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Creative Non-Fiction

A TIME FOR WEAKNESS

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From the time they get the slap on their backside babies have known how to express their needs. New parents know that rest will not be forthcoming for them unless they meet those needs.

Children are unashamed and unabashed when it comes to being themselves. As toddlers they are curious and full of wonderment. They are also very self-aware. They know when to lay down and give relief to their tired limbs and when to keep going. They know no shame or guilt, they know no filters.

As they grow they start to realise that certain things are no nos. They see that some of their antics are being met with disapproval and that is when they start to hold back.

We are taught from an early age that we must not succumb to any emotion or action that might be perceived as weak.

We must not admit to tiredness or feeling sick or needing a shoulder to cry on. Men, especially, have been programmed or have had it instilled into them that they can be no tears for them (“big boys don’t cry”)

They must show control at all times – except perhaps when they knock their fingers while using a hammer. Perhaps then they are allowed a yowl of pain and an expletive or two.

If you are sick you must soldier on nevertheless because, well, to stop and take some rest would be a fault; a sign of not being able to cope.

You must not admit to being overwhelmed or panicked.

If you are a student – in spite of what our teachers would tell us to the contrary- you confess to not understanding concepts at your own risk. You must be well acquainted with all the formulas and all the names and all the dates. You do not want your school mates knowing that you are struggling even if they are struggling themselves. You do not want to be perceived as weak. You do not want the label “average “, “slow learner” to apply to you.

You must not let on, if you are a parent, that your kids are proving a handful and that you need help. You must do most everything yourself- from scratch if needs be- because well, how else will you measure up?

The standards we set and place for ourselves are ridiculous and inhumane.

Setting worthy and lofty goals is admirable but to pretend to have super human capabilities, to suppress our inherent needs, to be unforgiving of anything less than “perfection” that is the road to depression and anxiety.

To always wear a face of control and an attitude of “having it all together” is to set a precedent for our kids that they must- no matter what- always have their wits about them and their lives be picture perfect.

Why are we telling them this? Why are we growing a generation afraid to show vulnerability, terrified of being themselves?

Perhaps we feel if we ask for help, or show a less than put together ‘in -control- of my- life” person- we will fall in other people’s estimation of us or worse in our own estimation of ourselves.

Perhaps we feel if we admit to not knowing or of being unaware of something we will be judged for it or even taken advantage of because we are so clearly uninformed.

Perhaps we think if we show our true selves and not what the world will have us pretend to be then we will not have the connection we seem to so desperately need. Even at the expense of our own authenticity and uniqueness.

But we humans are ‘weak’. We fall sick, we forget, we lose things and we make mistakes. Owning up to being less than perfect, of needing others, of not having all the answers well, that adds to our beauty as people.

If authenticity, being true to yourself, feeling and showing emotion, needing others, admitting overwhelm , accepting your humanness is a sign of being less than, a sign of ‘being average’ then, my dear friends, I believe it is the time for weakness.

 

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Inspiration

FROM WHERE YOU STAND

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You have grown up being told you need to be number one in class. You need to win that competition. You need to aim for world-wide accomplishments. Be a billionaire. Get a house or a palace. Get a car. Leave a legacy that will be remembered throughout the continent. Become  the next Nelson Mandela or Oprah Winfrey or Mother Theresa. You were shown that success means releasing a best-seller book into the market, owning an empire and being invited to important events to give a speech. It means people knowing you and asking for your autograph without you introducing yourself. People would ask for selfies and post them on their snapchat and Instagram on how excited they are to meet you. You were tuned into believing that you have to be the best at what you do  for you to be considered an achiever. Break the Guinness world record. Innovate something. Make the AIDS cure. They never spoke these words to you directly, at least not always, but somehow, the system, the media, the people’s small talk made you believe so. You believed them.

Today I want to tell you a different tale; a different narrative to the same story. It is good to have dreams, to have goals, to aim high. It is good to look up to something, to leave a legacy and have an impact on people. But it is also okay to have a simple yet extra ordinary life.

Dear, you are okay where you are. You are awesome for being the best son in the world. Your soul is terrifically beautiful for helping out your old neighbour every day. You are amazing for being your family’s bread winner. You deserve a gold medal for being a loyal friend. You are admired immensely for being a good husband/wife. You are loved for being the most wonderful mother. You will be remembered for your ever-smiling face. You are appreciated for being a hard-working employee. Your kindness can never be under-estimated. If you die today, someone or more people will miss you beyond measure. All that you do; all these things that seem small and obligatory for you are what actually matters. Keep dreaming, keep moving forward but if the doctor told you you have a few days to live, never under-estimate these tiny yet beautiful actions you’ve been doing all your life.

Who cares if you are not a social media influencer but you are the best gift your mother ever had? Who cares if less people know you in real life but your friends appreciate you a great deal? Who cares if your book isn’t being sold worldwide if it has completely changed one person’s life? Who cares if you haven’t broken the world record if the next-door cats treasure you for the food you feed them? Who cares if you don’t own an empire if you are the sole reason for someone’s happiness? Who cares if you under-performed at school if you are best artist around?

Go big, go far but never underrate yourself for where you stand at the moment. Cherish yourself, value your efforts. You are good enough just as you are.

