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Creative Non-Fiction


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Creative Non-Fiction

AN AFFECTION FOR FINANCIAL SUCCESS

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Photo courtesy: http://www.steamfeed.com/
By: Ibrahim Al Jabri

I often critique our societal norms and structure in respect to happiness,to try to find the source of our unhappiness. One of the greatest factors that correlate to societal norms and happiness is financial success, how we define it and it’s acceptable attainability.

It’s important to mention that we are beings dependant on a sense of level of satiability. Are we satisfied with our level of success ? If we’re not then we immediately retreat to depression and self doubt. In this regard we are deeply flawed.

In my country especially, there’s just not enough good jobs out there for the taking and it creates a deeply competitive market that capitalizes on niche qualifications. This creates a rush to degree courses and specializations on  markets that can sustain our need of financial success,our need to one day flaunt it.

Now personally I did look at job markets before choosing my degree , I had to do so much research on the monetary value of certain employment opportunities over others that I forgot what’s truly important. Passion. Am I interested in this field or am I chasing financial gains ?

It’s not my fault for being so crass in the way I choose , I was programmed that way by a failing market.

No one should have to choose passion over financial success. In a working economy all of our interests would warrant sufficient compensation, I would be able to survive just a writer we wouldn’t all be pigeonholed into being doctors and lawyers oh and let’s not forget pilots.

If I had a penny for every smart as a bag of hair medical student who’s parent is rich enough to pay for the novelty of a Dr tittle I’d be rich enough to survive on my writing alone.

Feel free ( or don’t ) to replace the above example with any degree course that isn’t in the arts as I have no qualms that are degree-specific.

The only reason I’m not in a liberal arts college ( besides that my country doesn’t have one ) studying literature and creative writing is the fact that I don’t want to be homeless. Its that simple. We give up our passions for realistic degrees that pay well and once we are financially stable we yearn for happiness.

I can only hope that there’s a niche market out there for writers without any college level training in writing.

My future happiness is banking on it.

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GOOD PITCH COMES TO KENYA

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For the first time ever, Good pitch comes to East Africa and Kenya! Okay so right now you have two questions in mind:

What is Good Pitch or Who are they?

And why should it be exciting news?

See for any writer, journalist, innovator, policymakers etecetera etcetera, documentaries are not just documentaries or films like how you watch it on television and that is the end of the story at the end of the story. This is about capturing the most urgent issues, the untold stories, the exceptional master pieces, and this is exactly the golden chance that Good pitch offers.

So who are behind Good Pitch?

Good Pitch is a BRITDOC project in partnership with Ford Foundation and the Sundance Institute Documentary Film Program. BRITDOC is a nonprofit film foundation supported by Bertha Foundation, the Ford Foundation and more than 50 organizations and individuals globally.

What exactly do they do?

GOOD PITCH brings together six documentary filmmaking teams with European foundations, NGO’s, campaigners, philanthropists, policymakers, technology innovators, government, brands and media around leading social issues – to forge unique coalitions and campaigns around documentary films to maximize their social impact and influence.

The filmmakers selected for Good Pitch are exceptional storytellers and independent journalists, capturing urgent global issues: from the struggle of emerging democracies to defending LGBT rights; from degeneration of the seas, to the challenges of ageing; from the price of human migration, to disability in the workplace.

 

So after a Pan-African call made in Durban in July 2015, six extraordinary film projects, were selected; drawn from 100 entries from 18 countries across Africa. There is a fantastic lineup of extraordinary film projects for this year’s Good Pitch2 Kenya, which are urgent stories of our time. This is going to be the Good Pitch offering a positive opportunity to connect with the biggest challenges facing Kenya, and Africa at large, this decade. With filmmakers hailing from Kenya, Norway, South Africa, Australia and Sierra Leone, these projects tackle several important and urgent issues.

Good Pitch is where change begins. It’s where strategy is conceived, coalitions are forged, deals struck and pacts made. Right now, there are 85 Good Pitch films being used at the heart of national or international social justice campaigns.

Included amongst the 2900+ organizations that have participated in Good Pitch are: Al Jazeera, Amnesty International, Arabella Advisors and Ariadne among many others.

 

Among the films at the Good Pitch 2016 Kenya are:

 

KISILU: BEFORE THE FLOOD now- THANK YOU FOR THE RAIN

Director; Julia Dahr, Kenya, Norway

Over the last five years Kisilu, a smallholder, has used his camera to capture the life of his family, his village and the impacts of extreme weather. He has filmed floods, droughts and storms but also the more human impacts – his kids are sent home from school when he can’t pay the fees; men are moving to towns in search for jobs; and relations within his family become more and more strained. But Kisilu refuses to give up – instead he finds himself on the biggest political journey of his life. Travelling to Paris to present his footage as evidence to delegates at the UN Climate Talks, his video diaries take on a remarkable new meaning. Amid the murky cut and thrust of politics at COP21, ‘the biggest environmental show on earth’, Kisilu sheds a powerful new light on the climate justice movement and the people who lead us.

 

THE LETTER

Director; Maia von Lekow& Chris King, Kenya / Australia

The Letter takes us deep into Kenya’s southern Coast Province, to explore the region’s growing problem of violence against elderly people. Accused and condemned as witches, more than twenty elderly people are being killed every month in these communities. But the witchcraft is being used as a cover-up for countless disputes over land and resources. With the discovery of large deposits of rare earth minerals, property developers and resource explorers eye these ancient lands and tension is rising. With flames being fanned by religious hatred and deep historical injustice which threaten to overwhelm, we follow one family who are fighting to stay together and save their grandmother who is the next to be branded as a witch.

 

TURKANA: RACE FOR RESOURCES

Director; Jackie Lebo, Kenya

A forgotten desert community grapples with the consequences of a big oil find on their land. Will the promised development be what they’ve always wanted and must they lose their traditional way of life? From the community elders looking for answers and a place at the table, to the young environmentalist campaigning for social justice, to the oil man, who is convinced that this geological find can bring the progress and investment that the region has been desperately waiting for. Turkana: Race for Resources observes the battle for the soul and the future of Kenya’s great Northern desert country.

 

TRUTH

Director; Pete Murimi, Kenya

What’s the true cost of living a life that’s true? In Kenya, like much of Africa, gay people aren’t even allowed to think about falling in love. Most of our story is set in the sprawling slums of Nairobi, where our protagonist, a father of two and a gay sports player, lives with his lover. It’s a far cry from the kind of life his conservative rural parents imagined for him.  An “aspiring politician” and anti-gay crusader, is used to bending the truth, in his quest for political relevance – something that’s hard to attain when you come from the slums. The politician’s ambitions to push for a “stone the gays law” are at odds with this gay man’s desire to live a truthful life, free of discrimination. What will this desire for TRUTH cost him, in the end?

 

IN THE LAND OF MILK AND HONEY

Director;AlikiSaragas, South Africa

After a massacre by the South African police shakes the foundations of the poverty stricken mining community of Marikana, two uneducated unemployed grandmothers, Primrose Sonti and ThumekaMagwangqana resolve to rise up and organise. They form a community organisationSikhalaSonke (We-Cry-Together) to advocate for economic and social justice. Growing in determination, Primrose joins the new opposition political party the Economic Freedom Fighters, that promises the disenfranchised poor land and jobs. When sheer determination unexpectedly lands her a seat in post-Apartheid South African parliament, Primrose will have a life changing move to Cape Town. Meanwhile Thumeka picks up the reigns of SikhalaSonke in Marikana, and together with a legal advocacy team, lodges a landmark complaint against the World Bank for its investment in Lonmin Platinum Mine. A study of friendship and of leadership and the battle for social justice in modern South Africa, how will these two women make their voices heard to affect real change?

