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Creative Non-Fiction


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  • Have a goal

It is important that before one chooses the career to do, he/she should think well and consider the following things. Do have a goal on what you want to achieve in your life. Having set your goals is like a step stone to getting to your final destination.

  • Focus on your strengths

It is always better to focus on your strengths when choosing a career course. Do what you are good in and which stands to be the better option for you.

  • Be realistic

Don’t go for the almost impossible choices. Go for what you know you can handle. Don’t just assume you can do it while you can’t. For example is a person seeking a career that needs public speaking while he/she can barely speak out in a group of three. It becomes hectic for the person trying to fit into a course that doesn’t even suit them.

  • Don’t take up anything to please anyone

It is always important one does what he/she is comfortable and enjoys doing. Don’t do a career course because all your friends are doing it or because you heard that it pays well. Do what you think is right for you and not for others. Parents should not persuade their children into doing a course just because they succeeded in it or it is a course that shows your status. They should advise them instead and let them think for themselves what they can do.

  • Money isn’t everything

If your aim is to take up a career choice that pays you a hundred thousand in the first month then it is important you know that money isn’t everything. It isn’t wise enough to take up a career course that will stress you up and which doesn’t suit your personality just because you’re eyeing the big money at the end of the month. This will lead you into getting tired and exhausted of the job at a very early stage. You may consider the money you’ll earn but you must also think of yourself first.

  • Be focused

Be sure of what you want. Don’t be changing your goals each and every day; jumping from one course into another randomly. Decide to settle down into doing the one right thing.

  • Don’t get cheated

No one should lie to you that such and such a course is very tough to do and the other is the easiest thing to do. Every course has its difficulty however easy it may seem. Even the artist who just draws out of his own creativity and talent, there comes times he faces challenges. The challenges aren’t meant to make us fear doing the career but instead they make us stronger to get to our goals.

The most important thing is that you do what you enjoy. Even if it may be difficult or tiresome or monotonous but so long as you are comfortable with it, the rest of the things shouldn’t bother you. Have faith in yourself and go achieve your goals.


THE REAL HUSTLERS

By: Lubnah Abdulhalim

A fresh morning, a beautiful morning, a wonderful morning, it doesn’t really matter to the citizens coming from Mtwapa and beyond. The moment that you arrive at the busy and crowded road on a Monday morning, your mood already turns off and Monday blues just begin. From the first stage to the last point where your eyes can reach, are people of all kinds. Then, you know, it’s time to hustle.

You can walk from the first stage then to the next and the next and you still don’t get a Matatu to get you to school or work. Apart from the dusty and muddy pathways especially during rainy days, sometimes I must say, the walk can be interesting. You meet old friends, teachers, classmates and relatives on such occasions. Each one of them is waiting for the same thing as you are; matatus.

The wait could take as long as quarter to half an hour and if on a very bad day, an hour. The irony of it all is that, you who comes from home as early as 6.30 a.m could eventually meet your friend at the stage coming from home at 7.00 a.m, meaning, for us, no early bird really catches the worm. With each Matatu that stands in front of you, before you even think to blink, the entire crowd is scrambling into it. For others, without hesitating, prefer to imitate our long cousins the monkeys and climb into the Matatu through the windows. At this point, you remember Darwin’s theory of survival for the fittest and just sigh in confusion. If you pretend to be an honourable one who can’t take the effort of participating in the scrambling, then you could stand to 7.30 a.m or even longer. Without mentioning the fare prices which could go as high as double price especially during rush hours like on Mondays. While on a Saturday, you may get to the stage and find a whole stream of Matatus like on display. The conductors come from all corners and rush to you. The irony now is that they are the ones who are scrambling for you today. They all beg at the same time, each persuading you to get into their Matatu. And even if you insist on getting a certain specific seat they may go to the extent of requesting to the other person seated there before you to exchange it to you for another seat. It is at this moment that you willingly enter any Matatu you want and just at fifty shillings only to get you to town.

