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Inspiration

YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT A FAILURE

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Photo Courtesy: https://www.etsy.com

I dreamt about Maths today. And when you hear me talk about it you would think I am talking of a lover who broke my heart. The dream was dreadful that I had to force myself wake up ? The last time I had a Math exam was five years ago in high school because right after that I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH Math. I am definitely breaking up with you for good.
But guess what? Foolish Math won’t leave me alone. I keep having disturbing dreams of me being in an exam room doing a Math exam and totally being blank. When it isn’t a Math paper it is Chemistry lol. Please don’t remind me of molecules right now. So back to last night’s dream. I was back in high school, doing a Math exam and I couldn’t even remember how to calculate perimeter. Was it Length plus Width? I leave the exam room to eat chocolate ? with my high school friend; we call her Ms Wheels ? Perhaps that was to make me calm down and remember a few things. When we come back people are done with the exam and guess what?! My paper is not on my desk anymore. I couldn’t find it. Oh now this was becoming depressing. So I decided to force myself wake up. I didn’t want to see the end of it ?

Got me thinking, why do I still dream of Maths out of the MANY beautiful things in my life and in this world? It could be because I really struggled with Maths during my high school era and it was stressing that as much as I put in so much effort into it I barely improved. It was a major failure to me and perhaps that remains stuck in my sub-conscious to date and haunts me in terms of my dreams. It brings me back to the exam room where the failure happened over and over again like a nightmare. Funny thing though is that I never really assumed that the failures had such great impact on me without even noticing it. I wasn’t a complete idiot with zero but I also didn’t perform as I expected.

And I know for a fact that I am not the only one who is being haunted by a failure of the past.
Maybe you started dieting but never lost weight.
Maybe you had a business but never got profit.
Maybe you married but couldn’t save the marriage.
Maybe you didn’t win the competition.
Maybe you didn’t become a super cook as you wanted.
Maybe you didn’t make a change after all.
The maybe’s could go on and on…bottom line is: you feel you are a failure and that could be eating you up subconsciously.

One great lesson I learnt from my own experience is that: however poor you may be in one thing, you are amazingly superb in something else. Your brain can’t fail you entirely. Maybe you failed in being the master chef at your home but you could be the best teacher around.
You may not be the best footballer as you wished but you turned out to be a genius in mechanics.
You may be poor in academics but very intelligent in social and current affairs of the world.
You may have failed in being a powerful public speaker but you are too amazing as a writer.

You may not realize this immediately but failures are what make us better people in life. They make us pursue our strengths and our talents. They make us determined and passionate to be who we want to become.

When I think of my own example of Maths and Chemistry, I imagine how my life would be so different if I managed to succeed very well in them. I would have probably become a pediatrician. I wouldn’t have taken onto my dream journey of becoming a writer. I wouldn’t have explored my talents in Journalism class. I wouldn’t be having this website. You wouldn’t be reading this right now. Of course I would have found other good things on the other field but I would not be what I am today.

And you know one of the consoling things for me is that when you go into a Journalism class, 90% of us didn’t do so well in Maths and Sciences. Maybe just one or two B grades ? In my class we used to really laugh about it because even the lecturers know why we are there; one of the reasons is to totally AVOID Maths. So I learnt that it was okay to be a failure in Maths and sciences. I wasn’t alone so nothing was wrong with me after all. It IS okay. Yes we avoided what we are not good at to explore what is beyond amazing for us.

So whatever ‘failure’ you have gone through, it’s time to change the mentality. Well that includes me of course. Let’s change the name of ‘failure’ to ‘an eye-opener to my better potentials.’ Use all those low points in your life to discover what best suits you and what amazing things you can do with your brain or your hands. You are definitely not a failure. You are a genius still exploring your potentials. Keep going you will get there by God’s will.

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Creative Non-Fiction

CONCEAL; DON’T FEEL!

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Photo Courtesy: Unknown

“Conceal
Don’t feel.
Don’t let them know.”
~Frozen

When a boy notices his tendency to cry a lot or even be more emotional than expected then this is when Anna’s words become a consolation. You feel you are not alone in this; not alone in the hiding and burying. Not alone in the turning away from the inner you, the real you that wants to scream, that wants to cry, that wants to break down, that needs a hug or at least a pat on the shoulder. So you shut the doors and put a pillow on your face so that no one hears you silent cries. You lock yourself in loo and cry until you have no more tear for anyone to see or simply go mute on everyone. No one should know. You have to hide or else everyone will raise their eyebrows at you, “dude are you normal?”
“Are you straight?”?

