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100 HADITHS ON WOMEN (PART 2)

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You may read part 1 at: http://lubnah.me.ke/100-hadiths-on-women-part-1/

B. CLOTHES AND ADORNMENTS                                                                                        كتاب اللباس والزينة

1. Adding false hair

A’isha reported that a girl of the Ansar who had fallen ill and had lost the hair was married. They (her relatives) thought of adding false hair (to her head). So they asked Allah’s Messenger(ﷺ) about it, whereupon he cursed the woman who adds false hair and the woman who asks for it.
Sahih Muslim 2123 a

عَنْ عَائِشََة، أن جَارَِيًة، مِنَ الَأْنصارِ تزَوَّجتْ وَأََّنها مرِضَتْ فتمَرَّطَ شَعْرَُها فأرَاُدوا
أَْن يصُِلوُه فسألوا رَسُوَل اَّلِلّه صلى الله عليه وسلم عنْ ذَِلكَ فََلعَنَ اْلوَاصَِلَة وَاْلمُسْتوْصَِلَة

2. Tattooing

Ibn ‘Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) said:
The Messenger of Allah cursed the maker and wearer of a wig and the tattooer and the one who is tattooed.
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim

وعن ابن عمر رضي الله عنه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ةلعن الواصلة والمستوصلة والواشمةوالمستوش
(متفق عليه)

3. Creating spaces between teeth, plucking hair from the face

Narrated Ibn Mas`ud:
Allah has cursed those women who practise tattooing or get it done for themselves, and those who remove hair from their faces, and those who create spaces between their teeth artificially to look beautiful, such ladies as change the features created by Allah. Why then shall I not curse those whom Allah’s Messenger has cursed and who are cursed in Allah’s Book too?

عَنِ اْبنِ مسْعُوٍد ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قاَل لعَنَ اَّلُلّ اْلوَاشِمَاتِ، وَاْلمُسْتوْشِمَاتِ، وَاْلمُتَنَم صاتِ وَاْلمُتفَ لِجَاتِ لْلحُسْنِ، اْلمُغَي رَاتِ خَْلقَ اَّلِلّ، ما لي لَا أَْلعَنُ منْ لعَنه رَسُوُل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَْهوَ فِي كِتَابِ اَّ لِلّ.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5943

4. Evil make-up

Sa, id b. Musayyib reported that Mu’awiya said one day:
Should I narrate to you the evil make-up. Allah’s Apostle(ﷺ) forbade cheating. It was during that time that a person came with a staff and there was a cloth on its head, whereupon Mu’awiya said: Behold, that is cheating. Qatada said: This implies how women artificially increase their hair with the help of rags.

عَنْ سَعِيِد بنِ اْلمُسَيبِ، أن معَاوَِيَة، قاَل ذَاتَ يوْمٍ إَّ نكُمْ قد أحَْدْثتمْ زِيَّ سَوٍْء وَإَِّن نبِيَّ اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم نَهى عَنِ الزُّورِ . قاَل وَجَاَء رَجلٌ بِعَصا عََلى رَأسَِها خرْقة قاَل معَاوَِيُة ألَا وََهذا الزُّورُ . قَاَل قَتَاَدُة يعْنِي ما يكثِ رُ بِهِ النِ سَاء أشعَارَُهنَّ مِنَ اْلخرَقِ
. Sahih Muslim 2127 d

5. False impression

It was narrated from Sa’eed bin Al-Musayyab that Mu’awiyah said:
“The Messenger of Allah [SAW] forbade giving a false impression.”

عَنْ سَعِيِد بنِ اْلمُسَيبِ، أََّن معَا وَيَة، قَاَل إَِّن رَسُوَل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم نَهى عَنِ الزُّورِ .
Grade : Sahih (Darussalam)
Sunan an-Nasa’i 5092

6. Wearing revealing clothes (tight, transparent attire)

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger(ﷺ) as saying:
Two are the types amongst the denizens of Hell, the one possessing whips like the tail of an ox and they flog people with their help. (The second one) the women who would be naked in spite of their being dressed, who are seduced (to wrong paths) and seduce others with their hair high like humps. These women would not get into Paradise and they would not perceive the odour of Paradise, although its fragrance can be perceived from such and such distance (from great distance).

عَنْ أبِي هرَْيرََة، قاَل قَاَل رَسُوُل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ” صِنفَانِ مِنْ أهلِ النارِ لمْ أرَُهمَا قَوْمٌ معَُهمْ سِيَاطٌ كأذَْنابِ اْلبقرِ يضْرُِبوَن بَِها النَّاسَ وَنِسَاٌء كَاسِياتٌ عَارَِياتٌ ممِيلَاتٌ مائِلَاتٌ رُُءوسهنَّ كَأَسنِمةِ اْلبخْتِ اْل مَائَِلةِ لَا يْدخُْلنَ اْلجَنة وَلَا يجِْدَن رِيحها وَإن رِيحََها لتُوجَُد مِنْ مسِيرَةِ كذا وَكذا ” .
Sahih Muslim 2128 b

7. Applying heena to nails

Narrated Aisha, UmmulMu’minin:
A woman made a sign from behind a curtain to indicate that she had a letter for the Messenger of Allah. The Prophet(ﷺ) closed his hand, saying: I do not know this is a man’s or a woman’s hand. She said: No, a woman. He said: If you were a woman, you would make a difference to your nails, meaning with henna.