During that waiting, for a moment, you actually wish that you could just turn back, go home and continue with a good sleep and taking an off from school or job, but you still have to go. But yet still, before you finally reach your destination, there is that annoying traffic jam that never ends. It really makes one restless and wishing to fly over to the destination. It’s all sweaty and the heat adds more irritation to oneself. And with the endless reconstruction of the Bamburi road, the jam has become more intensified, so instead of the normal half an hour wasted in the traffic jam, it’s now more than an hour.
When you finally arrive at school, you see the teacher on duty glaring at you, not ready for any explanation. Then you know it’s time for punishment. As for those rushing to job, well, the boss is always ready with an entire questionnaire on how and why you got late for work.

With all that struggling, Mtwapa remains to be a harmonious place, a place you could call home…it seems like a small world of its own where everyone knows the other as family.

Without concentrating on the bad picture that people have about Mtwapa, maybe this is why they have had good personalities and achievers from the area. Well, they learn it the hard way. It’s not a matter of pride or loyalty but a matter of plain truth.  Ask for yourself and see.

TO ALL THE MTWAPIANS,

I SALUTE YOU ALL!

 

HUMAN BEINGS AS ANIMALS

BY: Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

 

A bird wakes up very early in the morning without any idea what to eat or where to find the food, but they have three aspects in their minds. First, they have the certainty that they will find food for themselves and their young ones and they have faith that God has a plan for them. Second, they have the will power to rise up early in search for food. Lastly, they have the aspect of hard work in them that makes them fly all day long for food. They come back to their nests in the end of the day with their stomachs full, together with their young ones and yet still have no idea or plan where they will get food for tomorrow. That is what we can call; HOPE.An early bird catches a worm; this truly justifies the kind of lives we human beings should comply with but unfortunately a vast number of human wait for the silver platter.

 

A baobab tree is believed to be one of the strongest species of trees that can live hundreds of years but termites with their aspect of unity bring down the tree.

 

Alongside with other types of animals and insects who work hard in getting what they need in terms of food, water and other things,  there are those animals that have great hard work but zero effort. Example is of the kind of ants that keep crawling around the mouth of a traditional pot, in pursue of what is inside of the pot but they end up going round and round the same circumference. Their hard work is great but they have no effort to get down inside the pot.

 

Parasites are many; those depending on other species to acquire their needs. An example is that of the ticks who keep depending on their hosts, each day moving from one host to another.

 

Nonetheless, there are animals that are lazy. Waiting for their food to appear right in front of their eyes is when they put that little effort to get hold of the food. This is exactly the same thing that happens in human beings. There are human beings who are like the bird, they believe, put in effort and venture out blindly without knowing what exactly they will find, but they have hope that their hard work will due be paid by God.

 

And just like the termites, we have the people or communities who work together in solidarity and thus they always are successful in what they do. They share ideas, help each other, support each other and the beauty of it all is that this shared efforts bring about love and harmony within the community.

 

The ant-like human beings are those that work hard but yet have no focus towards what they really want.  It reminds me of a character by the name Popo in the book ‘Miguel Street’ in my university course who was a carpenter. He was always busy with the woods and one could see him really working and yet whenever he was asked what he was making, he would say ‘I am making the thing without a name.’ Popo ended up making nothing out of his hard work.

 

The parasites in human beings are so many. You could find a man lying in bed all day long hoping that food would get to him like manna or depending on his wife to go out and work and feed him and the family instead. Others are those that seat idle in the ‘maskani’ and whining all day that they got no jobs. Now how will you get the job if you don’t search for it? Others sit on the streets begging while others depend on their brothers to satisfy their needs and wants.

 

God brought us animals so they may be a teaching to us and so we may learn from their living. So in what category are you? The early bird, the confused ants, the termites or the parasites and the lazy ones? Think about it and learn to change accordingly. We only reap what we sow and where there is a will there is a way.