The girls are usually the victims of this but for the few boys who are characterized as ‘sensitive’ then they definitely have a hard time.

As boys grow up they keep hearing it over and over again, ‘real men don’t cry’, ‘man up’ ‘be strong’ ‘be like a soldier or a lion…’ ‘Are you a girl to be a cry baby?’ But anyway who brought up this notion? This foolish theory that when a man cries he isn’t ‘real’ anymore? What does ‘real’ mean anyway? Does it mean that the boys who cry a lot or show their emotions have any less of the y chromosomes or perhaps they should freak out and see a psychologist whether they may be turning gay?? ?

I say it is foolish because I believe in a person who feels. It means they have extra ordinary power to connect with others. It means they love others honestly. It means they are strong enough to respect their inner self that is wounded. It means they are simply not allowing their ego to overtake their soul. It means that despite all the tears and feels, they are strong enough to admit that they are in pain and that pain needs to be let out. It means that although everyone expects them to be fierce and hard so as to be recognized as ‘strong’, they decided to have their own definition of ‘strong’. It means they are humane and feel for others. It means they are special.

Yes, they are definitely special. These cry babies are the ones who will make the best of husbands and fathers. As much as some women may argue that emotional men can’t protect them and would probably cry with them during tough situations instead of acting immediately, do remember that the Y chromosome in him still exists. He will protect you more than the man with an ego would ever do. He will protect you because he is true to you; because he won’t ever want you to get hurt especially because of him.
And hey man, if a woman ever mocks you over your emotional make-up then she is simply not worth it. If it is family or even friends then just over-look the criticisms. Sometimes you just need to ignore what people think about you.

These men you call cry babies are ones who will restore humanity whenever, simply because they feel extra ordinarily and with deep empathy for others. They are the ones who keep touching hearts and inspiring people. So if you one of them, please feel free to cry and break down and feel extensively. If the inner self is wounded and needs to bleed then please bleed if you need to. Don’t let your ego destroy your beautiful soul. Your tears are your power so use that power to make a difference. Do know that the best of mankind (men) were seen in tears and were known for their empathy and deep emotions. So never feel ashamed over who you are. Your soul is simply amazing and that; that should really make you proud 🙂

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STOP FEELING LONELY AND START BEING ALONE

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Photo Courtesy: https://afremov.com/

Loneliness usually creeps in at the most unexpected times like the surprise visitor who knocks at your door just as you switch off your lights to sleep. It could have a knock-knock on your little heart at the moment you are in the middle of a crowd as people cling their glasses with cheer and laughter or when you are in the arms of your spouse or even when you are eating with your friends as they tell jokes and crack up. You feel so far yet so near. You feel disconnected from the people around you. Sometimes it could be due to sudden changes in the closest people to us; how you and your spouse no longer share your deepest secrets, how your friends no longer remember your birthday, how your loved ones no longer have time to watch a movie with you or it could be simply due to the life transitions such as leaving for college, losing a partner to death or divorce, starting a new job, retiring and losing the daily company of colleagues and associates, or moving to a new town or country. Loneliness is the isolation that comes with nursing a feeling unreturned — an expectation unmet. It is the perpetual state of seeking that which you so crave, that which you so need. It is the putting of your key to happiness in someone else’ pocket.

The longer our loneliness lasts, that more challenging it can be to break the mindsets and judgments (both ours and others’) that contribute to maintaining our isolation.

When you are lonely, you tend to assume people aren’t interested in your company and that if you reach out to them they will reject you and turn you down. As a result you take little initiative and find excuses to turn down invitations when you do get them. Your negativity and reluctance to give your friends the benefit of the doubt creates a self-fulfilling prophecy in which your own reactions and avoidance pushes them away even further. Because you remain blind to your part in creating the distance, you see their withdrawal as confirmation of your fears and become even more convinced they no longer care about you.

On the other hand, being alone is quite the opposite. Loneliness and aloneness stand as the two pillars to the one, emotional pendulum. Loneliness for some, may be a chronic condition where your own company is never enough; where spending time with yourself may produce anxiety and sometimes worse symptoms such as panic attacks and depression. For many, the perceived solution to keep this fear away is to make sure that you are always in the company of another. Being alone is being totally okay when you are by yourself. Being happy watching a movie alone, walking at the beach shore as you enjoy the sunset, treating yourself to ice cream because you simply deserve it. You are alone, not because no one wants you in their life but because you simply love yourself and you are alone by choice. You are emotionally independent and you don’t mind if your best friend doesn’t text you for some days or even weeks. You can’t allow yourselves to be defined by the people you surround yourself with. You can’t allow yourself to be defined by your relationship status or your weekend plans or the screaming silence of your mobile phone.