عَنْ عَائِشََة، – رضى الله عنها – قَاَلتْ أَوَْمتِ اْمرَأٌَة مِنْ وَراِء سِترٍ بِيدَها كِتابٌ إَِلى رَسُولِ اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فقبضَ النبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَدُه فقاَل ” ما أَْدرِي أيُد رَجُلٍ أمْ يُد اْمرَأةٍ ” . قَاَلتْ بلِ اْمرَأٌَة .
قَاَل ” لوْ كنتِ اْمرَأة لغَيرْتِ أَظفارَكِ ” . يعْنِي بِاْلحناِء .
Hasan (Al-Albani)
SunanAbiDawud 4166

8. Wearing gold and silk

Abu Musa Al-Ash’ari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) said, “Wearing of silk and gold has been made unlawful for males and lawful for the females of my Ummah.”
[At-Tirmidhi].

وعن أبى موسى الأشعرى رضى الله عنه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: “حرم لباس الحرير والذهب على ذكور أمتي ،وأحل لإناثهم”

9. Copying men

Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas:
The Prophet(ﷺ)cursed women who imitate men and men who imitate women.
عَنِ اْبنِ عَباسٍ، عَنِ النبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أََّنه لعَنَ اْلمُتشَبَِ هاتِ مِنَ النِسَاِء بِالرِ جالِ وَاْلم تَشَبهِينَ مِنَ الرِ جَالِ بِالنِسَاِء
Sahih (Al-Albani) SunanAbiDawud 4097

10. Clothing and covering

Narrated Aisha, UmmulMu’minin:
Asma, daughter of AbuBakr, entered upon the Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) wearing thin clothes. The Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) turned his attention from her. He said: O Asma’, when a woman reaches the age of menstruation, it does not suit her that she displays her parts of body except this and this, and he pointed to his face and hands.

عَنْ عَائِشََة، رضى الله عنها أن أسمَاَء بِنْتَ أَبِي بكرٍ، دخََلتْ عََلى رَسُولِ اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَعليَْها ثِيابٌ رِقَاقٌ فأعْرَضَ عَنها رَسُوُل اَّلِلّه صلى الله عليه وسلم وَقَاَل ” يا أسْمَاُء إَِّن اْلمَرْأة إِذَا بَلغَتِ اْلمَحِيضَ لمْ تصُْلحْ أَْن يرَى مِنها إِلَّا هذا وََهذا ” . وَأشَارَ إَِلى وَجْهِهِ
وَكَفيهِ
SunanAbiDawud 4104

11. Dragging of hem (the edge of a piece of cloth, such as the bottom edge of a skirt or dress, that is folded over and sewn)

It was narrated that Umm Salamah said:
“The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was asked how much a woman should let her hem drag. He said: ‘A hand span.’ She said: ‘But then it will uncover her (feet).’ He said: ‘A forearm’s length, and no more than that.'”
Sahih (Darussalam)
Sunan an-Nasa’i 5339

عَنْ أمِ سََلمََة، قاَلتْ سُئِلَ رَسُوُل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم كَمْ تجُرُّ اْلمَرْأة مِنْ ذَْيلَِها قاَل شِبْرًا ” . قَاَلتْ إذًا ينْكشِفَ عَنها . قاَل ” ذرَاعٌ لَا تزِيُد عليَْها ”

12. A dragging hem is purified by what comes after it Abdur-Rahman bin Awf’s Umm Walad said, :

“I said to Umm Salamah: ‘Indeed I am a woman with lengthy hems, and I walk in places of filth.’ So she said: ‘Allah’s Messenger said: “It is purified by what comes after it.”
Hasan (Darussalam)
Jami` at-Tirmidhi 143

عَنْ أمِ وََلٍد، لعَبد الرَّحْمَنِ بنِ عوْفٍ قاَلتْ قُْلتُ لأمِ سََلمََة إِ نِي اْمرَأة أطِيلُ ذَْيلِي وَأَْمشِي في اْلمكانِ اْلقذرِ فقاَلتْ قاَل رَسُوُل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم
””يطهِرُُه ما بعَْده :

13. Regarding perfume

Narrated Abu Musa:
that the Prophet(ﷺ) said: “Every eye commits adultery, and when the woman uses perfume and she passes by a gathering, then she is like this and that.'” Meaning an adulteress.

عَنْ أبِي موسَى، عَنِ النبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَاَل ” كُلُّ عَينٍ زَانِية وَاْلمَرْأة إِذَا استَعْطَرَتْ فمَرَّتْ بِاْلمجْلِسِ فَهيَ كذا وَكذا يعْنِي زَانِية ” .
Grade : Hasan (Darussalam)

To be continued…

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Deen (Religion)

100 HADITHS ON WOMEN (PART 1)

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Indeed, the path of knowledge is very very long. It goes on for eternity and is an ocean of its own. Nonetheless, that does not mean that we shouldn’t strive to acquire knowledge and information that will perfect our worship, bring us closer to Allah and guide us to be better human beings.

Abud-Darda (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “He who follows a path in quest of knowledge, Allah will make the path of Jannah easy to him. The angels lower their wings over the seeker of knowledge, being pleased with what he does. The inhabitants of the heavens and the earth and even the fish in the depth of the oceans seek forgiveness for him. The superiority of the learned man over the devout worshipper is like that of the full moon to the rest of the stars (i.e., in brightness). The learned are the heirs of the Prophets who bequeath neither dinar nor dirham but only that of knowledge; and he who acquires it, has in fact acquired an abundant portion.” [Abu Dawud and At- Tirmidhi].

It is by this that I bring forth to you ‘The 100 Hadiths on women’ that consist of some, NOT ALL, important basic hadith concerning women. This does not mean that only women should read this because it also involves other people around her like her husband, her mahrams and the men she may deal with in daily life.

Kindly do make time to educate yourself with these short, clear and precise narrations that will definitely be beneficial for you and those around you. Share it and make dua for the compiler as well.

You are free to quote and use the text so long as you give proper referencing of the hadiths without misquoting what was said.

