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Lubnah Abdulhalim


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It can be so painful and frustrating when a Muslim youth is neglected not only by the parents, but by the society as well. We have parents who have given their children extreme freedom to the extent that it can just be counted as negligence and recklessness on their side. Most of the times, youths are judged by their character and how they behave when with people but sometimes who is to blame if not parents? The environment in which a youth grows up in really molds him/her to what they finally grow up into. Usually, youth are very vulnerable and especially when he/she misses out on parental love and guidance, that is when we as youth get out of control. Some parents just don’t have the time to listen and talk to their children and young adults. In fact sometimes, it may pass weeks before they see one another because everyone is busy in their own world. They don’t bother to ask or even to care about what is happening in their children’s lives so long as they see them at home with no vivid scratches and wounds then life is good enough for them. But for young Muslims growing up in such a malicious environment, a lot of deep secrets are hidden from parents and if the parents never bother to get close to their children, that’s when the youth find other ways to compensate their parents’ negligence. Some indulge in drugs, some go into prostitution, some just seek love from any man or woman ready to offer them what they need most; which is attention. It is true that some parents actually do offer the parental care and love to their children, but the saddening part is that, these parents are ‘okay’ with how the modern Muslim child is growing into. We have parents who totally see no problem in seeing their young adult daughter go out in exposing clothes or without her hijab, or for some, they totally have no problem if their son comes home with a girl to spend me with. Parents, leaders, role models are letting us, the youth, down. We need to be reminded, we need guidance, we need the love and attention and most of all, we need the support when we are interested in deen. We need more parents saying, ‘it is totally okay if you don’t want to do medicine even though you passed very well, you can go do Islamic studies as you so wish.’ I wish more parents would know that the world doesn’t only revolve around Medicine, Engineering, Law or Business or any other thing they would be proud for their children to take. And that this same world needs more Islamic scholars and academicians and writers. The solution to this is to have both parents and leaders dedicate more of their time speaking to young people; not to harass or condemn for their mistakes or mishaps, but to guide them through their worldly tests and give them the support they need. We need parents acting maturely and setting up good examples for their children to follow instead of joining them in their lost world.

We are living in such a rotten society and our morality is melting away like how wet clay drips off in our hands. We are living in this current era where homosexuality is now being legalized in different parts of the world, we are living in this era whereby everyone is tweeting #mydressmychoice, we are living in the world of parents raping their children and children raping their parents, we are living in the world of bestiality, the world of children taking their parents to court, the world of corruption, prostitution and drugs; we are now living in the era where impunity and immorality is being mistaken to freedom. It is a scary generation and what’s even scarier is the fact that we are scared how our children in the future generations will be like. The fitnah and tribulations can be overwhelming and sometimes however hard a believer tries to abstain from looking, going and doing, the fitnah; sometimes in human form, sometimes in form of music, or videos or even written words, avails itself to him/her whenever he is, comes to them and lures them into sinful acts. This is the era of jihad an-nafs; the era where one has to battle between his mind, heart and soul; to battle with their desires not to indulge in haraam acts. This can be so tricky especially when we are in the technology and internet era whereby youth are being psychologically and indirectly brainwashed and being convinced without them realizing that they are gradually changing their thoughts and way of thinking. Peer pressure plays a great role in the indulgence of youth in immorality especially issues like drug addiction, prostitution, becoming pornography addicts and things like that. Moreover, a lot of young people don’t know who to approach when they are in agony or in doubt or in fear and this is when Satan lures them into acts like drinking alcohol and use of drugs. Worse still, children are left unsupervised; given iphones at very young age, unknown what kind of friends they have, what sites they visit in the internet, where they get the money to spend, where they spend most of their time or why they come home so late. That same negligence as mentioned above is what influences immorality as well. But what best can we do to help youth overcome the challenges they have having to deal with fitnah face to face and help them abstain from sinful acts? We need guidance from our leaders and preferably, the young da’ees and sheikhs since they can easily bond with other young people. We need sheikhs who would not condemn young people for watching or for that matter, being obsessed with football or any kind of sports or maybe play station. We have to realize that in our era, a young man watching football is much better than the one sitting in a baraza with peers somewhere, doing nothing but having idle talk, or watching pornography or taking drugs. And if we try to stop them from watching sports, then we are giving space to Satan to corrupt their minds with other things. So long as the young men obsessed with football prays five times and fasts and does ibadah, we should actually thank God that sports is what they spend their time in rather than other immoral acts. We don’t need sheikhs calling out ‘young people are adulterers, young people are immoral…’ we need leaders and role models who are approachable, those who can listen to the youth talk about their mistakes without judging them; those who can give proper guidance and counseling. We need Islamic heroes.