Although alone and lonely are often thought of as being one in the same, alone doesn’t equal loneliness. Learning to be alone may be initially scary but once mastered serves as the cornerstone for your development and growth as a human being. There’s so much to be gained from learning to rely, and more importantly, to trust your own inner voice as the best source for your own guidance.

Loneliness may have deep effects and be the part-cause of mental disorders such as depression, social anxiety, addiction and hoarding. Therefore, addressing your loneliness could be the key to unleashing your healthy mind. And as much as someone may argue that all of us do feel lonely every once in a while, you just shouldn’t let it overwhelm you such that you become a victim of the above mentioned disorders.

Sometimes the best cure to loneliness is, in fact, to be alone. You may want to take baby steps first in stopping feeling lonely and starting to being alone such as going to a road trip by yourself, a swim, a movie or even simply a treat. Then gradually take greater steps like making your own life decisions, being independent, managing your own finances and taking full and complete control of your life.

Just know that, whichever you happen to be or feel at this exact moment, the power to maintain or change it will always be in your own hands — not in theirs, or in anyone else’s. Start making the necessary changes in your life and make yourself the best company for YOU.

REFERENCES:

psychologytoday.com
http://thoughtcatalog.com/

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BE HAPPY PLEASE

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Photo Courtesy: http://images2.fanpop.com/

The situation of our current world is just pathetic; wars, bloodshed, diseases, brutality, criminality, you name it. The list could go on forever. You look at Palestine and you feel the pinch but then you look at your own country and you find misery too, just of a different kind. If the pain, agony and sadness around the world could be painted then perhaps we would have a totally black painting with just one dot in white to represent humanity, happiness and joy. Every continent, every country, every city and every person is fighting a battle of their own. Sometimes we get too empathetic over what others are going through that we forget our own pain, our own struggles. How many times have you had a full plate of very palatable food yet your appetite betrays you with the thought, ‘children in Syria are dying with hunger, I don’t deserve this food. I don’t deserve this privilege’ and you just don’t feel like eating anymore. You look at Yemen and see another disastrous view. You look at Iraq, Nigeria, our own Kenya and you are just too helpless. Too much corruption, too much cruelty by our own leaders, too much poverty, hunger and gloom. You really really REALLY wish you could help but you just have no way. You want to go out and have fun but you see the children spread out all over the town begging and you feel, ‘how selfish am I to be happy when others are too sad, in too much anguish?’ Then it goes down to a personal level. You see that very lovely friend of yours fighting with cancer and just when you are about to do something for yourself, that punch of guilt comes in. And even when you decide to forget the entire world, you find the same grief in your own soul. Then comes the question, why is life just too distressful?

For a long while I was a victim of my own empathy but then I came to realize that truly, God never gives you pain unless that which you can handle. No, don’t say that is just a saying. This, is really true. I see my own siblings living in Yemen and they tell us of the scary nights where they can hear bombs nearby, where they can see the great infernos, the gunshots. They literally count the bombs being drop and their texts could go like, ‘they just threw the first…second…third…fourth…please pray for us…’ then they go offline. You are just left with frozen blood and you just can’t sleep till the morning to hear from them that they are okay. But they are still living!! They cook good food when they can, go to the village, shop, laugh, make jokes and despite everything else, they are grateful to be alive. They cry when they have to but they also enjoy life whenever they can. We see the examples of the Palestinians and we just admire their bravery and how strong they are; living in half houses for the other half is already down yet they are grateful for each morning. And their smiles could make you tear up. It makes you wonder, ‘how do they afford to smile with the kind of life they are living?’ But their firm faith and patience is because God has already said it that He will never over burden any of His servants. Don’t you trust God?

