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The only thing I constantly dream and anticipate of my future, is to be a mother. Not just any kind of a mother; a very dedicated one. I live for that. And I hope that God makes it come true. Ameen. I don’t know what it feels like to lose a child or to be in marriage and await for children, but I can only imagine and pray that God doesn’t test me with that and to grant those who are still having faith and praying for a miracle, a good offspring.

This is a rather special post for me because here, I narrate two different stories of two different individuals who lost their children. This gave me a heart ache but I do realize the need for people to hear other people’s stories; to appreciate their own journeys and to be patient in whatever they are going through. It is not going to be an easy read. Take heart and know that if you are/were in this same journey, you are never alone.

***A PREVIOUS NARRATION BY A DAD WHO LOST HIS FOUR UNBORN BABIES***

“Not many have the courage to speak about their disappointments in life, it hurts to lose people you love but it hurts more to lose people you expect and they don’t materialize. As we celebrate my 29th birthday, so do we celebrate the lose of our four unborn kids that never even had a chance to have a breadth of life through miscarriages. It’s the most devastating and disappointing event that has ever met our lives, and the worst of it all, the doctors can’t explain the cause of the miscarriages even after spending chunks of bills for tests and medication.

Recently, Mark Zuckerberg posted his experience with miscarriages and now expecting a baby girl, this is reassuring that there’s calm after storm. The comments and replies the post received were amazing, I came to learn that as I find it difficult having lost four babies, many other families have lost more than ten before they finally got a baby or more thereafter. And the least pleasing fact is that a huge number of couples have not even had the experience of the miscarriage itself let alone having a baby and passes on after successful birth.

Allah SW provides to His subjects what they need and not what they want, for what they want may not be beneficial to them or rather harmful in their lives and religion. For as much as we don’t know is in store for us by destiny, we shouldn’t stop trying and exploring available halaal ways of finding solutions to this problem. Allah has given mankind brains and resources to find solutions for such medical conditions, and the best of the mankind are those that are patient and those who depend on Allah for their lives and their hereafter.

The miscarriages issue has come with it many disappointing and devastating events. Young couples divorcing, wrangles in families and lack of happiness in homes. Yet the problem may be a medical condition that is treatable or may be chromosomal that is not, but in the long run, couples must remember it’s Allah SW who decides who gets what and when and in what form, so it’s not upon you to question the deity. The best of your response should be to thank and remember Allah SW during all moments. Allah tests His subjects both in hardship and pleasure, so the have are no better than the have not. Children come with responsibilities, so for the one who have, it’s also a great challenge for them too since the responsibility comes even harder for who they become is a reflection of what their parents are!. Lastly, as I pay tributes to the gone babies of ours, we missed you though we never had the chance to hold you in our arms, perhaps the right time hasn’t come. Or may be, better babies are yet to come. We shall always remember you and cherish the feeling of your few weeks with us. You gave us a lot of hope and joy but Allah Has the better plans for them and the many that have gone before and after you.”

***A NARRATION BY A MOTHER WHO LOST HER SON***

“Two months into my marriage, I was already pregnant. There was excitement in the house. It’s every woman’s dream; any couple’s dream and mine was finally going to come true. I was happy and counting down of the nine months began. Then one day we went out with my husband to a hotel at Diani and I hit myself at the abdomen with the swimming pool slide. The complications started right after that. My abdomen started aching and all the hospitals I went to, I was told nothing is wrong, the baby was fine but I should have bed rest. My scans were clear too.

By then I had already resigned from my workplace so as to take care of my health. Nonetheless, I got better and I applied for another job of which I was accepted. On the same day that I reported to work, I started feeling unwell and had to ask for permission to go see the doctor. By the time I got to the ferry, all I was seeing was black. I went and held a pole nearby to support myself as I tried to regain my strength. Two ladies came to me and asked if everything was okay. When they noticed I was pregnant and helpless, each of them held one arm and helped me board the ferry. I was still feeling nauseated and I started throwing up. The two ladies noticed I was vomiting red they thought it was blood although it was because I was from eating watermelons. That worried them and a nurse came to their rescue. I couldn’t clarify it wasn’t blood because I could barely open my mouth. So the lady nurse came to us and decided to carry me. Since they considered it an emergency case, the ferry immediately left to take me to the other side where my husband was waiting for me.