 

SURVIVORS

Director; Arthur Pratt, Sierra Leone

Through the lens of Sierra Leonean filmmakers, Survivors presents a heart-connected portrait of the Ebola outbreak, exploring the complexity of the epidemic and the socio-political turmoil that lies in its wake. The film chronicles the remarkable stories of the Sierra Leonean first responders – including an ambulance driver and a nurse, during what is now widely regarded as the most acute public health crisis of the modern era. It is a revealing the story of the local heroes who helped bring the epidemic under control.

 

The Opening speech of Good Pitch Kenya will be delivered by Hadeel Ibrahim, the Executive Director of the Mo Ibrahim Foundation.

The Moderator will be Nancy Kacungira, now with the BBC.

 

So what happens next?

The day after the live event, GP are scheduling a private, two-hour Good Pitch Post Pitch Summit of 15-20 persons per film project.

The goal is to view additional material from the film, hear more about the film subjects and their journey, share how the film might be able to serve the movement, brainstorm distribution and campaign strategies then with a key group of stakeholders, create a list of other potential partners, and discuss the possibility of next steps.

See why I say this is exciting?

 

Details?

The global Good Pitch programme in partnership with Ford Foundation and the Sundance Institute Documentary Film Program brings Good Pitch2 to Kenya (GP Ke) and East Africa for the first time on October 8.GP Ke is hosted by Docubox, the only East African Documentary Film Fund based in Nairobi.

Further details are as noted below:

GoodPitch2 Kenya LiveEvent

Date: Saturday 8th October 2016

Time: 09.00 –17.30,with a cocktail reception to follow until 19.00

Venue:Kenya National Theatre, Harry Thuku Road Nairobi

 

Among the attendees are:

Acumen East Africa, Africa Uncensored, Afridocs, Aga Khan Foundation, AGRA, American Jewish World Service, Amnesty International, Amnesty Kenya, AMREF Health Africa, Arid Lands Information Network (ALIN) amongst many others.

 

In Kenya so far over 30 organizations and over 300 individuals have confirmed participation. Another beauty is that the following day after Good Pitch Kenya ie. on Sunday the 9th , a day after Good Pitch there shall also be Good Pitch OPEN HOUSE, A British Council Hustle to be held at Shalom House from 3.00pm to 6.30pm. An invites only (unfortunately) meeting between Funding organization and philanthropists with interested parties that will include filmmakers and other creatives.

 

I will end this by congratulating and wishing all the participants the very best in the film-making process. We need to see more Kenyan and African stories out there 🙂

 

To get a flavor of what Good Pitch does, watch our trailer.

Find out more about Good Pitch: goodpitch.org.

What’s the impact?  Take a look at our review!

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Creative Non-Fiction

HOW TO KILL HUMANITY IN A MOMENT

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Photo Courtesy: pinterest.com

I remember a day just a few weeks ago, I was walking around Makadara Old town with my close friend Amina, when all of a sudden the man right in front of us fell down. He started having fits and convulsions before he became unconscious. We both freaked out of course and we had a second of shock before we thought of doing anything. His fits seemed like he was an epileptic but he didn’t produce any saliva like I have seen it ooze out of my sister’s mouth.

See my sister is epileptic but in that moment I just froze and my mind went blank. I totally had no idea what to do yet I have the experience doing first aid for an epileptic. When the shock sank in, I ran to a chemist nearby to get help while Amina picked up the man’s belongings that were scattered.

I couldn’t get any help from the Pharmacists. So I rushed back. People had started gathering. Everyone with their own theory of what to do so he can recover.

“Mnusishe ufunguo.” (Let him smell keys)

“Mnusishe upande wa chini wa kiatu.” (Let him smell the bottom side of the shoe.

There was a biology teacher nearby. He asked the people to space out before saying that epileptics can’t be helped in that situation. They are left to regain their consciousness.

Every kind of people stood and had a peep at him. Some questioned what was happening while others just looked and disappeared. We still stood there; me and Amina. And it was while we were waiting for the man to gain consciousness I remembered my sister. I imagined how it would be if she ever fell down on the way. Will she get someone like Amina to hold her things until she wakes up? Will she get someone to raise her head and turn her back and cover her well? My heart was in a pinch now and I was holding myself so hard not to break down. But then my brother in law appeared (the husband to my epileptic sister), and you know, usually when you see a familiar face in such a situation it’s like “at last someone to understand what I am feeling”. So I just let it out and started crying. Mind you, I was crying in front of a crowd of people. So the attention shifted for a moment.

“Why is she crying?” They started asking. My brother in law pulled me aside and I quickly rubbed off my tears and put on a smile. He left and I went back to where the man was lying.

Slowly, we watched as he regained consciousness. I went on my knees and questioned him his name and whether he remembers what has jut happened. From experience, there were times she couldn’t even recognize my mother until moments later.

The man told us his name and gave us his relative’s phone number to call. A lady gave me her phone to make the call.

“Are you so and so?”

“Yes. Do you know so and so?”

“Why?”

“He mentioned you to be his uncle. Do you know him?”

“No this is wrong number.”

“Wait…aren’t you so and so?”

“I am but as I told you I don’t know the person.” The line went dead.

“He says he doesn’t know you,” I told the man.

“We are not in very good terms that’s why.”

“Any other relative we can call?”

“My cousin but he doesn’t have a phone at the moment.”

We all sighed. This is going to be tricky to deal with.

The same lady who gave me the phone to make the call went and bought the man some water and glucose. Another male student seemingly going to college stopped by and offered to help too. The biology teacher was still standing there and Amina was still holding the man’s belongings, tears in her eyes.

“So how can we help him? He can’t leave like this.”

I knelt down again.

“Do you have epilepsy?”

“No I went to the hospital the other day and I was told Malaria has gotten to the brain…and thus the convulsions.” He slowly removed a hospital subscription and then showed me ARV’s.

“I am coming from my uncle’s.place to ask for help to buy the medicines required and I was heading to another place to ask for help too.”

A Barawa man or perhaps he was a Somali quickly asked me, “He needs money for hospital?”

I nodded.

“Please come with me to my shop I will give you the money.”

The hospital prescription was written that he was referred to Coast general and he needed malaria tablets worth 2000. I stared at the amount with puzzlement. 2000/= for malaria tabs? Or is it because he has Aids? Doesn’t make sense. I still went with the Barawa guy to his shop and gave me the two thousand shillings. I thanked him and rushed to Kisima Chemist.

I quickly told the story to the Pharmacist and showed him the prescription. His next words shattered me…

“That man…he is lying. There is no prescription that can be written for malaria tabs worth 2000. Plus if he has been referred to Coast general he should be there instead of taking malaria tabs worth 2K”

“I thought so too…but…but he can’t be lying. He fell down right in front of me. I saw him get the fits. How he gained consciousness.”

“Ma’am…we have seen a lot here. People go to far extents to make money from people. He must have used a substance that triggered the fall and the fits. They usually point out targets and then do the act.”

I was speechless. Shocked. Pertubed.

Does this mean this man had actually targeted me and Amina as potential naive souls to believe his drama?

“Now what should I do? Someone just gave me 2000 to buy the guy medicines. I don’t even know his name. How can I return it?”

“Listen… if you want to buy malaria tablets worth 2000 then I will give you…but if you really want to help this guy take him to hospital. You will know the truth from there”

The pharmacist turned to the next customer as I stood still. I replayed the whole scene.

It was just Amina and I behind that man. No one close by. I remember how fast he showed me his ARV’s and the prescription and how he told his story of needing funds…Oh my…

Amina interrupted my thoughts.