Ibn Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
I heard the Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) saying, “May Allah freshen the affairs of a person who hears something from us and communicates it to others exactly as he has heard it (i.e., both the meaning and the words), for it may be that the recipient of knowledge understands it better than the one who has heard it.”
[At-Tirmidhi Book 13, Hadith 14]

May Allah Subhanahu Wataala accept it from us and count it among our hasanat together with whoever shares it. May He purify our intentions in every good deed we do and may He make us among those closest yo the prophet peace be upom him in the highest ranks of Jannah. Ameen.

So here it is; part 1 of the ‘100 hadiths on women’

A. PURIFICATION كتاب الطهارة

1. The going out of women for answering the call of nature

Narrated `Aisha:The Prophet(ﷺ) said to his wives, “You are allowed to go out to answer the call of nature. ”

“.عَنْ عَائِشََة، عَنِ النبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قاَل ” قَْد أُِذَن أن تخْرُجْنَ فِي حَاجَتِكنَّ”

Sahih al-Bukhari 147

2. Women and wet dreams

Narrated Aisha, UmmulMu’minin:
The Prophet (ﷺ) was asked about a person who found moisture (on his body or clothes) but did not remember the sexual dream. He replied: He should take a bath. He was asked about a person who remembered that he had a sexual dream but did not find moisture. He replied: Bath is not necessary for him. Umm Salamah then asked: Is washing necessary for a woman if she sees that (in her dream)? He replied: Yes. Woman are counterpart of men.

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ سُئِلَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَنِ الرَّجُلِ يَجِدُ الْبَلَلَ وَلاَ يَذْكُرُ احْتِلاَمًا قَالَ ‏”‏ يَغْتَسِلُ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ وَعَنِ الرَّجُلِ يَرَى أَنَّهُ قَدِ احْتَلَمَ وَلاَ يَجِدُ الْبَلَلَ قَالَ ‏”‏ لاَ غُسْلَ عَلَيْهِ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ فَقَالَتْ أُمُّ سُلَيْمٍ الْمَرْأَةُ تَرَى ذَلِكَ أَعَلَيْهَا غُسْلٌ قَالَ ‏”‏ نَعَمْ إِنَّمَا النِّسَاءُ شَقَائِقُ الرِّجَالِ ‏”‏ ‏‏

( حسن إلا قول أم سليم المرأة ترى الخ  (الألباني
Sunan AbiDawud 236

3. Women seeking religious knowledge

A’isha reported: Asma (daughter of Shakal) asked the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) about washing after menstruation. He said: Everyone amongst you should use water (mixed with the leaves of) the lote-tree and cleanse herself well, and then pour water on her head and rub it vigorously till it reaches the roots of the hair. Then she should pour water on it. Afterwards she should take a piece of cotton smeared with musk and cleanse herself with it. Asma’ said: How should she cleanse herself with the help of that? Upon this he (the Messenger of Allah) observed: Praise be to Allah, she should cleanse herself. ‘A’isha said in a subdued tone that she should apply it to the trace of blood. She (Asma) then further asked about bathing after sexual intercourse. He (the Holy Prophet) said: She should take water and cleanse herself well or complete the ablution and then (pour water) on her head and rub it till it reaches the roots of the hair (of her) head and then pour water on her. ‘A’isha said: How good are the women of Ansar (helpers) that their shyness does not prevent them from learning religion.

عَنْ عَائِشََة، أن أسْمَاَء، سَألتِ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَنْ غُسْلِ اْلمَحيِض فقاَل ” تأْخذ إِحداكُنَّ ماَءها وَسِْدرََتَها فتطََّهرُ فتحْسِنُ الطُُّهورَ ثمَّ تصبُّ على رَأْسَِها فَتَْدُلكه دْل كا شَِديًدا حَتى تبلغَ شئُوَن رَأْسَِها ثمَّ تصُبُّ عََليها اْلمَاَء . ثمَّ تأخُُذ فِرْصًَة ممَسكًَة فَتَطهرُ بَِها ” . فقاَلتْ أسْمَاُء وَكيفَ تطََّهرُ بَِها فقَاَل ” سبْحَاَن اَّلِلّ تطََّهرِينَ بَِها ” . فقاَلتْ عَائِشَُة كأََّنَها تخفِي ذلكَ تتَبعِينَ أثرَ الَّدمِ . وَسَأََلته عَنْ غسلِ اْلجنَاَبةِ فَقَاَل ” تأخُُذ ماًء فتطََّهرُ فتحْسِنُ الطُُّهورَ – أَوْ تبْلِغُ الطُُّهورَ – ثمَّ تصُبُّ عََلى رَأسَِها فَتَْدُلكُُه حتَّى تبلغَ شُ ئُوَن رَأسَِها ثمَّ تفِيضُ عََليها اْلمَاَء ” . فقَاَلتْ عَائِشَُة نِعْمَ النِ سَاُء نِسَاُء الَأْنصَارِ لمْ يكُنْ يمْنعُُهنَّ اْلحَياُء أن يتفَقهنَ فِي الِدينِ .
Sahih Muslim 332 c

4. Cleaning menses on clothes

Narrated Asma’: A woman came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, “If anyone of us gets menses in her clothes then what should she do?” He replied, “She should (take hold of the soiled place), rub it and put it in the water and rub it in order to remove the traces of blood and then pour water over it. Then she can pray in it.”
Sahih al-Bukhari 227

عَنْ أسْمَاَء، قاَلتْ جَاَءتِ اْمرَأٌَة النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فقاَلتْ أرَأيتَ إِحَْداَنا تحِيضُ فِي الثَّوْبِ كَيْفَ تصْنعُ قاَل تحُته، ثمَّ تقرُصُُه بِاْلمَاِء وََتنْضحُُه وتصَلِي فِيه

