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Fitting in


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Human beings are like jagged pieces of a puzzle. Everyone has a different shape with different edges and different shades. That naturally makes us dissimilar. It also makes us unable to fit in positions that can’t accommodate us. Sometimes we break entirely for being pressured to fit into spaces that can’t hold the weight of our value or the sharpness of our edges. The problem is, most times we get so absorbed into the idea of belonging that we forget our own worth. We forget that in this beautiful, wide world, there is something for each one of us too.

In life, there’s always going to be people who won’t agree with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re the smartest individual in the globe, the prettiest, the kindest, the most ambitious…someone will always have something to differ from you. Differences are okay, but more often than not, people do not take them graciously. Someone might be displeased with how anti-social you are despite your excellent grades in school. Another will consider you vain just because you inherited great wealth from your ancestors. Someone else will dislike you for how you dress, or how you work out every day. You’re either lazy or too aggressive. Anorexic or too fat. Dumb or too nerdy. Stingy or too wasteful. It doesn’t matter whether what you’re doing is extremely positive or not, someone out there will always have an opinion about it, about how you should live your life, and most often than not, it will be negative.

The reality, however, is that life is not simply black and white. It is a mixture of so many colours, some that we don’t even have names for yet. Just because your path or choices is different, it doesn’t make you any less valuable. It doesn’t make what you’re doing worthless. In fact, how do you think this world would be if we ALL thought the same way, did the same things, took the same exact paths? How dull and boring would it be then?!

Remember when the Quraysh plotted to kill the prophet due to his faith and call to Islam. The animosity and bitterness they had was simply because the prophet had taken a different path from theirs and he was succeeding at it. The prophet and his closest friend Abubakr Assidiq escaped to Madina and on the way, they took refuge in cave Thawr. The Quraysh had set a prize of 100 camels upon the head of each one so the two friends stayed in the cave for three nights. Horsemen, infantry and tracers of tracks searched the country for them. But once the Quraysh reached the mouth of the cave, Allah prevented them from being seen. A spider had spun a web from a bush across the entrance of the cave. When the pursuers reached close to the cave’s entrance they thought it was impossible that someone could have entered the cave without ruining the spider web. It is recorded that Abubakr had said to the prophet: “O prophet of Allah! If some of them lower their sight they will see us.” The prophet replied: “Silence Abubakr. What do you think of those two with whom Allah is the third?”

Allah Subhanahu Wataala says in surat Tawba, verse 40 concerning this event: “If you help him (Muhammad SAW) not (it does not matter), for Allah did indeed help him when the disbelievers drove him out, the second of two, when they (Muhammad SAW and Abu Bakr) were in the cave, and he (SAW) said to his companion (Abu Bakr): “Be not sad (or afraid), surely Allah is with us.” Then Allah sent down His Sakinah (calmness, tranquillity, peace, etc.) upon him, and strengthened him with forces (angels) which you saw not, and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowermost, while it was the Word of Allah that became the uppermost, and Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.” And this doesn’t only apply to the prophet peace be upon him, it applies to each one of us. Even if the entire world decides to break you apart, they could never do it while Allah is on your side.

People will plot against you. They will slander you. They will throw you under the bus. People will be utterly ruthless sometimes, whether with words or actions or hidden malice in their hearts. They will always feel entitled to an opinion about your life. The important thing is that you never let their doings drown you in sorrow. Every time something is thrown at you, keep picking yourself up over and over again. Do your thing. Work on being a better version of yourself rather than trying to fit in or impress other people. The reality is that you will never please everyone. Try to impress ten people, another hundred will have something else to say against you.

Whatever is done/said to or about you, never let it shake your faith. Or make you think less of yourself. There is a place for everyone. There is a space that is meant for you, good people who are meant specifically to be in your life, things that will suit you. Your thoughts matter, your existence matter, YOU matter. The universe is too large, too diverse and there’s definitely a place for your existence. Choose your battles just as you choose your people. Not everyone is worth fighting for and not every fight is worth your energy. Allah Subhanahu Wataala states in surat Muzaamil, verse 10: “And be patient over what they say and avoid them with gracious avoidance.”

I’ll end this with a quote from my book ‘The Striving Soul’ that I go back to always: They try to bring me down. Do they forget who my Lord is?

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Dear Reader,

*Insert random YouTuber’s voice* Welcome back to my chanoooolll 😀 I pray that this year has brought greater opportunities and moments in your life than the previous. I would like to take a moment to appreciate you and thank you for taking the time to read my write-ups. I never take that for granted.

May God protect you and bless you in ways you never imagined. Ameen! Please stay safe!!

Warm Wishes,,

Strokes of my pen 🙂

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