“Oh I finally found you. The man was saying he knows a place he can buy the medicines at a cheaper price.”

I told her what the pharmacist had just said.

“Anyway let’s just assume he is being honest…in any case we haven’t lost anything.”

“Well yeah but if he is lying then we have lost our tears and my head is drumming and I am late for work. Both of us are late to work…” I said.

As we approached the man again, the crowd had dispersed. Remaining was just the fallen guy, the biology teacher and Amina’s mum who had come after Amina called her.

We took Amina’s mum aside and explained what we were told. The shock never seized appearing on our faces.

“We can’t exactly know though. Maybe he is sick after all. Let’s just give him benefit of doubt…”

Amina’s mum approached the man and asked him,

“Should we take you to Coast general? Won’t it be better if we took you there?”

“Mmh yeah…” he hesitated, “but let me relax first.”

Amina’s mum told us they will try questioning him before giving him the 2K. So Amina and I left while Amina’s mum and the biology teacher went with him to a small cafe to buy him lunch and question him too…

 

It’s been quite a while since that incident but I have never been able to digest it. Every time I pass by that spot I remember how that man fell down. And whenever I do, I feel disappointed and sometimes; stupid.

Amina later on told me that her mum told the man that if he is genuine then may God help him and if he lying then God is there too to grant him what he deserves, before giving him the money.

When I told my family what happened that day, my dad and brother told me I should stop being naive.

But then this isn’t about me alone. There was the lady who bought water and glucose for the guy, who gave out her phone to make calls, there was Amina who went to a further extent of calling her mom, who also had to leave her job place to come help this guy, there was the biology teacher, the college boy, the Barawa guy who gave out his money…Sometimes I wonder if they ever heard the Pharmacists words what would they say? Or feel? Or perhaps how would it change their perspective to humanity and humans? True, sometimes humans don’t deserve humanity…

We complain of how humanity has died but there are so many good people out there. But it is still us humans who kill the remaining perks of faith that we have in humanity. Again and again, we have broken the trust and the chains connecting us. I remember another friend once told me of how someone orchestrated their own death and went to an extra mile of letting out photos to prove the death. Only for the family to find out it was a huge lie in the name of revenge for a fight that happened. Tell me, who does that? Put your own family through such kind of pain cause of a fight?

This is how when someone calls wolf…we are barely ever going to believe it anymore. Because we have reduced humanity into nothing by just putting up an award winning drama. This is how to kill humanity in a moment….

P.S My intention in writing this story is to not show what I did or what my friend did or what others did. Far from it, this can serve a lesson for those who believe what they see easily. You need to be alert out there. We have cons and real psychos out there. You need to be careful…And that there are so many kind people ready to help but we are the ones who break them by killing the little left humanity in them…

Nonetheless, may God bless every single kind soul that helped out that day and every other day. They are the only hope we have in humanity.

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Creative Non-Fiction

REALITY BEHIND THE FRIEND ZONES

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One of the craziest thing in 21st Century are the friend zone memes. They are hilarious, heart-felt by many people and just one other way to make the sad situation of rejection sound funny. Well the memes afterwards escalated. It came to bro zone/sis zone (which is considered worse than friend zone) life zone, neighbour zone, mzee wa mtaa zone (the guy who is always approached by his female friend to solve her couple problems), father zone etc etc. You know at one moment we all did that ‘moment of silence’ thingy for all the bros in the friend zone…and behind most of the ‘hahaha’ and ‘HA HA HA’ in the comment section of friend zone memes there is a lot of pain hidden.

 

does-the-friend-zone-exist

So recently there has been too much excitement on the net of the newly found logo for friend zone (which is the most common zone. I guess the root zone?). And it’s so hilarious how people actually believe that such logos are necessary?

3861a50700000578-0-image-a-13_1473929497887

As much as I find the memes to be hilarious, I don’t believe in the literal existence of these zones. I don’t believe in a corner where a nice guy is shoved in simply because he is too much a friend. Let’s be realistic, open minded and honest here. We all have what we look for in a partner or what makes a potential spouse. So…

does-the-friend-zone-really-exist

No such thing as friend zone because I believe in personal preferences, choices, fate, priorities and decisions and not the life zones we justify with. You could be yearning for a partner with sparkling beauty yet she could be searching for a man with brains like Einstein? You could be after a man with an ambition while he is after a woman with twice his ambition? You could be after a lady with principles yet she is after a man with religion? Someone is checking his bank balance and someone else is after his humility. It all depends on personal emotions and interests, otherwise, everyone out there can be a potential partner. It’s nothing to do with anyone being in any zone. It’s all a matter of if someone has an interest in you or not. It is all a matter of compatibility and bonding on another level. It is about having someone to spend your entire life with. And sometimes, that lady or guy in the friend zone or bro zone or whatever wouldn’t be the best choice. IT IS THAT SIMPLE.

You could be the sweetest peach as they say, the nicest guy but maybe you just don’t have the one thing she has prioritized in a partner. There is no way around it. And most of the times people only try to be nice and not hurt anyone’s ego by telling them ‘You are my good friend’ or whatever people say. They just don’t want you to feel like something is wrong with you or you are not worth them; it’s all about what their choices are and sometimes it is as much difficult for them too to make such decisions.

It is okay to console yourself with the memes, to embrace your pain and to laugh about it because you are not alone. But no it’s not okay to use it as a justification of why someone was rejected. See that guy who made it out of the bro zone? The silly girl finally realized his worth and perhaps understood that what is missing in him; he’s got something better. Not just because he squeezed himself out of the tight corner called bro zone. It is because she has now made her choice and made him a priority.

One other thing that people never consider is that however CLOSE you are to another person, when it comes to the real deal of making someone your life time partner, things change. High-peaked emotions are included here. The way a guy is with his girl best friend is not exactly the same way he would be if the same girl became his partner. This is because we now have expectations, deeper attachment, love associated with every action. So yeah it IS different…and sometimes, people are better off as they are, where they are; in those hypothetical zones.

If you want to deal with this kind of rejection then you have to believe in the choices others make even if they are not the best for you. You have to believe in fate; in accepting that not everything is going to go as you wish. That sometimes the person you see the best for you is actually not the best? That maybe that person is just not ready for such commitment or they already have a lot on their plate and cannot be emotionally available? That everything happens for are a reason. That perhaps God is saving you a whole lot of pain that would come from being with that person. Well it is difficult no doubt but if you want to get over this, you better find a better reason to justify your rejection rather than the zones. Because all these zones? They don’t exist…

 

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CHANGE VS CONSISTENCY

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Photo Courtesy: http://www.houzz.com/

 

Is there a difference between Change and Consistency? Most of the times I like to remain indifferent about Change and Consistency….I mean some of you might as well say yeah there is…but I feel at times that the pros of consistency are the cons of change…and vice versa. Think of it this way a caterpillar turning into a butterfly…that’s change yeah? Is it good? Totally. Then there’s consistency…lionesses hunt….and it’s been that way since forever…is it bad? No it’s not. Supposing lionesses thought like humans and there’s feminism in Pride Land…Okay? No. I am sure you now know why I am not a fan of being in a debate about Change and Consistency.

 

So like in life, take metarmophosis for example. Is that developing or changing? I mean…you’re the same YOU…but in a different way….wait…isnt that what change it is? Confusing right?

 

The other day, I was catching up with friends and we had a conversation that was brought up with you know…ahh 5 years ni miaka mingi…unkua…you no longer have that kiddish face…unkaa mtu mzima (P.S she was probably referring to the fact that I had my mtandio intact ?…high school was ish ish…or maybe I am no longer the reckless girl who came in class with zero fucks given on how short my jilbab was or missing the scarf. Thank you Anisa for always having an extra one for me for Mondays and Thursdays ?) Anyways, we got into talking about life. How it was different from what we expected and what we did not and so automatically we ended up talking about marriage.