5. Permitted acts during menstruation

Narrated `Urwa: A person asked me, “Can a woman in menses serve me? And can a Junub woman come close to me?” I replied, “All this is easy for me. All of them can serve me, and there is no harm for any other person to do the same. `Aisha told me that she used to comb the hair of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) while she was in her menses, and he was in I`tikaf (in the mosque). He would bring his head near her in her room and she would comb his hair, while she used to be in her menses.”
Sahih al-Bukhari 296

عَنْ عُرْوََة، أنُه سُئِلَ أتخُْدُمنِي اْلحائِضُ أوْ تْدُنو مِن ي اْلمَرْأة وَْهىَ جُنبٌ فقاَل عُرْوَُة كُلُّ ذَِلكَ علىَّ هيِ نٌ، وَكُلُّ ذَِلكَ تخُْدُمنِي، وََليسَ عََلى أحٍَد فِي ذَِلكَ بأسٌ، أَخْبرَْتنِي عَائِشَُة أنَها كاَن تْ ترَج لُ ـ تعْنِي ـ رَأْسَ رَسولِ اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَهِيَ حَائِضٌ، وَرَسُوُل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم حينئٍِذ مجَاوِرٌ فِي اْلمَسْجد، يْدنِي لَها رَأْسَُه وَْهىَ فِي حُجْرَتَِها، فترَجُ له وَْهىَ حَائِضٌ.

6. Hand dye while on menses

It was narrated from Mu’adh that: A woman asked ‘Aishah: “Can a woman who is menstruating, dye her hands?” She said: “We were with the Prophet and we used to dye our hands, and he did not tell us not to do that.”
Sahih (Darussalam)
English : Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadith 656 Sunan Ibn Majah

عَنْ معَاذََة، . أن اْمرَأة، سَألتْ عائِشة قاَلتْ تخْتضِبُ اْلحَائِضُ فقاَلتْ قد كنا عِند النَّبِيِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ وََنحْنُ نخْتضِبُ فلمْ يكنْ ينَْهاَنا  عنُْه

7. Taking ghusl bath with closely plaited hair

Umm Salama reported: I said: Messenger of Allah, I am a woman who has closely plaited hair on my head; should I undo it for taking a bath, because of sexual intercourse? He (the Holy Prophet) said: No, it is enough for you to throw three handfuls of water on your head and then pour water over yourself, and you shall be purified.
Sahih Muslim 330 a

أمِ سََلمََة، قاَلتْ قلتُ يا رَسُوَل اَّلِلّ إِ نِي اْمرَأٌَة أَشُُّد ضَفرَ رَأسِي فأنقضُُه لغُسْلِ اْلجَناَبةِ قَاَل لَا إَِّنما يكفِيكِ أَْن تحْثِي عََلى رَأسِكِ ثلَاثَ حَثياتٍ ثمَّ تفِيضِينَ عََليكِاْلمَاَء فتطُْهرِينَ

8. Regarding flowing blood after menstruation

A’isha reported: Fatimah b. Abu Hubaish came to the Apostle (ﷺ) and said: I am a woman whose blood keeps flowing (even after the menstruation period). I am never purified; should I, therefore, abandon prayer? He (the Holy Prophet) said: Not at all, for that is only a vein, and is not a menstruation, so when menstruation comes, abandon prayer, and when it ends wash the blood from yourself and then pray.
Sahih Muslim 333 a

عَنْ عَائِشََة، قاَلتْ جَاَءتْ فاطِمَُة بِنْتُ أبِي حبَيْشٍ إلى النبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فقاَلتْ يا رَسوَل اَّلِلّ إ نِي اْمرَأة أسْتحَاضُ فلَا أطُْهرُ أفأدعُ الصلَاَة فقاَل : لَا إَِّنمَا ذَِلكِ عِرْقٌ وََليسَ
بِاْلحَيضَةِ فإذَا أقْبََلتِ اْلحَيضَُة فََدعِي الصَّلَاَة وَإِذَا أدَبرَتْ فاغْسِلِي عنْكِ الَّدمَ وَصَلِي

To be continued…

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ALL THE FEELS, ALL THE TIME

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Image Courtesy: Salma Abdulatif

Look at those overflowing emotions. What does one do with a heart like that?
Lubnah AbdulHalim
~The Striving Soul

I’ve loved words for as long as I can remember. I’ve dived in libraries, drowned myself in piles and piles highlighting every bit that speaks to me. Turned to poetry and mastered every line that touched me. Listened to great speeches and jotted down the parts that moved me. That’s what happens when you’re a hopelessly inept person struggling vehemently to properly express yourself. When you know what to say but do not know how to.

It’s not often a book captures the entirety of the human condition; warts and all. On survival. Mental health. How it can get from 0-100 real quick. On life and the meaning of it all. Trying to see sense in a world that doesn’t make any and enjoying that confusion. On loneliness and how it’s not similar to being alone. The struggles with the feeling of ever being enough and whether your work will amount to something. Whether you’ll amount to anything. But more than anything, a book about faith, silver linings and that no matter what… “we got this.” Ladies and gentlemen, as rare as they occur; a gem; The Striving Soul.

The Striving Soul is a book by the extremely hardworking, extremely gifted Lubnah AbdulHalim A.K.A Strokes of my Pen. I promise, her skill with the quill is undeniable. The book is a thought-provoking emotional rollercoaster providing us glimpses into the soul of a highly sensitive anxious overthinker (Her own words). It’s real, it’s raw and it’s beautiful. If you think yourself hard as ice, this is the book that will melt you. I could keep on marching these chorus lines of clichés but it wouldn’t actually touch even the tiniest bit on how emotion-packed and impactful this book is. It’s a different experience all on its own. And will leave you wondering, how much depth can one tiny person have?