 

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 Putting aside everything else, growing up as a Muslim youth in the current century is a big challenge in itself. Even as an adamant observer, what goes around us is enough fitnah and a test enough to let one drown with the rest of the filthy world. The challenges are so many and yet still, so deep that they keep worsening by the day.

In my opinion, the biggest challenge facing Islam especially the Muslim youth in this era is the confusion, chaos and divisions in deen. What could be more confusing than when our elders have nothing to offer to us than streams and streams of tag-and-war beliefs whereby everyone believes they are more pious than the other; whereby everyone is a sheikh better than the other; whereby everyone is giving fatwas on very important and complex issues of deen, taking it so simply? We have reached to that shameful state whereby we declare fellow Muslims as Kufarrs (disbelievers), and declare that we would never go to such and such a mosque or would never listen to such and such a sheikh. It is a disgrace. So how can we ever even face our enemies when all this is happening within us? How can we ever get the power we want when our weaknesses are so open to everyone that we lost all the respect we ever had? What do we tell these new converts to Islam? After they have believed that they have finally found truth how do we go about telling them that ‘you know, there will be a time whereby you will have to choose what kind of Muslim you want to be; what sheikh you will listen to, which not to, what mosque to go to and which not, what moon-sighting for Ramadhan and Eid you should follow and which not?’ It gets to a point whereby one doesn’t anticipate the moon-sighting anymore because instead of it being a joyous moment, it was made a moon-fighting moment. And so now all we have is young men who are totally ignorant of religion, indulging in debates and insulting sheikhs and saying on what they believe is true. But what is true really? How can we know what is true when our own elders are so engrossed in these divisions that we just found ourselves in? So I hear nowadays the divisions got divided too. It is even amusing yet so sad to hear that we have ahlu sunnah, Khurafi, shiate etc etc…plus the ahlul sunnah are sub divided as well; the salafists and the salafists have also had their differences and sub divided to old salafi, modern salafi and I hear of the super salafi as well! It is really irritating especially when you hear how these sub-divisions talk about each other and insult. How can we even associate ourselves with the prophet p.b.u.h when we can’t do the simplest thing he did, which is to respect the differences we all have? So long as we had nothing like Abubakarism or Omarism then who are we to associate ourselves with groups that were never founded or approved by the prophet or even his close friends who will be with him in jannah? Why can’t we simply declare ourselves as Muslims without associating ourselves with anyone else except follow the prophet’s way p.b.u.h? It is true, nothing can be done to stop these groups and sub divisions from being formed because the prophet p.b.u.h said it himself that during the day of judgment, there will be 73 sub-groups of Islam and only one will enter jannah. In one of his narrations, the prophet p.b.u.h said (sourced from Sunan Abu Dawud): ‘There will be dissension and division in my nation and a people will come with beautiful words but evil deeds. They recite the Qur’an but it will not pass beyond their throats. They will leave the religion as an arrow leaves its target and they will not return until the arrows returns to its notch. They are the worst of the creation.’ This means that it was already pre-fated that we will have this kind of fitnah and differences and that we can’t really join back as one. But what is the simplest that can be done? The prophet p.b.u.h during the battle of Badr, he asked the captives that whoever had knowledge could gain his freedom by teaching ten Muslims from the knowledge they had. So why not do the same? Why can’t we join hands in what we agree on and respect the few issues we differ on? Why can’t we follow this sheikh because he is more learned in this field of Qur’an and follow the other because he is better in fiqh? Why can’t our elders and leaders who are supposed to be role models, sit and discuss these conflicting issues keenly and come with an agreed upon solution? Because that is the only solution available; working together in what we both agree on and avoid all the fuss and chaos of fighting and debating about our differences in beliefs.