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When I first came across the names of the most inspiring failures, I immediately wanted to share it to all the readers who are facing failure at the moment. Whenever I came across hardships and failed miserably in achieving what I want, I always remembered these great personalities. It is inspiring to know that the most famous successful personalities in the world are yet the most famous failures, but what makes them outstanding is how they tackled their failure to become very successful. These are just some among’st many other achievers in the world and who knows; maybe you and I could be the next people in the world charts?? Let us have the will power and confidence that we can get there someday.

 

  1. Bill Gates, founder and chairman of Microsoft, has literally changed the work culture of the world in the 21st century, by simplifying the way computer is being used. He happens to be the world’s richest man for the last one decade. However, in the 70’s before starting out, he was a Harvard University dropout. The most ironic part is that, he started a software company (that was soon to become Microsoft) by purchasing the software technology from “someone” for only $US50 back then.
  1. Abraham Lincoln, received no more than 5 years of formal education throughout his lifetime. When he grew up, he joined politics and had 12 major failures before he was elected the 16th President of the United States of America.
  1. Isaac Newtonwas the greatest English mathematician of his generation. His work on optics and gravitation made him one of the greatest scientists the world has even known. Many thought that Isaac was born a genius, but he wasn’t! When he was young, he did very poorly in grade school, so poor that his teachers became clueless in improving his grades.
  1. Ludwig van Beethoven,a German composer of classical music, is widely regarded as one of history’s supreme composers. His reputation has inspired – and in many cases intimidated – composers, musicians, and audiences who were to come after him. Before the start of his career, Beethoven’s music teacher once said of him “as a composer, he is hopeless”. And during his career, he lost his hearing yet he managed to produce great music – a deaf man composing music, ironic isn’t!
  1. Thomas Edison who developed many devices which greatly influenced life in the 20th century. Edison is considered one of the most prolific inventors in history, holding 1,093 U.S patents to his name. When he was a boy his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. When he set out on his own, he tried more than 9,000 experiments before he created the first successful light bulb.
  1. The Woolworth Company was a retail company that was one of the original five-and-ten-cent stores. The first Woolworth’s store was founded in 1878 by Frank Winfield Woolworth and soon grew to become one of the largest retail chains in the world in the 20th century. Before starting his own business, Woolworth got a job in a dry goods store when he was 21. But his employer would not let him serve any customer because he concluded that Frank “didn’t have enough common sense to serve the customers”.
  1. By acclamation, Michael Jordon is the greatest basketball player of all time. A phenomenal athlete with a unique combination of grace, speed, power, artistry, improvisational ability and an unquenchable competitive desire. Jordan single-handedly redefined the NBA superstar. Before joining NBA, Jordan was just an ordinary person, so ordinary that was cut from high school basketball team because of his “lack of skill”.
  1. Walter Disney was American film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor, and animator. One of the most well-known motion picture producers in the world, Disney founded a production company. The corporation, now known as The Walt Disney company, makes average revenue of US $30 billion annually. Disney started his own business from his home garage and his very first cartoon production went bankrupt. During his first press conference, a newspaper editor ridiculed Walt Disney because he had no good ideas in film production.
  1. Winston Churchill failed the 6th grade. However, that never stopped him to work harder! He strived and eventually became the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during the Second World War. Churchill is generally regarded as one of the most important leaders in Britain and world history. In a poll conducted by the BBC in 2002 to identify the “100 Greatest Britons”, participants voted Churchill as the most important of all.
  1. Steven Spielberg is an American film director. He has won 3 Academy Awards and ranks among the most successful filmmakers in history. Most of all, Steven was recognized as the financially most successful motion picture director of all time. During his childhood, Spielberg dropped out of junior high school. He was persuaded to come back and was placed in a learning-disabled class. He only lasted a month and then dropped out of school forever.
  2. Akio Morita is the founder of giant electric household products, Sony Corporation. First product was an electric rice cooker but it became a fail since it burned rice rather than cooking. Today, Sony is generating US$66 billion in revenue and ranked as the world’s 6th largest electronic and electrical company.
  3. Albert Einstein, when he was young; his parents thought he was mentally retarded. His grades in school were so poor and he even considered himself stupid. However, he became a theoretical physicist widely regarded as the most important scientist of the 20th century. He was awarded the 1921 Nobel Prize for Physics for his explanation of the photoelectric effect in 1905 and “for his services to Theoretical Physics”.
  4. John Grisham‘s first novel was rejected by sixteen agents and twelve publishing houses. He kept on practicing the art of writing until he became best known as a novelist and author for his works of modern legal drama. The media has coined him as one of the best novel authors even alive in the 21st century and his books are read worldwide.
  5. Marilyn Monroe was dropped by 20th Century-Fox, one year into her contract, because her producer thought she was unattractive and cannot act. She didn’t give up on her dreams and eventually she was recognized by the public as the 20th century’s most famous movie star and pop icon.
  6. Henry Ford not only revolutionized industrial production in the United States and Europe, but also had such influence over the 20th century economy and society yet his first two automobile companies failed. His first failure did not stop him from incorporating Ford Motor Company and being the first to apply assembly line manufacturing to the production of affordable automobiles in the world. His combination of mass production, high wages and low prices to consumers has initiated a management school known as “Fordism”. He became one of the three most famous and richest men in the world during his time.
  7. Soichiro Honda was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation during a job interview as engineer after World War Two. He continued to be jobless and soon, his neighbors started buying his home-made scooters.  He set out on his own to start his own company, Honda. Today, the Company has grown to become the world’s largest motorcycle manufacturer and one of the most profitable automakers. With a global network of 437 subsidiaries, Honda develops, manufactures, and markets a wide variety of products ranging from small general-purpose engines and scooters to specialty sports cars.