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FUN AND AMBITION; MORE LIKE PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA

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“Fun, how does one have fun?” a million dollar question that has taken roots in the crevices of your being. “Ooh just get the hell out of your head” a Morgan Freeman like voice from the dungeon of nothingness quips. Fair enough, so you get out of your head and then you’re more or less like a drunkard saying anything your mouth will expel with sprinkles of saliva. Stop right there. This right here is your problem my friend. Judgement. Jeez, give yourself a break !

So there’s one Ali. 5’ 8”, lean with muscles clasping on to his body like a fresh, dehydrated and nicely roasted Bruce lee so that the contours of his muscles descend into valleys of seductive which oestrogen charged members of the human species will naturally want to feel.
But that’s besides the point. Point is, this guy doesn’t give a damn about anything. Not in a fortune-500- CEO kind of way. If you know what I mean. If you don’t, most of those dudes are snakes in suits with psychopathic disorders. So our friend Ali is not like that. He just doesn’t care because he’s always having fun. Okay I may have exaggerated there. He sometimes gets concerned when certain girls from certain ethnic/ religious groups ‘distance’ themselves from him because he’s different. I tell you it pisses him. He demonizes them in the most colorful ways possible. Labels them as enemies and gets out of their range. And even that doesn’t consume even 0.5% of his mind space. And even the remaining 99.5% seems like an empty space because he’ll gladly tell you the only city he’d like to visit in Africa is Dubai.

At first you cringe but he couldn’t care less about your judgement at the moment because he’s clearly having the time of his life. But you try to correct him, and he goes “ ooh..so I really love Dubai”. Your critique is suddenly transfigured into a minuscule spec by the vast universe that his “empty” unassuming mind is. What do you do? You get amused and get sucked into his fun laden vibe. You adapt your communication to his level or rather he effortlessly and unintentionally forces you to have fun within his inaccurate but entertaining worldview. You’ll laugh, make weird intonations with your voices that sound so cool; invent a la-r-nguage that adds letter ‘r or g’ within every english wor-g-d possible. And I tell you people dig that stuff. They dig it the way they dig Big Shaq’s ‘Man’s not hot’. From misplacing a city in a wrong continent to defiling English you’ll suddenly give yourself the latitude to be the drunkard you once judged him for. Ooh snap, you suspended your judgement!. Like how I’ve just added a period after the exclamation mark without noticing.

He will then live to go for a Zumba session at his Gym while you go back into the mega project that you are: The career you want to build; the relationship goals that you have; the impact you’d want to live; the weight you want to lose; what you’ll want to cook for dinner and the pile of laundry that awaits you. You begin the downward spiral of monitoring and evaluation as though your life is a United Nations agency. Like dude get over yourself! you’re just a tiny spec of sand in the Milky Way galaxy that has thousands of solar systems.

And now you’re back into that hyper logical mode that only helps you find what’s inaccurate about Ali’s geographical misinformation while he basks in the glory of an “empty” mind and generously shares it with you. And by the way his mind is literally empty because he’s not running a quality control programme in it. He just lives life in the moment. He’s happy or is he?

You want to live like him and be happy but that dude has not paid his rent for the past three months! He says he has big plans for a modeling career that has yet to take off. He’s so much fun that ladies prefer to friend zone him or use him as a rebound until their emotional equilibrium is restored. Some toy with him, in the meantime, until they find a serious prospect. They say he can’t be taken seriously. And yet he’s the least worried, most exuberant creature you’ll ever meet.

In the end you ask: How does one become an Ali with a sense of direction?

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Inspiration

THE MONEY WILL COME

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I was seated with a friend; a lady thirty years older than me (By the way, having older friends is one of the secrets to better growth no joke) and during our conversation about my career journey, I blurted out my thoughts aloud with a sulky face, “I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life.” She looked at me with an astonished face, “Do you even know how lucky you are that you got to start your dream journey so early?!”

So she went on to tell me her own personal story on how she quit her job after working there for 19 long years to pursue her goals. It was a crazy move because she was getting really good pay but decided to let it all go so she can do something she is passionate about. I just sat there with WOW written all over my face because she wasn’t someone you’d think struggled that much to be where she is. You know, the kind of people with a high intelligence, great network, wonderful resume, a name and an identity that makes her very respected. And it just marveled me so much because it just confirmed to me what I’ve always thought; that when you see someone you look up to and consider successful, do know they also had to sweat their way up to where they are.

Sometimes, I am sure of what I’m doing, I’m sure it is the right thing, I’m sure this is what I want until someone just comes out of nowhere to remind me what the society expects. So the narrow path the society expects you to follow is Primary school-Secondary school-University-Get a job-Get married-Do your masters-Have children etc etc and this path isn’t always fixed like this. Sometimes one thing comes before another. Like some get married before university, some do masters before they have children and all that. But then in the end, it is all about this common steps of life people expect you to do in life such that when you step out of the ‘system’, something is very wrong with you. It doesn’t make sense why you’d choose the far and wide path yet everyone else is taking the long and narrow one.