It’s good to be humane, to be empathetic but don’t let it take over your own life. Don’t make it neglect your own soul which needs so much care as well. Whatever problem you are going through, do know it will not last and most importantly, have faith that God will not let your grief last forever. This is your test so be patient please. Give your heart the attention you offer other people. Love yourself and have fun whenever you can. Cry when you feel like it but also don’t forget to smile and laugh. There is so much in life to look up to and anticipate. There might be too much suffering all over the world but there are also so many people who are doing great things. There are so many doctors who dedicated their lives to saving lives in war-torn areas, there are so many humanitarians helping different people, there are so many comedians dedicating their lives to make people like you smile. There are so many writers, poets, artists, photographers trying to create hope by their art. There are so many people creating a difference in other lives. Yes, even in this cruel world, there is still so much to be happy for. So never hesitate to be happy. Be happy always. Smile like you just won a lottery. Help other people like you have no problem of your own. Treat yourself to ice cream or pizza or whatever it is that you like. It doesn’t have to be your birthday or any celebration and if anyone asks you ‘what is the treat about?’ Do reply, ‘I am celebrating myself.’ I know circumstances sometimes don’t really allow you to treat yourself but you can do anything else that makes you happy; take a walk on the beach shore, paint, go for a boat ride, Swing, dance, anything! Create your own bucket list; your own personal wishes that only involve YOU and how to make YOU happy. Create it like you have just a few days in this life and live it up. Empty that bucket list. As for the rest of the world, don’t worry excessively about them. God has never forgotten His servants right? So remember them in your prayers always. Pray that God eases their battles…and yours too.

Don’t let the pain engulf you. Be patient. Appreciate life. Pray sincerely. Help others. Have Faith. Be hopeful. But most importantly, Be Happy Please 🙂

happiness2

Photo Courtesy: http://exploringpsyche.com/

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9 ESSENTIAL LESSONS I LEARNT AT THE UNIVERSITY

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Photo Courtesy: drew.edu

On the day of my graduation, I met a university colleague just outside the compound while I was still in my gown. She congratulated me before asking what I had gotten in my results. The moment I told her it was a first class honors, she jumped with excitement and exclaimed, ‘eish!! First class na huringi?!!’ I laughed at this yet it made me wonder, what do people exactly expect from you after getting first class? Walk with head held very high and maybe start glaring at people from head to toe or write it on all walls, chant it like it is a magic spell, stop strangers on the road and tell them about my result or perhaps wear a placard that says ‘I have a first class’?? 😀
My classmate later on asked me what my feeling was for my achievement and I said, ‘I am just grateful and happy’ then when she realized how it wasn’t such a big deal for me she went on, ‘Ah you are a genius that’s why.’ Lol again, no, I was never a genius. I very well remember getting 7/30 in my CATS, getting a few C’s in my final exams, panicking like a freak just before ALL my exams for not having read enough, without forgetting those assignments I terribly failed and literally had to ask the lecturers to make me understand how they were awarding marks. And no, I never cheated in my exams to get my first class. Perhaps this is where we say, ‘where there is a will there is a way.’ Sometimes, no I mean always, all you gotta do is work hard and put your entire faith in God with the belief that He will never let you fail when you have done your very best.

So a pal who is still in university requested that I write about how one can work through challenges in university; both in academics and social life and the laziness, so as to get first class. Perhaps he too thought I am among the nerds who used to trans-night to study while my legs shoved in cold water and a very large cup of coffee beside me to keep me awake. Well, there is no single night I stayed awake throughout just to read nor was I in the library 24/7 exploring all the books in there. I believe so many factors are to be considered here; like what course you are taking, your IQ, your suitable studying technique and your social circle in university. As much as I made it through, there are a few things I wish I had been told, advised and warned about university life before hand that would have made it an easier path to walk through.

But even before we start on the topic, I’d like to re-tell what one of my lecturers said during his first class. ‘When you finish university, you leave with one of these four things: your certificate, real life-long friends, a spouse/partner or a baby/AIDS. Sometimes you leave with more than one and sometimes you leave with none. You decide what you want to have’ Perhaps this was the best advice we got as starters for we realized the importance of being focused from the very first time you join university.

1. There is difference between hard work and being a genius: Something very important for you as a student is to know where you lie in the IQ chart. Some people are geniuses, some are just hard working while some, are a powerful combination of the two. Well, unfortunately not all of us are born geniuses and we had to struggle to get to our goals. DO NOT compare yourself with someone else and DO NOT imitate their studying styles. I very well remember my only other mate who got a first class like me would not start a 10 paged assignment until the night before and he would still score very well or sometimes better than all of us mashallah while someone like me would start the same assignment two weeks ago and still get the same marks like him. To top it up, even while doing his work overnight, he would still do it comfortably with no fuss or worry while I would still be panicking to the very last second before submitting my work. SO do not look around and comfort your poor soul that so and so too hasn’t started his/her work. ‘I am not alone.’ No buddy, you are very much alone. You are on your own in this so know where you stand in the IQ list and how to do your work in the best way possible. And perhaps you already know that you are not a genius and need to work extra hard and just taking it easy. Well, you can forget about the first class then.
P.S. Even the geniuses have to put in effort to succeed, only that the amount of effort is what differs with each individual.