When do you know you’re ready to get married? How is marriage life different from not-commited life? From the stories and experiences we had…I can strongly conclude Marriage Life is another hell for people who grew up with strict and at the same time conservative parents and family.

 

I don’t know…it’s probably norms and cultures…like if you get married you’re expected to cook, give birth, raise kids, take care of your husband and suddenly it’s a routine. (Wenyewe wasema ni ulezi). Do not get me wrong. I am not saying any of that is bad….actually it’s very good. Almost as good as it being part and parcel of the marriage package deal. The question however remains to be; does it have to be the only stuff you do in your marriage? Like wake up in the morning get the kids and the Mr. ready for school and work or whatever. Go to work(or not). Come back home and cook for them, help them with homework or work related stuff (again or not). Eat. Sleep. Wake up the following morning and it’s literally your cycle of life. The best you get when you have a free time is watch you-tube videos on make-up tutorials or cook shows. Hah! My friend,she put it like whenever you’re free…you find fascination on curtains or furniture or this blouse I bought or usitumie mchele A for mkate wa sinia ukitumia B yawa laini zaidi). You should’ve heard say that btw. ???

 

In my perspective. I think alot of marriages do not work because wallahy I feel that that cycle is a wastage of the wife’s entire life. It’s probably 98% of the reasons why husbands go outside to look for other women…like say  these free and hyper and crazed up girls because they’re full of life and energy and are not boring. (Consistency not good here yeah? I thought so too.)

I am absolutely 95% sure the make up or the blouses and deras and thobes we ladies get are not even for the Mr. If they’re not for weddings and functions( which 100% certain your husband isn’t attending) then it’s for show off to your girls and it’s for the typical swahili culture (ahh mashallah mume wake amtizama uzuri.) Wake up woman! You’re way more than just that. I mean dress up. No one is denying you that right…but why do you have to do it for people. It’s okay if you’re creative and into interior fashion and architectural designing…but those need not be your purpose in life. Contour and higlight your face and at the same time be a mechanical engineer. Cook like one would say it tastes like maiden and at the same time be that on call doctor who gets a midnight call to go do an emergency surgery. Seriously lady…you went to school. Before marriage you had visions and dreams. Just like they say you should not put marriage on hold because of education don’t you dare put an end to your education, dreams and visions just because of marriage life. Just like you’re the mother to the kids…he is the father. Just like you can cook so can he (or learn..ddduuhhh there’s  Chef Ali Mandhry…he cooks and a half). Just like you can take the kids to school and help them with homework so can he. Am not saying go all feminist on him. Take atleast 65% of the works needed in refining your marriage life…but dude…while looking after the kids and the Mr.; use the remaining 35% to fucking look after yourself too. Update yourself because marriage was not meant to introduce you to a new version and set you to a default. You do not want to stay behind, because this world is dynamic and change is a must…or is it consistency (like before marriage you were someone with goals therefore keep goaling)?

 

P.S I am not promoting feminism. I am promoting consistency or change or whatever.

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5 REASONS YOU NEED TO DO CHARITY MORE

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Photo Courtesy: http://www.4charity.com/

Charity never required you to be rich or super holy or an angel in disguise or even an extremely empathetic person. It never required you to have any special talents or skills to give a hand to anyone. You don’t have to have more than you need to give but actually the best kind of charity is that which you give when you have little yourself.

Charity does good to us more than we assume or presume. It is never only about doing good to the next person but also about what it has done to us. It is not only about how happy you made that person by handing them cash that they badly needed, or how your smile made them feel better on that bad day or how you helping that old man cross the road saved him a lot of energy. Let’s talk about you now. Let’s talk about why you need to do more charity to please your God and own soul more than anyone else.

1.Charity is just one of those things that lights up your heart once you do it. It doesn’t matter how evil you think you are, you want to feel better about yourself? Feeling low and awful about yourself? Give charity, help whenever you can. It is never limited to money. Do good generally and see how it makes you feel like an angel that just dropped from the sky 😀 For real though, it has an amazing effect.

2.Think of it this way; God has chosen you to be the reason someone is eating a great lunch today or someone is happy or someone is finally able to buy those medicines they weren’t able to buy in forever. You are not doing that person any favour by the way, you are there because you were meant to be there. It is part of God’s great plan that you be the one to save the day. Doesn’t that make you feel like a ‘mini-messiah’? lol It should be a big deal to you actually; that God has chosen you from many of His creatures, to be the one to do the good to someone on such and such a day. So never hesitate to give that 10 or 20 shillings. Trust me, it does make a difference to the person begging out there (the genuine beggars that is, not these people who are just greedy and never have enough of what they have). So give, give, give!

3.It’s time to reach out to your soul. Your inner self has been yearning for some attention from you. It needs you to look into the dust and mess that is within…and that is what charity helps you do; mirror yourself!! When you keep helping people around; the sick, the orphans, the needy, it makes you think more deeply about the state of your soul, how good am I? how much more do I need to do to get my soul into the peace of mind that it needs. Charity can act as food for your soul. It makes you genuinely happy about who you are and what you do? It makes your soul bloom like a Spring flower, so what are you waiting for?! 😉

4.It makes you aware of how many blessings you have. I know you have heard of this several times before but seriously, it isn’t a lie is it? Whenever you reach out to people, even by just giving them valuable advice, you realize that many, MANY other people out there are having it rough than you. You help an old man cross the road, you realize how difficult it is for him to move around with how busy our roads are and how rough our drivers are. You feed someone hungry you realize that you have no right to whine over the breakfast that you missed…etc etc. Every single person we meet has a story and the more you scrutinize the world and explore the ways of humanity, the more you realize how you have no right to complain about the problems that you have.

5.The rewards? Of course from God you never miss your goodie pack. Blessings will shower on you like the fourteen falls 😉 Especially on such blessed days like of Dhul hijjah, what are you waiting for?!

Need I say more then? Just remember that whenever you do charity or good, you are doing it for yourself more than to the person. Keep doing good, be good and let good keep rolling your way!

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WHERE CHASTITY AND DIGNITY LIES

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Photo Courtesy: http://www.duniavvanita.com/

Well this is a very sensitive topic that I would rather not talk about at any other time because it draws a lot of attention, judgement and even when not intentional, it tends to step on people’s toes. However, I got a request this morning that I should write about it and I agreed. I guess the end justifies the means, which is speaking out openly in this case and hopefully, opening the eyes of our younger sisters and brothers out there.

Okay, I get it, we all do mistakes in our lives and perhaps letting go of your virginity at such an early age was one of them. I am not about to judge you, mock you or even condemn you because I know for a fact that everyone knows what is wrong and what is right. All I am hoping is that you are not going to tag others along in this mess of yours (for those who fall here that is). That just because someone broke your virginity you decide to break everyone else’s too.

Okay again, perhaps this is 21st Century where no one is allowed to ‘interfere’ with your personal life, not even your parents. I also get it that this is the era where everywhere you go, all that you read says, ‘BE YOURSELF. DO WHAT YOU WANT. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE’ bla bla bla. Well yeah, these quotes may contain truths in them but it never really justifies lack of chastity. And as I had previously written about the Bermuda love triangles in my article ‘THE ERA TO NOT RUSH INTO MARRIAGE’, it is really scary that the person you trust with the most precious thing which is your chastity, is not only sharing a bed with you but with several other girls or boys too. And as they all say it…once you are into the game then there is very little chance that you are ever going to call it quits. Well, the mistake has already been made. Perhaps once, twice, or several more times but what are you planning to keep for your husband/wife? What is left anyway? If it is your beauty then everyone can see that. If it is your money then anyone can use that. But your chastity? Your virginity? That is just the one thing that is meant for only one person; your spouse. And I am intentionally generalizing the sexes here because very few parents actually care about their sons’ chastity. It is made to seem OK. Just because they are the men of the house? Or because there is no way to prove their lack of chastity unless they say it themselves? But how then are we ever going to convince our younger sisters and our daughters to remain chaste and hold onto their dignity while they see their brothers sleeping around with different girlfriends every two months and sometimes even with married women/men?