And it is just by this fuss, chaos and confusion that young men become extremists and are radicalized with the idea of jihad obsessed in their heads. But do we as young people know what jihad is really all about? How do we want to go jihad when we barely pray all the five prayers in time, when we barely understand the deen, when we don’t even know how to respect our parents? Many of the youth are fanatics of jihad not because they really care about Islam and its power but they just view jihad as a heroic activity; yet the painful truth is that, the youth are venturing into issues beyond their understanding and power. Ali bin Abu Talib reported (as sourced from Sahih Bukhari): the messenger of Allah peace and blessings be upon him said: ‘In the last days, there will be young people with foolish dreams. They will say the best of words in creation but they will pass through Islam just as an arrow passes through its game. Their faith will not go beyond their throats.’ But who is to be blamed in all this? Where were our leaders and parents while their children convinced themselves that jihad is more important than the daily prayers that they skip and the humbleness they never showed to their parents?

The scary part of us as Muslim youth is that we are growing up with signs as of the Khawarij which are mentioned in so many ahadith. The Khawarijite ideology is based upon the following tenets: Declaring Muslims to be unbelievers, rejecting lawful obedience to the rulers and justifying violence against Muslims and innocent people. Ibn Taymiyyah wrote: The Kharijite sect was the first to declare Muslims to be unbelievers because of their sins. They charged as unbelievers whoever disagreed with their innovations and they made lawful the spilling of blood and the taking of wealth. This is the condition of the people of innovation that they invent some religious innovation and then they excommunicate whoever disagrees with them concerning it. Rather, the people of sunnah and the community follow the book and the sunnah and they obey Allah and His messenger and follow the truth. They have mercy upon the creation. (Majmu’ Al-Fatawa 1/278)

Abu Hureira reported: The prophet p.b.u.h said (sourced from Sahih Muslim): Whoever rejects obedience to the leader and divides the community and dies, will have died upon ignorance. Whoever fights under the banner of one who is blind, raging for the sake of tribalism, and is killed will have died upon ignorance. Whoever rebels against my nation, striking the righteous and wicked alike and sparing not even the believers and does not fulfill the pledge of security, then he has nothing to do with me and I have nothing to do with him.’ And we are seeing all the mentioned in our current era; we are seeing believers and innocent people die in the hands of their fellow Muslims. And this is the challenge to us all as Muslims. We are losing control of our youth and this reality can’t be refuted.

As such, in our times we are witnessing conflicts between oppressive governments and rebels. Muslims are stuck between the gunshot of the ruler and the gunshot of the rebel. And if we are not careful, we might fall into the sins of either side of the conflict by legitimizing the misdeeds of an oppressive government or justifying acts of terrorism in response. We should not rush to support one or another side in such conflicts as they are tribulations (fitnah) in which the truth is unclear. Hassan Al Basri, may Allah have mercy on him said: If the people had patience when they are being tested by their unjust ruler, it will not be long before Allah will give them a way out. However, they always rush to their swords, so they are left with their swords. By Allah, not even for a single day did they bring about any good.’ (Tabaqat Al-Kubra 8789). Satan intends to use the alluring call of the Kharijites as a means to drag us into hellfire. We have to resist this by upholding the true teachings of Islam: mercy upon creation, patience with hardships, and justice with our enemies. It is only by understanding Islam in both its inward and outward teachings can we protect ourselves, our children and our communities from dangerous ideologies all over the world. It is true Muslims are being oppressed, it is true we are being humiliated, it is true we are living in misery and maybe we can’t really blame the youth for the anguish and anger that is in them but we as Muslims must maintain patience and work to reform and improve our communities through education, preaching and charity. We must have strategies in gaining back our power without losing our respect in exchange. We have to be brave, intelligent and tactical because in this current era; strength with no brains is meaningless to the society.

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Selective Mutism. That’s the medical term for what I went through for a good portion of my childhood. Crucible of Suffering is more accurate if you ask me. Apparently millions of kids all over the world suffer from it every year, but none of them went to school where I did.

Mother carefully tied the yellow scarf on my head so as not to tamper with my neatly plaited hair and slowly led me towards the fancy yellow car. Yellow was undoubtedly her favorite color, but I didn’t understand why she was forcing me like it too. I just stared at small edges of the yellow scarf that were hanging to my tiny shoulders and shrugged.

