be really thrilling yet envy-provoking news. I mean, remember how we had to squeeze up in the labs and sometimes, the very wet labs to do practicals? What about the small and cute library that we had whereby sometimes you walk in and you find an entire class inside and your appetite to read just disappears immediately? Oh yeah? Well right now when you pay a visit to the school you would wish to sleep inside the big and spacious library. As for the labs, they seem so appealing that right now the students are going to the place even after class hours including the form ones and I wonder what do they even go do there?! I bet as from this year, we will have many more students taking full sciences due to the awesome labs. In fact just before the event started, we made a tour to one of the labs where form ones were having a biology class with Mrs Twaliba and we were able to capture them as the class went on. They seemed pretty much happy about the labs too. I don’t know if I saw it right, but later on perusing through the pics with the one and only Amina Khamis, there looked something like a kikoto on the desk lol; Mrs Twaliba making sure the A’s come down like rain? I guess so!

Yesterday, 18/2/16, was the official opening of the two architectural masterpieces; the biggest library in Mombasa and one of the biggest in Kenya as well and the science labs that look just too magnificent. The two buildings have hanging walls and without forgetting that the labs have an alternate circulation of air which makes it an awesome ventilation for the classes. Over 140 million was used for this huge project and part of it, 2.5 million was donated by the C.E.O of National bank Mr. Munir Ahmed for the lab apparatus. The labs are now 8; 4 are the new ones. As for the library, the rooms will be 12 for both boys and girls. But that’s not the climax of the story yet. The climax is that the library is going to have an audio visual room with an interactive smart board for presentations. There will also be 24 new computers with internet for the student to research on but there will be restrictions on which sites the students will visit. Who else is biting their finger right now wishing they could still be at SK?! Mashallah for this great blessing and hopefully we keep seeing greater changes in the school in shaa Allah.

The official opening event took place at the fish pond area whereby two representatives of Sheikh Khalifa foundation attended. The guest of honour was Sultan Al-Khafaily and his mate was Ahmed Khoury together with other guests including Board of Trustees members including Mr Rajab Sumba and Board of Governors including Mr Sayyid Hemed. From the visitors was also Mr Mohammad Islam of Maize Millers among’st others. The occasion began with the wonderful recitation of the Qur’an thereafter followed by the scouts. I couldn’t help but hear my friend who joined me into the event, Lalbiby Mansoor, as she slowly whispered the Khalifan anthem along the scouts. I joined too and it felt such a patriotic moment, proudly Khalifan right?! The hilarious moment was when the scout leader was commanding his mates and he was using words like ‘nyamalato nyamalato’ lol I hear that is Zulu language? Then came the wonderfully spoken Arabic speech by Abdulrahman Hassan but the girl who made the day was Salma H. Amin who gave a spectacular speech with a spectacular American accent. Her last quote is still stuck in my mind as she mentioned what Johann Schiller said ‘Only those who have the patience to do simple things perfectly will get the ability to do difficult things easily.’ Two other students came next and recited a nasheed as their awesome voices echoed the compound. Our guest of honour spoke as expected; with an Arabic accent followed by a speech by the principal whereby he brought forward the fact that, ‘if we were to build it ourselves it would have costed each student at least ksh. 160,000.
So the Khalifa Foundation having done it for us is such blessing and we can’t thank the foundation and president of U.A.E enough … All we have is prayers for them.’

Next was the cutting of the library ribbon by the guest of honour together with the girl prefects. We had a short tour inside the library as the girl prefects got excited; stepping inside the building for the first time. I couldn’t help but notice one prefect who kept asking Mrs Fatma (the now deputy principal), ‘Madam, does this mean we can come here at any time?’
‘Yes…’
As if it still didn’t sink in she repeated the question, ‘Madam ANY TIME?!’ Lol, I bet we will now be having students who never used to step in the library before, now spending their entire time in the library.

Lalbiby and I had our laugh as we checked the number of switches for the fans and lights in the library; 24?!! Hahah I can imagine a student using almost 10 minutes trying to know which is the switch to the fan where they are seated and most probably end up giving up, just sit down and ‘vumilia kuwa Mkenya’ or should it be ‘vumilia kuwa Mombasan?’ with all this heat?! Nonetheless, the calligraphy of Qur’anic texts in the library are just masterpieces worth the praise MashaaAllah!

Then came the tour to the science labs together with the boys prefects and the visitors were shown the different labs including a new computer lab.

At the end of it i’m sure all the guests were really impressed with the achievements. Even though I am not there anymore, I am grateful for what the honourable Sheikh Khalifa and his foundation plus all the well wishers are doing to the school. I am very glad I attended the event, especially that Mr Rishard made sure Lalbiby and I sat in the V.I.P section with the guests :p It was awesome alhamdulilah and before I end, I would like to appreciate Lalbiby’s efforts to capture best pictures without forgetting that we were literally following every step that the hired photographer was taking. Hehe we got photography tips from the guy you can bet! I hope he didn’t notice we were copying his moves though lol.