Love? Don’t blame love for your lust. Don’t even try to justify yourself with, ‘she is my true love. We’ve been dating for five years..bla bla bla’ even if you’ve been dating for a whole lifetime, it still isn’t right, culturally, religiously and even morally. Previously, when I was younger, I used to wonder why parents used to make such a big deal after a girl is married and the husband reports that she was a virgin. Like why such a fuss? Isn’t that how it is supposed to be? But then I grew up and reality of the world struck; youth have made consummation a life goal just when they hit 18. Or is it 16? Well for the Western world it goes lower than that. So perhaps it does deserve all that excitement; their child has done the one thing that children nowadays can rarely do; abstain.

Dear girl, boy, man, woman who is still saving himself/herself for her spouse, be proud of yourself. Be really proud because right now, you are among the rarest gems. Keep holding your head up and never let your guard down. Never feel left out or embarrassed that you still don’t know how the intimacy world looks like or feels like. You eventually will; when the right time comes and with the right person. But most importantly, pray really hard to God that you don’t slip like many did. That you remain as chaste and majestic as you are now because Satan strikes when you least expect it. So yes, pray that God gives you the strength to get rid of all temptations and that He grants you a spouse that you rightfully deserve.

As for the one who has already made the mistake, I hope you are not convincing yourself with, ‘I was perfecting the art for my spouse.’ Sweetheart, stop lying to yourself. How much do you think your husband is going to value you when he realizes you are used material? Even if he loves you so much it is never going to be the same. The same applies to the man. Nonetheless, if you have decided to let the past mistakes remain there and let bygones be bygones, then well and good, you have done the right thing. You may have lost something but you can always be better than the rest. And that is by repenting, growing closer to God and avoiding repetition of your past mistakes. And one more thing too is to try and advise your friends and young ones to not fall into the same trap as you once did.

Not to sound too holy, judgmental or anything, i’d like to end this with a quote by Ezra Taft Benson: ‘The moral code of Heaven for both men and women is complete chastity before marriage and full fidelity after marriage.’

P.S. This article does not include the rape and sodomized victims. By all means, we know it is never their fault.

May God guide us all. Ameen.

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DEAR MINI-HALFIES

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Dear mini-halfies,

Due to contigency purposes, I felt the need to address certain issues that are not too ephemeral to be discussed and analysed in accordance to the “parenting book.”

You need to know, if Twitter and Facebook still exists or maybe new social networks of your time have the ‘trend’ thingy, you will suffer the ordeal of trending #growingupwithstrictparents. See your aunts (your uncles’wives) say am the strict one. In my defence, I wanted your then little cousins to grow up true to themselves. This pretty much lets you know that if I was strict then, you guys stand absolutely no chance of having it easy.

Not to scare you guys or ‘hate’ on me for that matter, but to make you realize what you’re really made of.

I want you guys to grow up morally stable, have buckets full of self esteem and have complete faith on what you can be up against.I mean I would take kindness over smart any day any time, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be hard on you so you can be able to realize when someone needs you and when someone  uses you to accrue their needs. I would love for you guys to grow up with your own definition of personality and not what society makes you, because trust me when I tell you from my experience that she is one hypocritical and double standard bitch. She’ll tell you to be yourself and then judge you for it. So I want you to do what your gut and what your Deen says is right. (Praying hard I do good by you when it comes to your Deen and its teachings)

 

I will base this entire letter to you for when you’re a teenager to young adult period because it is the hardest of all phases of growth and development. I remember this one time your aunts,uncles and I pissed off dad so much while we were under his care so he went “Amma give each one of you an equal share of the estate and what you do with it will be non of my concern and do not look for me when you’re sucked dry.” So you get how serious shit becomes when we’re there.

 

I wanna raise you guys equally, without favoring any of you according to gender. And am not talking feminism, am talking equal chances and belief that you can pull of whatever you’re supposed to. Of course I will always be there to help out.

 

I wanna be there for you, you know how people say they wanna be bestfriends with their kids? I wanna be that too, but that does not mean I will let you do stuff just because you’ll  be mad at me. I wanna be that friend who’s older…I reckon you know how that works. I will not be upset that you find it easier to talk to your friend or even your dad (God bless that poor soul). I just want you to know that I will always be there for you…at all times.

 

Dear XY, you know how they say guys should man up…I don’t want you to hold back stuff just because you feel its a guy thing. There is no such thing as a guy thing when it comes to feelings, whether positive or negative. I want you to feel with every fibre of your being and act on them as wisely as it should be (Again, friendly reminder that I will always be there to help you sort out on your own terms with alittle help…two heads are better than one…or this case three…supposing your dad needs to be involved.)

 

I know we’d fight…and we’d fight alot because when you turn 13 or so and that voice of yours breaks and becomes the ugliest of all bass notes and your shoulders go all broad, you’d think for yourself that ‘you’re the man’. I want you to keep in mind that to me you’re still that little boy I spent nights nursing because dammit you lots’ immunity is as low whatever you can take for a simile…and if need be amma scruff you by your collar like a cat does it’s kitten and lead you back to your room so you figure your shit out and set it straight. You will not get an upper hand or the advantage over your sister(s) and that just because you’re male, you dominate the household or will have an excess of the freedom allowed. I will try my best to raise you and your sisters to be equally responsible to your actions.

I know I cannot talk much about you, because norms depict that you’re your dad’s responsibility. I, however would like to tell you that you can come to me when something is off and not working out. Like I said before about manning up. I don’t care what ‘the male code’ dictates…I want you to talk to me about how Math and Physics are not your favorite subjects and how painting or writing gives you the serenity your heart and soul needs. I want to be there for you when that girl you like friend zones you or she breaks your heart by cheating on you. (I pray I would’ve done good by you so you know your priorities…but this is an unavoidable phase you’ll pass anyway.) And when this phase reaches, I want you to tell your testosterone levels to take down a notch. I would not want to find out you played someone’s daughter and made her literally feel like someone is shovelling out her heart. I would want you to honour girls….because reflect on where you came from. I wanna instil in you the knowledge that a lady is far more superior to you in all aspects except perhaps BMR and body builds. I want to teach you to be humble and not be lied to by the fact that gender is basing you superior. I want to teach you nobility and load you with respect to anyone and everyone. I want you to be the  son and the brother your sibling(s), your dad and I will be proud of. I want you to grow up being able to act wisely and use your brain and sometimes heart where need be. Trust me when I say you will clash alot with your dad, and probably feel misunderstood; and out of rage and spite you’d want to get back at him. My brothers used to keep their hair to weird levels or go shave weird and dad would be so mad he would tell mum “zungumza na mwanao, mwambie staki kumuona ndani ya nyumba yangu with that haircut.”(???) See that’s our predicament. Us women are that unlucky…when you guys turn out good…you’re your dad’s boys…and when it’s the other way around…it’s the mother’s boys and fault the boys turned that way. I want you to know how to work on the issues…I am 80% sure you’d not want to discuss stuff with me because “moooom it’s gross.” I just need you to know you can talk to me about it. I will try giving you a hint here…if you’re  probably too embarrassed to ask…just ask anyway…instead use a third party or ask in hypothetical sense. Or find another way to ask me to talk to you about it. ( I know you’re a smart kid, and you will get the message delivered.) I do not want to overtake your dad’s responsibility or share on how to teach you stuff. I just want you to know that I will help you whenever there’s a fog of tension between you two. I promise to sit us both down and talk and smooth issues over. No judgements no blaming whatsoever. We would both accept and own up to our mistakes and apologize where necessary.