But I have to tell her today, I said to myself as I treaded along. But how? I scratched my head. I have to find a way, I was now almost in tears.I don’t want to go to that school again. No. Never again. Soon tears were rolling down my face and she turned to face me.

“What is wrong mami?” she said as she stopped in her tracks. She lifted her hands and wiped the tears from my face all the while whispering softly, ‘Don’t cry.’

“When are you going to get used to your school? It’s been more than six months now since you joined,” she once again said using her hands.

How am I going to tell you mother? I thought to myself.

Mother held my hand firmly and made me sit in her sparkling clean car.

“Your teacher says you haven’t yet learnt to write the letters…you have to work harder mmh?” she gestured to me and softly patted my head.

But that is the problem! How can I tell you anything when I can’t even write besides everything else?

When you can’t talk or write you cry.

When you cry, you get reprimanded and punished or at best pitied.

I all but squeezed my mother’s hand as we approached the school gate. I could see my colleagues playing in the compound with so much zeal, all dressed in uniform pink skirts and white t-shirts. I stared at them for a moment. They were all younger than me…and smarter. At least they know how to write.

Mother kissed me on the cheek and gave me a slight push towards my teacher; Miss Khadija who was standing some steps away. My teacher was elegantly tall, but “tall” wasn’t adequate to describe her height. She was reallytall! I always feared looking up at her because I thought my neck might break in the process. But that wasn’t all; Miss Khadija always wore that same scarf throughout the six months that I had spent in the school. She wore it tight enough only to reveal the middle part of her face which made her look old and grumpy. She always managed to match her dark veil matched with her scarf but even that could not distract fromthe fact that she was scary.

She bundled her way to where I was stood and hugged me so tightly her expensive perfume flooded my nostrils. I wriggled myself out of her grip and quickly walked away.

I stood by the wall of the school and hunched; with my hands covering my tiny face except for my teary eyes.Then Leila, the kindergarten prima donna with hordes of sheep following her around, appeared with a smirk on her face. She pulled out her tongue and made funny faces to me. I decided not to bulge from my place. But soon enough, a whole gang of other bullies joined her and were now laughing hysterically at me. I tried to speak out but all I could make were incomprehensible sounds, useless mumbles. My mouth betrayed me again.

Selective mutism, you still remember that term right? I should have told you it’s worse when you are deaf as well as selectively mute. Once in a while though, the rage that stems from being different and misunderstood can be quite liberating. I rushed to Leila and pulled her scarf off. I got hold of her long pigtails and pulled them with all my energy. Her screams filled the entire compound immediately. The other bullies suddenly freaked out and called Miss Khadija. I was breathing heavily when Miss Khadija finally succeeded in stopping the fight. I saw Leila say something to our teacher in between tears, although I couldn’t exactly understand what she was saying, I knew she was hurt. And that was enough to satisfy me; at least for the day

During the lunch break, Miss Khadija came and sat opposite me. She slid my lunch box across the table and stared me in the eyes. I looked away to where the other children were playing. I sighed with a longing; I wished I could have friends too, even if just one. I sighed again My helplessness was killing me!

Miss Khadija drew my lunch box closer to her. My lip-reading was not perfect but I understood the words she mouthed to me perfectly. I was to be punished for losing my temper that morning, not that my account for that event mattered. I stared at her long nails as she grabbed my sandwich, pushed it in her mouth quickly and gobbled it down, maintaining her stare as if to gauge my reaction. She cleared my lunch in no time and left my table without a word. Mother has to know about all this…I have to learn how to write! I declared with a finality.

I grabbed my book and held the pencil firmly with all fingers. I slowly started drawing the curve to shape an ‘a’, struggling my way through. After what seemed to be an endless energy-draining hour, I wrote my first letter. It was enough to make me jump up in delight.

I am going to write a letter to mother soon! Yes I will!

THE ‘OKAY PEOPLE’ IN YOUR LIFE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

In life you will meet people who will be different from you; people with different perspectives of life, different thoughts, different lifestyles, different definitions of happiness and so much more. Not everyone is going to agree with you. Every person has their own journey so learn to respect the differences between you two.  They don’t have to be your enemies nor do you have to befriend them by force, just be okay with them in such a way that you are mature enough to respect the differences between you.

