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Creative Non-Fiction


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Creative Non-Fiction

HOW TO KILL HUMANITY IN A MOMENT

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Photo Courtesy: pinterest.com

I remember a day just a few weeks ago, I was walking around Makadara Old town with my close friend Amina, when all of a sudden the man right in front of us fell down. He started having fits and convulsions before he became unconscious. We both freaked out of course and we had a second of shock before we thought of doing anything. His fits seemed like he was an epileptic but he didn’t produce any saliva like I have seen it ooze out of my sister’s mouth.

See my sister is epileptic but in that moment I just froze and my mind went blank. I totally had no idea what to do yet I have the experience doing first aid for an epileptic. When the shock sank in, I ran to a chemist nearby to get help while Amina picked up the man’s belongings that were scattered.

I couldn’t get any help from the Pharmacists. So I rushed back. People had started gathering. Everyone with their own theory of what to do so he can recover.

“Mnusishe ufunguo.” (Let him smell keys)

“Mnusishe upande wa chini wa kiatu.” (Let him smell the bottom side of the shoe.

There was a biology teacher nearby. He asked the people to space out before saying that epileptics can’t be helped in that situation. They are left to regain their consciousness.

Every kind of people stood and had a peep at him. Some questioned what was happening while others just looked and disappeared. We still stood there; me and Amina. And it was while we were waiting for the man to gain consciousness I remembered my sister. I imagined how it would be if she ever fell down on the way. Will she get someone like Amina to hold her things until she wakes up? Will she get someone to raise her head and turn her back and cover her well? My heart was in a pinch now and I was holding myself so hard not to break down. But then my brother in law appeared (the husband to my epileptic sister), and you know, usually when you see a familiar face in such a situation it’s like “at last someone to understand what I am feeling”. So I just let it out and started crying. Mind you, I was crying in front of a crowd of people. So the attention shifted for a moment.

“Why is she crying?” They started asking. My brother in law pulled me aside and I quickly rubbed off my tears and put on a smile. He left and I went back to where the man was lying.

Slowly, we watched as he regained consciousness. I went on my knees and questioned him his name and whether he remembers what has jut happened. From experience, there were times she couldn’t even recognize my mother until moments later.

The man told us his name and gave us his relative’s phone number to call. A lady gave me her phone to make the call.

“Are you so and so?”

“Yes. Do you know so and so?”

“Why?”

“He mentioned you to be his uncle. Do you know him?”

“No this is wrong number.”

“Wait…aren’t you so and so?”

“I am but as I told you I don’t know the person.” The line went dead.

“He says he doesn’t know you,” I told the man.

“We are not in very good terms that’s why.”

“Any other relative we can call?”

“My cousin but he doesn’t have a phone at the moment.”

We all sighed. This is going to be tricky to deal with.

The same lady who gave me the phone to make the call went and bought the man some water and glucose. Another male student seemingly going to college stopped by and offered to help too. The biology teacher was still standing there and Amina was still holding the man’s belongings, tears in her eyes.

“So how can we help him? He can’t leave like this.”

I knelt down again.

“Do you have epilepsy?”

“No I went to the hospital the other day and I was told Malaria has gotten to the brain…and thus the convulsions.” He slowly removed a hospital subscription and then showed me ARV’s.

“I am coming from my uncle’s.place to ask for help to buy the medicines required and I was heading to another place to ask for help too.”

A Barawa man or perhaps he was a Somali quickly asked me, “He needs money for hospital?”

I nodded.

“Please come with me to my shop I will give you the money.”

The hospital prescription was written that he was referred to Coast general and he needed malaria tablets worth 2000. I stared at the amount with puzzlement. 2000/= for malaria tabs? Or is it because he has Aids? Doesn’t make sense. I still went with the Barawa guy to his shop and gave me the two thousand shillings. I thanked him and rushed to Kisima Chemist.

I quickly told the story to the Pharmacist and showed him the prescription. His next words shattered me…

“That man…he is lying. There is no prescription that can be written for malaria tabs worth 2000. Plus if he has been referred to Coast general he should be there instead of taking malaria tabs worth 2K”

“I thought so too…but…but he can’t be lying. He fell down right in front of me. I saw him get the fits. How he gained consciousness.”

“Ma’am…we have seen a lot here. People go to far extents to make money from people. He must have used a substance that triggered the fall and the fits. They usually point out targets and then do the act.”

I was speechless. Shocked. Pertubed.

Does this mean this man had actually targeted me and Amina as potential naive souls to believe his drama?

“Now what should I do? Someone just gave me 2000 to buy the guy medicines. I don’t even know his name. How can I return it?”

“Listen… if you want to buy malaria tablets worth 2000 then I will give you…but if you really want to help this guy take him to hospital. You will know the truth from there”

The pharmacist turned to the next customer as I stood still. I replayed the whole scene.

It was just Amina and I behind that man. No one close by. I remember how fast he showed me his ARV’s and the prescription and how he told his story of needing funds…Oh my…

Amina interrupted my thoughts.

“Oh I finally found you. The man was saying he knows a place he can buy the medicines at a cheaper price.”

I told her what the pharmacist had just said.

“Anyway let’s just assume he is being honest…in any case we haven’t lost anything.”

“Well yeah but if he is lying then we have lost our tears and my head is drumming and I am late for work. Both of us are late to work…” I said.

As we approached the man again, the crowd had dispersed. Remaining was just the fallen guy, the biology teacher and Amina’s mum who had come after Amina called her.

We took Amina’s mum aside and explained what we were told. The shock never seized appearing on our faces.

“We can’t exactly know though. Maybe he is sick after all. Let’s just give him benefit of doubt…”

Amina’s mum approached the man and asked him,

“Should we take you to Coast general? Won’t it be better if we took you there?”

“Mmh yeah…” he hesitated, “but let me relax first.”

Amina’s mum told us they will try questioning him before giving him the 2K. So Amina and I left while Amina’s mum and the biology teacher went with him to a small cafe to buy him lunch and question him too…

 

It’s been quite a while since that incident but I have never been able to digest it. Every time I pass by that spot I remember how that man fell down. And whenever I do, I feel disappointed and sometimes; stupid.

Amina later on told me that her mum told the man that if he is genuine then may God help him and if he lying then God is there too to grant him what he deserves, before giving him the money.

When I told my family what happened that day, my dad and brother told me I should stop being naive.

But then this isn’t about me alone. There was the lady who bought water and glucose for the guy, who gave out her phone to make calls, there was Amina who went to a further extent of calling her mom, who also had to leave her job place to come help this guy, there was the biology teacher, the college boy, the Barawa guy who gave out his money…Sometimes I wonder if they ever heard the Pharmacists words what would they say? Or feel? Or perhaps how would it change their perspective to humanity and humans? True, sometimes humans don’t deserve humanity…

We complain of how humanity has died but there are so many good people out there. But it is still us humans who kill the remaining perks of faith that we have in humanity. Again and again, we have broken the trust and the chains connecting us. I remember another friend once told me of how someone orchestrated their own death and went to an extra mile of letting out photos to prove the death. Only for the family to find out it was a huge lie in the name of revenge for a fight that happened. Tell me, who does that? Put your own family through such kind of pain cause of a fight?

This is how when someone calls wolf…we are barely ever going to believe it anymore. Because we have reduced humanity into nothing by just putting up an award winning drama. This is how to kill humanity in a moment….

P.S My intention in writing this story is to not show what I did or what my friend did or what others did. Far from it, this can serve a lesson for those who believe what they see easily. You need to be alert out there. We have cons and real psychos out there. You need to be careful…And that there are so many kind people ready to help but we are the ones who break them by killing the little left humanity in them…

Nonetheless, may God bless every single kind soul that helped out that day and every other day. They are the only hope we have in humanity.

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REALITY BEHIND THE FRIEND ZONES

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One of the craziest thing in 21st Century are the friend zone memes. They are hilarious, heart-felt by many people and just one other way to make the sad situation of rejection sound funny. Well the memes afterwards escalated. It came to bro zone/sis zone (which is considered worse than friend zone) life zone, neighbour zone, mzee wa mtaa zone (the guy who is always approached by his female friend to solve her couple problems), father zone etc etc. You know at one moment we all did that ‘moment of silence’ thingy for all the bros in the friend zone…and behind most of the ‘hahaha’ and ‘HA HA HA’ in the comment section of friend zone memes there is a lot of pain hidden.