To end this hearty article, if you are ex-Khalifan be proud that you were once part of this great school irregardless of its flaws. As for you who is still Khalifan, make best use of the chances there because once you get to university, you will realise that we had the best kind of mentorship in the school. Alhamdulilah for everything and I salute you all Khalifans by saying, ‘I am proudly Khalifan…kulluna Khalifa!!

For more of my articles please keep visiting this site. Thank you in advance!

Coast & Culture

THE PHD’s (Pull Him/Her Down)

By Lubnah Abdulhalim February 13, 2016

Photo Courtesy: http://www.executivechronicles.com/

I was once interviewing one of the prominent and active Mombasa women who has led to development in her area and there was something she told me that I will never forget. ‘The problem with us (people of Mombasa) is that we have the PHD’s (Pull Her Down) certificate holders. People will try to bring you down at any cost. They never like the idea of anyone being more successful than them.’ We all laughed at this amusing yet very true statement. I know the PHD’s are obviously in all places in Kenya and in the whole world as well but unfortunately, Mombasa has greatly been characterized with this shameful behaviour.

I have never really understood why this is the case. Is it just a bad trend that eventually became part of the culture? It’s funny that in situations where you expect your own people to be happy that you are climbing up the ladder, their dark hearts will ache; ‘I was the one supposed to be owning that car or that house’ or ‘she doesn’t deserve her husband; he should have married me instead.’ It’s like something my father was telling me the other day, ‘why can’t people just share the happiness and joy of others even when it’s not personally their success?

The sad yet hilarious reality of Mombasa is like that one whereby in a small area where there has never been a graduate and some day there emerges one, the news will spread like fire. But these kind of news don’t always come with the jolly and merry as expected. You will hear women speaking in whispers as one cooks her mahamri and others wait to give their orders. They will talk of all kind of bizarre things; you will be amazed. They will talk of how the mother to the graduate went to a witch to make his son graduate, or of the loan they had to take from a bank so as he could complete his studies or of how her daughter allegedly slept around with her lecturers to get her the A’s. They will talk of everything and anything connected to the success but never about the success itself. Or in another scenario is of the men who will sit in the baraza busy chewing miraa, discussing this same graduate; ‘Ah yule hana mpango! I asked him to find me ways to get a scholarship like he did but he didn’t bother.’ And even interestingly, the rest will join in even when they know nothing much about the young man, ‘ah bro achana naye, ana maringo kama mwanamke!’ At this point you will hear all kind of insults, old stories, his/her past will all be undug from the earth at this stage. Just so as to prove one thing; he/she doesn’t deserve the blessings he/she is in.

I am assuming that this is mostly brought about by the high levels of idleness but on second thought, until when are we going to blame idleness for all our selfish, evil and dark souls? If we have nothing to do does it justify our envy and malice for others really? So now it’s all like a competition; today I wore a buibui from Dubai while you wore one from Markiti, My daughter is studying medicine while yours is sewing clothes. There’s that unsaid; unspoken competition going on. All this goes to the extent that when a person has a problem let’s say with their fridge, and the next door neighbour can repair it, she’d rather call someone else from very far to come over, do the work and pay him for it. The mentality is often, ‘my son here is jobless, why then should I give it to him?

This drama gets to the peak when it is in office whereby you have to rub shoulders with people every.single.day. Yes they will try to bring you down every.single.day. They will bring up all kind of drama and misunderstandings just to prove one thing; you don’t deserve the job or probably you don’t deserve the post that the boss is about to give you.

Oh, it’s so amusing how people think. It always gets me thinking like ‘really?!’ Is it really worth your energy, words, sweat, saliva, time and sometimes even money to try putting someone else down?! Why can’t we just for once be genuinely, whole-heartedly, purely feel happy when someone is able to achieve something that we haven’t? I actually feel like laughing at this; laughing not because it is a good thing but because it is hilarious how people are.

Please if you’ve never tried feeling happy for someone else then please do give it a try sooner than soon. I promise you it’s going to be an awesome feeling that you’ll never regret. Try doing so and see how your own doors will open up for you by God’s will for shunning away all that envy and malice.