After the three ladies got me to my husband, I went for check-up, the doctor insisted that this time round I should have a bed rest for one whole month. As such, my husband had to go to my new workplace and inform them that I can’t make it.

My grandma decided to take me with her, to ease it for my husband since he has to go to work. But then one day, the pain revisited my body, this time more painful than ever. Nearby, there was a mid-wife so we went to her and she gave me a massage. I was told that the baby was leaning on my abdomen and thus the pain. But the massage was like adding charcoal to the fire. I had to be rushed to the nearest hospital which was Coast General and was told that my baby’s path was already open. I was about to give birth. At six months.

The nurses injected me and prepared me for birth. It was going to be a pre-mature birth and chances of survival was 50-50. But we were hopeful and I had faith. All my relatives were told to wait outside the ward. I still had some time before I could give birth, so the nurse left me alone. But then the bone-breaking pain came and I was confused. It was my first time, with absolutely no idea how things work. I just pulled off my hijab, kept it under my thighs and started pushing and pushing…extreme pain, sweat…then black…

“Ah! She has given birth already!” I could hear the nurses calling out from afar. “Ma’am, ma’am…do you know that you have already given birth?’

I didn’t know,but I just nodded. I checked the time, it was almost 1 hour 45 minutes later since I started giving birth and lost my consciousness. There was frantic movement for some time. Then cleaning me up, then cutting of the umbilical cord. One nurse then came to me, ‘Ma’am, you gave birth to a baby boy…but i’m sorry, he passed…Do you want to see him?”

I said no. I requested for my family instead. My aunt who raised me came in with my mother in law. They found me crying. I could now feel the emptiness in me; in my heart, in my stomach.

“Have you seen your son?” My aunt asked as she went on consoling me. When I said no, she insisted I should, “This is your son and you are never going to see him again. So take heart and hold him and kiss him. Be strong.”

And I bid farewell to my son; my only child, my only flesh. For a long time, I was never going to forget that moment.

Almost two weeks after giving birth, the abdomen pain struck again. It was too painful. I went to see my gynecologist and after yet another scan, they noticed a leakage, though they couldn’t tell where it was from until I was operated on. The assumption was that it was bacterial infection from the post-birth. So the next morning, first thing I was taken for the surgery. After being cut, is when my gyno, another general doctor and a nurse realized that my appendix had ruptured. There was a lot of pus inside and the baby had been drinking that. But my situation freaked them out. They had never handled such a case so they called another fellow doctor who directed them what to do. When they were done, four hours later, they called in for another nurse to take me to my room and they disappeared through the back door.

My family followed me to the room with worry, but the doctors were nowhere to be seen. One hour later is when my gyno appeared. Upon being asked where he was he said, “In my entire 20 years in this career, i’ve never seen such a thing and i’ve never had such a surgery.” They had removed 3 liters of pus from the leakage and some pus was still left. While I was about to leave the hospital, my nurse asked to have a private word with me and said, “My dear, if you ever feel the need to cry, then cry. No one should tell you you have to be strong. Let it out. Scream, shout, do whatever will make you feel better but don’t let it eat you up inside.” And that was it. Weeks after that I was still going to the hospital to have some more pus removed. You can’t imagine the pain. Both the physical and mostly the emotional torment.

Months later, I went for my final check-up and I met my gyno and he said, “Has anyone ever told you that God is great? That was a very risky operation, I have never been that scared in my life. I never even imagined you’d get up and be well again…Your baby saved you. He was drinking the pus which was poisonous all along. Hadn’t you given birth to him, we wouldn’t have known of the leakage…” He then quickly summoned for the other doctor who had operated on me to come into the office.

“You remember this lady?” My gyno asked his fellow doctor.
“How can I forget this girl…” Looking at me, “When we did your operation, I asked doctor here, can I just cry for this girl? I went home that evening and told my children, ‘before you sleep, there is a special patient at my hospital, we have to pray for her condition. You are a very strong lady!”I just nodded with a smile.