 

does-the-friend-zone-exist

So recently there has been too much excitement on the net of the newly found logo for friend zone (which is the most common zone. I guess the root zone?). And it’s so hilarious how people actually believe that such logos are necessary?

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As much as I find the memes to be hilarious, I don’t believe in the literal existence of these zones. I don’t believe in a corner where a nice guy is shoved in simply because he is too much a friend. Let’s be realistic, open minded and honest here. We all have what we look for in a partner or what makes a potential spouse. So…

does-the-friend-zone-really-exist

No such thing as friend zone because I believe in personal preferences, choices, fate, priorities and decisions and not the life zones we justify with. You could be yearning for a partner with sparkling beauty yet she could be searching for a man with brains like Einstein? You could be after a man with an ambition while he is after a woman with twice his ambition? You could be after a lady with principles yet she is after a man with religion? Someone is checking his bank balance and someone else is after his humility. It all depends on personal emotions and interests, otherwise, everyone out there can be a potential partner. It’s nothing to do with anyone being in any zone. It’s all a matter of if someone has an interest in you or not. It is all a matter of compatibility and bonding on another level. It is about having someone to spend your entire life with. And sometimes, that lady or guy in the friend zone or bro zone or whatever wouldn’t be the best choice. IT IS THAT SIMPLE.

You could be the sweetest peach as they say, the nicest guy but maybe you just don’t have the one thing she has prioritized in a partner. There is no way around it. And most of the times people only try to be nice and not hurt anyone’s ego by telling them ‘You are my good friend’ or whatever people say. They just don’t want you to feel like something is wrong with you or you are not worth them; it’s all about what their choices are and sometimes it is as much difficult for them too to make such decisions.

It is okay to console yourself with the memes, to embrace your pain and to laugh about it because you are not alone. But no it’s not okay to use it as a justification of why someone was rejected. See that guy who made it out of the bro zone? The silly girl finally realized his worth and perhaps understood that what is missing in him; he’s got something better. Not just because he squeezed himself out of the tight corner called bro zone. It is because she has now made her choice and made him a priority.

One other thing that people never consider is that however CLOSE you are to another person, when it comes to the real deal of making someone your life time partner, things change. High-peaked emotions are included here. The way a guy is with his girl best friend is not exactly the same way he would be if the same girl became his partner. This is because we now have expectations, deeper attachment, love associated with every action. So yeah it IS different…and sometimes, people are better off as they are, where they are; in those hypothetical zones.

If you want to deal with this kind of rejection then you have to believe in the choices others make even if they are not the best for you. You have to believe in fate; in accepting that not everything is going to go as you wish. That sometimes the person you see the best for you is actually not the best? That maybe that person is just not ready for such commitment or they already have a lot on their plate and cannot be emotionally available? That everything happens for are a reason. That perhaps God is saving you a whole lot of pain that would come from being with that person. Well it is difficult no doubt but if you want to get over this, you better find a better reason to justify your rejection rather than the zones. Because all these zones? They don’t exist…

 

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CHANGE VS CONSISTENCY

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Photo Courtesy: http://www.houzz.com/

 

Is there a difference between Change and Consistency? Most of the times I like to remain indifferent about Change and Consistency….I mean some of you might as well say yeah there is…but I feel at times that the pros of consistency are the cons of change…and vice versa. Think of it this way a caterpillar turning into a butterfly…that’s change yeah? Is it good? Totally. Then there’s consistency…lionesses hunt….and it’s been that way since forever…is it bad? No it’s not. Supposing lionesses thought like humans and there’s feminism in Pride Land…Okay? No. I am sure you now know why I am not a fan of being in a debate about Change and Consistency.

 

So like in life, take metarmophosis for example. Is that developing or changing? I mean…you’re the same YOU…but in a different way….wait…isnt that what change it is? Confusing right?

 

The other day, I was catching up with friends and we had a conversation that was brought up with you know…ahh 5 years ni miaka mingi…unkua…you no longer have that kiddish face…unkaa mtu mzima (P.S she was probably referring to the fact that I had my mtandio intact ?…high school was ish ish…or maybe I am no longer the reckless girl who came in class with zero fucks given on how short my jilbab was or missing the scarf. Thank you Anisa for always having an extra one for me for Mondays and Thursdays ?) Anyways, we got into talking about life. How it was different from what we expected and what we did not and so automatically we ended up talking about marriage.

When do you know you’re ready to get married? How is marriage life different from not-commited life? From the stories and experiences we had…I can strongly conclude Marriage Life is another hell for people who grew up with strict and at the same time conservative parents and family.

 

I don’t know…it’s probably norms and cultures…like if you get married you’re expected to cook, give birth, raise kids, take care of your husband and suddenly it’s a routine. (Wenyewe wasema ni ulezi). Do not get me wrong. I am not saying any of that is bad….actually it’s very good. Almost as good as it being part and parcel of the marriage package deal. The question however remains to be; does it have to be the only stuff you do in your marriage? Like wake up in the morning get the kids and the Mr. ready for school and work or whatever. Go to work(or not). Come back home and cook for them, help them with homework or work related stuff (again or not). Eat. Sleep. Wake up the following morning and it’s literally your cycle of life. The best you get when you have a free time is watch you-tube videos on make-up tutorials or cook shows. Hah! My friend,she put it like whenever you’re free…you find fascination on curtains or furniture or this blouse I bought or usitumie mchele A for mkate wa sinia ukitumia B yawa laini zaidi). You should’ve heard say that btw. ???

 

In my perspective. I think alot of marriages do not work because wallahy I feel that that cycle is a wastage of the wife’s entire life. It’s probably 98% of the reasons why husbands go outside to look for other women…like say  these free and hyper and crazed up girls because they’re full of life and energy and are not boring. (Consistency not good here yeah? I thought so too.)

I am absolutely 95% sure the make up or the blouses and deras and thobes we ladies get are not even for the Mr. If they’re not for weddings and functions( which 100% certain your husband isn’t attending) then it’s for show off to your girls and it’s for the typical swahili culture (ahh mashallah mume wake amtizama uzuri.) Wake up woman! You’re way more than just that. I mean dress up. No one is denying you that right…but why do you have to do it for people. It’s okay if you’re creative and into interior fashion and architectural designing…but those need not be your purpose in life. Contour and higlight your face and at the same time be a mechanical engineer. Cook like one would say it tastes like maiden and at the same time be that on call doctor who gets a midnight call to go do an emergency surgery. Seriously lady…you went to school. Before marriage you had visions and dreams. Just like they say you should not put marriage on hold because of education don’t you dare put an end to your education, dreams and visions just because of marriage life. Just like you’re the mother to the kids…he is the father. Just like you can cook so can he (or learn..ddduuhhh there’s  Chef Ali Mandhry…he cooks and a half). Just like you can take the kids to school and help them with homework so can he. Am not saying go all feminist on him. Take atleast 65% of the works needed in refining your marriage life…but dude…while looking after the kids and the Mr.; use the remaining 35% to fucking look after yourself too. Update yourself because marriage was not meant to introduce you to a new version and set you to a default. You do not want to stay behind, because this world is dynamic and change is a must…or is it consistency (like before marriage you were someone with goals therefore keep goaling)?

 

P.S I am not promoting feminism. I am promoting consistency or change or whatever.

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5 REASONS YOU NEED TO DO CHARITY MORE

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Photo Courtesy: http://www.4charity.com/

Charity never required you to be rich or super holy or an angel in disguise or even an extremely empathetic person. It never required you to have any special talents or skills to give a hand to anyone. You don’t have to have more than you need to give but actually the best kind of charity is that which you give when you have little yourself.

Charity does good to us more than we assume or presume. It is never only about doing good to the next person but also about what it has done to us. It is not only about how happy you made that person by handing them cash that they badly needed, or how your smile made them feel better on that bad day or how you helping that old man cross the road saved him a lot of energy. Let’s talk about you now. Let’s talk about why you need to do more charity to please your God and own soul more than anyone else.