And when I say an emotional rollercoaster, I actually mean that. The beginning bits are mostly soul-punching, finding you in the pits of despair hovered by dark stormy clouds. And it journeys you through the crawl to the top at which you get to see your life with fresh eyes. With optimism. Her idealism kind of rubs on you as she sucks you into her world where; …humanity is divine and love is eternal. Where mountains of pain erupt yet the breeze of solace interrupts. Where understanding is a rule and reading between the lines is an art. Ask me and I’ll introduce you to my world; where poverty is a blessing compared to the cruelty around. Where laughter and smiling heal a broken heart. Where souls pray from dawn to dusk and find piece in the smallest things. Ask me and I will introduce you to my world; where darkness and light never meet. Where you and I will never be apart.
What a world to be in?

The main take-away for me was “choose you.” No matter what. And that being you is the secret sauce to creating magic in this world. So:

Let us do what is no longer ordinary. Let us be ourselves.

Image Courtesy: Salma Abdulatif

For more information on the book, you can contact the following number: 0704 731 560

You can get your copy at the following places:

Mombasa:  IOU centre, also known as MLC centre.

Chetna Restaurant, 2nd floor. Along Haile Sellasie Road. Ahead of Oil Libya petrol Station and just before Royal Court Hotel.

Contacts: 0770 136 463/0770 630 997

Open from Monday to Saturday: 8:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.

Nairobi: from Ahmed: 0718232852 

For parcels to other areas of the country contact: 0704 731 560

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BOOK REVIEW: THE STRIVING SOUL

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Photo Courtesy: Ahmed Elmawi

Have you ever had the experience of reading a book till the end, closing it, watching the world move on while you lay there feeling like you just lost a bosom friend?

DISCLAIMER

All views expressed here are my own and do NOT represent the opinion of any entity. I have also NOT received payment of any kind that I’m aware of.

All you are left with is a wistful collection of the writer’s words of wisdom that you obsessively re-read to feel their presence again. You wish you could turn back time just a little, back to the moment you opened the first page. Well, if that hasn’t happened to you yet, let me introduce you to my lost friend The Striving Soul.

We have been inseparable!

When I first got hold of it, something strange caught my attention. Some of the pages were essentially blank apart from a few paragraphs at the top. “Mmm, that’s not very economical.” I thought to myself as I began reading.

I was barely two pages in when, lo and behold I just had a startling realization! The few words at the top were so powerful, so thought-provoking you needed the space to breathe, to contemplate, to let it resonate with your whole being.

I literally had to tear myself away from the book after every few pages. I just couldn’t rush through it, not with the kind of emotions it aroused. I was left feeling both gratified and saddened when I reached the final page.

The author began writing consistently at the young age of 12, started a successful blog lubnah.me.ke at the age of 25 which was nominated by BAKE(Bloggers Association of Kenya) in 2016 among the top 5 creative writing blogs in Kenya, is a part time lecturer and has written two biographies; Unbroken Wings published in 2017 and Dropped to the world, Adopted by Faith published in 2018. I mean, need I say more? ?

The book touches on the struggles we all face albeit to varying degrees such as anxiety, depression, loneliness, shame, the need for recognition, the need to fit in, sexual harassment but in a way that inspires you to rise above the feeling of complete powerlessness and to embrace your true power.

The writer implores you to wear your emotional scars as the ornaments they are and to use them to fuel your success.

The language is simple and easy to comprehend but each word weighs heavily on your heart. I cried, I smiled and I revelled in it’s beauty.

If you are the kind of person who isn’t given to philosophical contemplation in any significant sense then this book is sadly not for you.

Nothing I have said above could honestly do justice to this book, the excerpt below will speak volumes instead:

Everyone thinks they’ve had it worse. Everyone thinks their story is more devastating, more terrifying, more everything. But everyone carries trauma. We’ve all hit rock bottom, we’ve all been pushed to the edge, we’ve all felt shattered we thought we’d never rise again. True, some people have it worse, but we are all on the same ship in unpredictable weather. We could sink any moment and not everyone can swim against the currents. Not everyone survives. -The Striving Soul

It’s a book I would probably never pass on, never lend out but you can contact this number; 0704 731 560 or order via Instagram @strokes.of.my.pen to get your copy for just 1000Ksh. Thank me later.

I repeat for the sake of emphasis, I do NOT stand to benefit from the book’s purchase in any way.

Have you read a book you absolutely adored? Please let me know below. I would love to check it out.

Peace.

***
You can read more of her work at: https://kenyanmuslimah.com/

***
The books are available at the following location:
IOU centre,
Chetna Restaurant, 2nd floor.
Along Haile Sellasie Road (Ahead of Oil Libya petrol station and just before Royal Court hotel)
Contact: 0770 136 463/0770 630 997

In Nairobi, we have some few copies available with Ahmed: 0718 232 852

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ANNOUNCING THE UGANDA INTERNATIONAL WRITERS CONFERENCE

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Participating delegates will be: Writers, poets, bloggers, playwrights, publishing professionals, critics, academics, journalists and books enthusiasts from Africa and its Diaspora.

Expect an eclectic mix of exciting activities including:

*Panel discussions on stimulating and thought-provoking conversations
*An ‘In Conversation With’ session with Jackie Kay
*Book launch: Manchester Happened by Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi (published May, 2019)
*A literary evening of poetry performances and readings

For additional information, registration fees and any other queries, please contact us on:

Email:info@africanwriterstrust.org |kizzaatawt@gmail.com

Telephone number: +256 752 570573

Post: P.O Box 6753, Kampala, Uganda

Website: www.africanwriterstrust.org

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YOU ARE WORTHY

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You are worthy because Allah created you. Because you are one of His creatures.
Because He knows your name.

As human beings we sometimes struggle with our feelings of worthiness and perceptions of our own value.