2. Studying style also differs with different people: Some students have to regularly re-read the same topics again and again before grasping it, some can just read a topic once and that is enough to make them get the A’s, some can just listen to the teacher keenly and that’s it, some need to listen to the teacher and also read a bit, some can stay without ever attending class but still study on their own and still succeed, some work best with cramming, some just have to trans-night before the exam day and they are good to go, some entirely depend on cheating while some have to do a combination of ALL the mentioned; read, re-read, listen to the teacher, cram, trans-night every night and cheat on top of it so as to succeed. Well cheating is really never going to get you anywhere because as far as you get in life, the effects of the cheating will appear in the shoddy work you will do in your job. So get to know what studying style suits your IQ and your course of course (as explained below).

3. Your studying style should consider your course: Of course the studying style for a medicine or architectural student can not be the same with the one for an art student. This is because the level of academic pressure differs to far extents. For other courses, theory is much more while in others, it is the practicals. Like for the journalism course that I was taking, our theory notes were just countable pages yet most units needed practical projects, assignments and exams. So you get to know where to put your greater focus on and as you’ve noticed all these 3 points inter-connect i.e. your IQ, your studying style and your course come hand in hand.

4. When the lecturer asks whether you want group work, be the first one to scream a ‘NO’ If possible, take a speaker and shout it out. Write it on the board in Red, Bold and Capital letters. Not unless you are one of those who like taking advantage of group work, you will totally agree with me that group work is annoying, irritating, time wasting and most of the time all the pile of work ends up being done by one or two people. To make it worse, sometimes you end up submitting very messy disorganized work done last minute. Well, sometimes you get lucky and get great partners to work with but still, it is very rare to get all your group mates being cooperative. You won’t miss one or two who will just mess all of you up. Another mistake most students do is getting into the same groups with their friends with the thought that they can work best together. Well, not unless your friends are very focused people, you guys might just end up chatting and laughing, everyone waiting for the other to start the work until it is too late and you just decide to write up anything for the lecturer. You need to know you are in university alone and you will leave alone and all these small works given to you matter in your end result so take everything seriously from the start.

5. Be part of the society but not necessarily part of the group: In universities we don’t miss to have groups in our classes. I don’t mean the red cross groups and religious groups or so, I mean ‘the birds of a feather flocking together’; the group of friends who hang out together of which most of the times they meet for less constructive issues or we can call them the informal groups. Well, it always feels nice to be part of a group but sometimes, peer pressure comes in. You start skiving classes, doing things you would never have thought of doing, not doing assignments etc. But there is also another problem of being part of a group. Usually social groups never miss to have opponents or rather, another group that just agree on how the other is. These differences usually lead to spoken and sometimes unspoken hot wind of hatred between the two or more groups. Differences could be of social class, academics performance, behavioural differences or even political. Trust me, in university, you don’t really want to be part of a particular group because if there is any place you need to have good connections with people, it is university. Especially if you are living far from home; in hostels, you need the strong network with different people including the non-staff; the gate man, the cook, the cleaners. You just never know when you will get into trouble and need someone to help you. And don’t say I can never get into trouble. Sometimes you just need assistance especially in our Kenyan universities, you struggle a lot if you don’t have connections in the administration offices i.e. the clerks, financial managers, PR etc You could need assistance in your projects and assignments from an IT guy or an engineering student or perhaps the graphic designer to design you a poster for the school elections; could be anything really. So be part of the general society; help others, laugh with all sorts of people, connect with people, appreciate them even when you have personal differences with them and hang out with them when you can but don’t directly associate yourself with one social group only. It usually has its consequences; could be positive but most of the times it is negative. Well, as for the introverts, you don’t really have to excessively connect with people. A simple hi with a smile every time you meet different people is enough.

6. Your assignments and projects are your trump card: Never underestimate the value of your CATS, assignments and projects. Not unless you are among the ones who just want a certificate doesn’t matter what grade it is so long as it’s not a fail, you need to take every of these seriously. Because in the very end of your study,all your points in every step of your academic life do count to make up the final result.