1.Charity is just one of those things that lights up your heart once you do it. It doesn’t matter how evil you think you are, you want to feel better about yourself? Feeling low and awful about yourself? Give charity, help whenever you can. It is never limited to money. Do good generally and see how it makes you feel like an angel that just dropped from the sky 😀 For real though, it has an amazing effect.

2.Think of it this way; God has chosen you to be the reason someone is eating a great lunch today or someone is happy or someone is finally able to buy those medicines they weren’t able to buy in forever. You are not doing that person any favour by the way, you are there because you were meant to be there. It is part of God’s great plan that you be the one to save the day. Doesn’t that make you feel like a ‘mini-messiah’? lol It should be a big deal to you actually; that God has chosen you from many of His creatures, to be the one to do the good to someone on such and such a day. So never hesitate to give that 10 or 20 shillings. Trust me, it does make a difference to the person begging out there (the genuine beggars that is, not these people who are just greedy and never have enough of what they have). So give, give, give!

3.It’s time to reach out to your soul. Your inner self has been yearning for some attention from you. It needs you to look into the dust and mess that is within…and that is what charity helps you do; mirror yourself!! When you keep helping people around; the sick, the orphans, the needy, it makes you think more deeply about the state of your soul, how good am I? how much more do I need to do to get my soul into the peace of mind that it needs. Charity can act as food for your soul. It makes you genuinely happy about who you are and what you do? It makes your soul bloom like a Spring flower, so what are you waiting for?! 😉

4.It makes you aware of how many blessings you have. I know you have heard of this several times before but seriously, it isn’t a lie is it? Whenever you reach out to people, even by just giving them valuable advice, you realize that many, MANY other people out there are having it rough than you. You help an old man cross the road, you realize how difficult it is for him to move around with how busy our roads are and how rough our drivers are. You feed someone hungry you realize that you have no right to whine over the breakfast that you missed…etc etc. Every single person we meet has a story and the more you scrutinize the world and explore the ways of humanity, the more you realize how you have no right to complain about the problems that you have.

5.The rewards? Of course from God you never miss your goodie pack. Blessings will shower on you like the fourteen falls 😉 Especially on such blessed days like of Dhul hijjah, what are you waiting for?!

Need I say more then? Just remember that whenever you do charity or good, you are doing it for yourself more than to the person. Keep doing good, be good and let good keep rolling your way!

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WHERE CHASTITY AND DIGNITY LIES

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Photo Courtesy: http://www.duniavvanita.com/

Well this is a very sensitive topic that I would rather not talk about at any other time because it draws a lot of attention, judgement and even when not intentional, it tends to step on people’s toes. However, I got a request this morning that I should write about it and I agreed. I guess the end justifies the means, which is speaking out openly in this case and hopefully, opening the eyes of our younger sisters and brothers out there.

Okay, I get it, we all do mistakes in our lives and perhaps letting go of your virginity at such an early age was one of them. I am not about to judge you, mock you or even condemn you because I know for a fact that everyone knows what is wrong and what is right. All I am hoping is that you are not going to tag others along in this mess of yours (for those who fall here that is). That just because someone broke your virginity you decide to break everyone else’s too.

Okay again, perhaps this is 21st Century where no one is allowed to ‘interfere’ with your personal life, not even your parents. I also get it that this is the era where everywhere you go, all that you read says, ‘BE YOURSELF. DO WHAT YOU WANT. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE’ bla bla bla. Well yeah, these quotes may contain truths in them but it never really justifies lack of chastity. And as I had previously written about the Bermuda love triangles in my article ‘THE ERA TO NOT RUSH INTO MARRIAGE’, it is really scary that the person you trust with the most precious thing which is your chastity, is not only sharing a bed with you but with several other girls or boys too. And as they all say it…once you are into the game then there is very little chance that you are ever going to call it quits. Well, the mistake has already been made. Perhaps once, twice, or several more times but what are you planning to keep for your husband/wife? What is left anyway? If it is your beauty then everyone can see that. If it is your money then anyone can use that. But your chastity? Your virginity? That is just the one thing that is meant for only one person; your spouse. And I am intentionally generalizing the sexes here because very few parents actually care about their sons’ chastity. It is made to seem OK. Just because they are the men of the house? Or because there is no way to prove their lack of chastity unless they say it themselves? But how then are we ever going to convince our younger sisters and our daughters to remain chaste and hold onto their dignity while they see their brothers sleeping around with different girlfriends every two months and sometimes even with married women/men?

Love? Don’t blame love for your lust. Don’t even try to justify yourself with, ‘she is my true love. We’ve been dating for five years..bla bla bla’ even if you’ve been dating for a whole lifetime, it still isn’t right, culturally, religiously and even morally. Previously, when I was younger, I used to wonder why parents used to make such a big deal after a girl is married and the husband reports that she was a virgin. Like why such a fuss? Isn’t that how it is supposed to be? But then I grew up and reality of the world struck; youth have made consummation a life goal just when they hit 18. Or is it 16? Well for the Western world it goes lower than that. So perhaps it does deserve all that excitement; their child has done the one thing that children nowadays can rarely do; abstain.

Dear girl, boy, man, woman who is still saving himself/herself for her spouse, be proud of yourself. Be really proud because right now, you are among the rarest gems. Keep holding your head up and never let your guard down. Never feel left out or embarrassed that you still don’t know how the intimacy world looks like or feels like. You eventually will; when the right time comes and with the right person. But most importantly, pray really hard to God that you don’t slip like many did. That you remain as chaste and majestic as you are now because Satan strikes when you least expect it. So yes, pray that God gives you the strength to get rid of all temptations and that He grants you a spouse that you rightfully deserve.

As for the one who has already made the mistake, I hope you are not convincing yourself with, ‘I was perfecting the art for my spouse.’ Sweetheart, stop lying to yourself. How much do you think your husband is going to value you when he realizes you are used material? Even if he loves you so much it is never going to be the same. The same applies to the man. Nonetheless, if you have decided to let the past mistakes remain there and let bygones be bygones, then well and good, you have done the right thing. You may have lost something but you can always be better than the rest. And that is by repenting, growing closer to God and avoiding repetition of your past mistakes. And one more thing too is to try and advise your friends and young ones to not fall into the same trap as you once did.

Not to sound too holy, judgmental or anything, i’d like to end this with a quote by Ezra Taft Benson: ‘The moral code of Heaven for both men and women is complete chastity before marriage and full fidelity after marriage.’

P.S. This article does not include the rape and sodomized victims. By all means, we know it is never their fault.

May God guide us all. Ameen.

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DEAR MINI-HALFIES

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Dear mini-halfies,

Due to contigency purposes, I felt the need to address certain issues that are not too ephemeral to be discussed and analysed in accordance to the “parenting book.”

You need to know, if Twitter and Facebook still exists or maybe new social networks of your time have the ‘trend’ thingy, you will suffer the ordeal of trending #growingupwithstrictparents. See your aunts (your uncles’wives) say am the strict one. In my defence, I wanted your then little cousins to grow up true to themselves. This pretty much lets you know that if I was strict then, you guys stand absolutely no chance of having it easy.

Not to scare you guys or ‘hate’ on me for that matter, but to make you realize what you’re really made of.

I want you guys to grow up morally stable, have buckets full of self esteem and have complete faith on what you can be up against.I mean I would take kindness over smart any day any time, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be hard on you so you can be able to realize when someone needs you and when someone  uses you to accrue their needs. I would love for you guys to grow up with your own definition of personality and not what society makes you, because trust me when I tell you from my experience that she is one hypocritical and double standard bitch. She’ll tell you to be yourself and then judge you for it. So I want you to do what your gut and what your Deen says is right. (Praying hard I do good by you when it comes to your Deen and its teachings)

 

I will base this entire letter to you for when you’re a teenager to young adult period because it is the hardest of all phases of growth and development. I remember this one time your aunts,uncles and I pissed off dad so much while we were under his care so he went “Amma give each one of you an equal share of the estate and what you do with it will be non of my concern and do not look for me when you’re sucked dry.” So you get how serious shit becomes when we’re there.