It was such a rough time. For months after that, I cried. I had a difficult time whenever i’d see relatives and friends with their children. My husband and I had to move to a different house to avoid the questions and the despair. For years after that we were still praying and hoping for another baby…but nothing happened. It got to a point I told my husband he can marry another woman if he willed. I was broken. But he was supportive and still is. I remember when I told him about marrying another woman he said, “Say audhubillah. Go take ablution and pray two rakaats to your Lord…” It’s been five years since we got married. We still don’t have a child. It may be a hard test but as my husband always reminds me, “God doesn’t give you except what you can handle…and maybe, He is preventing some harm into our lives by all this.” When you ask my husband about our gone son he would say, “I did not only have a son, but an angel who saved the life of my wife and gave up his own. He was our hero!”

I have faith in God and I still pray for what is best for us. Yet I have this beautiful memory of my son for I gave birth to him, I felt him and I experienced labour pain.”

****

All I know about this life is that it wasn’t meant to be heaven. You will be tested; in one way or another. He will give you wealth but test you with lack of health. He will give you children but test you with a difficult spouse. He will give you health but with lack of children. He will give you wealth but you will be tested with early death of parents. Everyone, and I mean, EVERYONE, is fighting some kind of battle. Even those happy people you see spending money and acting all classy like they got it all…they also have something missing in their lives. It’s pretty much difficult for everyone in this life, but we need to pass these tests. We need to believe that God knows what is best for us, He knows the answers to your questions, He knows why He gave you this instead of that…We need to be patient and strong. We need to have faith that God only gives us what we can absolutely conquer. So whatever you are going through right now, soldier on.

I pray that Allah grants children to all those who’ve been waiting; a good, pious, healthy offspring that will be close to Allah. May Allah grant you higher reward for your patience and grant you strength in all stages of life. Ameen!

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We are in the 21st century and majority of the youth are either in love, in a relationship, married, confused or totally lost. This is one of the worst realities of us; the current era youth. Whereas at our age, our parents and grandparents could not dare court a girl, or at least make it public; nowadays that is the trend and actually without it, you are considered out of fashion or old fashioned. This whole ideology of love is actually what branches to a lot of other fitnah like zinah, sometimes drinking, clubbing and drugs, sometimes rebellion against parents and much more. We as the youth have revolutionized the concept of love; some have commercialized it and some have made it seem the filthiest word on earth yet love was originally pure in its earliest form whereby love meant respect to oneself, respect to the girl, respect to the parents of the girl and even respect to the whole world evolving around her. Love originally meant taking the main path to her parent’s house and knock at the door but now the youth decide to take on the short cut and sneak out the girl from her home via the window. This is where all immorality begins and all principles are broken. The youth however have their own many ways of justifying dating and all the impunity related with it, with the Western justification of ‘You Only Live Once’ (YOLO) quickly forgetting the promises God has kept for us for the hereafter. Nonetheless, we can never refute the reality of existence of love. As much as it is controllable, it is, most of the times, unavoidable. But actually the problem of the youth isn’t love but how to deal with it. When a young person goes to their parents and confesses about their love to a particular person, most parents immediately camouflage and become annoyed at the words of their children especially when it is a girl. Our society has made it seem that it is totally okay for a young man to actually talk to his parents about a girl he loves even when he is still very young for the responsibility of marriage. Parents would listen to him and advice him on waiting and all that but now, change the picture, let the girl of the same family same say the same words to her parents and they would be angry and never trust her again etcetera etcetera. The reality is, it has already happened; parents should actually appreciate that their daughter or son didn’t take action in his/her own hands but instead approached them so they can help her out. It is high time parents realized that the technology world is ruining us and that they need to have more of these heart to heart talks with their young ones. When parents keep it formal with their children without finding wise ways of teaching them how to teach them deal with adolescence and peer pressure, that’s when the youth explore the world themselves; totally submerged into the world of fantasy and forever love and dating and all that they see on televisions, internet and social media. This just shows the importance of parents giving room to their children to talk and express themselves freely; this actually saves a lot of trouble onwards. Khadija, Peace Be upon Her was the one who requested for the prophet to marry her, even though she was much older. It is no shame when a girl asks for her parents to do the same for her. The shame would be when we don’t teach our children how to deal with their emotions and what are the limits that should not be crossed.