As for you my dear friend, as you keep struggling your way to the top, do know that you will meet several people who have graduated with the PHD’s. Some will show it to you right on your face, some will act as your friends yet they are your biggest enemies in disguise while some will just whisper around all kind of bizarre things to break you to pieces. When you do meet them, I hope you neither give up nor lose hope. I hope you are able to hold your head high and fight your way through to the very top. I hope you succeed. Ameen to that 🙂

Creative Non-Fiction

THE FAULTS IN OUR COMMUNICATION

By Lubnah Abdulhalim February 10, 2016

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

Every word, every sound you make has great weight more than you can perceive. It’s like they have gravity in the air and a slip of the tongue could cost you your life. It is precisely why I don’t believe in ‘We are friends, remember? No please. No thank you. No sorry.’ In fact being a friend should give you more reason to say thank you, sorry and please. For I very well know the importance of these words. I know the impact they can make in another’s life. I know what it means like to be appreciated, being empathized or given your due respect. And most of all, I know what it feels like to know you are loved.

Unfortunately, this is where most of us go wrong. The assumptions we keep making about our loved ones, ‘ah, my mother loves me so much she will eventually forgive me’ or ‘He is my best friend, he won’t mind if I took this from him. I will inform him later.’ But these are the same kind of things that end up breaking people apart. The idea that someone will just understand you even without explaining yourself. It may be true; some people may understand your unsaid words, but have you ever thought of their unsaid words? That maybe your best friend didn’t really like it when you took his money without requesting for it? That maybe he just can’t face you and tell you that he needed it for something else? Or the fact that your mother was so deeply alarmed by your words yet you just assumed she will forgive you? Have you ever considered what it feels for her to forgive you even without you apologizing? As much as you may think that nothing may really go wrong when you are free with someone, do keep in mind that there is something called ‘long term frustrations.’ The more you take someone else’s emotions for granted, the more the pain builds up in them. However little the pain may be, it slowly keeps growing, whether it is in days, months or even years but it keeps building up and in the end comes that big fight that messes up everything created in years. It is in such situations that you may hear of two best friends or very close friends, or even family members who just stopped communicating for mysterious reasons. This is why; the fault in our communication.

I really admire people who speak out exactly what they feel about the second party; in fact I don’t mind being confronted with the truth someone has to say to me so long as they do it in a matured manner. This is because I really value my relationships with everyone and I would do anything to ensure they are only getting better. I’ve heard dear people call me names and such, but as much as I hurt I never hate them for what they say to me and about me. They are just showing me, the ME from their point of view and it is totally okay if their point of view is negative because you can’t really please everyone in the world. Nonetheless, they make me scrutinize myself more and want to rectify myself where necessary so that my relationship with them only gets better.

However, we have those who can’t really open up and it is upon you to think and feel for them. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how it would be for you in such and such a situation. You don’t really have to be overly empathetic to understand anyone, you just need to act like a human being who has a soul. So without being reminded, remember to use the simple words like ‘please, sorry and thank you.’ Remember to think of other people’s emotions before yourself but yet still; without forgetting yourself entirely. Always remember to communicate!

Creative Non-Fiction

WHEN SAYING GOODBYE IS NOT AN OPTION

By Lubnah Abdulhalim February 4, 2016

Photo Courtesy: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/

Five young deaths just between December to February. Five young souls that had so many dreams of the future. Five young souls lost in a split of a second. Five young souls that were gone without goodbye… and that is just for the people I know. Probably thousands or even millions other very young souls have left the world since then. The more i hear these news, the more I dread checking the social media because I fear hearing of one more; gone. Been quite a shock on the death of Sajid Al beity; a brilliant young man and Aziz Bashir yesterday. I’m not even over the death of Ahmed Darwesh yet. Sometimes I turn on the TV and still wait to hear his happy voice and charming smile delivering the news. It almost sounds unreal, like a nightmare and soon everything will be back to normal with all these young people happily rejoicing life amongst their loved ones. Yet who are we to question God’s plans and wisdom? This is just but a journey and all of us will finally go to the same destination; our graves.

I’ve always been obsessive, possesive, all these crazy words; you name it. I have struggled to keep my ties with everyone intact. I have always been like the hopeless romantic who can never fathom or accept the idea of anyone; family, friends, workmates, colleagues, any person who in any way impacted my life…anyone, leaving their life. My friends keep telling me not to get too attached because you will always end up hurt but my ideology has always been different. I know the consequences of holding onto people. The end of it is usually terrible especially when there is no goodbye. But one thing I am glad of despite everything is that I am acting the way a human being should be. I am glad I have a soul that has emotions when so many people around act heartless. I keep saying all the time, LIFE IS TOO SHORT and my friends think i’m just being hysterical with the saying ‘stop talking like you are about to die’ but yes, I am about to die. All of us are at the verge of dying we just dont know when. Probably it’s this thought stuck in my mind that makes me seek people in my life who keep disappearing. And sometimes it’s almost like hide and seek. We talk then suddenly they disappear and i’d go down the earth like a crazy maniac to find out where they are. And it keeps going like that over and over again. But if anything, I am glad I am the way I am because I have no regrets whatsoever with how i dealt with anyone. I know I tried my very best to keep all my relationships with people in my life to be straight and I tried my best to never cut off anyone yet those who decided to leave despite my continuous trials, I rest my case. Apart from that, any mistakes are out of my human self of which I hope i’d be forgiven for by God’s will.