Whereas someone may declare you to be bossy someone else will just call the same thing as good leadership skills. Someone may declare you to be mean; another would call it a tough personality. Someone may call you a cry baby while someone would just call it as sensitivity. Someone may call you foolish while someone else would just see it as humbleness from you. Someone may declare you to have arrogance while to someone else that may as well be your smartness in disguise.

When a person is able to understand your pattern; your way of talking, your way of asking, your way of laughing, your language, your perception of issues and viewpoints without having to justify yourself, then those are the people to hold close in your life; because majority of the rest of the people you will come across in your life will always have the first negative instinct on everything that you do. Many will critique your work, your words and your actions. Many will twist all your positive intentions to be horrible ones. Many will judge you in odd ways but you have to accept the reality of it; that you will meet more and more such people. No need to hold a grudge against the person who doesn’t understand you for what you really are. No need to have hatred for those who hold twisted judgments of you. It happens, not only to you, but to everyone. But if you want to have eternal peace then learn to honestly forgive the differences between you and the other person/s because sometimes, it is not their fault that they don’t really get you. It could be their background or lifestyle or their environment that doesn’t allow them to see life the way you do. So do not hate; embrace the differences instead and make them your ‘okay people’.  You never know because sometimes, making peace with such people may give you both the space to study and understand other viewpoints from each other. You may be surprised to know that you could also learn a lot from your ‘okay people’ more than the people you freely bond with.

Life isn’t about finding the right people always but also learning to embrace the other people whom we don’t agree with by your differences. Respect your different viewpoints and learn to accept that not everyone will be on your side. You may not really love them and sometimes not even like them, but respect between you brings your relationship with them to a whole different level. Sometimes all you need is those two important things; respect and time and maybe you will also be able to accept your ‘okay people’ into your lives permanently. So give it time and appreciate all kind of people in your life. That is the way to find peace.

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If you see a person depressed, a person hungry, a person crying in pain, a person who is homeless, a person suffering what happens to you? What is it that happens to your heart? When you see a Muslim drinking alcohol, a lady walking half naked or in tight clothing with full make up, a child cursing and using swear words, when you commit a sin what happens to you?? Do you feel the pinch in your heart or do you just throw your arms and say ‘I don’t care. It’s none of my business?’ Do you feel the urge to help or would you rather say, ‘ I have my own problems?’ Sweetheart, if you don’t feel it; if you don’t feel the ‘ouch’ and the pinch or the burn in your stomach then do know, there is something really wrong with you.

The word imaan can be used in different concepts. One could be used to describe faith but the one I mean here is the one on mercy or rather, having pity; being humane. When all you care about is you and yourself, If all that’s happening in the world; all this bloodshed, refugees, hunger, suffering does not move anything in your heart, if it has become okay and very normal to see fellow Muslims go astray, if your own sins no longer bother you then maybe you should really reflect on what your life and living is really like.

The prophet p.b.u.h said: whoever amongst you sees some evil/wrongdoing then he should change it with his hand, if he can’t then he should stop the evil by his tongue and if he can’t then he should do it within his heart (by hating it) and that is the lowest level of imaan. So where is your imaan? Where is your hatred for evil? Where is your mercy on other mankind? What if that homeless was your child? What if that girl gone bad is your sister? What if that person crying for help was your own mother? What if the boy not praying was your brother? Would it change? Would you now feel the pinch in your heart?

Truth is that we will always care about the people dearest to us but as we continue living while ignoring all that happens to everyone else then eventually we even lose the little imaan that we have.

Small things like how you treat your house help so badly, how you compliment the girl in her wrong clothing, how you sin without repenting, how you insult your neighbour, how you are totally okay even after knowing that your sister is hanging around with some guy out there, how your heart has grown so cold you don’t even realize it, all make a very big difference in your heart. So where is your imaan? Where is your mercy upon fellow mankind? Keep thinking…

 

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I looked at the beautiful sea in front of me and took a deep sigh. This is going to be my last time to ever see this wonderful scenario. This is going to be the end of me, the end of all my sins, the end of everything…I took a step forward and climbed over the first metal rail of the bridge. The wind was softly slapping my face as the tears went on flowing. Then a soft little hand held my shoulder and said, “Don’t do it!”