 

I wanna raise you guys equally, without favoring any of you according to gender. And am not talking feminism, am talking equal chances and belief that you can pull of whatever you’re supposed to. Of course I will always be there to help out.

 

I wanna be there for you, you know how people say they wanna be bestfriends with their kids? I wanna be that too, but that does not mean I will let you do stuff just because you’ll  be mad at me. I wanna be that friend who’s older…I reckon you know how that works. I will not be upset that you find it easier to talk to your friend or even your dad (God bless that poor soul). I just want you to know that I will always be there for you…at all times.

 

Dear XY, you know how they say guys should man up…I don’t want you to hold back stuff just because you feel its a guy thing. There is no such thing as a guy thing when it comes to feelings, whether positive or negative. I want you to feel with every fibre of your being and act on them as wisely as it should be (Again, friendly reminder that I will always be there to help you sort out on your own terms with alittle help…two heads are better than one…or this case three…supposing your dad needs to be involved.)

 

I know we’d fight…and we’d fight alot because when you turn 13 or so and that voice of yours breaks and becomes the ugliest of all bass notes and your shoulders go all broad, you’d think for yourself that ‘you’re the man’. I want you to keep in mind that to me you’re still that little boy I spent nights nursing because dammit you lots’ immunity is as low whatever you can take for a simile…and if need be amma scruff you by your collar like a cat does it’s kitten and lead you back to your room so you figure your shit out and set it straight. You will not get an upper hand or the advantage over your sister(s) and that just because you’re male, you dominate the household or will have an excess of the freedom allowed. I will try my best to raise you and your sisters to be equally responsible to your actions.

I know I cannot talk much about you, because norms depict that you’re your dad’s responsibility. I, however would like to tell you that you can come to me when something is off and not working out. Like I said before about manning up. I don’t care what ‘the male code’ dictates…I want you to talk to me about how Math and Physics are not your favorite subjects and how painting or writing gives you the serenity your heart and soul needs. I want to be there for you when that girl you like friend zones you or she breaks your heart by cheating on you. (I pray I would’ve done good by you so you know your priorities…but this is an unavoidable phase you’ll pass anyway.) And when this phase reaches, I want you to tell your testosterone levels to take down a notch. I would not want to find out you played someone’s daughter and made her literally feel like someone is shovelling out her heart. I would want you to honour girls….because reflect on where you came from. I wanna instil in you the knowledge that a lady is far more superior to you in all aspects except perhaps BMR and body builds. I want to teach you to be humble and not be lied to by the fact that gender is basing you superior. I want to teach you nobility and load you with respect to anyone and everyone. I want you to be the  son and the brother your sibling(s), your dad and I will be proud of. I want you to grow up being able to act wisely and use your brain and sometimes heart where need be. Trust me when I say you will clash alot with your dad, and probably feel misunderstood; and out of rage and spite you’d want to get back at him. My brothers used to keep their hair to weird levels or go shave weird and dad would be so mad he would tell mum “zungumza na mwanao, mwambie staki kumuona ndani ya nyumba yangu with that haircut.”(???) See that’s our predicament. Us women are that unlucky…when you guys turn out good…you’re your dad’s boys…and when it’s the other way around…it’s the mother’s boys and fault the boys turned that way. I want you to know how to work on the issues…I am 80% sure you’d not want to discuss stuff with me because “moooom it’s gross.” I just need you to know you can talk to me about it. I will try giving you a hint here…if you’re  probably too embarrassed to ask…just ask anyway…instead use a third party or ask in hypothetical sense. Or find another way to ask me to talk to you about it. ( I know you’re a smart kid, and you will get the message delivered.) I do not want to overtake your dad’s responsibility or share on how to teach you stuff. I just want you to know that I will help you whenever there’s a fog of tension between you two. I promise to sit us both down and talk and smooth issues over. No judgements no blaming whatsoever. We would both accept and own up to our mistakes and apologize where necessary.

 

Dear XX, apparently norm and culture has it that you’re to be raised in an uptight lifestyle. I hope and pray that I would’ve done good by you on Deen too so you know when and when not to act impulsively. I will tell you one thing, Your grandfather, we grew up almost unable to differentiate whether it was respect or fear we had for him. Am not saying he was a bad person, he was sooo great I spent half the time wishing and praying I got a husband like him (No offence XY snr if you didn’t turn out like him…you’re probably greater than him.) My dad, he used to be strict and very opinionated sometimes, like he would say he’s letting you speak up your terms when you argue about something, but do what he feels like because it’s right. I know in his perspective it was, and so help us God it could be he was right and I was wrong, but I promise I would back you up on what we agree to agree on or agree to disagree on. Again about equal chances with your brother(s)….I will try hard to keep my word. I will not judge you by “your dressing is immoral because your bra strap is showing or your head scarf is off the scale and let his boxer be seen because he decided he’ll pull his trouser ‘a little down’ or put on a t-shirt sooo tight it makes his chest cavity suffocated….(none of you are doing this under my watch btw, or whatever would be trappily trendy in your generation) Or let him have a girlfriend and then be up my sleeve when you have a crush on this cute guy from school or Madrasa and want to pursue him. (Again I pray that I would’ve done good by you when it comes to Deen. May Allah make it easy for both of us)

 

Sometimes I feel bad for you because your grandmother and I were soo close. We would talk from boys to life, to how I felt that she was being mean or hard on me . (This does not mean there were times we did not have heated arguments that lead to me shutting the door and blast my phone high up on  music.) You know how you have an argument and when it’s over you wish you should’ve said something ‘better’ as a comeback? She used to come back waaaaay after the “war” was over and start from A. Sometimes you just let her talk, vent out…so you just say ‘ma…sema audhubillah…or sometimes I would go with ‘oe cheki ma, me naenda zangu…ukijiskia ushacool call me’ and that automatically shut her up. When we didn’t get along (for one reason or another) I complained alot to my late aunty Zou (‘O Allaah, forgive and have mercy upon her, excuse her and pardon her, and make honorable her reception. Expand her entry, and cleanse her with water, snow, and ice, and purify her of sin as a white robe is purified of filth. Exchange her home for a better home, and her family for a better family, and her spouse for a better spouse. Admit her into the Garden, protect her from the punishment of the grave and the torment of the Fire.’ Ameen) and she used to tell me mzoee/muelewe mama…she’s getting old…and she used to tell me stories of how she felt way back on how mom treated her because she was basically raised by her; and she would tell me that it was for my own good because “look how great I turned into” Enough about the bad sides yeah? Because if I am to count, the best of my memories includ mom in them. And I love her alot for her existence. I pray I become a better mother to you.

 

I know there is going to be a time your friends will seem to understand you more than any one of us in the house. You will probably have fights with me. It could be something as trivial as not leaving the dirty clothes in the laundry basket, or as huge as you skipping classes because your favourite artist is in town. (I hope we never get there.) We could fight endlessly but at the end of the day I want to be the one you wanna talk it out with. There are probably times when you’re all grown up and start falling for guys. I will not judge you for it, because it’s a normal thing. I know you’d go lengths to pursue your feelings. Fine too but please be cautious. I know you’d deny it when I will confront you about it, for reasons you know best. (I know it could be because you’re afraid am gonna take away your electronics or stalk you or whatever method parents will be using then but i want you to know, I will be there for you. P.S I know I will totally disapprove you getting into a relationship, I don’t even need to sugar coat it but we will work it out together and resolve it to the best way possible) When it happens and doesn’t work out as planned, say this guy you sort of like did something to hurt you and you’re too proud to talk to me because you know I will obviously hit you with the mother of all I TOLD YOU SO’s…I want you to know that I will not let you cry yourself to sleep. I will let you cry, but I will also be there ready to take you out for ice-cream or whatever junk that will make you feel better.