7. Discipline Well, who doesn’t know about discipline? We have been hearing about it our entire school lives. Remember the lecturers do consider your discipline even when awarding you with first class. Being arrogant just because you perform well won’t take you anywhere far. How many times have we heard of students failing just because they had an argument with a teacher and they ended up being in their bad books? Perhaps that is the bad thing about university, your entire career life is in their hands by how they award you marks. Some are fair, some just fail you the moment you step on their toe. So be careful; respect your lecturers, your mates, be timely and meet the deadlines as required. By doing this the lecturer doesn’t gain anything, you are the one gaining here.

8. Laziness and Procrastination: Ironically, we have been going to primary and secondary school as from 6 or 6:30 in the morning. We have been having more than 6 subjects per day with few minutes or an hour for a break, yet we are too lazy to wake up early for the university class that starts at 8 and ends at 11. Or too lazy to do an assignment that was given to you two weeks ago yet you previously used to do 3 assignments per day. I think this comes almost automatically to all university students. Wonder why? Nonetheless, this should give a reason to be more determined and focused, ‘if I could wake up so early for a full day in school then why not for just 3 hours or 6?’ Well, some courses are more demanding like medicine where they have to be in class full day but then still, you chose the course yourself; this is your goal and your dream so go for it. Getting A in secondary/High school doesn’t count anymore when you get to university. The challenges in university are many especially on the peer pressure. If you are not careful you can easily drop out. The tables do turn and your hard work is all that matters. Personally I had a B- in secondary school and still got first class. And I am not the first nor the last to have done that. The vice versa has also happened. Very bright students who unexpectedly failed their finals while some didn’t even get half -way through the years. So don’t be relaxed that you are a genius who got straight A’s in secondary, this is a totally different life and experience where you got to work hard to get to your goals. Stop procrastinating and start doing something now.

9. You have to be your own master: If you let friends divert you then you will definitely get distracted from what brought you to the university. You skive classes with someone who can very well succeed without the lecturer’s directions while you really need extra elaborations to understand the lesson, what are you doing to yourself friend? You waste your studying time with rich friends who can afford to join any other university or course when they fail, but are you sure your parents can do the same to you when you fail? Do you really want to put them through such trouble? You don’t do assignments because your friends didn’t and take CATS jokingly because your friends can depend on the exams only to pass? Again, remember each person has their own IQ and own studying style that suits them best. So instead of just blindly following the flock, know when is the right time to hang out with friends and the time to really get serious with your studies. You went there alone and will leave alone. This is your future entirely in your hands therefore be your own master.

Finally, I’d like to wish you well as you go through this rough, tough road of university life yet filled with so many beautiful memories. Set your goals and be focused. Know which of the 4 things you want to leave the university premises with. But again, remember, Nothing comes easy. Nothing comes on a silver platter.

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WORTHWHILE AMBITIONS

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Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

By: Swaleh Arif Sayyid Ali

We spend a lot of time plotting
We spend a lot of time planning
But you should ask yourself
In the end
Will it be worth it?

I’ll begin with a little story. I was in a matatu that was taking me to kisauni one day, and there was this man riding shotgun (that’s the seat next to the driver by the way). He was chatting with another person and he said, “Poa bro, tutaonana kesho. Lakini kesho ni ya Mungu kwa hivyo huwezi jua”. The weight of those words struck me so hard that I immediately started feeling ashamed of myself. Here’s a man, who to most people is probably a nobody, saying something so profound and so true that it made me wonder who really is wise and who really is ignorant in these troubling times. The shame that I felt was because I kept forgetting that death is closer to us than we think.

We, as human beings, are ambitious in nature. We were designed to want to achieve something. It can be anything really, be it money, fame, general popularity, that Adonis physique that most men and women crave for and so forth. There’s nothing wrong with ambition, nothing wrong at all. What’s wrong is what you’re ambitious for. The worst kind of ambition is the ambition that is self-serving and derogatory in nature, whereas the best kind is the one that is selfless and benign in nature. A prime example of a person with selfless and benign ambitions was our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). I don’t need to elaborate on what he achieved and what he’s still achieving.
No one knows when they’ll die, that’s obvious. So why plan for something that is selfish and pointless, if there’s every chance you’ll drop dead the next second? Wouldn’t it be futile in the end? I think this year is the year where a lot of us have witnessed young people with bright futures have their mortal coils severed. So if you’re going to be ambitious, be ambitious for something greater than yourself. Be ambitious for something that will benefit your family, community and the entire world, if possible. Then again, nothing is impossible before the eyes of The Almighty. Aspire to build schools, free hospitals, sports and other recreational centers that will distract the young generation from the temptation of drugs and other destructive vices. And what’s so amazing and beautiful about this, is that in case your life is cut short and you never managed to serve your ambitions, you’ll still be rewarded by Allah because of the good intentions you had with everyone.