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When the whistle is blown and the game goes on, we are attracted to the screen. The game is so thrilling, exciting, it’s all about the enchantment of football. Once someone told me football is bewitching and that is surely a true say. The game can be so overwhelming especially when we see the players dribbling the ball to the goal or when they hurl the ball around, seeing a powerful kick or an entertaining shoot from the exultant players. How exciting it can be seeing them majestically enter the field, full of confidence and how they conquer the field and win the cup. How enchanting!

But there is quite a big difference between us and these teams. They live in a world of their own…they conquered their fears and fulfilled their goals. They earn millions of cash per week while we sit watching them for hours but what do we gain from them? Do we learn anything after more than one hour of deep concentration? They have a secured future but do we? Have we ever wondered why they earn all that money for just pushing a thing made of skin? Isn’t it a worldly affair that’s driving out people from what is more important to them? Haven’t we seen people committing suicide just because their team has lost? That’s a good reason for us to think well.

Well, there is a positive side of this whole issue. There are some things we could learn from the players. Not once nor twice have the fans seen some few players raise their hands to the sky and thank God for their success. They make time for their God, while we rarely do. Remember, they have done their part while we haven’t.

On the social basis, it’s so interesting seeing the winners and the losers hug, exchange shirts and pat each other’s back after the game. Actually this is the most entertaining part of the entire game.

They do realize that after all it’s just a game while we haven’t yet realized that life is a mere game too. We are too malicious and selfish, we never want to scratch each others’ back and we don’t even have good will to the closest people to us.

When the game is on, we see the collaboration, the unity and association among the team members. How they work together with no selfishness to get to their goals and how good the results of it can be. It is something worth following.

Life is all about your decision; either you learn from football or just merely watch the game. Have fun watching football or even other games but make sure you have your priorities first; your family, your studies, your future and most importantly, your hereafter. Well, it’s up to you now.

 

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

 

When a person succeeds through the university life, then one has surely achieved something in their lives. Many have wanted to get to university or college or even campus so that they may have that key to success in life but never even got to see the university gate or got as far as first or second year before dropping out. It is for this that young lads have high employment hopes after graduation. Immediately after the ceremony, we all rush up and down to get employed in an office somewhere. The morale is obviously at its peak at this point especially with the bachelor’s degree or master’s degree in hand… but … not for so long.