I know you’ll have friends, and you will probably have get togethers or need to ‘chill’ and get those squad selfies because squad goals? Yeah… I want you to know that there are times I will tell you no, and I would expect you to accept and cooperate. Okay? If you ask me why I will not tell you it’s because you’ve gone out alot lately, but you will have to have earned the permission. Take it like positive and negative conditioning….where one gets rewarded for something or gets their rewards taken away for a wrong they did or a right they did not do. Again I know we will fight alot here but it is what it is. Hail Sigmund Freud! (Don’t worry, this will serve both you and XY)

Still on the fights between you and I, I want us both, after a time out and each of us has had their clarity and sanity back to face and own up to our mistakes. We would both or one of us say something hurtful to the other. I want us to work it out together. Please do not walk out on me when we’re in between an argument. Please lets consider and reverse the situations. I know I will give you the chance to speak out your mind and we can even point out each others mistakes (Tactics on the how to will come when the need be.) I want us to have a family where no ones opinion is undermined or stepped on or considered irrelevant. There are times I am probably going to be the hugest pain in the butt and even my breathing near you would be so annoying, I want you to know those are just hormones. You’d probably be wondering why I am stressing so much on fights…this is because I have had a share of living with my parents, and when I complained because I felt misunderstood Fatma( I hope and pray you get to meet her…amazing lady…God bless her) would tell me after giving birth to your own child, you get to see life in your mom’s eyes and you’d never wish to say or do anything to hurt her feelings. This sort of seeped through and I tried hard when we argued with mom to try to understand her…but sometimes shit happens and you just get out of control. I wanna let you know that you would not know this by then and God knows I did not know anything about mothering when I wrote you this letter, but I hope our fights will not escalate to points where you’d wanna leave and be somewhere without your family. Because I love you that much. Even if I did not say it when we were fighting. I would not want to make you cry or you me…because I am not sure if there’s ever coming back from that. I remember one day mum said/did something that I felt so hurt by it I ended up saying wallahy sikusamehi…I immediately regretted saying that because there was that pained look on her face. It was soooo down and deep it made me want to turn back time and take back my words but Alas! God knows she probably would’ve given anything for me to say I didn’t mean it and by God I did(mean it at that moment); but it was too little too late. So yes…I would like for us to measure our words and be cautious of what we throw at each other.

 

I wanna teach you both to live by your Deen and follow rasoul’s teachings. I don’t know alot of stuff but I know some stuff…and I would want you to learn from me and your dad. I wanna be the mother you mini-halfies would be proud to have. I wanna teach you so many things that if I were to count I would probably bore you to the core, but I want us to teach us all the things and everything we know. But most of all I wanna teach you to be your true self.  This lady on Instagram (@nikitagill) I like once wrote about colors and she went ahead and wrote “This world isn’t made of shades of gray. It is made of colors like azure and coral and emerald and marigold, but it insists on painting everything in black and white and fitting it into boxes that it understands. Do not do that to yourself. Paint your personality a million different colors. Leave them scratching their heads, unsure of how to handle the magic that you are.” It is okay to be weird or odd or depressed or schizoic or introverted,to be happy, sensitive, meek and all other adjectives that are deemed unnormal by society because it means you’re human and a classic one because the rest are all basic. It means you can feel and that is all that is important and matters. I will tell you while growing up I was different. I still am but that did not make me live up to people’s expectations, because at the end of the day they will still judge you; and since that b#$ch judges your character and personality by your parents-and not considering in mind that you guys probably spend many hours away from us-I give you guys permission to be whatever you want. I want you to be shy but bold, to be quiet but at the same time speak up, to be feeble but by all means courageous all the way and to never let any muģgle put you dow; because darlings, you’re the incomprehendable galaxy in the universe that is my life. I wanna teach you guys all the rhymes, read books to you (doesn’t matter religious or otherwise)play board games or weird games I got on TV shows like ‘Pictionary’ or ‘I spy with my little eye’. I know there is a time you guys will grow up and everything we used to do together will feel childish, but I want you to remember that it is what brought us together in the first place. I do not want you kids to drift away from me your dad and among yourselves and seek solace in friends and get safe havens that do not include me and/or your dad and sibling(s). I mean I get why you would want friends…but I want you to know that I will always be there when you come back from that rough phase you had to encounter and I promise to work it out together. I love you. I have loved you even before I was sure I was gonna have you, but that’s not the point. I want this letter to be a reminder to me too. I want it to be a reminder of how I longed for you. I want it to be a reminder for me, for when I am about to give up on you guys.( I pray we don’t get there…Allahumma Ameen). I want it to be a reminder to you, that if we ever have a fight and you wanna give up on me…remember I thought of this way before I even met the guy you call dad and wrote you this way before I got married to the guy you call dad. I want you to know that I was once your age…and I probably went through this phase rougher than you because I perhaps never got to work things out with my parents. I want you to know that I was afraid for you. Still am. It is a maternal feeling and I sort of know this because God let me witness what parenting is all about with your cousins before I got to have you guys. I want to let you know that there is nothing I won’t do to see you happy (obviously you misbehaving while at it doesn’t count). And last but not least…and probably the most important of all things, I wanna leave you with this hadith

ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺪﺧﻞ ﺍﻟﺠﻨﺔ ﺗﻘﻮﻯ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻭﺣﺴﻦ ﺍﻟﺨﻠﻖ

I want you to live by this hadith…or at least try your very best to live up to this hadith…because Jannah is our final destination. May Allah re-unite us all in Jannah.

 

 

Lots of Love,

MOM

(Yeah I know at this age you’d probably be tired of all my “nagging and constant rants” you’d be calling me “birthgiver” well guess what….I am okay with whatever makes you feel great about yourself ?)

P.S I love you alot and may Allah be with you throughout???

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THE WORLD OF OLYMPICS, ATHLETICS AND NICE SHOES

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Photo Courtesy: Unknown

Olympics is my favourite season. If you agree that Olympics is the better season than world cup then raise your hand and scream ‘yeah!’ 😀 Oh well, Olympics has it’s own thrill even if the ‘world cuppers’ don’t agree. I love world cup but Olympics; I just love it way more 😉 It’s not really a surprise that I love Olympics, I dream of watching it live and I wish I could be an Olympics athlete too HA HA HA; I will tell you why.

My dad has always been my hero before Usain Bolt or David Rudisha or even Michael Phelps. I just get too excited when I hear him talk of his days as the champion. They call him ‘Jaguar’. The most thrilling part of his stories is not exactly when he explains how he had to be chained up by his own father at the stairs so he wouldn’t go play football or when he shows you his scars…it is when you hear his old friends talk about him. So on this fine day I went for a job interview and during the introduction, I mentioned my father’s name of course. The boss said, ‘wait…Abdulhalim? Jaguar?’ And I am like ‘yeah’. He started praising my dad’s talent and explaining how he would make the entire crowd chant his name ‘Jaguar’. So you can imagine, I am right there, doing an interview and the boss starts getting excited about my dad. It actually made me wish I knew my father since back then. But still, this wasn’t the most interesting part. Some other day I went into the same office and another school mate of my father was there too. The boss started,

“Do you know whose daughter this is?”

“Who?”

“Jaguar!”

“Oh Jaguar!!! He used to break his own records during school days. I doubt that anyone ever broke his records to date.”

I started laughing as they went on explaining how fast my dad would run, or how good he was in the football pitch…oh, not forgetting swimming. He was just that talented all-round athlete. I remember laughing until my cheeks were aching. I was proud. I’ve always been but the most unfortunate thing about my dad is that he got a bunch of girls and one boy who have little or zero talent in sports compared to him. My sisters and I all participated in different sports during high school; the gene is still there only that it is a very tiny bit of it. So I may not be sportish but I love sports. I love the thrill. I love watching footballers do their training. I love watching the fans cry and scream with excitement. Oh my, I love the shoes; I really love the ‘nikes’ and ‘adidases’ on display. As they say, Olympics is the biggest stage for sneakers, you bet they are right! I love seeing anything that looks like a sport. So for me and for my family, Olympics is family time. We would sit together and cheer for the Kenyans and our other favourite athletes, stay up late and enjoy one sport after another. Oh yeah; this is the world of Olympics.