Anyway, as we went on with our conversation, my friend said, “Let me tell you something someone I consider my mentor told me when I informed her I am quitting my job. She said to me, ‘My girl, people will laugh at you. They will think you are crazy. They will say a lot of things, but just go for it. Go after what you are passionate about. THE MONEY WILL COME. Slowly, you’ll start getting clients and you will be fine.” So now I’m telling you the same thing. The money will come. It may be a long-term sacrifice and struggle but I believe you will break it through sooner or later in shaa Allah…”

What I’ve learnt is that the criticisms will never stop. You will remain a mystery because people just don’t understand what you are doing. You will make a lot of sacrifices. You will be BROKE. Did I say BROKE? Yes, you will come face to face with poverty. You will question your choices over and over again because those who took the long, narrow path are succeeding and leading good, comfortable lives. Your friends and age mates are already fulfilling their life ‘expectations’ while you are still trying to figure out who to approach to help you with this new project you want to do or who you can borrow some cash from so you can implement this other new idea. And people will think, ‘This one is always trying a new idea’. It will become hilarious for everyone, sometimes including you. You will be tempted to just settle for anything that comes your way and say, ‘At least I tried.’ Please don’t. You didn’t come this far to quit now. Not this time. Not in ever.

After that conversation, the phrase ‘The money will come’ kept ringing in my mind. Not because the money is the main objective of going after my dreams, but because it would mean I have finally reached the level of being the achiever I want to be. And I wanted to share this with you because I know I am not alone. The free spirits amongst us who are hungry to lead exceptional lives. So here I am telling it to you, ‘All these sacrifices you are making now? They will pay off. Everything will fall into place if you keep walking. Look at the horizon; the long-term benefit not what is just ahead of you. And yes…the money will come! In shaa Allah. And i’m leaving this with you so you can pass it forward to anyone who needs to hear it.

Dare to be different. Be unique, be brilliant. And keep praying. Someday, you will be real proud of yourself and your journey.

A toast to all the go-getters!

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Creative Non-Fiction

THIS PART OF MY LIFE IS CALLED UNCERTAINTY

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It is 3:47 a.m. I am lying in a twist such that my upper body is facing a different direction from my lower part. Yogis would call that the supine twist. I am staring at the shadow of the circling fan on the right wall. I am gazing into the nothingness; blank space. It reminds me of my own brain; tabula rasa. A clean slate. Back to square one. I pick up my phone and reply some messages. In the morning, one would ask, ‘But what keeps you awake at 3:47?’ Uncertainty… This part of my life is called, uncertainty.

I have been here before; this uncertainty phase. It always finds a way to catch up with me. But maybe this is what makes my life interesting. The uncertainty. The not knowing of where you are headed to or even what you want. It reminds me of this famous gif on uncertainty. I smile.

My boss had said, ‘We are caging this bird. We need to let her fly and grow her own wings’ referring to me. This is the only permanent workplace I have worked for nine months. If it was a marriage, I would be having a baby. But I don’t have a baby. It was a comfortable place, perhaps too comfortable for me to have any baby by the end of it all. Then the other day, just on an impulse, I walked in to my boss and said, “I feel confined. I need to grow.” I am not good with confined spaces. Must be the claustrophobia. But I can’t really say I just acted on a whim, I had thought about it for almost two months yet it still feels like a reckless move. My manager sat me down for that ‘goodbye pep talk’ and I asked, ‘so how long do I have?’ She said, ‘One week.’

One week. I remember when it got to the seventh month, I thought to myself, ‘wow…am I really doing this?’


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‘I have no plan.’ I was talking to myself more than I was, to her.
‘I absolutely have no plan.’ And suddenly, I could feel the heat at the pit of my stomach. For the first time I was terrified of my action. How was I going to learn how to start flying within a week without leading myself to starvation? Uncertainty.

It is also just two days ago that I realized my side business was an NGO in disguise. We were doing charity instead of business. I need to go back to the drawing board…this means back to square one. Did I just throw away my last straw keeping me afloat on a stormy night? I curl up in my bed. Uncertainty.

A mentor recently told me, ‘You are already successful, you just haven’t realized it yet.’ And I said, ‘There’s something i’m looking for that I haven’t found. I don’t know what it is but when I find it i’ll recognize it. I still lack utmost satisfaction in me.’ Then he said, ‘That’s where our different definitions of success comes in. Everyone has their own.’


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I now lie flat staring at the ceiling. I am not sure whether I am abnormal, too ambitious or simply living an illusion.A friend told me, ‘You can’t just make an abrupt decision. You need a contingency plan.’ But a contingency plan never existed in my dictionary. So ironic for an over-thinker I know but then not having a plan always pushed me to the edge. So the plan has always been ‘not having a plan’ and i’d just spend hours over-thinking my lack of a plan. Nonetheless, this made me explore all fields I could get myself into. It seems like an adventure and I love adventures. There’s the thrill and excitement that comes with it every time I tried something new. It’s terrifying. So terrifying. The uncertainty. Not knowing where life is pushing you into.

Sigh. Perhaps i’m in the wrong planet or perhaps i’m taking longer strides than my legs can stretch?

I have known failure far too many times to not know the feeling of uncertainty that comes with it. But I never regretted any impulsive action I ever took. Like the times I cancelled contracts just because my clients or bosses were crushing my self-esteem . Who does that really? But my peace of mind is my priority and I just decided i’ll stick to that even when i’m starving to death. If you can trust me with your vision then you might as well trust my abilities. Or the times I started new courses without really thinking ahead or even whether I had the time and resources to do it. My best friend says I’m becoming a risk taker. Risk taker sounds good. I’ll gladly take the title.