Once one steps into the job called ‘kazi ya kutafuta kazi’ then reality strikes you hard. Sometimes having a degree or even a master’s degree doesn’t really guarantees you a job on the ground. It may take one, months or even years before finally securing a job somewhere. Many people gave up hope in the process and ended up idle in the streets while others ventured into illegal businesses like drug trafficking. It isn’t anything new that unemployment is dragging our country behind and Kenyans have lived to see very educated people selling water or becoming ‘mama mboga’ and others have done a totally different field in jobs from the course they studied, due to unemployment.

Employment has become an issue of luck rather than a person’s intellectuality. Some people who just have a diploma or even form four finishers have been able to sometimes acquire a job before the more learned and intelligent people. It is this kind of competition that many people are facing at the moment and for a lifetime but once one acquires the job, then he is overjoyed such that he forgets all that hustle they went through.

After that now comes the salary issue whereby everyone builds castles in the air of huge amounts of money they will acquire. The fresh youth from graduation are always anticipating the receiving of the cash and have high hopes that they will earn well since they believe their education level or intelligence is high enough. Well, the bosses know better and sometimes, one may end up earning as low as a quarter of the estimation you made on your salary!

That is not all; you then come to realize that having a job is not a bed of roses as such. There is a heap of work waiting for you each morning, some annoying colleagues or maybe an irritating boss. What can be most disturbing is when you have to redo your work again or the consistent summoning by the boss on the do’s and don’ts that you are not following.  Sometimes you have to work for extra hours such that when you get home, your family is already asleep and you leave too early to work when everyone is still asleep. There are many sacrifices one has to make at times, like that of going to work even on Sundays, during public holidays or even having to miss family weddings and events.

End month is the time all employees countdown to, especially when it gets to half month and they are next to bankruptcy! It is a moment of joy and everyone celebrates it in their own way. Others give themselves a treat while others save it for the future. And the reward for all the sacrifices is always remarkable; when one gets his salary and is able to accomplish their dreams and satisfy the family’s needs at that.

Acquiring a job may be hectic but being in the job, being able to secure it and profit from it is even trickier. It is for this reason we are to respect all those people rushing up and down in offices and even the ones selling newspapers and food stuff by the roads. Respect as well to the ones spending all their coins and energy in search of jobs too! Because as they say ‘kazi ni kazi na hata kutafuta kazi ni kazi!’

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Kindness is one of the most invaluable qualities anyone could have. It is a rare quality and that’s why the Swahili say ‘kutoa ni moyo’ to mean giving (charity) needs a big heart. Clearly, not everyone has this quality for there are very rich individuals but are very mean while there are people with humble backgrounds but still give the little much they have. So today, we are going to celebrate all the people who give; however small or big, whatever or however you do it…you are one of the living legends

Have you ever passed by those many small street kids in town with their torn and untidy clothes and they timidly follow you to ask for some cash or some food? They are so many especially behind posta area and one would get even confused whom to give and whom not to but if you gave out even if it was your ten shilling coin, then do know you have done a great thing. You may assume that ten shillings is very little but never underestimate the value of what you give in charity. Just imagine the smile on that child or person at the street there and the immediate thanks that follows you by them; isn’t that a great blessing indeed?

Right now, our country is undergoing an economic crisis and the citizens are always the ones to suffer. We are all tied up in problems of our own but there are those few individuals who would go one step further and stretch their hand to the less fortunate. They would go visit the sick with maybe a packet of milk and bread, or maybe they would collect some old un needed but still good clothes and give them out in charity to some orphans somewhere, they would share some food with the hungry neighbour…and the list goes on. Sometimes, it is these small things that we do that actually create the deeper happiness in our lives.

School fees have always been a deep agony to many parents and guardians and they have to run up and down from place to place in search of that one big heart that would help without hesitation or embarrassing the one seeking their help. How many times have we seen people seeking help from prominent people who would make them wait for hours and hours before dismissing them empty handed, but yet still, in every ten, we don’t miss that one humane being that can create all the difference in your life.