Olympics is not only about the marathon, the races or the swimming. It is made up of so many sports that can just amaze and amuse you. All the way from archery (where we had a Kenyan Muslim girl participant; Shehzana Anwar), basketball, badminton, beach volleyball, Synchronized swimming (which just seems too artistic to not fall in love with), swimming, gymnastics (one of my favourites too), cycling, trampoline (awesome!!), triathlon, wrestling, rowing, long jump etc etc.  This time we had Palestine bringing in 6 participants and Refugee Olympic athletes, 10 of them, isn’t that inspiring?! You see all this and you would be mind-blown at how people are so talented and skilled in this world. Welcome to Rio Olympics 2016!!

It’s so much fun watching David Rudisha break his own record in 800 men’s, watching Jemima Sumgong win the first gold for Kenya ever in Olympics women’s marathon, watch Usain Bolt win his 3rd consecutive gold in the Olympics 100 meter titles. Well the thing about Usain Bolt; he never disappoints his fans and he has the coolest celebration signature ever.

On the other hand, Michael Phelps will be taking home 5 gold medals and 1 silver after being defeated in the 100 M butterfly by Joseph Schooling from Singapore who happens to consider Phelps as his childhood idol. For Michael though, he says he is done. This is his last Olympics and well, why not? His performances cemented his title as the greatest swimmer of all time, winning 28 medals throughout his career, 23 of them gold.

There is so much inspiration in the Olympics, so much to learn from the champions. Simone Manuel became the first African-American woman to win an individual Olympic medal in swimming Thursday night, tying for gold in the 100-meter freestyle with Penny Oleksiak of Canada. Or on the case of Mo Farah of Britain who fell down half-way during  the 10th lap in the 10,000 meter race yet still the gold placing our own, Tanui from Kenya as the silver medalist. Etenesh Diro got a stand ovation from the crowd after losing one shoe during the 3000 meters steeplechase heat yet still emerging number 7 out of 17 participants. After an appeal from her team, Diro was among the lucky ones to proceed to the finals. With one shoe, or no shoe at all, you gotta stand up again!

Back to our Kenyans, we have 5 medals until now; 2 gold and 3 silver placing us at number 18 which is not bad 😀 Leading is United States with 75 medals. However, for Kenyans we still have hope in the upcoming events including the athletics happening today. Perhaps even by the time you read this, more medals will have already been won Amen!

Okay now people, as much as our Kenyans have poor English speaking skills, let us admit that the bigger problem is the accent rather than the English grammar itself. I mean did you hear this Rwandan athlete who was being interviewed and he was like, ‘I ran I ran I raaannnnn, I enjoyed I enjooyeeeddd’ lol. So yeah, at least our Kenyans are trying. They are bringing you medals, what more do you want!

Anyway besides that, Deputy president Ruto joined athletes in a jog in Rio, warned dishonest sports managers and also said the government has increased the award package for Olympics medal winners to Sh1 million for gold medalists, Sh750,000 for silver and Sh500,000 for bronze. Oh well, isn’t that so juicy?! Especially since Kenya has sent quite a crowd over there. Though I think an appeal should be made for the marathon runners. I mean come on, how does someone running 42.195 kilometres marathon win the same prices with someone winning in 100 meters?! Eish! These athletes deserve double award! I mean, didn’t you see Jemima shed tears as the Kenyan flag was raised?! She deserves a greater token lol.

With that much said, let us enjoy the few remaining days of Olympics and most of all, let us learn from these champions and their stories of failure and success! As for my dad, I am just hoping my son will be the one to get that precious sportish gene from him, ameen!!!

For now it is, ‘Go Kenya Go!!’

 

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THE ERA TO NOT RUSH INTO MARRIAGE

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Photo: Unknown

I actually love seeing young happy couples together. By couples I mean married of course. I don’t really mind seeing a 20 year old already in her home and happy with her life. What? Are you surprised? You expect me to condemn such ‘kids’ to have their own families? I won’t. If the two can sustain each other’s needs and are responsible enough then why not?

There is also another scenario of young girls who do not want to study. Who are not interested in studying. Who do not want to even get a job and do something with their life. If this was your daughter what do you do with her? Ground her for a month? Take her phone? Forbid her friends from visiting her? Drag her to school and waste your school fees? Force her to go do a job? You do this to an 18 year old then you are just making her become rebellious. Do that to a boy he becomes twice as rebellious. And you know what young people do when they become rebellious? They do all that would hurt you, annoy you, piss you off completely. They will join bad gangs, have bad friends, get into drugs, partying and illicit intercourse.

Of course as a parent you are to do your very best in convincing and persuading and advising and threatening if necessary to make them realize that they are wasting their life away but if worse gets to worst and you see the young man or girl has made up her mind to be and do nothing then give her something worthwhile to be. Let her be someone’s wife. Let her be a mother. Not as a punishment though cause that way it also won’t work. Don’t push her to get married to escape your own responsibility. Don’t let her frustrate someone’s son because you couldn’t handle her (same applies to a stubborn young man). Let her get into marriage if that is what she is interested in or perhaps she can do well in.

How many times have we seen very poor performing girls becoming best of house wives and best of cooks and best of mothers? Not all children are blessed in academics but they could be blessed in their ability to take up such home responsibilities; the home science. If she is capable enough then why not? If the man marrying her is good enough then why not? If they are both happy with the decision then why not? Isn’t it better than letting her waste away with men? Isn’t being a mother the most noble career of all?? Well of course we can’t compare the older generations (where our mothers could get married at 16 and still be exemplary women in the society) to the spoilt dot com kids who can barely do anything by themselves. But there are some few young girls who still carry that old gene of being responsible when it comes to home affairs. Plus, apart from that, we have those who got married at such early ages and still went on pursuing their dreams, studies and careers!

Okay, now that I have made that point clear, let’s come back to the main topic. That this is not the era to rush into marriage! Ironic right? Yes, let me explain why.

Nowadays, we no longer have love triangles. We have Bermuda love triangles. Correction again; the Bermuda lust triangles. I say Bermuda because it’s other name is called the ‘devil’s triangle’. Perhaps that is what defines what exactly is happening among’st us currently.

You know like A and B are a married couple. They seem to be quite happy. But A is also secretly dating C who is a co-worker to B. And B also ‘has a thing’ for D. And D is the ex of C. C on the other hand is also seeing F who is the cousin to B. Oh and before I forget, A also had a one night stand with G. F also had a thing with both H and I who apparently all are friends. You get the scenario? What’s all this mess of ‘we had a thing??’ Do people throw themselves over everyone just because they ‘had a thing’? What’s a thing anyway?! This is not love. It is lust and most of the times it is lust plus love of money. By the time these ladies finally get married their hearts are in such a pathetic state. They are wasted. Their hearts are as cold as ever. She will always be comparing everything to what all her ‘men’ offered her. Their touch, their outings, their money, their intimacy. She will compare, even if not loudly. As for the man, he is no longer fresh and green. He is rotten and a rainbow of all the dark colours that you know of. He will mistreat you because he doesn’t exactly need you. He is overwhelmed by all the women who have walked in and out his life. He doesn’t need you as a wife and partner, perhaps just as the woman in consummation.

There was a time back when being a mistress was such a disgraceful thing.  When being a side-chic was such an awful thing. Everyone was condemning it. Only cheap ladies standing at the street willingly accepted the position yet right now very young girls, teenagers, are vying up for seat. Pardon is it vying up or down? I mean, where are we really headed to? What makes us any different from prostitutes? That we wear fancier clothes and do all these stuff for fun and not for money? Or is this sponsor affair stuff okay now? Where is our modesty people? Our chastity?

I mean, look at us. Look at how disgusting our situation is. Young men getting married early…and we say ‘well done. He has done good to mature up, to abstain, to take what is rightfully his’ only to come and realize he was looking for someone to fill his emotional loophole (which is fine). He was looking for a punching bag (sooo not fine). Someone to comfort him (which is fine too) but at the same time, he is back dating his ex. He realized he rushed into marriage. That he was not over her. And what does this poor neglected girl do when his husband no longer gives her the attention? Seeks her husband’s friend. That same one who’s been eating on the same table with her husband. But do you get my point? Do you see how rotten we are? Now why are you rushing into marrying anyone?

