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A mother is one of the most important gifts we have in our lives and truth is no one could ever take her place in our hearts or our lives generally. Washington Irving once said ‘A mother is the truest friend we have when trials; heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.’ And what is even more interesting is what Mitch Albom had to say about this is that ‘but there’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where you begin.’ However much different opinions, ideas or prospects we have from our mothers, there is nothing worse in this life than losing a mother.

When such a tragedy like losing or getting separated to your mother befalls anyone especially a child or a teenager most of us give up on life, get depressed too much and have so much negativity and bitterness towards life but what can be more stressing to a child is having the knowledge that they are going to have a step mother. Most of us have grown up hearing the fairy tale stories of step mothers whereby they are depicted like the witches in disguise; those so evil monsters in a human costume with long terrifying nails ready to kill us at any moment. And that is the picture most children have grown up with towards step mothers which makes them automatically have a negative attitude towards her even before meeting or getting to know her well.

Well, no one could ever deny that it really takes a beautiful heart to be ready to take care of her husband’s children with good heart and humility like they are her own children. We’ve heard so many stories in news of how children have been mistreated by their step mothers; some got burnt, some beaten up heavily for no good reason, some over worked, and some are used for illegalities while some are denied golden opportunities like basic education and food especially in the absence of the father. That was never the end of it. We’ve also heard of the step parents sodomizing the children, raping them and worst yet, leading to their death. It is so sad how much inhuman and ruthless step mothers can be but what many don’t know of is that we can never miss one good person in every ten people. Good step mothers do exist and what is even more interesting is that they sometimes give better treatment to the children more than the real mothers.

There are women with such golden hearts that are incomparable. They give the step children so much love and care such that a stranger would never know that she isn’t the real mother. And it is in circumstances like these that you find that it is actually the step children now, who are giving a rough and hard time to the step mother. It is true, it is never easy for anyone to imagine having another mother but we should understand that this isn’t a competition. No one could ever replace our mothers but maybe we should make space for other worthy people in our lives. So long as she is treating you good then giving her a hard time is just unnecessary.

Yet still, it is not only the step mother who has been convicted with such devilish crimes but step fathers too and even real parents have had cases of mistreating their own children. Therefore, it is high time we changed our theories and beliefs that are so stuck in our minds and give chance and space for reality to prove itself. No one wishes that their mother dies or parents separate and no one wishes to have a step mother or even a step father, but when circumstances force one into our lives then let us learn to accept them in our lives. She may not be like the real mother but she may just be like your guardian angel. Accepting such changes is important because it makes us move on at our own pace in life.

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Author

A freelance writer, journalist, poet and blogger venturing mainly in social and community issues, study and analysis of behaviour and life, and the plight of the under-dogs in the society. 'I feed on human stories.'

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