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I dreamt about Maths today. And when you hear me talk about it you would think I am talking of a lover who broke my heart. The dream was dreadful that I had to force myself wake up ? The last time I had a Math exam was five years ago in high school because right after that I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH Math. I am definitely breaking up with you for good.
But guess what? Foolish Math won’t leave me alone. I keep having disturbing dreams of me being in an exam room doing a Math exam and totally being blank. When it isn’t a Math paper it is Chemistry lol. Please don’t remind me of molecules right now. So back to last night’s dream. I was back in high school, doing a Math exam and I couldn’t even remember how to calculate perimeter. Was it Length plus Width? I leave the exam room to eat chocolate ? with my high school friend; we call her Ms Wheels ? Perhaps that was to make me calm down and remember a few things. When we come back people are done with the exam and guess what?! My paper is not on my desk anymore. I couldn’t find it. Oh now this was becoming depressing. So I decided to force myself wake up. I didn’t want to see the end of it ?
Got me thinking, why do I still dream of Maths out of the MANY beautiful things in my life and in this world? It could be because I really struggled with Maths during my high school era and it was stressing that as much as I put in so much effort into it I barely improved. It was a major failure to me and perhaps that remains stuck in my sub-conscious to date and haunts me in terms of my dreams. It brings me back to the exam room where the failure happened over and over again like a nightmare. Funny thing though is that I never really assumed that the failures had such great impact on me without even noticing it. I wasn’t a complete idiot with zero but I also didn’t perform as I expected.
And I know for a fact that I am not the only one who is being haunted by a failure of the past.
Maybe you started dieting but never lost weight.
Maybe you had a business but never got profit.
Maybe you married but couldn’t save the marriage.
Maybe you didn’t win the competition.
Maybe you didn’t become a super cook as you wanted.
Maybe you didn’t make a change after all.
The maybe’s could go on and on…bottom line is: you feel you are a failure and that could be eating you up subconsciously.
One great lesson I learnt from my own experience is that: however poor you may be in one thing, you are amazingly superb in something else. Your brain can’t fail you entirely. Maybe you failed in being the master chef at your home but you could be the best teacher around.
You may not be the best footballer as you wished but you turned out to be a genius in mechanics.
You may be poor in academics but very intelligent in social and current affairs of the world.
You may have failed in being a powerful public speaker but you are too amazing as a writer.
You may not realize this immediately but failures are what make us better people in life. They make us pursue our strengths and our talents. They make us determined and passionate to be who we want to become.
When I think of my own example of Maths and Chemistry, I imagine how my life would be so different if I managed to succeed very well in them. I would have probably become a pediatrician. I wouldn’t have taken onto my dream journey of becoming a writer. I wouldn’t have explored my talents in Journalism class. I wouldn’t be having this website. You wouldn’t be reading this right now. Of course I would have found other good things on the other field but I would not be what I am today.
And you know one of the consoling things for me is that when you go into a Journalism class, 90% of us didn’t do so well in Maths and Sciences. Maybe just one or two B grades ? In my class we used to really laugh about it because even the lecturers know why we are there; one of the reasons is to totally AVOID Maths. So I learnt that it was okay to be a failure in Maths and sciences. I wasn’t alone so nothing was wrong with me after all. It IS okay. Yes we avoided what we are not good at to explore what is beyond amazing for us.
So whatever ‘failure’ you have gone through, it’s time to change the mentality. Well that includes me of course. Let’s change the name of ‘failure’ to ‘an eye-opener to my better potentials.’ Use all those low points in your life to discover what best suits you and what amazing things you can do with your brain or your hands. You are definitely not a failure. You are a genius still exploring your potentials. Keep going you will get there by God’s will.