I’ll tell you this. When someone proposes or when proposing to someone, do your research well. Even if you know them for eternity, still do your research. Do a thesis about them if possible. Employ a private detective if possible. Seek help from FBI, CSI, CIA, all these security forces. Ask about the guy or the lady like she is in the most wanted list. Don’t let that infatuation or love blind you. No one is what they seem. I mean NO ONE! Take your time with this. There is no deadline in this. It is about your life. It is a lifetime commitment so no one should hold a gun on your head. If someone is not up to your standards don’t just accept because everyone else your age is getting married. Have your focus. Marriage is not your final destination. Marriage is not everything in life. Marriage is not about the white veil or the full suit. It is you handing over your heart with both hands to another person. You wouldn’t want to do that just to later on realize that you married a womanizer, a batterer, a homosexual, a psycho, a cheap lady, a terrorist, a drugist, someone with all kinds of diseases and most of all, a betrayer …right??

Sweetheart, there is no rush. Be patient. Analyze what people have to offer in your life. Sieve them away. Be critical in your thinking. Again, don’t allow love to blind you. Yes, everyone has some flaws but some flaws are just unacceptable. Keep praying again and again. Ask God to grant you what is best for you then wait. Remember your fate is already written. Don’t panic. Wait. Don’t let the societal excitement of marriage overwhelm you. Wait again. Remember this, good things take time! ?

 

To end this I will leave you some lyrics by someone (i don’t even know the name) but someone showed these lyrics some time back and I think the message is good:

 

Anayetoa ni mola wa pekee yeye

Kwa kila goti na dua anajibu yeye

Usije itaka harusi kwa pupa

Usije itaka harusi ukarudi na talaka

Usikimbilie mume ukaukondesha moyo

 

Mola amekuumba na sifa kedekede

Ukimuomba yeye atakusikia

Jiamini mama usiwe na mapepe

Ya nini tumbure angali mume majaliwa?

Kwanini ujichoreshe na mali yako yaliwa?

Utabeba vibovu upewe maradhi kukimbilia mapenzi

Uje upate tabu ukwaye mavazi uyachukie mapenzi…

 

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8 BOLLYWOOD MOVIES YOU PROBABLY SHOULD WATCH

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Photo Courtesy: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samir_Mondal

 

If you are thinking that bollywood is all about romance then you are getting it twisted. There are many moral and life lessons to be learnt but well, it all depends on your kind of thinking. Do you spend one/two hours watching something just because it was a hit and worth your cinema ticket or do you really try to analyze what is to be learnt from it? That’s food for thought but for now let’s get back to our topic. I am not always on track with the latest movies and most of what I’ve watched is many months or even years after it’s release. Nonetheless, I am critical in what I consider a good movie worth my time. These are just a few of which I think even if you aren’t a fan of bollywood, perhaps you should give a try to. They are quite some years old but their effect never get old on me. I am sure there are several more that have inspiring after-effects but this is what I could come up with for now.

1.Taare Zameen Par: My all time favourite. I have probably watched it a dozen times now. It still moves me. It still makes me cry like it’s my first time. The story revolves around a young ‘naughty’ boy who has a major problem in reading and writing. His father is very hard on the boy and keeps comparing him to his older brother who is just the ‘perfect son’; perfect grades, perfect cricket player. The young boy; Ishaan grows with a very low self esteem and becomes a loner. Only for his teacher to break it to his parents that he has dyslexia; a mental condition yet still a very talented artist. Coincidentally, Ishaan has several features like my baby sister. His height, slimness, the shape of his face, his teeth. Perhaps that is why it always gets to me but it has inspired me a lot. This is especially a good movie for parents (for teachers too); this exactly shows how scolding children really brings them down and how their support can make the best out of a student. How children should be allowed to persue what they can do best and for Ishaan, his art was simply spectacular! I’d just like to mention what the teacher told Ishaan’s father about a certain island called Solomon’s island where people don’t have to cut down the trees all they have to do is go in front of the trees and shout at them, insult, scold…and the trees die on their own. (Another food for thought).

I previously wrote an article about dyslexia which is also available on this site. That is how much this movie inspired me. You can always have a look at it! Well, to cut the long story short; it is definitely worth your time if you haven’t watched it already.

 

2.Bhaijang Baijarang: Well who hasn’t watched this?! A story about a very honest man trying to return a dumb girl back to her country Pakistan after getting lost in India. The obvious is that without anything this is already an awesome plot and a great story but there is about sacrifice here. How far do you go to helping someone even when you know you will be risking your life and not getting anything in return? Especially when you are dealing with a dumb girl and communication is such a struggle?! Crossing borders illegally is not exactly ‘an honest man’s way of doing things but he still tries his best to make it ‘right.’ I particularly like the similar ending of this movie and of the previous movie that I mentioned on Ishaan. The teacher throwing his student on air and in this, the saviour throwing Shaheeda (the dumb girl) on air too. Very moving! Very inspiring! Oh yes, stories involving children are simply the best! So, how much can you sacrifice for any human being?!

 

3.Ek Villain: Okay okay, it is a great love story alright but there is such a great lesson to be learnt from Aisha. Aisha is suffering from cancer and the doctors see no hope in her living any longer. So she has a bucket list that she wanted to empty before her death. A very interesting bucket list if I may add. But there is so much we learn from her. How her bucket list involves making other people happy more than herself. She keeps putting up very inspirational quotes on path ways. She is like a shining star that’s slowly falling. She smiles, she laughs, she has hope, she dedicates herself to fulfilling other people’s dreams even when she knew she was dying. But what I loved the most is how she taught her husband (who was filled with rage and pain over his alarming past) that darkness can never drive out darkness, it is only light that can drive out darkness. She was able to change her killer husband into something amazing. She was able to teach him that in life there is day too besides the night. We learn from her the art of being happy, of creating change in others, in being the light at the end of the tunnel for others. It is such a sad story and how it ended (or rather, started) wasn’t exactly what the viewers wanted but I like stories that beat the ordinary; unpredictable. Worth the watch, worth your time.

 

4.Three idiots: Ohhh boy. Amazing, simply tremendous! If you love stories about school life then this is definitely it. So much humour, adventures and craziness. But besides all that, this story evolves about three friends who invest all they have in their relationship. The kind of friendship that lasts forever. There is so much sacrifice, laughter, smiles, tears, sorrow, standing up for one another. Well, with our current world filled with fake friends maybe we can borrow a few ‘real friendship’ tips from these guys. Perhaps then we can start having the right definition of friendship.

 

5.Mary Kom: A tough girl who dreams of being a boxer and the obvious is that her father was totally against it. But she was persistent, still persued boxing, went training, had her many challenges but still became a champion. The twist of events happens when she gets married and gives birth to twins of which one was sickly. She had to stop boxing and training for a while and when she decided to come back to boxing it was like starting from zero again. But she still didn’t give up and struggled her way up once again. The perfect story for the saying, ‘where there is a will there is a way’. It’s all about dedication, courage, bravery, hard work and determination. You have a dream? It’s never going to come easy.

 

6.Baghban: Another very touching story of an old couple and their grown up children who decide to separate their mother and father after their house was sold. Really sad story in how it vividly potrays how children poorly traet their parents when they are of old age. The two parents are neglected and are hurt several times by their children and their spouses. The husband and wife miss each other but are miles apart and all they do is lie to each other that they are ‘okay’. Something interesting about this story is that their adopted son is the one who comes back to them, brings the two back together and treats them well more than their own children.  Yes, the story very well highlights that another man’s son could be better to you than your own family.  This is the ‘treat others right’ call. You just don’t know who will be good to you when you least expect it and who will be bad to you when you never expect it. Be good unto others, you just never know!

 

7.English Vinglish: Many of us take for granted our ‘illiterate’ parents and not just that, we rub it on their faces that they don’t know a thing. Well this is the same thing here. This story evolves around a very loving mother and wife who doesn’t know English. Her husband and daughter treat her awfully and mock her for being uneducated. When she travels to America for a family wedding, she secretly joins an English class. She gets to meet new people who really appreciate her and consider her delicious cookery as art. She starts loving herself for what she is and does all her best to learn English, which she does at the end. It’s a light story, perhaps not a super hit but one you can learn from. Again, where there is a will there is a way. She breaks all stereotypes around her and makes herself appreciated. The issue of parents come again; perhaps we really underestimate the damage we cause in our parents when we make silly jokes, mock them around or treat them misappropriately because of their weaknesses. Do only what you would want your own children to do to you!