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I’m uncertain of what i’m doing, or what I want or where i’m headed to. I just know I have big dreams and goals bigger than myself. I am back at the starting point and doing this all over again but what’s the worse that could happen? Me staring at the ceiling at 3:47 a.m. Not so bad. This too shall pass.

I am still staring at the white ceiling and for a moment, I assume the wall is life. And I say, ‘Surprise Me.’ Life has never disappointed with surprises and the electric shocks that awaken us. But so does God. He never disappoints. My eyes are getting heavier now. I slowly drift back to slumber land. I still have one more week to plan my new adventure…

I still haven’t found what i’m looking for…

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Creative Non-Fiction

TELL ME YOUR DREAMS

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Photo Courtesy: https://c1.staticflickr.com

Tell me your dreams,
Tell me what makes you tick.
Tell me what makes you stay awake late at night,
Tell me what takes you to cloud nine and what makes the stars shine a bit brighter.
Tell me your dreams…I will show you people who’ve mastered the art of dreaming

Perhaps the best thing about my career is meeting new people. But then this is quite ironic for an introvert because meeting people is such a struggle for me. I have to contemplate the whole thing a million times before I finally make up my mind to meet the person i’m to meet. Yet when I think of it, coming out of my shell and my comfort zone has rarely ever made me regret. All I ever had to do was filter their objectives, my objectives, their agenda, my agenda and for those I did eventually meet, I learnt a lot. My perspective has really changed a great deal from listening to people, to their stories, to their dreams…oh, their dreams, you see the spark in their eyes as they tell you their goals and it is just amazing. I met such a lady yesterday and not even my words, can explain the enthusiasm in her voice as she narrates her dreams.

Amina Yusuf is the typical Nairobi Muslim lady; learned, focused, super-ambitious, determined and brave. While she was leading a comfortable life in Nairobi with her three children and husband, in her own home, with a good career, she decided to leave it all to come to Mombasa. The main aim of the migration was to get her children into tahfidhul qur’an and give her children an ideal childhood in Islamic neighbourhood. Upon arriving here, she joined madrasa for one year and up’d her education. It was while she was in madrasa that she noticed how the girl child in the neighbourhood were being left behind; uneducated, child labour, poverty issues, family issues, neglected orphans…and she decided she must make a move.

Without over-thinking, she decided to start an education centre by the name Al Reyhan girls education centre with the little amount she had. She went for shopping and started buying the basic necessities she would need for herself and the girls. She had a special target on which girls she needed to join her centre so she would personally move from one house to another, interacting with family members, befriending them without anyone knowing her intention. It was only after weighing each family’s situation is when she’d recruit the girls; orphaned girls, neglected girls, girls from very needy families who can’t afford to take their children to school, girls who live with their old grandparents with no one to take care of their education needs…until the number of girls got to 97, 52 of which are boarders.

The school system is such that, the entire morning the girls are taught tahfidh and basic Islamic knowledge then in the afternoon, they have the secular subjects. Amina wasn’t going to let her girls feel any less than fellow girls in academies. She would fish for money in her own ways and buy them books, stationary, colours, pads for the older girls, she’d cover the books herself, ensure they eat good food with a fruit at least each day and meat once a week. She’d take them to outings occasionally, give them pep talks, go play with them at the beach early mornings, interact with them and at these times, she says, is when you get to know of the deepest secrets of the children.

 

“I want to mould and shape these girls into ambitious educated women. I want it that some day, the girls at my centre can have quality education such that there is no difference between them and the students at Light Academy. I even told my thirteen year old daughter about my dream and my goal; that if I die like right now, I want her to continue with my legacy because this is the legacy I want to leave behind,” Amina says.

“It’s been tough for us here. I run this place entirely by myself and by God’s grace. Sometimes I push family and friends to chip in but otherwise we have no other way of income. I have rented these two buildings; each having three rooms. I stay in one of the rooms with my three children too. We currently just have three beds, the rest we just lay mattresses in this one room and the girls sleep here. It gets too hot and stuffy sometimes, but what can we do…we need to survive here until we get a bigger place.”

One room being her own and for her three children, the other two being classrooms in one house. The other house which also has three rooms; one belongs to the caretaker and teachers who help around, the other room contains the three beds while the last room is the classroom during morning hours and the place to sleep in the night. I can’t even come to think of how these 52 girls fit into the two tiny rooms.

“We’ve had pretty bad days too. We once had a tv, we had to sell it at some point. There was a time we were all locked inside the house because we had really delayed with rent. The agents wouldn’t let us out. I had to frantically start calling friends and family for help, but alhamdulilah some good group of friends managed to raise the amount in good time and saved us. And sometimes, we have good Samaritans coming by to greet us or bring us some things; sometimes it is university student groups, sometimes just individuals or charity groups. We really appreciate it but then sometimes we have nowhere to store the things. Like someone may bring two cartons of milk and we have no freezer to store. Sometimes I go to neighbours and leave a few in different homes but then it gets to a point I feel burdened to ask that from them anymore. I can’t keep doing that forever. Sometimes people don’t say they are fed up but you can feel it yourself that you can’t ask for favours everyday. So I end up sharing it to the day scholars too so that the milk doesn’t spoil. Or sometimes someone brings a goat, we slaughter and have a feast for lunch and dinner, but since I fear that what remains may get bad, I choose the most needy of families and give them it.”