We see someone who has ‘more’ than us and we feel less. We look at his big house, his four wheel drive and his gadgets and we feel less.
We see someone who has ‘accomplished’ more than us and we feel less.
We are awed by his multiple university degrees, or his lofty job title or the powerful people he knows and we feel less.

A lucrative career does not make someone worthier and neither do excellent grades or being multilingual or being “gorgeous.”

Just know that you are worthy just by being you.

Ladies, take note- you do not have to look a certain way or look like someone else or take off your hijab to be worthy.

You do not have to torture yourself with toxic chemicals because you desire to keep up with the Khateebs or the Alwis. You do not have to be a certain weight or a certain skin tone. You do not have to impress anyone to feel valuable.

You are priceless just the way you are.

Parents, take note….your child does not have to bring home straight A’s or win academic awards for you to be proud of him. He is deserving of it just the way he is. Your child does not have to bend over backwards or reinvent the wheel or come out at the top of his respective class for him to be worthy of your love. Put no conditions on your love.
Love him for who he is.

Young people take note. You do not have to smoke, do drugs, skip school to be worthy of your ‘friends’ or to fit in.

You deserve friends who will hang out with you for who you really are.
Gentlemen, take note. You do not have to compete with others to be worthy. You do not have to waste the precious hours of your life trying to prove that you can be more than , have more than or be just like that man you envy and admire.

You are worthy whatever salary you make, whatever you use for transportation, however old your electronics are and even if she is the only wife you have.
You are worthy.

For those of us who are so very abundantly blessed, you can have all that you are blessed to have without believing somebody else deserves it more.
You can learn to be grateful for Allah’s gifts and blessings on you without feeling guilty for having them.

Can you not see that in itself is disbelief and a lack of faith?
It might be a challenging feat learning and accepting that we are worthy. Allah loves us and blesses us in so many ways and that in itself should teach us that we are worthy.

Our worthiness is not defined by age or beauty or net worth or achievements. The more we place emphasis on these things the more people will fall into self loathing and a sense of not fitting in.

You are worthy, dear reader. You are worthy. You have been worthy since the day you were born and your father gave you your name. You are worthy.
You are worthy of all that is good and safe and blessed. You are worthy of great health and prosperity. You have no need to apologise for yourself or your uniqueness which the Almighty bestowed on you. You are worthy. You are worthy.

Say it with me. I AM WORTHY.

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A TIME FOR WEAKNESS

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From the time they get the slap on their backside babies have known how to express their needs. New parents know that rest will not be forthcoming for them unless they meet those needs.

Children are unashamed and unabashed when it comes to being themselves. As toddlers they are curious and full of wonderment. They are also very self-aware. They know when to lay down and give relief to their tired limbs and when to keep going. They know no shame or guilt, they know no filters.

As they grow they start to realise that certain things are no nos. They see that some of their antics are being met with disapproval and that is when they start to hold back.

We are taught from an early age that we must not succumb to any emotion or action that might be perceived as weak.

We must not admit to tiredness or feeling sick or needing a shoulder to cry on. Men, especially, have been programmed or have had it instilled into them that they can be no tears for them (“big boys don’t cry”)

They must show control at all times – except perhaps when they knock their fingers while using a hammer. Perhaps then they are allowed a yowl of pain and an expletive or two.

If you are sick you must soldier on nevertheless because, well, to stop and take some rest would be a fault; a sign of not being able to cope.

You must not admit to being overwhelmed or panicked.

If you are a student – in spite of what our teachers would tell us to the contrary- you confess to not understanding concepts at your own risk. You must be well acquainted with all the formulas and all the names and all the dates. You do not want your school mates knowing that you are struggling even if they are struggling themselves. You do not want to be perceived as weak. You do not want the label “average “, “slow learner” to apply to you.

You must not let on, if you are a parent, that your kids are proving a handful and that you need help. You must do most everything yourself- from scratch if needs be- because well, how else will you measure up?

The standards we set and place for ourselves are ridiculous and inhumane.

Setting worthy and lofty goals is admirable but to pretend to have super human capabilities, to suppress our inherent needs, to be unforgiving of anything less than “perfection” that is the road to depression and anxiety.

To always wear a face of control and an attitude of “having it all together” is to set a precedent for our kids that they must- no matter what- always have their wits about them and their lives be picture perfect.

Why are we telling them this? Why are we growing a generation afraid to show vulnerability, terrified of being themselves?

Perhaps we feel if we ask for help, or show a less than put together ‘in -control- of my- life” person- we will fall in other people’s estimation of us or worse in our own estimation of ourselves.

Perhaps we feel if we admit to not knowing or of being unaware of something we will be judged for it or even taken advantage of because we are so clearly uninformed.

Perhaps we think if we show our true selves and not what the world will have us pretend to be then we will not have the connection we seem to so desperately need. Even at the expense of our own authenticity and uniqueness.

But we humans are ‘weak’. We fall sick, we forget, we lose things and we make mistakes. Owning up to being less than perfect, of needing others, of not having all the answers well, that adds to our beauty as people.

If authenticity, being true to yourself, feeling and showing emotion, needing others, admitting overwhelm , accepting your humanness is a sign of being less than, a sign of ‘being average’ then, my dear friends, I believe it is the time for weakness.

 

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JOB SEARCHING? READ THIS FIRST!

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In my years as administrator I have received my fair share of badly written and just as badly presented CVs, resumes and cover letters.

Candidates might have all the skills and talents required for a position but because they do not take measures to ensure their paperwork is in order or because they make little preparation for the interview, they lose out on the opportunity to land what could be their dream job.

Here are a few Dos and Don’ts to help you put your foot through the door as it were:

PRE-INTERVIEW

1.Research the company or establishment you are applying to. Even if you believe you know all there is to know about them make the extra effort of finding out more about their history, their achievements and their rating in the industry.