Charity has never required anyone to be extra ordinarily rich and sometimes you don’t need money at all. As Lao Tzu said, ‘kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.’ Sometimes, all you have to do is give a smile to your fellow brother, make someone laugh, remove a harmful object from people’s way, visit the sick and orphans, be humble in your words and all these actions could be termed as kindness for kind of effect they have on people. With all that you do in kindness, never expect anything in return but who knows what the future holds? You might need help one time in your life and someone else would offer you kindness just as you did to others because charity and kindness never goes a waste!

A word of inspiration to us all is that ‘beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to die by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” (Og Mandino)

So let’s all take a minute today to thank and pray and show gratitude to all the groups that are tirelessly working to offer charity and kindness to the less fortunate and all the new groups that are doing a very well done job to the society, the few prominent people with humanity, to those who are supporting children with their school fees, those who are doing a wonderful job of maintaining our graveyards, going to hospital and giving fruits to all the patients in a huge hospital like coast general, amongst many other charity activities that they do. And to you who spreads love with any way of kindness to the less fortunate even if it is by that smile or your twenty shillings and individuals who are so many I can’t personally write them down; for the list goes on and on…you are our heroes! I salute you all!

Photo Courtesy: http://www.omicsonline.org/

There are so many killer diseases engulfing our lives today. We all dread to hear that we or any of our family members have cancer or AIDS or a brain tumor and much more. Such news always comes with a lot of shock such that the first thing we think of is death. One may sit beside a person who is in Intensive Care Unit or one who is paralyzed with deep fear that any minute any second he/she may die. Some people committed suicide just at the knowing of their ailments and some gave up completely in life and their health ended up deriorating quickly due to the stress and depression.

As family members surround the sick one as he turns and tosses around on the bed with pain, everyone has many thoughts in their heads. While others are afraid of the fact that he or she is quickly wasting away, someone else may be calculating the inheritance after his decease. But life has interestingly turned tables! Whereas we expect those with dangerous diseases or the very old to die, we have seen the young and even newly born die before the rest!

A story of a man with four wives is told where the man was HIV positive and was already bed ridden. He was so seriously ill and everyone was calculating his death any time. His first wife had already planned that she was going to chase away the other wives immediately he dies. To everyone’s surprise, the man started getting his good health back and grew stronger than before. The woman’s plans obviously failed and for many others too.

Doctors would bear witness to my point for sure they have seen people die from a minor fever or even flu while the ones struggling with cancer and diabetics live to see the unwinding of time. Truly death never chose a particular ailment or even age for it comes as suddenly as never expected.

Very interesting and surprising stories have been told like the one on a European man who was very much ill and very old at age. He was once saved by an African girl by taking him to the hospital. On being asked for a price for saving him, she asked for marriage to the old man. The old man agreed though the lady had already calculated that any time the ill old man would die and leave her with everything. So the two got married and the lady tirelessly took good care of him. One day, the old man called his lawyer home and wrote his will right in front of his wife that she was to inherit everything he owned. The lady was so happy for her mission had been accomplished. She decided to go out to the town to give herself a treat and that was when she was met by an accident. She died; leaving the old ill man behind…who ever thought?!

Though killer diseases may be highly risky in our bodies but it doesn’t mean it is the end. I personally know of people who suffered from cancer, another stayed in Intensive Care Unit for months, had stroke but lived longer to even see their younger ones die from other minor reasons like someone I heard of who died after slipping on a banana peel and fell down on the ground, hit his head and died.

To all the people suffering from serious ailments out there, it isn’t the time for you to give up. You still have a bright future ahead but it is upon you to work onto fighting the disease and prove yourself stronger!

Photo Courtesy: http://www.herald.co.zw/

A catastrophe

A catastrophe indeed.

I was only four by then,

So innocent, so naïve…

When the beautiful blue horizon,

Turned into a dark pond,

And everything became misty.

The rain drops went drip-drip-drip

With the wind blowing in gusts.

The people sang with gusto,

As the children went frolicking around.