 

8.BLACK: Being both blind and deaf from a young age is not any easy thing. This story talks about a young girl who becomes blind and deaf after recovering from some illness at the age of two. She becomes trapped in her own darkness and becomes a frustated and violent girl. Then comes this new teacher who is very hard on her at the start but he becomes the main reason of her learning and becoming better mannered. He teaches her to express herself. The teacher walks hand in hand with her in this journey until she is able to join university. She keeps failing but still continues persuing her dream until she finally graduates. At that time her teacher is already succumbing to alzheimer’s disease whereby he starts forgetting her and other memories too. On her graduation she ensures that her teacher is the first one who sees her in the gown and when he sees her he starts remembering bits from the past. They start pronouncing the letters together. It’s the teacher now learning from/with his student. Another inspiring story for teachers especially those dealing with special needs. What we learn? Teachers really have a great impact in our lives more than we assume.

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Creative Non-Fiction

DISTORTED AS EVER

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Photo Courtesy: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/

By: ‘Mtoto wa Katama’

I remember when I was young, I was a penchant for the history of the world. Tales of ‘great men’, colonizers, freedom fighters, wars, politicians so on and so forth. If it wasn’t for the skewed education system in my country, probably right now I would be ‘languishing’ in the department of history in a university somewhere in the world. My love for history and how society came to be was greatly influenced by my father. A confusing character I must say, I would be convinced if someone confronted me and told me that my father lived a double life. He was an introvert by nature, and you could probably tell he had a ‘blast’ during his teen years, the endless stories of how he was the ‘coolest teen’ among his entourage. Yes, he had an entourage and one of my uncles who happened to be Mr. Kenya was part of his crew, and you can imagine the crew back in the 60’s.

Back to the endless stories, my father would narrate to me about the world war 1 and the sequel of it, and how Africans fought in the two wars which had nothing to do with them, imagine being ‘kidnapped’ a thousand miles away from your family, in the middle of nowhere standing with a rifle being ordered by someone who considers you his ‘subject’ to fight for your ‘freedom’. My father would just make you look stupid by asking you questions randomly in between the narrating like who Otto von Bismarck was, and while your just wondering trying to figure who the hell the guy was, he would pump you with ‘intel’ about the guy he just mentioned and heartily would sympathize with himself for paying school for a person who didn’t know who Otto van Bismarck was, but deep in my heart I knew he was doing all of that on purpose and probably found joy in making people look stupid by claiming that he is all knowing.

I remember this one time I was watching television with him, and all of a sudden a reggae music concert is aired on the television. My father with a lot of confidence he said that he knew the reggae artists, and they came from Taita Taveta, a local town just kilometers away from the city of Mombasa and that the television guys were not being honest for claiming that the guys came all the way from Jamaica. And there after he gave us a proper ‘lecture’ about fraud in the music industry during the yester years and how he gave a local promoter a beating of his life for failing to bring a Congolese artist after luring him to buy tickets for the whole of his crew for the concert and brought a quack artist, I can definitely picture what the guy went through, believe me when I say it was horrible. Later I came to found out through my brother who was an adherent fan of ‘Rastafarians’ who later was given the option to be a Muslim or Rastafarian after my father found that Rastafarianism was indeed a religion practiced by native Ethiopians that indeed the reggae artists truly came all the way from Jamaica but my father would not concede defeat and kept on to his word and even went further to claim that he even knew each artist and their whole clan. And that was my first disappointment with my first history teacher.

Through the years I came to learn that never learn about history through the society including my father but rather through the lenses of the society. This was evident in the history that I learnt in school about my country, its founding fathers, its heritage, its people and if I were to keep that and probably claim to be ‘educated’ I would have end up to be the greatest fool of all time but I hear they don’t give awards for that title. One thing I came to learn is that every society ‘sanitizes’ its own history according to its own political ambition and even betraying its own, I am not saying that we should not learn history from our own communities but rather we should hold its contents with a question mark and not subject it to total credence. Because overtime we have come to learn true ‘history’ after being fools for many years. Like back in junior school, we were taught to believe in that the Mau Mau literary fought the colonial masters and defeated them and such we became a free country, leading to our independence. With all the due respect to Mau Mau for their courage and valor, they were part of the struggle of the dream to liberate themselves and they paid it with blood, sweat and tears. A price so heavy that when we never taught in schools how they paid it in order to be politically correct and preserve diplomatic ties with your former ‘master’. I came to learn of the British transgressions after the former Mau Mau remaining members chose to sue the British government for damages and demanding recognition of the transgression, they were not able to mount a criminal case per say since the claimed transgressors who were acting under the orders of the Kingdom which is still in existence were not alive. I was overwhelmed with sadness for days, after reading through the atrocities committed especially against the women. But one thing that should not obscure our minds is what really happened, during the 60’s and the activities that lead to our independence.

During the early 60’s many African countries were gaining independence and it was by design, like in Kenya that transition was well organized and ‘peaceful’, it was a wave of independence glaring over Africa especially for the so called ‘African nationalists ‘who some neither never participated in any warfare but rather had the privilege to be learned others even in some foreign countries and assumed the realm of power. If Mau Mau so called ‘guerrilla warfare’ was solely responsible for the gaining of independence, why didn’t some of their ‘field Marshalls’ assume positions of power not even a single Mau Mau freedom fighters that I know of came even near to an influential post in the post-colonial  government. It was because Mau Mau was not a nationalist movement but rather an ethnic block which mainly constituted of ethnic Kikuyus and they had harbored no nationalist’s ideologies, their only agitation was to get their ‘fertile’ lands and protest their economic deprivation. Let alone the British, the Mau Mau never came near to defeat the home guards who were mostly Kikuyus and some even considered to be more ruthless than the white colonizers. Their uprising was short-lived and what followed was inhumane crackdown on Mau Mau followers which led to the arrests and detention of many ethnic Kikuyus which some other central and lower eastern tribes. With the continued state of emergency and ruthless crackdown some high profile Mau Mau leaders came out of hiding with the lure that they will be granted amnesty only to be arrested and executed after flawed court hearings.

By the time Kenya was gaining independence through ‘political goodwill’ from the colonial master, some remnants of Mau Mau were still hiding in the bushes not fighting but rather escaping arbitrary arrest and execution. And only after the assurance by the ‘founding’ father that they will be granted amnesty and a promise of having their land back which was the initial reason for uprising, they came out of hiding, and had ‘stints’ with the founding father and after a while their joy was short-lived, even the founding father held them with suspicion and did not want them in any process of engineering the country through self-rule. The questions to ask are if the Mau Mau uprising solely led to the independence of our country? And if yes, why did they come out ‘weaker’ from the bushes unlike other popular uprisings?  Like the Spanish and Napoleonic wars, with the likes of Simon Bolivar. If the Mau Mau were the political factor that lead to lead to self-rule, why did they become political weaker after independence.

The only reason why the Mau Mau were recognized was to hide the shame of the ethnic community which has already produce three presidents and hundreds of influential political leaders, they ‘sanitized’ their own history of betraying the Mau Mau and accorded them statues like Dedan Kimathi and a national holiday called ‘Mashujaa Day’. And forcing millions of Kenya through our education curriculum to learn that our independence was literary fought with armed resistance until we ‘defeated’ the British colony blinding the descendants of Mau Mau that their fathers and grandfathers blood was not spill in vain while they still languish in poverty. The British were so ‘defeated’ by the Mau Mau and thus leading them to ‘humbly’ invite our nationalists leader, the likes of Jomo Kenyatta, Oginga Odinga to the Lancaster house to discuss how they will approach self-govern. It would have made more sense if the representatives in the Lancaster house were the Mau Mau leaders. Long live the Mau Mau for standing and fighting for your land as and being heroes for your own communities. Your struggle shall never be forgotten and never be ‘sanitized’ to fit the political will of those who betrayed you.

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