 

Dear XX, apparently norm and culture has it that you’re to be raised in an uptight lifestyle. I hope and pray that I would’ve done good by you on Deen too so you know when and when not to act impulsively. I will tell you one thing, Your grandfather, we grew up almost unable to differentiate whether it was respect or fear we had for him. Am not saying he was a bad person, he was sooo great I spent half the time wishing and praying I got a husband like him (No offence XY snr if you didn’t turn out like him…you’re probably greater than him.) My dad, he used to be strict and very opinionated sometimes, like he would say he’s letting you speak up your terms when you argue about something, but do what he feels like because it’s right. I know in his perspective it was, and so help us God it could be he was right and I was wrong, but I promise I would back you up on what we agree to agree on or agree to disagree on. Again about equal chances with your brother(s)….I will try hard to keep my word. I will not judge you by “your dressing is immoral because your bra strap is showing or your head scarf is off the scale and let his boxer be seen because he decided he’ll pull his trouser ‘a little down’ or put on a t-shirt sooo tight it makes his chest cavity suffocated….(none of you are doing this under my watch btw, or whatever would be trappily trendy in your generation) Or let him have a girlfriend and then be up my sleeve when you have a crush on this cute guy from school or Madrasa and want to pursue him. (Again I pray that I would’ve done good by you when it comes to Deen. May Allah make it easy for both of us)

 

Sometimes I feel bad for you because your grandmother and I were soo close. We would talk from boys to life, to how I felt that she was being mean or hard on me . (This does not mean there were times we did not have heated arguments that lead to me shutting the door and blast my phone high up on  music.) You know how you have an argument and when it’s over you wish you should’ve said something ‘better’ as a comeback? She used to come back waaaaay after the “war” was over and start from A. Sometimes you just let her talk, vent out…so you just say ‘ma…sema audhubillah…or sometimes I would go with ‘oe cheki ma, me naenda zangu…ukijiskia ushacool call me’ and that automatically shut her up. When we didn’t get along (for one reason or another) I complained alot to my late aunty Zou (‘O Allaah, forgive and have mercy upon her, excuse her and pardon her, and make honorable her reception. Expand her entry, and cleanse her with water, snow, and ice, and purify her of sin as a white robe is purified of filth. Exchange her home for a better home, and her family for a better family, and her spouse for a better spouse. Admit her into the Garden, protect her from the punishment of the grave and the torment of the Fire.’ Ameen) and she used to tell me mzoee/muelewe mama…she’s getting old…and she used to tell me stories of how she felt way back on how mom treated her because she was basically raised by her; and she would tell me that it was for my own good because “look how great I turned into” Enough about the bad sides yeah? Because if I am to count, the best of my memories includ mom in them. And I love her alot for her existence. I pray I become a better mother to you.

 

I know there is going to be a time your friends will seem to understand you more than any one of us in the house. You will probably have fights with me. It could be something as trivial as not leaving the dirty clothes in the laundry basket, or as huge as you skipping classes because your favourite artist is in town. (I hope we never get there.) We could fight endlessly but at the end of the day I want to be the one you wanna talk it out with. There are probably times when you’re all grown up and start falling for guys. I will not judge you for it, because it’s a normal thing. I know you’d go lengths to pursue your feelings. Fine too but please be cautious. I know you’d deny it when I will confront you about it, for reasons you know best. (I know it could be because you’re afraid am gonna take away your electronics or stalk you or whatever method parents will be using then but i want you to know, I will be there for you. P.S I know I will totally disapprove you getting into a relationship, I don’t even need to sugar coat it but we will work it out together and resolve it to the best way possible) When it happens and doesn’t work out as planned, say this guy you sort of like did something to hurt you and you’re too proud to talk to me because you know I will obviously hit you with the mother of all I TOLD YOU SO’s…I want you to know that I will not let you cry yourself to sleep. I will let you cry, but I will also be there ready to take you out for ice-cream or whatever junk that will make you feel better.

I know you’ll have friends, and you will probably have get togethers or need to ‘chill’ and get those squad selfies because squad goals? Yeah… I want you to know that there are times I will tell you no, and I would expect you to accept and cooperate. Okay? If you ask me why I will not tell you it’s because you’ve gone out alot lately, but you will have to have earned the permission. Take it like positive and negative conditioning….where one gets rewarded for something or gets their rewards taken away for a wrong they did or a right they did not do. Again I know we will fight alot here but it is what it is. Hail Sigmund Freud! (Don’t worry, this will serve both you and XY)

Still on the fights between you and I, I want us both, after a time out and each of us has had their clarity and sanity back to face and own up to our mistakes. We would both or one of us say something hurtful to the other. I want us to work it out together. Please do not walk out on me when we’re in between an argument. Please lets consider and reverse the situations. I know I will give you the chance to speak out your mind and we can even point out each others mistakes (Tactics on the how to will come when the need be.) I want us to have a family where no ones opinion is undermined or stepped on or considered irrelevant. There are times I am probably going to be the hugest pain in the butt and even my breathing near you would be so annoying, I want you to know those are just hormones. You’d probably be wondering why I am stressing so much on fights…this is because I have had a share of living with my parents, and when I complained because I felt misunderstood Fatma( I hope and pray you get to meet her…amazing lady…God bless her) would tell me after giving birth to your own child, you get to see life in your mom’s eyes and you’d never wish to say or do anything to hurt her feelings. This sort of seeped through and I tried hard when we argued with mom to try to understand her…but sometimes shit happens and you just get out of control. I wanna let you know that you would not know this by then and God knows I did not know anything about mothering when I wrote you this letter, but I hope our fights will not escalate to points where you’d wanna leave and be somewhere without your family. Because I love you that much. Even if I did not say it when we were fighting. I would not want to make you cry or you me…because I am not sure if there’s ever coming back from that. I remember one day mum said/did something that I felt so hurt by it I ended up saying wallahy sikusamehi…I immediately regretted saying that because there was that pained look on her face. It was soooo down and deep it made me want to turn back time and take back my words but Alas! God knows she probably would’ve given anything for me to say I didn’t mean it and by God I did(mean it at that moment); but it was too little too late. So yes…I would like for us to measure our words and be cautious of what we throw at each other.