All this makes me think a lot; is it that I am abnormal or is it that people don’t have a subconscious mind? How is someone able to go days, months, years not talking to someone just because of something that can be resolved? How are people so okay with crossing roads and passing by someone you were once so close to like you are total strangers? How does your ego let you sleep so comfortably when you know you are the reason someone is suffering out there? How do you afford to be happy with yourself when you are sooo not ready to face God?? Why do we wait until someone is gone is when we value them and scrutinize what they said to us more than before? Why do we wait to say, ‘I wish he/she knew how much I valued them??

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There comes a time when saying goodbye is not an option and this scares me like nothing else. There comes a time when saying I am sorry, or I love you or this is how much I care for you to your mum or dad or spouse, your friends or maybe your siblings; is impossible. The thought that people don’t think of unsaid goodbyes bugs me so so much; I wish I understood how people are so comfortable with their lives forgetting that there is something called; sudden death? It makes me want to scream on people’s faces so that they can wake up. So that they can look at the world from this point of view that I see it; so that they can finally realize that when their time finally comes they will never have one more minute. But I know screaming at anyone never made any difference yet I still hope everyone dies while they are happy that they lived well, that they have nothing to regret about.

We were all sad when Ahmed Darwesh passed on and the even younger Sajid…and all the other young souls that died so unexpectedly but do we really learn the lesson? Do we learn from what God is trying to make us understand here? That our lives are too short and at anytime we could go too?? Do we just think about it for the few days after they die then go back to our reckless lives after that?? Whoa! I wish I could share my fear with some other people maybe somehow that will make them value life more. Maybe it will make them realize how we are just going back to sand at the end of it all. I have no words anymore; maybe just hope that God grants us death only when we are ready to face Him and for the ones who left already, May God grant them His jannah. Ameen.

Creative Non-Fiction

THE FIRST HERO IN OUR LIVES

By Lubnah Abdulhalim January 9, 2016

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

Have you ever looked at your old man’s face?Your dad? Have you keenly looked at the grey hair on his head? Have you speculated his smile? Have you tried to see the concern beyond his fury? Have you tried to see the sadness behind his silence? Have you looked keenly at his simple smile and humble laughter? Have you even bothered to think about his unsaid words and hidden emotions? You already forgot how much he sacrificed for your sake? You forget that you are the reason he wakes up each morning to go to work? You forget that you are the reason he still dreams, anticipates and waits?

Everyone talks about their mums; our greatest role models and the ones we look up to all our lives. Millions and millions of posts, articles and poems have been written for and about the mother. We talk of how she raised us and sacrificed a lot to ensure we are happy. But how do we forget the most important man in our lives? You think he didn’t want to buy that Subaru he sees and admires everyday at the net? You think he didn’t want to take a holiday and go with your mum to Dubai or probably Hawaii and enjoy their last few years in this life? You think that paying fees for you was his duty? What about if he just decided that secular education was not all that important and let you stay at home like other parents do? What about if he decided to just be selfish and seek his own personal dreams and desires? We usually tend to forget all this. We tend to take him for granted. We barely remember to get him a gift; the gifts have always been for mum isn’t it? Yet he still smiles when he sees you giving a gift to your mum. He still appreciates you even when he very well knows you love your mum more than him. Trust me, the smallest thought of him; the smallest gift you get him, he will appreciate ten times more than the worth of the small thing you brought him or even did to him. Gifts can be the things you do to him as well; the things he’d love see you do for him.

It’s true, a mother is irreplaceable and nothing can we ever do to repay her. But what of your dad who probably had to leave you all behind to seek a job in a far away place? You think it is easy for him being far from his wife and children? You think he doesn’t miss you all and that life simply moves on for him?

Please try to look at him deeply. Look at his expressions; how he moves, walks and talks. Try to understand him. Try to look beyond what he shows at the outer. Do remember to tell him that you love him every once in a while. Some would say it’s awkward saying it to dad especially how we are raised like we shouldn’t expose our emotions to the male figures in our society but remember that the prophet p.b.u.h very well showed love to his family members. And just like we expect parents to follow his example by showing love to their children, then let’s do the same to our parents as well. If saying it is difficult then show it; show it with your actions. Let him know you care about him, smile at him always and keep him close by you. Yes, you can always love your mum much more but don’t let him live unnoticed and unappreciated. Pray for him always and do the same with your mum. Make them proud. Love him as much as you can because there is only one dad you can ever have in your life. Never forget; he is the first hero in your life story.