Look up their website or blog or their social media presence to update yourself with any latest information regarding them.

2.Make the effort of getting the spelling of their name right!

Do not write their name with an “I” if it is spelled with double ‘ee’. If it is Jameel Cosmetics then do not write “Jamil’ Cosmetics in your cover letter.

It shows, at the very least, a lack of respect for the establishment if you could not be bothered to get their name right!

3.Keep the cover letter short and concise. Prospective employers and/or human resource managers have no time to read three handwritten A4 pages! Make your handwriting is clear and legible and avoid cancelling out a word or writing over it.

If you are sending your testimonials via the internet then the cover letter should be in a serious, practical and professional font. A cover letter is not the place to use flowery or bleeding type.

4.DO NOT FORGET TO INCLUDE A PROPERLY LAID OUT RESUME OR CV with your testimonials If you have no clue how to design an eye catching curriculum vitae, ask for help from someone who does or you can search for ideas online.

It bears repeating that you should not send your testimonials, copies of your certificate of degrees or diplomas without an accompanying CV or a cover letter. Unless you include your birth certificate with the rest of your documents (do not do this, please, unless asked) no one will take time off their busy schedule to figure out from your certificates how old you are or that you went to the local university or that you worked at the rival company for many years.

When planned properly, CVs take the headache out of finding your personal details and professional experience so take extra care with it.Use decent writing paper for both your CV and cover letter. Do not, ever, under any circumstances, tear out a page from an exercise book for your cover letter. Invest in good quality materials and you will be glad that you did when you get the job.

5.Use decent writing paper for both your CV and cover letter. Do not, ever, under any circumstances, tear out a page from an exercise book for your cover letter. Invest in good quality materials and you will be glad that you did when you get the job.

6.Write the cover letter yourself. There is no harm in seeking help by searching online or consulting a friend. Just make sure it is a not a copy paste job. It is easy to tell when the letter is fresh and when it has been ‘borrowed’ if you cannot explain any of the points you included in it.

THE INTERVIEW:

1.Dress the part: if you have done your homework well then you are probably informed about the company dress code. Be decently dressed, smart and relevant. Do not show up to an interview looking like someone you would not want your little sister associating with. Many candidates cheat themselves out of lucrative jobs just by putting on inappropriate clothes.

2.Have all the required documents with you on the interview (even if you have submitted copies of them prior to it). It shows a sense of focus and precision on your part when certain papers are called for and you are able to produce them on demand.

3.Show up for the interview at least a quarter of an hour before the scheduled time. This will give you a few minutes to catch your breath and calm your nerves. It will also show your interviewers that you are an organised person who schedules her time well. Many a promising interviewee fails before she has even started by showing up late.

4.Smile! No matter how nervous you are, just smile! You do not have to show your teeth or give a big goofy grin. It will not seem ingratiating if you put your best foot forward by having a cheerful countenance.

5.Shake hands with a firm grip. Be aware of people’s religious affiliations and err on the side of discretion. Shake hands with only the members of your own gender if you are unsure how to handle greetings.

6.Do not sit until you are asked to and for Allah’s sake do not help yourself to anything on the interview table until you are asked to. Sometimes interviews have to be paused briefly (each establishment has its own protocol) but that is not a license for you to use your phone or poke around. One very promising interviewee lost the vote of one member of the interview panel when she picked up a random document from the table and proceeded to have a look at it during a pause in the interview.

7.Again no matter how nervous you are, inject some confidence into your voice, sit up straight and give clear audible answers. Mumbling does not help you get the job.

8.Show the company or institution what you can do for them, how you can add value to their product or service and not the other way round. Do not declare that you want to advance your skills without adding how those skills will be useful to them.

9.Once they have indicated that the interview is complete, thank them for their time. You may also take the opportunity to inquire when you should expect to hear about the outcome of your application.

AFTER THE INTERVIEW

Finally, once the interview is done let go and let the Almighty take over. If it is to be then He will make it happen. You can take comfort from the fact that you gave it your best.However, that does not mean there is nothing you can do in the meantime.

1. Usually, the interviewers will let you know when you can expect to hear from them even if you did not inquire about it. Again depending on the length of time they take to respond to their candidates (their website should be able to furnish you with the details) they will let you know accordingly.

2.However, if the duration given expires and you still have not heard from them you can send them a follow up email inquiring about their decision. This shows you are still interested in the position. The email itself should be polite and to the point. It is also a good decision to thank them for giving you the opportunity to interview with them.

If you did not inquire and they did not tell you when to expect a response from them and there is nothing on their website about it give it five working days and then email them or you can:

3.  Call. You can also follow up on the results of your interview by calling their offices after the appropriate length of time. State why you are calling and be gracious whatever the response is.

4. If you have been accepted (congratulations!) then the company/institution will instruct you on what to do next. The same care you have taken during the interview and application process should be put towards starting your new job and beyond.

5. If they felt you were not a good match for them some companies will let you know why they have rejected your application while others will just thank you for the interest you have shown in them without giving the reasons why.If you feel you need to know be prepared to hear what they have to tell you and do not take it personally. The worst thing you could do is insult them.6. If after sending an email or calling, you still do not receive any feedback from them after two working days close that chapter and apply elsewhere.

It is only a matter of time before you land the job of your dreams!

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FEMINISM AND FREEDOM

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A job. Bank accounts. Education. Independence. These are among the better privileges a modern woman has over any woman from the past. While we progress into a world of balance and where women can finally be equal to men the measures have tipped again and it seems women have taken more than they should; or have they? As protests of the boy child being neglected arise people have turned a total blind eye to the now over empowered girl child. While empowerment is always positive, too much power always gets to the head.
While feminism has gone a long way in empowering the woman but with every good is a piece of evil.