 

I wanna teach you both to live by your Deen and follow rasoul’s teachings. I don’t know alot of stuff but I know some stuff…and I would want you to learn from me and your dad. I wanna be the mother you mini-halfies would be proud to have. I wanna teach you so many things that if I were to count I would probably bore you to the core, but I want us to teach us all the things and everything we know. But most of all I wanna teach you to be your true self.  This lady on Instagram (@nikitagill) I like once wrote about colors and she went ahead and wrote “This world isn’t made of shades of gray. It is made of colors like azure and coral and emerald and marigold, but it insists on painting everything in black and white and fitting it into boxes that it understands. Do not do that to yourself. Paint your personality a million different colors. Leave them scratching their heads, unsure of how to handle the magic that you are.” It is okay to be weird or odd or depressed or schizoic or introverted,to be happy, sensitive, meek and all other adjectives that are deemed unnormal by society because it means you’re human and a classic one because the rest are all basic. It means you can feel and that is all that is important and matters. I will tell you while growing up I was different. I still am but that did not make me live up to people’s expectations, because at the end of the day they will still judge you; and since that b#$ch judges your character and personality by your parents-and not considering in mind that you guys probably spend many hours away from us-I give you guys permission to be whatever you want. I want you to be shy but bold, to be quiet but at the same time speak up, to be feeble but by all means courageous all the way and to never let any muģgle put you dow; because darlings, you’re the incomprehendable galaxy in the universe that is my life. I wanna teach you guys all the rhymes, read books to you (doesn’t matter religious or otherwise)play board games or weird games I got on TV shows like ‘Pictionary’ or ‘I spy with my little eye’. I know there is a time you guys will grow up and everything we used to do together will feel childish, but I want you to remember that it is what brought us together in the first place. I do not want you kids to drift away from me your dad and among yourselves and seek solace in friends and get safe havens that do not include me and/or your dad and sibling(s). I mean I get why you would want friends…but I want you to know that I will always be there when you come back from that rough phase you had to encounter and I promise to work it out together. I love you. I have loved you even before I was sure I was gonna have you, but that’s not the point. I want this letter to be a reminder to me too. I want it to be a reminder of how I longed for you. I want it to be a reminder for me, for when I am about to give up on you guys.( I pray we don’t get there…Allahumma Ameen). I want it to be a reminder to you, that if we ever have a fight and you wanna give up on me…remember I thought of this way before I even met the guy you call dad and wrote you this way before I got married to the guy you call dad. I want you to know that I was once your age…and I probably went through this phase rougher than you because I perhaps never got to work things out with my parents. I want you to know that I was afraid for you. Still am. It is a maternal feeling and I sort of know this because God let me witness what parenting is all about with your cousins before I got to have you guys. I want to let you know that there is nothing I won’t do to see you happy (obviously you misbehaving while at it doesn’t count). And last but not least…and probably the most important of all things, I wanna leave you with this hadith

ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺪﺧﻞ ﺍﻟﺠﻨﺔ ﺗﻘﻮﻯ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻭﺣﺴﻦ ﺍﻟﺨﻠﻖ

I want you to live by this hadith…or at least try your very best to live up to this hadith…because Jannah is our final destination. May Allah re-unite us all in Jannah.

 

 

Lots of Love,

MOM

(Yeah I know at this age you’d probably be tired of all my “nagging and constant rants” you’d be calling me “birthgiver” well guess what….I am okay with whatever makes you feel great about yourself ?)

P.S I love you alot and may Allah be with you throughout???

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THE WORLD OF OLYMPICS, ATHLETICS AND NICE SHOES

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Photo Courtesy: Unknown

Olympics is my favourite season. If you agree that Olympics is the better season than world cup then raise your hand and scream ‘yeah!’ 😀 Oh well, Olympics has it’s own thrill even if the ‘world cuppers’ don’t agree. I love world cup but Olympics; I just love it way more 😉 It’s not really a surprise that I love Olympics, I dream of watching it live and I wish I could be an Olympics athlete too HA HA HA; I will tell you why.

My dad has always been my hero before Usain Bolt or David Rudisha or even Michael Phelps. I just get too excited when I hear him talk of his days as the champion. They call him ‘Jaguar’. The most thrilling part of his stories is not exactly when he explains how he had to be chained up by his own father at the stairs so he wouldn’t go play football or when he shows you his scars…it is when you hear his old friends talk about him. So on this fine day I went for a job interview and during the introduction, I mentioned my father’s name of course. The boss said, ‘wait…Abdulhalim? Jaguar?’ And I am like ‘yeah’. He started praising my dad’s talent and explaining how he would make the entire crowd chant his name ‘Jaguar’. So you can imagine, I am right there, doing an interview and the boss starts getting excited about my dad. It actually made me wish I knew my father since back then. But still, this wasn’t the most interesting part. Some other day I went into the same office and another school mate of my father was there too. The boss started,

“Do you know whose daughter this is?”

“Who?”

“Jaguar!”

“Oh Jaguar!!! He used to break his own records during school days. I doubt that anyone ever broke his records to date.”

I started laughing as they went on explaining how fast my dad would run, or how good he was in the football pitch…oh, not forgetting swimming. He was just that talented all-round athlete. I remember laughing until my cheeks were aching. I was proud. I’ve always been but the most unfortunate thing about my dad is that he got a bunch of girls and one boy who have little or zero talent in sports compared to him. My sisters and I all participated in different sports during high school; the gene is still there only that it is a very tiny bit of it. So I may not be sportish but I love sports. I love the thrill. I love watching footballers do their training. I love watching the fans cry and scream with excitement. Oh my, I love the shoes; I really love the ‘nikes’ and ‘adidases’ on display. As they say, Olympics is the biggest stage for sneakers, you bet they are right! I love seeing anything that looks like a sport. So for me and for my family, Olympics is family time. We would sit together and cheer for the Kenyans and our other favourite athletes, stay up late and enjoy one sport after another. Oh yeah; this is the world of Olympics.

Olympics is not only about the marathon, the races or the swimming. It is made up of so many sports that can just amaze and amuse you. All the way from archery (where we had a Kenyan Muslim girl participant; Shehzana Anwar), basketball, badminton, beach volleyball, Synchronized swimming (which just seems too artistic to not fall in love with), swimming, gymnastics (one of my favourites too), cycling, trampoline (awesome!!), triathlon, wrestling, rowing, long jump etc etc.  This time we had Palestine bringing in 6 participants and Refugee Olympic athletes, 10 of them, isn’t that inspiring?! You see all this and you would be mind-blown at how people are so talented and skilled in this world. Welcome to Rio Olympics 2016!!

It’s so much fun watching David Rudisha break his own record in 800 men’s, watching Jemima Sumgong win the first gold for Kenya ever in Olympics women’s marathon, watch Usain Bolt win his 3rd consecutive gold in the Olympics 100 meter titles. Well the thing about Usain Bolt; he never disappoints his fans and he has the coolest celebration signature ever.

On the other hand, Michael Phelps will be taking home 5 gold medals and 1 silver after being defeated in the 100 M butterfly by Joseph Schooling from Singapore who happens to consider Phelps as his childhood idol. For Michael though, he says he is done. This is his last Olympics and well, why not? His performances cemented his title as the greatest swimmer of all time, winning 28 medals throughout his career, 23 of them gold.

There is so much inspiration in the Olympics, so much to learn from the champions. Simone Manuel became the first African-American woman to win an individual Olympic medal in swimming Thursday night, tying for gold in the 100-meter freestyle with Penny Oleksiak of Canada. Or on the case of Mo Farah of Britain who fell down half-way during  the 10th lap in the 10,000 meter race yet still the gold placing our own, Tanui from Kenya as the silver medalist. Etenesh Diro got a stand ovation from the crowd after losing one shoe during the 3000 meters steeplechase heat yet still emerging number 7 out of 17 participants. After an appeal from her team, Diro was among the lucky ones to proceed to the finals. With one shoe, or no shoe at all, you gotta stand up again!

Back to our Kenyans, we have 5 medals until now; 2 gold and 3 silver placing us at number 18 which is not bad 😀 Leading is United States with 75 medals. However, for Kenyans we still have hope in the upcoming events including the athletics happening today. Perhaps even by the time you read this, more medals will have already been won Amen!

Okay now people, as much as our Kenyans have poor English speaking skills, let us admit that the bigger problem is the accent rather than the English grammar itself. I mean did you hear this Rwandan athlete who was being interviewed and he was like, ‘I ran I ran I raaannnnn, I enjoyed I enjooyeeeddd’ lol. So yeah, at least our Kenyans are trying. They are bringing you medals, what more do you want!