The guitars were played smoothly,

As everyone danced freely.

I looked at papa

And I felt real proud,

A sergeant-in-chief

Was real worth it.

Honorable guests,

Commanders,

Generals,

A great party it was, indeed.

I moved with papa proudly

As he made me meet his allies.

“These are your uncles,” he said,

And I nodded in agreement.

So innocent, so naïve,

I didn’t know what to say.

One of them held my small hand tightly,

And said briefly,

“Won’t you like to have a walk with uncle?”

But that wasn’t a question,

Yet rather, a short request.

My father let me go off me,

And I followed ‘uncle’ sheepishly.

We went far and farther away.

And when I asked my fate,

He hoarsely said,

“You will right now know.”

As we went on walking,

He insisted,

“Your papa should never know.”

I cried in bewilderment,

As he took me to the river across.

So dark and quiet the place was,

Like a narrow cave it was.

Next, he betrayed me,

And I painfully cried in agony for papa.

I was in a sudden frisson,

As the blood oozed down the floor.

I didn’t comprehend at all,

Neither did I want to,

I just wanted papa again

For the pain was too much for me.

Four was my age,

So innocent, so naïve.

My tears couldn’t stop flowing

And I couldn’t stop saying,

“What have you done uncle?”

“What have you done!”

It’s the pain of betrayal,

The pain of mistrust,

The pain, of rape.

LET’S FIGHT AGAINST RAPE.

Photo Courtesy: Unknown

A mother is one of the most important gifts we have in our lives and truth is no one could ever take her place in our hearts or our lives generally. Washington Irving once said ‘A mother is the truest friend we have when trials; heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.’ And what is even more interesting is what Mitch Albom had to say about this is that ‘but there’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where you begin.’ However much different opinions, ideas or prospects we have from our mothers, there is nothing worse in this life than losing a mother.

When such a tragedy like losing or getting separated to your mother befalls anyone especially a child or a teenager most of us give up on life, get depressed too much and have so much negativity and bitterness towards life but what can be more stressing to a child is having the knowledge that they are going to have a step mother. Most of us have grown up hearing the fairy tale stories of step mothers whereby they are depicted like the witches in disguise; those so evil monsters in a human costume with long terrifying nails ready to kill us at any moment. And that is the picture most children have grown up with towards step mothers which makes them automatically have a negative attitude towards her even before meeting or getting to know her well.

Well, no one could ever deny that it really takes a beautiful heart to be ready to take care of her husband’s children with good heart and humility like they are her own children. We’ve heard so many stories in news of how children have been mistreated by their step mothers; some got burnt, some beaten up heavily for no good reason, some over worked, and some are used for illegalities while some are denied golden opportunities like basic education and food especially in the absence of the father. That was never the end of it. We’ve also heard of the step parents sodomizing the children, raping them and worst yet, leading to their death. It is so sad how much inhuman and ruthless step mothers can be but what many don’t know of is that we can never miss one good person in every ten people. Good step mothers do exist and what is even more interesting is that they sometimes give better treatment to the children more than the real mothers.

There are women with such golden hearts that are incomparable. They give the step children so much love and care such that a stranger would never know that she isn’t the real mother. And it is in circumstances like these that you find that it is actually the step children now, who are giving a rough and hard time to the step mother. It is true, it is never easy for anyone to imagine having another mother but we should understand that this isn’t a competition. No one could ever replace our mothers but maybe we should make space for other worthy people in our lives. So long as she is treating you good then giving her a hard time is just unnecessary.

Yet still, it is not only the step mother who has been convicted with such devilish crimes but step fathers too and even real parents have had cases of mistreating their own children. Therefore, it is high time we changed our theories and beliefs that are so stuck in our minds and give chance and space for reality to prove itself. No one wishes that their mother dies or parents separate and no one wishes to have a step mother or even a step father, but when circumstances force one into our lives then let us learn to accept them in our lives. She may not be like the real mother but she may just be like your guardian angel. Accepting such changes is important because it makes us move on at our own pace in life.

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