The biggest side effect of this long time movement is lost morality and while some girls are still struggling with FGM most of the teenagers these days are busy finding their way into mini-skirts, high heeled stilettos and clubbing. Nudity is becoming a new trend and almost every girl has mastered the slogan ‘my dress my choice.’ Freedom of choice has come a long way from being able to work in an office to being able to now being able to conduct as immoral as possible without facing consequences. Sex before marriages is nothing new to our people and has become as Unaccountable as walking in the streets. I wonder if we’ve lost sight of what we were. While feminists worked their way into giving a woman proper rights they didn’t realize they were also working towards lost propriety and increased immorality. Children as early as 12 years old can now get into relationships while our predecessors fought tooth and nail to have marriages pushed till when one was above age of consent, 18 years. And while now 18 is considered too young to marry teenage girls are constantly found with unwanted pregnancies and somehow forced into abortion or school dropout.

Have we exceeded our limits? Has the modern woman been given so much power on her life that she has totally lost control? While the main focus of the feminist movement was independence most modern women have not yet managed to totally become independent of men. Actually most are working their best into each man’s pocket so that someone could shoulder the responsibility for them. Some have been compared leeches for clinging to men just to drain them of their wealth. While we try to bring balance we’ve tipped the measures and instead brought corruption and immorality into our midst.

I do not oppose feminism nor freedom but it’s time we sought the correct path and changed mistakes. It’s not too late. As a society we can all work to guide the upcoming female child on conservation and propriety. Independence and immorality are different but there is a fine thin line between them and it’s us who choose whether that line is crossed. It’s time women called unto other women and reminded each other of how to up bring morally upright children who will know the line. It’s time we set limits before we totally lose it and become savages in human skin cause if we have lost our morality we’ve lost our essence as humans and have become no better than the animals we rear.

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THE SOURCE OF MY ADMIRATION

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All through our lives there are certain individuals that we look up to and aspire to be like. For some these people might be close family members, a beloved school teacher, or even the friend your brother brings home. For many, though, our role models, increasingly, are television and sports personalities or even film stars whose only claim for fame is that they are on the big screen.

Growing up I had my fair share of people I admired: from the aspiring lady architect who inspired me to bury my head in studies so that I could attend university; to a school mate who seemed to have it all together at such a young age and then there was Oprah. 

But as I studied my deen more there was my dearest Ustadha whose reading of the Qur’aan , impeccable command of the Arabic language and sweet disposition made me long to be like her.

Different outlook

Because we are human our needs and aspirations change as we grow older, as we pass through different stages of life, and as we discard old, outdated and sometimes incorrect beliefs.

From time to time I have found myself  pondering what it is I consistently admire in people that I would want as qualities for myself.

The answer came to me as I was looking through the guest list for an event I was attending. On the honour list there were people I would not necessarily admire because- like the film stars – they had nothing they were famous for except for being rich and famous. I wondered what it was that we were teaching our children- that someone was only guest of honor worthy if they worked at big money institutions or were related to society’s ‘big people’?

My Kind of People

I did not realize that the people I am about to mention were the source of my admiration until they became synonymous with the qualities I wanted to embody in my own life. I want to live life with enthusiasm and cheer no matter what destiny brings my way. I want to serve others and find contentment in doing that. I want to be fully, uniquely, unapologetically me. I want to be a symbol of thankfulness and gratitude and I want to create, grow, contribute and make use of my time so that when my time comes I will have no regrets.

In no particular order here are the people who consistently make me want to improve myself:

My neighborhood’s garbage collector: this man whistles and sings as he works. He pushes around his ‘mkokoteni’ full of waste and detritus with the same pride someone driving a Maserati would. He is polite and courteous to all and the neighborhood children love to imitate his call of ‘takataka’

The stench from the garbage does not faze him and from the enthusiasm he shows for his work it is obvious that he knows how important his job is. Unlike his counterparts who would charge you for the size of your trash, he takes the same paltry amount no matter the heaviness of your garbage.

Salame: a collective name I have given to all those ladies out there- and I am privileged to know quite a few- who go out to care and earn for their families inspite of terrible odds. They have health issues of different kinds, they have financial challenges, they are single mothers or they have deadbeat husbands and yet that does not change their personalities or temperaments. They smile widely, they are genuinely grateful for all they have which to some might not look like much. They push on even when they feel like giving up and calling it quits. They do not hand over their responsibilities to someone else even when they could use the rest.

To them I would like to say you inspire me.

I met a lady a decade ago who I will call the champion of the orphans. She works tirelessly to save, serve and educate the orphans of her community in beyond. She is almost destitute herself but her orphans come first. She has had to endure many an ordeal but she forges ahead by the grace of God. In my book she is guest of honor material.

Hababa: My maternal grandmother who passed on in 2016 at the age of 85. Hababa taught us the meaning of good old fashioned hard work and the beauty of the work of your own two hands. She taught us that waking up at 4am is not only possible but pleasurable. She taught us the beauty and integrity in hijab at a time when everyone was embracing ‘modernity’. She taught us generosity, the importance of taking pride in yourself and your home, the responsibility that comes with being someone’s neighbor and why you must always speak your truth. Hababa deserves a whole book in her name May Allah have mercy on her soul. Ameen.

Finally, I admire that one unique, special individual who always dances to the beat of her own tambourine. She who follows the dictates of her conscience no matter what those around her would urge her to do. She who is not swayed by the latest fashion, not awed by what’s trending and is not concerned what people will think of her as she goes about her life. She is the role model I point out to my children.

If we open our eyes and look around we will find heroes and superstars from everyday people that we would otherwise miss. People who make the world a better place by their good character, generous spirit and selfless actions even though they may go unnoticed and uncelebrated. It is them that we should model ourselves after.

 

 

 

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