With all this, Amina still strives to make her centre better and greater.
“As much as I use 8-4-4 system to teach the girls, I decided to give them extra life skills that would help them when they grow up. We have cooking classes at least once a month, tailoring classes, sometimes we make juice, sometimes I come with my small laptop and show them how to use. We have very limited resources but with such a fast developing world, I wouldn’t want them to remain unaware of what is happening around them. I teach them how to be as ladies; the etiquette and manners. I discourage them from going outside past maghrib times (sunset) and sometimes parents come to complain why i’m making the girls be disobedient by refusing to go outside past sunset but I tell them about matters of time and how we need to protect them. I also teach them about women in Islam; the history and of modern world (like Yasmin Mogahed) because if European girls are empowered why not do that for ourselves too? So I give them history lessons of how Muslim women impacted the society. We even have our library we call it ‘maktabatul Aisha’ (Aisha’s library) since she is one of the most educated women in history. We call our sports section ‘Nusaiba’ since she was a brave warrior during the prophet’s time. We call our accounts section ‘khazinatu Khadija’ for she was a successful business woman. And the point of all this is for them to realize the power and importance of a woman in the society. They too can become these women.”

In both two buildings, only three rooms are used for studies. One is the class for toddlers and KG 1. The other room is for KG 2, 3 and class 1. The third room has class 2 to class 6. Every teacher hurdled in a corner with her numbered girls. It is hectic no doubt. Imagine having three teachers teaching different classes, all in the same room. And here, it is like ‘whatever will be will be’. They teach regardless of the limited space to comfortably talk to the girls or for them to bend down to take some notes.

“It’s been 9 months now and I thank God that we have survived until now. Sometimes I sit with these girls and just talk to them. I ask them what they want to become when they grow up and you’d hear one say, ‘I want to get married’. When you ask her ‘why so?’ She says, ‘My family already planned for me to get married to my cousin.’ And this is just a thirteen year old girl. She has no focus, no goals whatsoever because she, the girl child, wasn’t given the knowledge to understand what she is capable of. We have very young children nowadays, as young as 3 who will tell you that they want to be a doctor or a pilot or a teacher. Why then would some girls have such goals in life at such tender ages while other lack any goal at all?”

As we move around and Amina shows me the students of each class, I notice a big girl at KG 3. Immediately Amina says this is class one, I see her quickly sink down and bow her head not to be seen. She is ashamed, I notice.
“What’s her story?”
“Long story. She lives with her step-mum who’s been mistreating her. Sometimes she comes here and slaps her for maybe some minor she hasn’t done or something like that. She’s been neglected, with no education…and she’s been working as a house girl. I didn’t even know that that was her step-mum until lately. Currently, i’m trying to transfer her into our boarding here, so she can study well with a peace of mind. She is just 13 but talk to her and she sounds like 35. She speaks like an adult…”
“That’s what tough life does to you…”
“And there are more of these girls. They need help. They need somewhere safe to go to. There is this young girl here, she’s just four years old but she’s seen a lot. Her mother is a divorcee and a drug addict, she uses bogizi. The young girl has both asthma and sinus. She keeps getting the attacks regularly but the mother is never around or very high…so she stays here with me at boarding. All I want is for her and others like her to have a good life…But I can’t take any more here. I don’t have space for more. We need a bigger place and reach out to more girls.”

Most of the girls come from families with very huge baggage. 60% of the girls are orphans, 30% are needy, 10% are abled. The 10% are the only ones who pay fees which is 1700/= per month. But it is more than worth it because Amina feeds them and provide stationary for them too. We even have break time tea twice a week and porridge three times. Because the aim here isn’t business, it’s to give the students a chance like other children have. So from what the abled students pay is what helps in paying teachers and catering for other needs. By ‘abled’ we don’t mean ABLED. We just mean students who are a bit better than the rest.

I look at Amina and say to myself, ‘This human being right her; she is making a difference.’ I look at her eyes sparkle as she talks of how much she wants to do for the girls, of the sighs between her sentences like she is desperate to reach her goal, of the endless ‘Thank God’…I look at her and marvel. We have made idols and role models from people on social media who do nothing other than make noise, have aimless posts, put up many photos of themselves then call them ‘influential people’. But how did they really influence us? In what did they influence us? Was it ever something meaningful? I doubt. Then there are people like Amina, who’ve sacrificed their good peaceful lives where they could live happily without a worry just to make a difference and bring change in other people’s lives. These are the unsung heroes. The very few who do something great not so as to look great but to create some other great thing. And here now I call for your help to help Amina achieve her dream…

On the 2nd of April, Amina is organizing for a fundraiser food bazaar. She is calling for people to assist her in any way possible. You may donate some food that will be sold, or you may sell your own food on that day then share the profit, or you may just volunteer to help around making the event successful or even come sell any of your other businesses and agree on how to share the profit. The aim of the fundraising is to get money to buy a freezer which is quite necessary for them right now. But there are so many other needs for them.
The girls at boarding sometimes are to go home and they refuse with the say, “Ustadha, at home I can’t have pads. I will just be told to use a piece of clothe.”
So yes, these girls come from very desperate situations you don’t want to imagine. They also need a bigger space/home of their own to move to because that is what will ease a huge burden of rent and congestion. Donate with whatever you can. Volunteer. Or even share this post as widely as possible. Let us make her dream come true. Let us make a difference in these children’s’ lives. The event is also going to a fun day at the same time i.e. a food bazaar plus fun day for children. Entrance is free. Kindly avail yourselves and make this work in shaa Allah.