But remember, no man is an island. Find like-minded individuals who are working towards the same goal and achieve all that you could not accomplish on your own.

As I conclude my piece, my advice to you, dear reader, is this: make sure the seeds that you sow in this life, will grow into something healthy and beautiful, ready for reaping in the next.

Aspire to inspire.

And Allah knows best.

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Creative Non-Fiction

HEROISM VS NARCISSISM

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Photo Courtesy: Mc’Lopez

In a world where everyone believes they are a star, a legend and a hero, be rational enough to yourself. Accept yourself as you are; without exaggerating your own existence. Yes, you ARE special. Always remember that…but never forget that you are not any more special than anyone else. Don’t raise your nose and walk with arrogance, believing you are thee best; like no one is better than you.

Taking a hundred selfies, getting 200 or 1000 likes, having the most followers on snapchat and instagram does not define your self worth. Neither do these photos portray self love.

You only become a legend by creating a difference, by leaving footsteps in other people’s lives; by being yourself. Do not be a slave of society love and fame because if that’s what matters to you, do know your time of fame is quickly running out and someone else will soon be ‘thee new star’. For all that I’ve ever known, no star ever labeled themselves that name. They were recognized for their impact and their achievements and not by their show off. So don’t get ahead of yourself. If you believe you are a genius, then do know you are not the first one to exist nor will you be the last. The same thing with anything else that you are good at; be it sports, talent, academics…you name it!

Many people confuse egocentrism and narcissism as self love. And as much as the current world encourages people to love themselves, the whole idea of it shouldn’t get to your head. There lived so many legends who were not appreciated until their death while there lived people with immoral ideas yet they have been made our idols.

Times are quickly changing and most of us have been enchanted by what we see on social media; people sharing their naked photos, egoistic posts and underrating of everyone else in the name of self love. And sadly enough, we are made to believe that it is very okay to be narcissistic and to consider everyone below us. So whilst the villain also considers himself a hero in his own mind, be brave enough to balance your self esteem and self love without letting your ego take over your thoughts.

My idea of heroism has always been the same as what Ellen Goodman said: “I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference.”

Always remember that what you do; the smallest bits of kindness and humbleness that you give to the world is what makes you rather extra-ordinary. So even when the whole world thinks you are a nobody, do know that for someone out there, you are their biggest hope and their light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ll end this by this remarkable quote that very clearly draws the picture and summarizes this whole article in a few words:
“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” – Arthur Ashe

Keep leaving footsteps wherever you go!

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Inspiration

BE YOUR OWN ANCHOR

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I usually see so many inspirational books looking all glittery and attractive on the shelves in bookshops and by the street sides. Personally, as a writer, that’s an appealing view. I have read several such books and being an inspirational writer has always been in my goal list.

I remember once a friend sent me the book, ‘how to stop worrying and start living’ because of my paranoic and hysteric behaviour. When I was done reading it, I was so anxious to start working on myself, follow the advised tips and really stop worrying and start living. I tried my best to keep track of my life in relation to what I learnt from this and the other books I had read but with time laziness overcame me. Actually these books need a very dedicated person who is really willing to accept changes and to be keen in their lives; something I’m not really good at all.

If I can give it a wild guess, probably only 3 out of 10 people who read such books follow the tips fully. The rest of us follow only for a week, maybe a month or two. But my belief is that, if a person is able to continue with this routine for six months then they’ve made it.

Writing an inspirational book can be an easy way to earn money because people have been made to believe that what the inspirational speakers say is the only light in your very dark tunnel. My own realization is that words are but a consolation to the soul. They make you feel understood. They give you the illusionary shoulder you couldn’t get elsewhere. They give you hope when you have none. But the moment you close that book, all those words can’t help you much. You have to realize that it is your own will power that actually makes you seek happiness and love. You have to know that Zig Ziglar, Robin Sharma, Ben Carson or whoever else you read are just but an eye opener and a guide on how to deal with what you don’t want to admit is within you. Read these books; read them as much as you can if words are what are making you wake up with a wider smile each day. They actually make you wiser and more open minded…oh, and probably improve your grammar as well 🙂

Nonetheless, you also have to take note that none of these words will ever heal your wounds, or pick you up the floor, or make your life to miraculously become better. Everything is within you; only YOU have the power to wipe your tears, fight your fears and keep seeking your dreams. No one should lie to you that a book or a speaker changed their lives; they were just but a push for them to stand up once again. You have all the power in the world. You just have to realize it.