Anyway besides that, Deputy president Ruto joined athletes in a jog in Rio, warned dishonest sports managers and also said the government has increased the award package for Olympics medal winners to Sh1 million for gold medalists, Sh750,000 for silver and Sh500,000 for bronze. Oh well, isn’t that so juicy?! Especially since Kenya has sent quite a crowd over there. Though I think an appeal should be made for the marathon runners. I mean come on, how does someone running 42.195 kilometres marathon win the same prices with someone winning in 100 meters?! Eish! These athletes deserve double award! I mean, didn’t you see Jemima shed tears as the Kenyan flag was raised?! She deserves a greater token lol.

With that much said, let us enjoy the few remaining days of Olympics and most of all, let us learn from these champions and their stories of failure and success! As for my dad, I am just hoping my son will be the one to get that precious sportish gene from him, ameen!!!

For now it is, ‘Go Kenya Go!!’

 

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Creative Non-Fiction

THE ERA TO NOT RUSH INTO MARRIAGE

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Photo: Unknown

I actually love seeing young happy couples together. By couples I mean married of course. I don’t really mind seeing a 20 year old already in her home and happy with her life. What? Are you surprised? You expect me to condemn such ‘kids’ to have their own families? I won’t. If the two can sustain each other’s needs and are responsible enough then why not?

There is also another scenario of young girls who do not want to study. Who are not interested in studying. Who do not want to even get a job and do something with their life. If this was your daughter what do you do with her? Ground her for a month? Take her phone? Forbid her friends from visiting her? Drag her to school and waste your school fees? Force her to go do a job? You do this to an 18 year old then you are just making her become rebellious. Do that to a boy he becomes twice as rebellious. And you know what young people do when they become rebellious? They do all that would hurt you, annoy you, piss you off completely. They will join bad gangs, have bad friends, get into drugs, partying and illicit intercourse.

Of course as a parent you are to do your very best in convincing and persuading and advising and threatening if necessary to make them realize that they are wasting their life away but if worse gets to worst and you see the young man or girl has made up her mind to be and do nothing then give her something worthwhile to be. Let her be someone’s wife. Let her be a mother. Not as a punishment though cause that way it also won’t work. Don’t push her to get married to escape your own responsibility. Don’t let her frustrate someone’s son because you couldn’t handle her (same applies to a stubborn young man). Let her get into marriage if that is what she is interested in or perhaps she can do well in.

How many times have we seen very poor performing girls becoming best of house wives and best of cooks and best of mothers? Not all children are blessed in academics but they could be blessed in their ability to take up such home responsibilities; the home science. If she is capable enough then why not? If the man marrying her is good enough then why not? If they are both happy with the decision then why not? Isn’t it better than letting her waste away with men? Isn’t being a mother the most noble career of all?? Well of course we can’t compare the older generations (where our mothers could get married at 16 and still be exemplary women in the society) to the spoilt dot com kids who can barely do anything by themselves. But there are some few young girls who still carry that old gene of being responsible when it comes to home affairs. Plus, apart from that, we have those who got married at such early ages and still went on pursuing their dreams, studies and careers!

Okay, now that I have made that point clear, let’s come back to the main topic. That this is not the era to rush into marriage! Ironic right? Yes, let me explain why.

Nowadays, we no longer have love triangles. We have Bermuda love triangles. Correction again; the Bermuda lust triangles. I say Bermuda because it’s other name is called the ‘devil’s triangle’. Perhaps that is what defines what exactly is happening among’st us currently.

You know like A and B are a married couple. They seem to be quite happy. But A is also secretly dating C who is a co-worker to B. And B also ‘has a thing’ for D. And D is the ex of C. C on the other hand is also seeing F who is the cousin to B. Oh and before I forget, A also had a one night stand with G. F also had a thing with both H and I who apparently all are friends. You get the scenario? What’s all this mess of ‘we had a thing??’ Do people throw themselves over everyone just because they ‘had a thing’? What’s a thing anyway?! This is not love. It is lust and most of the times it is lust plus love of money. By the time these ladies finally get married their hearts are in such a pathetic state. They are wasted. Their hearts are as cold as ever. She will always be comparing everything to what all her ‘men’ offered her. Their touch, their outings, their money, their intimacy. She will compare, even if not loudly. As for the man, he is no longer fresh and green. He is rotten and a rainbow of all the dark colours that you know of. He will mistreat you because he doesn’t exactly need you. He is overwhelmed by all the women who have walked in and out his life. He doesn’t need you as a wife and partner, perhaps just as the woman in consummation.

There was a time back when being a mistress was such a disgraceful thing.  When being a side-chic was such an awful thing. Everyone was condemning it. Only cheap ladies standing at the street willingly accepted the position yet right now very young girls, teenagers, are vying up for seat. Pardon is it vying up or down? I mean, where are we really headed to? What makes us any different from prostitutes? That we wear fancier clothes and do all these stuff for fun and not for money? Or is this sponsor affair stuff okay now? Where is our modesty people? Our chastity?

I mean, look at us. Look at how disgusting our situation is. Young men getting married early…and we say ‘well done. He has done good to mature up, to abstain, to take what is rightfully his’ only to come and realize he was looking for someone to fill his emotional loophole (which is fine). He was looking for a punching bag (sooo not fine). Someone to comfort him (which is fine too) but at the same time, he is back dating his ex. He realized he rushed into marriage. That he was not over her. And what does this poor neglected girl do when his husband no longer gives her the attention? Seeks her husband’s friend. That same one who’s been eating on the same table with her husband. But do you get my point? Do you see how rotten we are? Now why are you rushing into marrying anyone?

I’ll tell you this. When someone proposes or when proposing to someone, do your research well. Even if you know them for eternity, still do your research. Do a thesis about them if possible. Employ a private detective if possible. Seek help from FBI, CSI, CIA, all these security forces. Ask about the guy or the lady like she is in the most wanted list. Don’t let that infatuation or love blind you. No one is what they seem. I mean NO ONE! Take your time with this. There is no deadline in this. It is about your life. It is a lifetime commitment so no one should hold a gun on your head. If someone is not up to your standards don’t just accept because everyone else your age is getting married. Have your focus. Marriage is not your final destination. Marriage is not everything in life. Marriage is not about the white veil or the full suit. It is you handing over your heart with both hands to another person. You wouldn’t want to do that just to later on realize that you married a womanizer, a batterer, a homosexual, a psycho, a cheap lady, a terrorist, a drugist, someone with all kinds of diseases and most of all, a betrayer …right??

Sweetheart, there is no rush. Be patient. Analyze what people have to offer in your life. Sieve them away. Be critical in your thinking. Again, don’t allow love to blind you. Yes, everyone has some flaws but some flaws are just unacceptable. Keep praying again and again. Ask God to grant you what is best for you then wait. Remember your fate is already written. Don’t panic. Wait. Don’t let the societal excitement of marriage overwhelm you. Wait again. Remember this, good things take time! ?

 

To end this I will leave you some lyrics by someone (i don’t even know the name) but someone showed these lyrics some time back and I think the message is good:

 

Anayetoa ni mola wa pekee yeye

Kwa kila goti na dua anajibu yeye

Usije itaka harusi kwa pupa

Usije itaka harusi ukarudi na talaka

Usikimbilie mume ukaukondesha moyo

 

Mola amekuumba na sifa kedekede

Ukimuomba yeye atakusikia

Jiamini mama usiwe na mapepe

Ya nini tumbure angali mume majaliwa?

Kwanini ujichoreshe na mali yako yaliwa?

Utabeba vibovu upewe maradhi kukimbilia mapenzi

Uje upate tabu ukwaye mavazi uyachukie mapenzi…

 

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