However, another sad reality is that some parents don’t care or simply don’t mind when they see their sons taking out girls for dates or when they see their daughters preparing to go out; our own parents, who are supposed to be our role models, are drowning along with us.

So in this era of fitnah, the few responsible ones decide to marry early so as to avoid falling in sin. Yet still, even as they marry, they still have the corrupted Westernized ideology of marriage and take marriage like the dating life they see their pals going through and this is how we have several young people are getting divorced as fast as they got married. However, for others who approach their parents so as to marry, their parents tell them it’s too early and that they should wait until they are more responsible or done with studies etcetera; which is true, but nonetheless, the parents fail to realize that stopping their children from marrying or getting married when they want to, may lead to zinah. This is why the prophet p.b.u.h. said that whoever amongst us can marry then they should do so and this is because he knew the amount of fitnah the young people have to deal with.

Our religious leaders have the greater duty as much as parents to help and advice young people on how to deal with adolescence and peer pressure. Most sheikhs actually give lectures about these issues but they rarely give solutions; in fact many just criticize the actions of the youth which in return make them become even more rebellious towards the rulings of deen. Sheikhs have to choose a more gentle approach on how to advise the youth but most importantly, show and teach how to deal with this kind of fitnah Islamically. They have to bring themselves down to their level and talk the same language as we the youth do so that there can be more understanding between the two parties.

The Muslim lady in her hijab is the queen of Islam; the image portraying the identity of Islam, she is mother of tomorrow and the daughter of today. Society has always had this misconception that being a Muslim lady means getting married, having children and taking care of your family, which is totally true. Nonetheless, it is sad that the society is against the idea that a Muslim lady should have dreams or ambitions. It is rather puzzling that the society has the belief that when a Muslim lady is attached to her deen, then she wouldn’t bother venture into the world of knowledge and working and creating change but would just be confined to her husband, children and home. Again, the society have the belief that when a Muslim lady ventures into the world of work, then she is not really attached to her deen which is also totally so wrong. It is by this that a lady with dreams is often found in a tag of war between two worlds; the world evolving her deen and her career. And many would ask this question, ‘how do you balance the two; how do you balance your career and your deen?’ Many think that in order to be an ambitious career lady with dreams then you have to give up your deen and vice versa; which is what challenges the Muslim lady. In the career world, colleagues expect the Muslim lady to dress trendily or shake hands with non mahrams etcetera while in the Islamic world, she is expected to only concentrate in her home and family affairs only. Yet they forget how the sahabiyaat; Aishah, Fatima, Khadija peace be upon them, amongst others were active in all societal issues. Khadijah peace be upon her was a very successful business woman, Aishah peace be upon her was known for her knowledge of deen and memorization of ahadith. She, together with Aishah, Umm Salim and Umm Salit were proficient at nursing the wounded. Different sahabiyat accompanied the prophet peace be upon him on his military expeditions and took part in battles both on land and at sea. Asma’ bint Umais was famous for interpretation of dreams while Asma’ bint Yazid was an expert in making speeches. Khawlah, Maleekah, Thaqafiyah and Bint Fakhariyah used to trade in the oriental oil-based perfumes known as ‘itar (As explained in the book ‘Great Women of Islam by Mahmood Ahmad Ghadanfar). These are but a few of the Sahabiyat; there are many more who took part in both religious and societal issues. It is high time that the society realized that being a career woman doesn’t make her any lesser Muslimah or mother or wife or daughter; the two can very well be balanced. Instead of treading on with such ideologies, the Islamic society should appreciate the Muslim women who are trying to create change in our world; both Islamic and secular world. Muslims should instead create more comfortable job opportunities and environments for Muslim ladies to work within. They forget; teaching a woman is teaching the whole nation yet teaching a Muslim woman can as well be as teaching the whole universe. Let the Muslim ladies explore their talents and imaginations; let them build the society.