If you want to assist in any way and would like to talk to Amina, here’s her contact:0797641346/0733341574. God bless you!!

Special thanks to my best friend, Husna, for supporting me in all my projects. God bless your soul always 🙂

Tell me your dreams, I will show you people who have mastered the art of dreaming

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Creative Non-Fiction

DEAR WIFE

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Photo Courtesy: http://feelgrafix.com/

By: Ahmed Shayo

Dear wife,,

How are u doing? It has been quite a while since i felt the familiar pleasure of watching the sun dance in the brown of your eyes. As you can tell, I miss u dearly, so much that I spend my days hear at work loosing myself in the gravity of thoughts that always lead me to you. I pray you are doing fine & well.

I must confess, it is rather unorthodox for me to write a letter, not because there exists a new technology that’s easier & simpler & faster to use than the internet, but because the last time i did this in primary school it turned out to be quite an embarrassing experience for me ?. Then again, since u got out of your way to write down one for me, i’d say I’m obligated return the favor, tat for the tit right? *wink* [no pun intended] ?

So where do I begin? Ironical how you think about someone for so long but when it comes down to putting words to the thought it all goes away. Then again, its always been the effect that you had on me. It should come as no surprise that my love for you seems to supercede the extent of what I can comprehend. Like color, its indescribable how a simple pigment pulls the attention of the eye to the detail it describes,, like the pink on your lips… Or the brown on your skin.. Or the light in your smile. It just is. And i cherish that, not coz i wanna sound like a love lorn Romeo in this letter,, but because they are the 1st things that made me attracted to you. [ps: i still do] ?

As a husband, i find it difficult to adjust to this life of commitment & mutual understanding. Before you came into my life, I ate irregularly, slept in a 1 bed-roomed apartment & rarely stayed home. Being a bachelor back then [a very eligible one i might add] has been a lifestyle i easily & naturally adopted to. Now I’m married with kids & am thinking, damn! I grew up too fast. But I have different priorities now. I have someone I can sacrifice my pleasures for. I have someone that waits for me to get home & when I do, she’s always complaining that i should avoid getting in the house past 10 pm. But hey, a man’s gotta do what he must, and since u decided to steal my heart I gotta work out how am gonna take care of u [i am not complaining by the way so you can relax]. So i’ll do what I can, keep u warm.. Satisfy u to the limits of my abilities [except during soccer matches, hapo itabidi umezee roho safi hadi game iishe ?]

You know, now that I think about it, I am actually proud that I got quite the exquisite taste in choosing a wife. Then again, my dad did have the same taste too so i figure it runs in the family. You are beautiful, so much that I wanna show u out to the world for a brief moment then hide u kabla mafisi wachangamke. That said, I expect u to maintain your dignity, not as a wife.. but as my wife. Ur the epitome of my pride, and if I loose that then I loose my worth. So take care of yourself in as much the same way that u’d take care of me. And i don’t need another wife and have to juggle in between sleeping in separate houses and satisfying both of y’all at the same time. Juzi tayari u almost bit my head off coz nilisahau kukuchukulia slippers kwa fundi ???

So anyway, I don’t really have a lot of standards. & thus letter wasn’t written just so I tell you how to be a wife and behave like one. You are matured. Am sure you have it all under control. This letter was simply to send out a declaration – everything i do, will do, and will never get tired of is keeping u happy. That’s all that matters to me, because as a husband, i believe that should be my top priority. The things we do for love right? You are lucky you married a luhya, cheki vili unatunzwa hapa ?

Am signing out now. These bills won’t go away even if I kiss them like I kiss you *wink*. I love you gorgeous. Take care.

Yours eternally,
Ahmed

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Creative Non-Fiction

DEAR HUSBAND

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Photo Courtesy: www.ayeina.com

Dear Husband

Please notice that I refrained from using the term future because let’s face it, you were my husband ever since our fate was sealed by The Sealer of all Fates. Cool? Okay.

So lately there has been a brawl about future husbands and wives and space and marriage life; I tell you the cycle is vicious. I thought about it and decided, let me give him a heads up on the load of weird and a spicy amount of old-fashion he is about to spend his entire life with.

First things first, or last. Who cares? Spontaneous and flexibility is paramount…as one of my friends keeps it. I am not sure if this is true but my mother always has us like “the way to a man’s heart is his stomach.” Either Biology went wrong here or mother nature is a freak. Again, who cares? I am not as good a cook as your mother or mine is simply because my mother’s recipes do not have exact measurements of the ingredients. She puts everything together and it comes out a nice aromatic pile of edible stuff. Don’t get me wrong. I have done a fair amount of cooking (my ungrateful brothers once said my cabbage stew tasted like weeds). I usually like to think that they were being realest…you know criticising me on my face and praising me behind my back. Either way what I cook has never caused them any food poisoning. So yeeeey!! You know the statement “Cooking isn’t obligatory for the wife. It’s a favor”. I just want to let you know that I am so honored to do you that favor and I promise that in between our careers and job schedules we’ll have at least 2 home-made-by-me meals. I might need help sometimes, please make it easier for me and be considerate when need be.