Sweetheart, be your own anchor!

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LOOKING BEYOND THE IMPERFECTIONS

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The best thing about imperfections is that they make us who we are and they always make us stronger and braver than before. The silly mistakes we make at work, at school, at home or with our friends don’t mean we are stupid or useless as some of us may think. Man is to error and no one is perfect however successful or perfect they may look in your eyes.
Even the most successful and popular personalities, failed or had low points at some period. But what made them what they are today is their hard work and passion to go beyond those failures and imperfections. It is that effort they made to be better people that got them recognized as achievers.
Losing hope and giving up at the first sign of failure just shows how weak a person is. If everyone gave up at the first sign of hardship, then we definitely wouldn’t have achievers. Sometimes, failure tests our faith and amount of trust we have in ourselves. We have to be the kind of people who don’t have to regret later on that we didn’t work hard enough to get to our goals. We have to keep on trying again and again until we finally get to the peak of the mountain and we can finally shout “Yes! I am finally here.”
One may say to themselves “I tried and tried and tried, again and again, but I didn’t succeed, so what is the point?” The thing is, maybe you didn’t really try in the best way possible or maybe you gave up too early or maybe you were simply pursuing the wrong goal. Wanting to be a doctor while you are very poor in sciences, or going for an accountancy course while mathematics twists you upside down, or opening a new restaurant in an area where all hotels are closing, may be the reason why you failed.

Instead of giving up hope, sometimes you just need to refocus. After you’ve tried your level best and still haven’t succeeded, why not focus on your strengths or review your game-plan? Everyone is good at something and even if you haven’t realized then do know you have a gift. You just have to discover it.

To minimize the risk of failure it is important to carefully consider your goals and plans. Think long and hard before undertaking any major project. Consider the following questions: ‘do I have what I need to make it?’, ‘Is this what I really want?’, and ‘Is this the best use of my skills and resources?’ but most importantly, ‘am I being realistic?’ after you’ve sat down and asked yourself such questions, then this is where you bring in all your effort, passion, hard work, zeal and focus to make your dreams and goals come true.

But remember; don’t mind the mistakes or failures. Learn from them and make yourself a better person from your imperfections. As the famous American author, Zig Ziglar once said, if you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost.

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BECAUSE YOU ARE BETTER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE

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Have you ever stood by the mirror and looked beyond your own reflection? Beyond that familiar face that you give the whole world; into your naked soul. Have a peep at that disappointed inner you, at the broken you, the angry you, the frustrated you, the sad you that is hidden in a totally different outer personality; the scared you that is covered by the ruthless you, the broken you that is covered by the arrogant you and many more of such. Most of us tend to be so due to the environment we grew up in and sometimes it could be of the hard and difficult situations that we went through in our lives. We tend to act strong while with people, forcing the smiles and pushing back the tears yet it is the darkness within us that makes us unbearable and sometimes insensitive.

 We all concentrate too much on how we look on the outer. We are all trying to impress the world of what we are and what we have yet we forget of our inner self that we’ve neglected for years. It is okay to be broken, to be imperfect, to be at wrong because it is just part of being human, so accept what you have inside you and learn to walk out of the darkness you are in. Learn the chemistry of your heart; what you really want rather than what you want to show the world.

Hatred only breeds more darkness; it is only love that brings you back to light once again. We all need a hand to pull us out of the darkness; could be a friend, a spouse, a parent or even a mentor. We all need a helping hand to show us the sunlight during the hard times of our lives. But nonetheless, the reality is that not always will we have a person to show that we are better than we think we are. Not always will we have a person who believes in our ability to light the world even with the mistakes done and our flaws but when you try create happiness in another person’s life or help them come out from their own darkness, you will eventually find your own way to light and finally find the inner peace.

Truly, you are just what you think about yourself. If you explore into your deeper inner self, if you fill your small world with your own light and thus lighting and colouring the lives of the people around you, if you believe that you can be better then you will be exactly that. Fill your heart with positive illusions about yourself, with time they will become your reality. Because you know it more than anyone else; You Are Better Than You Think You Are.

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