The challenges of Islam and Muslim youth could go on and on to fill a whole book due to the seriousness and complexity of the problems. Nonetheless, the general solution for all the named and unnamed problems is for Muslims to come and find solutions on common ground. As much as we have our many differences, we can never miss something of common interest to join us together and join our brains in finding genuine solutions to help Islam and Muslim youth. As Allah (S.W) says in the holy qur’an in surat Imran (103): ‘And hold fast, all of you together, to the rope of Allah and be not divided among yourselves…’ Truly, Allah (S.W) has said it well

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It can be so painful and frustrating when a Muslim youth is neglected not only by the parents, but by the society as well. We have parents who have given their children extreme freedom to the extent that it can just be counted as negligence and recklessness on their side. Most of the times, youths are judged by their character and how they behave when with people but sometimes who is to blame if not parents? The environment in which a youth grows up in really molds him/her to what they finally grow up into. Usually, youth are very vulnerable and especially when he/she misses out on parental love and guidance, that is when we as youth get out of control. Some parents just don’t have the time to listen and talk to their children and young adults. In fact sometimes, it may pass weeks before they see one another because everyone is busy in their own world. They don’t bother to ask or even to care about what is happening in their children’s lives so long as they see them at home with no vivid scratches and wounds then life is good enough for them. But for young Muslims growing up in such a malicious environment, a lot of deep secrets are hidden from parents and if the parents never bother to get close to their children, that’s when the youth find other ways to compensate their parents’ negligence. Some indulge in drugs, some go into prostitution, some just seek love from any man or woman ready to offer them what they need most; which is attention. It is true that some parents actually do offer the parental care and love to their children, but the saddening part is that, these parents are ‘okay’ with how the modern Muslim child is growing into. We have parents who totally see no problem in seeing their young adult daughter go out in exposing clothes or without her hijab, or for some, they totally have no problem if their son comes home with a girl to spend me with. Parents, leaders, role models are letting us, the youth, down. We need to be reminded, we need guidance, we need the love and attention and most of all, we need the support when we are interested in deen. We need more parents saying, ‘it is totally okay if you don’t want to do medicine even though you passed very well, you can go do Islamic studies as you so wish.’ I wish more parents would know that the world doesn’t only revolve around Medicine, Engineering, Law or Business or any other thing they would be proud for their children to take. And that this same world needs more Islamic scholars and academicians and writers. The solution to this is to have both parents and leaders dedicate more of their time speaking to young people; not to harass or condemn for their mistakes or mishaps, but to guide them through their worldly tests and give them the support they need. We need parents acting maturely and setting up good examples for their children to follow instead of joining them in their lost world.

We are living in such a rotten society and our morality is melting away like how wet clay drips off in our hands. We are living in this current era where homosexuality is now being legalized in different parts of the world, we are living in this era whereby everyone is tweeting #mydressmychoice, we are living in the world of parents raping their children and children raping their parents, we are living in the world of bestiality, the world of children taking their parents to court, the world of corruption, prostitution and drugs; we are now living in the era where impunity and immorality is being mistaken to freedom. It is a scary generation and what’s even scarier is the fact that we are scared how our children in the future generations will be like. The fitnah and tribulations can be overwhelming and sometimes however hard a believer tries to abstain from looking, going and doing, the fitnah; sometimes in human form, sometimes in form of music, or videos or even written words, avails itself to him/her whenever he is, comes to them and lures them into sinful acts. This is the era of jihad an-nafs; the era where one has to battle between his mind, heart and soul; to battle with their desires not to indulge in haraam acts. This can be so tricky especially when we are in the technology and internet era whereby youth are being psychologically and indirectly brainwashed and being convinced without them realizing that they are gradually changing their thoughts and way of thinking. Peer pressure plays a great role in the indulgence of youth in immorality especially issues like drug addiction, prostitution, becoming pornography addicts and things like that. Moreover, a lot of young people don’t know who to approach when they are in agony or in doubt or in fear and this is when Satan lures them into acts like drinking alcohol and use of drugs. Worse still, children are left unsupervised; given iphones at very young age, unknown what kind of friends they have, what sites they visit in the internet, where they get the money to spend, where they spend most of their time or why they come home so late. That same negligence as mentioned above is what influences immorality as well. But what best can we do to help youth overcome the challenges they have having to deal with fitnah face to face and help them abstain from sinful acts? We need guidance from our leaders and preferably, the young da’ees and sheikhs since they can easily bond with other young people. We need sheikhs who would not condemn young people for watching or for that matter, being obsessed with football or any kind of sports or maybe play station. We have to realize that in our era, a young man watching football is much better than the one sitting in a baraza with peers somewhere, doing nothing but having idle talk, or watching pornography or taking drugs. And if we try to stop them from watching sports, then we are giving space to Satan to corrupt their minds with other things. So long as the young men obsessed with football prays five times and fasts and does ibadah, we should actually thank God that sports is what they spend their time in rather than other immoral acts. We don’t need sheikhs calling out ‘young people are adulterers, young people are immoral…’ we need leaders and role models who are approachable, those who can listen to the youth talk about their mistakes without judging them; those who can give proper guidance and counseling. We need Islamic heroes.