Guys’ Time?? You have it. I have learnt from my brothers that watching football by yourself doesn’t give you the thrill. Yeah, go watch it with your buddies but I will totally need a payback (before or after…just to make me feel ‘not less important. Heads up…that large container of ice-cream or a weekend get away or even a little help with something in the house would soften me up 😉 ). Since we’re on this subject, please do not feel bad or abandoned when I say I am going to spend time with luby or the girls or even mum. I think that is a fair tat for the tit. In short do not make me feel guilty or have to choose between them and what you love to do with your buddies.

Emotions Sheet?? They say marriage is not a bed of roses. We’re probably going to have rough days and nights. Argue about stuff that may seem silly to either one of us. One or two things I would like from you.
1) we will not do it in front of the kids.
2) we will not take for granted the other’s side/perspective and or thoughts.
3) we will be clear and precise on what is needed to be discussed
4) we will not go to bed angry at the other. (Just in case it’s a huge mess up..dude, I am so taking the bed)
I am going to be honest with you here. I usually have my temper and emotions in check. Learnt it from my old man and brothers. I will be the water when you’re the fire but please do not make me so angry that I end up comparing you to them or wishing I still lived with them.

I am very choosy when it comes to talking about my feelings; especially when I am having a meltdown. I have been known to be bricky. I go silent or rather low-key for a while, it is not your fault, that is usually how I recharge my system. My best friend usually has a hard time getting me to talk about such stuff. My mother, my big brother and her, are among or rather the fewest who know what my mind thinks of or wanders to. Just in case I will lose any of them in the process, please be there to fill in their shoes, or most importantly, take over their place when I am living with you. I have, on several occasions been told that I am good listener and a mood lightner. So if you’re having a stressful day with your workmates, I promise I will be there to talk about it. Or if it’s stuff from work that had to be finished at home, I will help you with that, even if it just means sitting quietly across the table or floor as you work. All in all I wanna be that person whom you can’t wait to tell what happened when we were not together.

Family?? This is one thing I am most afraid of. You know how girls feel threatened by mothers and sisters in law? I have a history of really not caring what people say about me. My mother for example has tried to change me to wearing and acting like a girly girl because I am not like the others or that is not what is expected of me. I like to do things my way. My comfortable way. I am not going to disregard whatever they are going to advise me. But please let it be just that. Advice. Which I am entirely free to choose to follow or not. I am going to defend your honor in front of my family, please do so in yours. I know it might seem like I am asking you to pick my side, but it is not. I am simply asking you to put yourself in my shoes when it comes to such situations and act wisely. I will accept faults when due. I will not accept you siding with your mother or sisters just because “they know you better”. While I am not known to be violent, I am known to be cold and calculating when it comes to proving a point. P.S Your mother and sisters can come over anytime they want. They just shouldn’t interfere with how am raising you and the kids.

Social life?? I do not like people. That is one thing you should know. But when forced to interact, I charm people at it. I am not a fan of huge crowds, so on most occasions where I have the liberty to choose between going to events and staying at home. Home is the definite answer. I like staying at home and having an alone time, but I promise if it’s a work event, or your friend’s or work mate’s wedding, I will definitely be your plus one. I like to think myself as adventurous. Please have a hint of that. I am talking road trips (even if it means going to your mother’s place.), long lazy walks, sight seeing, trying out new risky stuff like bungee jumping (I will never do this…but I suppose I should trust you enough with my life to do this with you because am not even kidding you when I tell you I would NOT do it with my brothers. This is because I learnt my lesson when I let one of them put me in his bicycle’s ‘basket’ and we ended up rolling down some hilly/unleveled grounds.) Though me and Lubnah have stuff in our bucket list, if it’s not accomplished then or she gets a very strict husband who wouldn’t let her or do it with her, please make this bucket full by supporting me/us (you get the point here.)

And now to the most delicate most unappreciated and most sensitive subject. Co-wifing??
This is settled, though my sisters and married friends say it’s hard and that they cannot handle it. I would like to say otherwise. I don’t see it big of a deal that I have a lady whom I share a husband with. Let’s be realistic here and try not to use hearts to think. See, the ratio of men to women is a little unbalanced and kind of favors us more.Fortunately or unfortunately. So I think I would rather you married her so she gets a better life than either letting her suffer or you commit zinaa. I know it’s going to sound ridiculous to the girls, but yeah..that’s just it. Buuuuuut….just because I said this doesn’t mean you do it out of sheer spite or the fun of it. Do it if you feel you must and when you know you can be just with both of us. I mean I will obviously be jealous of her or you and her but I promise I will not be malicious. If I am going to be a co-wife I wanna be the kind where she is comfortable enough to leave her kids with me and know that they’re in good hands. Before we wrap it up, just in case it wasn’t clear, I wanna be the first wife, not for superiority reasons, but just in case she’s not as cool with it as I am. I do not want to be hated for ‘stealing someone’s spot in their husband’s life’.