I turned around in surprise and in front of me was a little girl. She looked so messy and in rags. I looked at her deep brown eyes which seemed so happy and content. Without a word, I turned back to the ocean ahead of me but the hand firmly pulled me aside.

Looking into my eyes, she said: “what could be the worst that could have happened?”

“You won’t understand little girl. Please let me do this peacefully.”

The little girl didn’t let me go and insisted to hear my answer.

“I have done a lot of sins and God will never forgive me…now, will you please let me go?”

“Allah (SW) says: “Say: “O ‘Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (az-zumar: 53)

“But my mother died because of me…I am to blame. She passed away after getting the news that I’m pregnant.”

“Allah (SW) says: “Everyone is going to taste death, and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good, and to Us you will be returned.” (an-biya’a: 35)My mother died while giving birth to me, should I take the blame?”

I looked at her in more surprise.

“I regret all that happened and I want to repent but I don’t know where to start from. Will God ever forgive me?”

“Allah (SW) says: “…Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).” (al-imran: 159)

“But I am so lonely, with no one at all.”

Allah (SW) says “ And indeed We have created man, and We know what his ownself whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein (by Our Knowledge).” (qaf: 16) I have been in the streets but I have never felt lonely because I know Allah is with me.”“Right now I am so restless and confused.”

“Allah (SW) says: “…Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest” (ar-rad: 28)“But I don’t know what to do anymore!”

“Allah (SW) says: “ And your Lord said: “Invoke Me, [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism)] (and ask Me for anything) I will respond to your (invocation)…” (ghafir: 60) and He also said: “Therefore remember Me (by praying, glorifying, etc.). I will remember you…” (baqarah: 152)

“Where will I live now? How? With what money? can you answer me that?”

“Allah (SW) says: “…And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).” (At-talaq: 2) I’ve been in the streets and I’ve never slept hungry.”

I was so touched by the girl’s words then I asked her,

“Where did you learn all this while you are in the streets?”

“From my father before he died too.”

I stood quietly for a moment. What had I done throughout my 18 years? I had all the love from my parents but I never appreciated it. I had all the wealth to help street children like these but I never did. I had all the chances to acquire such knowledge of my Lord but I never bothered and now, I have to hear it from a little girl like this, what a shame!”

The girl suddenly interrupted my thoughts,

“Go find your life, surely Allah (SW) has written a share of the world for you…and never forget, Allah (SW) says: “And those who, when they have committed Fahishah (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins; – and none can forgive sins but Allah – And do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know.” (Al-imran: 135) Repent, pray, love, share and you’ll have all the happiness you need; just like me.” The little girl left without any other word and I just realized, there was a lot of good I could do to myself than committing suicide. I turned away from the ocean and looked ahead of me- God loves me and I know He will forgive me, guide me and grant me my needs with His will…

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Have you ever stood by the mirror and looked beyond your own reflection? Beyond that familiar face that you give the whole world; into your naked soul. Have a peep at that disappointed inner you, at the broken you, the angry you, the frustrated you, the sad you that is hidden in a totally different outer personality; the scared you that is covered by the ruthless you, the broken you that is covered by the arrogant you and many more of such. Most of us tend to be so due to the environment we grew up in and sometimes it could be of the hard and difficult situations that we went through in our lives. We tend to act strong while with people, forcing the smiles and pushing back the tears yet it is the darkness within us that makes us unbearable and sometimes insensitive.

 We all concentrate too much on how we look on the outer. We are all trying to impress the world of what we are and what we have yet we forget of our inner self that we’ve neglected for years. It is okay to be broken, to be imperfect, to be at wrong because it is just part of being human, so accept what you have inside you and learn to walk out of the darkness you are in. Learn the chemistry of your heart; what you really want rather than what you want to show the world.

Hatred only breeds more darkness; it is only love that brings you back to light once again. We all need a hand to pull us out of the darkness; could be a friend, a spouse, a parent or even a mentor. We all need a helping hand to show us the sunlight during the hard times of our lives. But nonetheless, the reality is that not always will we have a person to show that we are better than we think we are. Not always will we have a person who believes in our ability to light the world even with the mistakes done and our flaws but when you try create happiness in another person’s life or help them come out from their own darkness, you will eventually find your own way to light and finally find the inner peace.