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Dear Future Son,

It’s a breezy yet sunny afternoon. I’m just staring out of the window at the beautiful scenario right in front of me. Lol just kidding. There’s a large pond of water; that’s what am seeing. Not as beautiful as such 😀 It’s been raining. And just with the droplets falling to the ground, they keep me thinking. I’m one year older today. Alhamdulilah. And as I think of how much blessed I am, I think of you. I think of you as the best gift that I could ever get on a day like this. I think of how much I am missing you even before laying my sight on you. I think of how you are the one thing that makes me await the future. I think. I think quite alot. Will I live that long? Will I live to have you; the love of my life in my arms? Will I? Will I will I will I?? And all the while as all these thoughts cloud my mind, am still staring into the space. Having lived to 21, I’ve learnt quite something about life. I have learnt that true love will always be filial love. That same kind that I want to have with you. I want us to have the best kind of mother to son relationship. I want us to be legendary. I want you to be my hero. I want us to be bestfriends. Maybe I am expecting so much from the virtual you and maybe I will live to be disappointed; but all I can promise you is that I will teach you my high perception of pure love, which all starts with family. YES. Family. And you and I will be the best kind of family. Amin to that 🙂

My dear son, they say I am going to be a strict mother. But deeep deep deep down my heart I know, I am really going to be a strict mother 😀 I won’t even bother sugarcoat that. Yes. I will be hard on you. At least it will seem so but that is just because I want you not to act like a boy all your life, nor do I want you to be just a man. I want you to be a gentleman. The kind of man who speaks not too loud nor in whispers. The kind of man who walks not in arrogance nor lazily. The kind of man whose face beams due to his kindness. The kind of man who knows how to respect a lady and never play around with her dignity. That kind of a man that will be a once in a lifetime kind. I want to be proud of you. Take note: I am not asking for perfection but I am asking for quality behaviour and standards. I want a man of principles. A son that is bold yet humble. The kind who is still the best even with all your imperfections. I don’t know who your dad will be, but I pray that you grow better than him. That you perfect both of my and his imperfections. I want you to learn from his and my mistakes. I want you to be our better version.

My greatest wish is to hear your voice reciting the memorised qur’an lull me to sleep. I want you to be the kind of man that when you leave a place, they miss you immediately. I want you to have that kind of pure heart. A heart that knows no hatred nor lust. A heart that leads others to prayer and to do good. A heart that is a leader by heart. A heart that only seeks what God wants.

I daydream alot about you and how it is going to be when you finally come to being. I dream of that kind of son that I will raise with my own hands, with my own very high principles, with my own diplomatic ways. I don’t even know whether you’ll ever get to see this but I’ll still dream. I’ll still dream of that son of mine that was going to give me love like no one else ever did or will. I’ll still dream even when everyone doubts me. I’ll dream for as long as it is valid to dream.

Your prospective mother (in shaa Allah)

With lots of Love.