I think we’re great for now. Just in case you need clarification or I was vague about it. I am not going to be a housewife. I did not just spend at least 22 years of my life getting up and going to school and trying my best just so you let me waste away. That is not fair. To me, my parents and siblings, who’ve always had my back when they weren’t holding my hand. I don’t wanna be that brick in your wall of life. I wanna be the cement that’s holding it together as you build our empire. Do not make me choose you over this. Because trust me, I will not hesitate choosing the latter and I will have nothing to lose in thee process.

On a completely different yet relatable subject. I love reading can we please have a space where I can consider it my personal library?? Also if J.K. Rowling or John Green releases new books. Please get me a copy? Yeah thank you. And I love you for this

Thank you in advance. Feel free to be awed, intrigued, threatened or all at once. See you in a while.

With love,
Your wife who has her priorities and visions set straight.

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Creative Non-Fiction

KEEPING UP THE PACE

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Photo Courtesy: data:image/jpeg

 

With the KCSE exams going on, it isn’t the time to relax or pressure yourself to read all the books in the library. It is important that you avoid any kind of pressure just as not relax more than needed for you. Here are some of the tips to follow as the exams are going on.

  • Read light things

Now that the examination is already in progress, don’t go collect all the books you can, thinking that is how you are working hard. It is at this time that you are expected to read smart; read light stuff that won’t confuse or make you get tired easily. Read the important short notes that you had before hand.

  • DO NOT read throughout the night

No one should lie to you that one whole night spent in reading will help you miraculously. It is your hard work in the entire year that matters right now. Spending the whole night cramming math formulas and biology terminologies will just make you more exhausted before the paper.

  • Sleep as early as you can

After you have gone through your short notes, say a short prayer and sleep! It is important that you wake up very fresh and ready to do the paper. Good sleep means a fresh mind and body.

  • Relax, but with a limit

As the exams are going on, you might, at a certain point start relaxing since you are already used to the exam season. It is good for you to quickly adapt to the system, relax, have some fun with friends during weekends, sign auto books but don’t overdo it too. Just as much as you have time for merry, have time to go through your notes and refresh your memory on what you learnt throughout the year.

  • Honesty matters.

It is at this time that you will have all kind of friends, relatives and even some teachers calling you to seek ‘shortcuts’ so you pass your exams. Remember, this is your life and no one else’s. If you decide to start your life with cheating, then do know that one time somewhere, what you did will reflect back. Be careful whom you associate with at this time. Avoid unnecessary panic because seeking ‘shortcuts’ will just mess your head the last minute.

  • Be confident

Believe in yourself, in your whole year hard work. Don’t let anyone corrupt your mind that you need anything extra to pass. You have all it needs and all you have to do is close your eyes and ears to the wrong people. You are the best and you will definitely achieve your goals.

  • Get closer to God

You need Him now more than ever. At this point, He is the only one who can help you succeed, not your teachers, not your friends, not your relatives and not even your parents. Get closer to Him, pray much and have faith in Him and He won’t let you down.

I believe you got all it takes to get to your goals. Have the same confidence you had from the start, keep up the pace and don’t let any obstacle block your way to success. Wishing you the very best in your exams.

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Creative Non-Fiction

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR CAREER COURSE

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Photo Courtesy: http://heythrop.su/

 

  • Have a goal

It is important that before one chooses the career to do, he/she should think well and consider the following things. Do have a goal on what you want to achieve in your life. Having set your goals is like a step stone to getting to your final destination.

  • Focus on your strengths

It is always better to focus on your strengths when choosing a career course. Do what you are good in and which stands to be the better option for you.

  • Be realistic

Don’t go for the almost impossible choices. Go for what you know you can handle. Don’t just assume you can do it while you can’t. For example is a person seeking a career that needs public speaking while he/she can barely speak out in a group of three. It becomes hectic for the person trying to fit into a course that doesn’t even suit them.

  • Don’t take up anything to please anyone

It is always important one does what he/she is comfortable and enjoys doing. Don’t do a career course because all your friends are doing it or because you heard that it pays well. Do what you think is right for you and not for others. Parents should not persuade their children into doing a course just because they succeeded in it or it is a course that shows your status. They should advise them instead and let them think for themselves what they can do.

  • Money isn’t everything

If your aim is to take up a career choice that pays you a hundred thousand in the first month then it is important you know that money isn’t everything. It isn’t wise enough to take up a career course that will stress you up and which doesn’t suit your personality just because you’re eyeing the big money at the end of the month. This will lead you into getting tired and exhausted of the job at a very early stage. You may consider the money you’ll earn but you must also think of yourself first.

  • Be focused

Be sure of what you want. Don’t be changing your goals each and every day; jumping from one course into another randomly. Decide to settle down into doing the one right thing.

  • Don’t get cheated

No one should lie to you that such and such a course is very tough to do and the other is the easiest thing to do. Every course has its difficulty however easy it may seem. Even the artist who just draws out of his own creativity and talent, there comes times he faces challenges. The challenges aren’t meant to make us fear doing the career but instead they make us stronger to get to our goals.

The most important thing is that you do what you enjoy. Even if it may be difficult or tiresome or monotonous but so long as you are comfortable with it, the rest of the things shouldn’t bother you. Have faith in yourself and go achieve your goals.

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