Truly, you are just what you think about yourself. If you explore into your deeper inner self, if you fill your small world with your own light and thus lighting and colouring the lives of the people around you, if you believe that you can be better then you will be exactly that. Fill your heart with positive illusions about yourself, with time they will become your reality. Because you know it more than anyone else; You Are Better Than You Think You Are.

THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

I remember when I was thirteen years old, my closest friend decided to replace me as her best friend with another girl. I was apparently so hurt at that and wrote her a two paged letter filled with so much bitterness and was listing down all the sacrifices I did for her sake and the way she didn’t appreciate. As i was writing the letter, my mother appeared and saw it. she read it through and gasped with astonishment, ‘you carry all this load in your heart?!’ and i cant forget how much she scolded me for concentrating on friendship that much instead of my studies as i was a candidate by then. All in all, my point is not at how my mother scolded me or what happened after that. Many years later now, I look back at that situation and wish that the only betrayal that could ever exist was like that one whereby an innocent thirteen year old is filled with bitterness because her best friend replaced her.

As someone once said, ‘every man faces seven enemies in his lifetime; sickness, hunger, betrayal, envy, greed, old age and finally death.

As I grew up, I realized how naïve I was and that the world is actually like a battle field. so many wolves ready to attack you just the moment you trip. The saddest thing about betrayal though is that it never comes from your enemies, it comes from the people you loved the most.

As John Le Carre said ‘love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love.’ No one could ever dispute this fact that betrayal only happens when you love, because you trusted in the first place. Of course you wouldn’t trust your enemy right? therefore, betrayal never happens with your enemies, it only happens with your loved ones.

We live in a world where you can’t really trust anyone completely. It takes years to build trust and yet, just a few seconds to break it. We live in a world whereby you can’t even trust to leave your wife alone for some few hours, in the fear that another man, probably could be even your neighbour, takes over your place just the moment you leave.

Betrayal has led to so much pain. They say time heals all wounds but they forget that the scar will forever be there. People may forgive but will never forget the deep pain they felt and of course, nothing will ever be the same again.

Sometimes, a mother betrays her child. One would wonder how? but haven’t we seen all those many children appearing on our televisions, with deep cuts, burns, mutilated body parts just because of a small mistake they did? Yes, she betrayed her child. He trusted her, he knew she would never want any harm for him, he knew she would protect her and what did she do instead? she was the one holding the knife, the one holding the flame ready to burn, the one holding a panga ready to chop…the one who put the poison in his food. Yes, that is betrayal. When a father rapes his own daughter and maybe, she even gets pregnant and the girl lives the rest of her life being haunted. Life will never be the same again for her.

Betrayal is when we all put our trust and hope in that leader. As we die with hunger and thirst, we still had the energy to stand up and have faith that change will come with this leader. It is that kind of hope that never dies and we all vote for him, thinking we would never be hungry and thirsty again. But alas! greed is all he ever had.

Betrayal is when you love someone so deeply and just suddenly, they shatter all your dreams into small irreplaceable pieces of glass. Even picking up the pieces will cut you once again so you let them right there with the undying hope that they would realize what damage they caused and maybe…just maybe come back.

Betrayal doesn’t only break your heart, but also darkens your soul. You will never forget the pain and many have changed due to that kind of pain.

Trust is like a mirror, once broken, you may try to repair it but no matter what you will always still see the cracks. So be very careful on whom you trust and value the people who trust you and keep up to their expectations. Don’t disappoint them for giving you the most valuable thing they can ever offer; TRUST!

You are not a fool that you trusted, that you loved, that you had faith…they are the fools for lying to someone who trusted them. So forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you!

NOTHING PLEASES THE WORLD ANYWAY

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

Truly, human beings are the most complex of creatures and each one of us has a different personality from the other. In this life whatever you are, however you are, there must be some people somewhere who will hate you, disagree with you or simply not appreciate you for what you are. As Dita Vee said, ‘You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.’

When you work hard, you are too serious. When you don’t, you are a joker. When you eat, you are greedy. When you don’t, you are a freak. When you read, you are a nerd. When you don’t, you are stupid. You let someone into your life, you are too easy. When you don’t, you’re up too tight. When you tell a secret, you are an attention seeker, when you don’t you are still an attention seeker. You wear make up, you’re a slag. When you don’t, you are old fashioned. When you sleep around, you are a slut. When you don’t, you are frigid. When you cry, you are a cry baby, when you don’t, you are cold hearted. When you wear provokingly, you are an attention seeker. When you wear decent, you are a pretender. When there is war, the world condemns it. When there is peace, the leaders destroy it.