Photo Courtesy: http://frontiersmag.wustl.edu/

Dear Future Son,

 By: anonymous

When you were born i was overwhelmed with joy,consumed with happiness. Yet scared that this infirm and fragile creature was not ready for this monster of a world that i have become accustomed to.But when i took a slight peak and your tiny eyes struggled to view my huge form.I felt the whole world face the sun and shine brighter just for you.I knew then and now that the world would be a better place because of you.And my heart was invaded by feelings of pride,care,protection,hope and above all love.I may not have said it as much,but i have always and will always love you my son.And as i held you in my arms,my heart whispered promises to you.I will love you when the world would dare hate you,i will believe in you when everything and everyone would prove otherwise.Because you are amazing.I would tell you stories of my boyhood and echo you my mistakes and regrets that you may learn from them.You wouldn’t have to impress me or compromise with me,be yourself,love yourself,because my love for you is guaranteed.I would have you live like you mean it,be candor,be happy always,because every time you smile the world gets a little better for me.I would have you live a pure life,pure in your love,pure in your hate,pure in your pain and pure in your heart.Face life with passion and fortitude,get excited and embrace the beauty of your dreams.Live my son.Live your full potential,be better than me,dare to stand
alone,because i would have it no other way.Uphold your religion,pray,because man is nothing without faith.be proud of your heritage,your culture,because you are it’s successor.Never forget who you are,you are my son and there is great pride in that.I leave this world as an empty shell,with no plausible accounts.Be my legacy my son.

your mentor,your friend,your father

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Dear Future Daughter

My best moment in life was when i first heard your little voice shriek when the nurse handed you to me. It was a magical moment and right then, I wanted to announce to the whole world that my princess is finally here; with me.

I want you to know that you are the most beautiful girl ever existed and never doubt that. I want you to know how precious you are and that there will never be another you in this world.

I want you to know that i am here just for you; when you are having nightmares and in fear then don’t hesitate to come and sleep in my arms. When you are in pain and need someone to talk to then do know I am always here for you. I want you to be my bestfriend and you to make me yours.

Whenever you are in despair, you don’t have to turn to strangers to talk it out. You dont have to vent out your anger and anguish on social websites, You dont have to cry in the washroom or drain your pillow with tears silently; come cry to me. When you finally become a lady, you don’t have to sneak out to go out. Ask me and we can always hang out together. When you feel lonely then always remember that i am here for you. When you feel like the world is shutting down on you, then dont give up, hold my hand and we’ll take up the rough path together and when you need your space, i’ll still give it to you. When you do a mistake then don’t lie to me; tell me and we can fix it together. When you have secrets, share them with me so i can also share mine with you.

My princess, You don’t have to be lured into a corner by any guy, if he wants to meet you then let him meet me first because I am not just your mother but your bestfriend too. I don’t want you to ever need a guy to tell you how beautiful you are, You are my princess so hold with your head held high; remember, you are the most beautiful thing on earth. I don’t want you to ever cheapen your worth infront of any guy; do know that you are priceless and not just any random guy deserves you. Always remember that when true love finally comes to your life, you will know then. You will feel it. Because true love means respect before anything else. So seek your happiness and goals and your prince charming will appear at the right time in the name of your husband. I don’t want you to ever need love nor do i want you to be a slave of love because i will shower you with enough love. I want you to walk with such dignity that with each footstep you take, the world pauses for a moment. Remember the true value of a woman is in her chastity, so hold onto the values I have taught you.

I want us to be legendary partners. I want us to walk at the beach and play together, build sand castles and run at the shore Iike there is no tomorrow. I want us to have shared hobbies that we’d do together. I want us to plan our weekends; go visit the homeless, go visit the sick, go visit the poor or maybe the orphans because i want you to appreciate the bounties in your life. I want us to stay late night telling stories such that you will never need your phone or a better friend. I want us to pray beside each other everyday. I want us to comb one another’s

hair and play with it. I want us to paint. I want you to tell me how your school days are and i’ll tell you how mine were. I want us to go window shopping, bake together, have girls night out and much more. I want us to kneel to God and thank God for all we’ll go through. Do know that you are the best gift in my life and i waited for this gift for a whole lifetime so don’t you ever doubt my love for you. xx 🙂

                                                                                                                          Love, Future Mama :*