The list could go on and on without ending but all in all, we may as well have to realize that every action we take should have a purpose that to us, is good…the rest of the world doesn’t really matter. Just as people like Hitler have so many haters in the world, there are some people who still adore what the man was. Just the same way, maybe someone somewhere, doesn’t really like what Nelson Mandela stood up for. But that is just life. When you are bad, you are too bad. When you are good, you are way too good to be true. When people don’t know what is happening in your life, they speculate. When you suddenly start becoming rich, they suspect you are either involved with illuminati or you are a corrupt individual. They will always suspect you for something. When they think they know about you, they fabricate. All kind of rumours will spread about you. If it is about that new Mercedes that you bought, stories will go round on what you had to do to get it. Maybe steal some money, maybe oppress someone, and maybe lend from someone etcetera. And when they really know about you, how much you worked to get where you are they will hate you.

When you are sweet, they think you are foolish. They will take advantage of you and step on you like the door mat. When you are firm and strong, they say you are heartless. Even being pretty becomes a crime. They’ll hate you for being pretty. And yet still, they will also hate you when you are not pretty. You barely have any friends at all, why; because you are way too ugly for their company. People will hate you for what you lack. You lack intellect? You lack wealth? You lack good looks? You are not of my standard. And yet still, when you have got everything that everyone wishes for, they’ll still hate you; for having what they don’t.

People who speak out their minds usually have the most haters because they don’t try to fit in with everybody else. The bad news is you can never fit in with everyone. That’s just impossible. The good news is the great never do. So stop the struggle of trying to make people like you. Fact is you can’t please the world. Nothing does anyway.

However much you try, there will always be people who don’t like you; the way you look, the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you speak out your mind, the way you mingle with them, the things you believe in, your intellect, the things you read and listen to. In the end of the day, it is up to you whether you will let people ruin your day and control your actions towards them or whether you will stand up for yourself and be whatever you want to be without fearing or caring what people will really think about you. Do what you think is right to you, do good to your ability and never think twice about doing it more and more. You are not in this world to please anyone apart from God. There will always be people who won’t appreciate your nature, your struggles, dreams and ambitions but for sure, there won’t miss a person who will. So just be a nice person and true to yourself. That’s what really matters.

Photo Courtesy: https://2.bp.blogspot.com/

Dear brother

Remember what you did last night?? Remember??? Well someone does remember. Allah does remember. Allah does remember how you picked up that girl from her house. How you took her for dinner. How you made her smile and laugh. How you took her to a lodge and spent the night with her. Allah knows how much you enjoyed. He knows how much joy you had. He also knows that that girl is not legally yours. He also knows that that girl has a father who has trust on her. He knows that that girl has a brother who loves her. He knows that that girl has a mother that would die for her. He knows that you are ruining the chance of her parents going to jannah. He knows that you are ruining the chance of her father owning a palace in jannah. He knows you are ruining the dignity she holds for her family. He knows…He knows what you did last night…

Hey pretty girl

I bet you are so head over heals about this guy yea? Last night was awesome right? You will never forget how he held you how he kissed you how much fun you had am I right? You’ve been daydreaming the entire day. You want a repeat of the night. You were looking so hot last night in that red exposing dress…and the makeup? Oh! Just looked spectacular!! You think he loves you yea? You think he will be there for you forever yea? He even calls you my wife! How interesting. Well bad news is someone knows what you did last night. Yes Allah knows. He watched every step you took from when he picked you up. He knows…He knows..

You both don’t care one lil bit that He knows right. You are still too young to worry about God yea? ‘You Only Live Once’ yea??? You still believe that you are too young to die??

Well…I hope the time you break up you remember this particular post. You can live as you want but this just a reminder that someone is Watching. And that one person is none other than GOD! If you have even the slightest bit of imaan left then please repent. Its never too late for Allah’s mercy. Don’

t be shaytan’s slave. Regret your actions sincerely, cry out for Allah’s forgiveness and if you are sincere enough Then for sure He will give you another chance…