Tag

world


Browsing
Creative Non-Fiction

THIS TERRIFYING THING CALLED ADULTING

By

Adulting is reaaaallly scary. Spoken like a true human with anxiety right? 😀 You should hear my best friend and I talk about life as we see it right now. You’d think we’re the script writers of The Exorcist or the documentarians of the Ted Bundy Tapes, no in between. I admit, I’m the bad influence here; perks of being friends with a human with anxiety for too long; you start magnifying the terror too!

Is it though? Am I the only one utterly terrified about how life has turned out to be?! Is it just the magnification of my wild, wild imagination?

Absolutely not.

Okay, maybe a liiittle bit. But from what I know, every human from my age group (at least those that I interact with) are in this phase of utter daze. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON??!! (or maybe I just hang out with very weird people, that’s a possibility too 😀 )

But here’s the thing: we now see the world as is. No curtains, no secret passage ways, no short cuts, no shades to protect us from the storms. We now understand why our parents are who they are. Why they raised us the way they did. We understand why home meals are not thaaaat bad. Why they would be so pissed when we stayed out late. Why they would lecture us endlessly about the friends we have. Why sleepovers were such a big no for them. Because truly, life is not how we perceived it. AT ALL. Because even if we had some hurtful and dark experiences in our childhood, most of us didn’t expect things to escalate this way surely ?

And maybe, our elders and teachers shouldn’t just have warned us, because at that age we see warnings as threats and unfair treatment. They should have made us understand what really awaits us too. Maybe that preparation would have helped; to know that the big, wide world is not as sweet and things are not as easy peasy as we thought. I get it, I would want to protect my children too. But hallo?! Not even a disclaimer?! 😀 Strangely, despite coming from a family that armed me with enough education, I still find myself perturbed by this age ? Or maybe no amount of understanding is enough for what really awaits us until we experience it ourselves? It could be so.

So now we have stepped into adulthood and realize that paying bills is actually a huge responsibility. That awesome grades do not necessarily guarantee success in life. That acquiring a job is very, very tricky. That hard work sometimes is not enough to get you to your goals either. That love is never enough in a marriage. That incest, rape and homosexuality is very real. That human beings are very, VERY complex, and sometimes, very cruel. That war, drought and poverty is way worse than we imagined it. That wealth does not always grant you happiness and peace of mind. That the closest people to you could harm you in very unexpected ways. That our education system is like a form of slavery. That health is a huge blessing that we really take for granted. That most connections and friendships don’t last as we’d hoped. That our parents too have their own scars and wounds that most often than not, we know nothing about. That our parents had to sacrifice a lot more than we initially thought to give us the life we have. That they’re aging very fast and the reality of their looming death haunts the mind. And not just their deaths, but the departure of all our loved ones. We now understand the depths of loss and grief. That as much as our Lord is fair and just, human beings are not. That people carry so much baggage and dark, unimaginable secrets with them; you’d neveeer guess.

Sometimes I think to myself: “Wow, someday I will bring a child to this world?!” A world where he could get shot by a stray bullet any day at any age by a reckless police officer. A world where even the religious teachers can’t fully be trusted because sodomy?! I still get very amazed by the people who say they hope to live to a hundred. Hoooooowwwww?!!! Well good luck buddy. You’re my hero!

Maybe some blame for all my terrifying thoughts is my brave old habit of watching documentaries and reading books on real life events, mostly crime. Brave because who has anxiety and still watch/read this stuff?! 😀 Yet when you interact with other people, these same terrifying stories come up. It is true; this world sometimes gets really dark.

Of course all this makes me utterly terrified, but on the flip side, it has made me very, very grateful of the seemingly small blessings. Arriving home safely, having understanding parents, slow, boring days, trustworthy and supportive friends, the ability to pay bills, the small achievements, the ability to understand the world and its people, days where no body part aches, having food daily, having goals and dreams to look forward to, meeting kind, selfless people, the ability to love oneself and push for positive growth and so many other good things.

I see human beings and realize they are much much more than what they dress, or how they look or the bright smiles they flash on social media or even how famous they are. That what is external could never define them justly. I see others struggling and putting so much effort to reach their goals and it warms my heart because I know for sure, their journey might be long, but God never abandons those who truly strive. I see those who have faced major abuse in their lives and how scarred they are, and I understand why they don’t trust other people and I pray for their healing. I understand that life is not simply black and white. There are so so many colours within. There’s still so much we could never fully comprehend.

Let’s just say, I keep being amazed by the things I learn from the universe every single day. From the horrifying stuff (Allahu Must3an) to the heart-melting ones.

Truly, adulting is like attending a major reveal party only to find out it’s a monster with so many layers that is awaiting us. But beneath all the layers of frustration, hurt, angst, and terror, there lies love, compassion, empathy and most importantly, faith. If we all look within ourselves and nurture our souls then we’d definitely have better lives and better resilience. The problems will not stop existing but we’ll have the eye that still sees the good even when all seems very ugly. We will have all it takes within us to soldier on, to still dream, to choose what battles are worth our time, to create a better world, to plant trees of hope and to fully believe in a God that never sleeps and is always watching over us!

***

Dear teenager reading this, pardon me if I have terrified you but I hope by the time you clock into your twenties you’d have armed yourself with over-flowing faith, empathy, gratitude and bravery. Be the ambassador of hope and love. But most importantly, don’t ever think you know better than your parents or elders. Because you don’t!!! Appreciate their input in your life while you still can 🙂

***

by
Keep Reading
Guest Posts

INTROVERT… REALLY?

By

Photo Courtesy: http://cdn-media-2.lifehack.org

Four years ago, I didn’t know the existence of this word. Being a writer (not professionally) and someone who enjoys and loves reading, it is really a shame to admit that ”introvert” was not in my dictionary. But again, I have never been good with vocabularies.

Our dearest, beloved, respected, much appreciated and celebrated uncle Google defines introvert as a shy person. However, if you care to dig deeper to the psychological meaning of the word, you will discover that introvert has got nothing to do with shyness. So I will just blame uncle Google for misleading many of us. Why is it a big deal? Do I go around checking for words wrongly defined by Google? Absolutely no! I don’t even use Google, I prefer Oxford Dictionary 😉

The reason why I took interest on ‘introvert’ is, I believe it is not a coincidence that recently most of us identify ourselves as introverts. Before you throw your shoe at me, I know some of us are really introverts while the rest of us are just shy. Conventionally speaking, shyness is not a trait that is looked at positively; not unless you are a bride. Introvert on the other hand sounds cool to the ears and guys with this personalty are really productive people to hung out with; even though they are not largely celebrated in the society. Nevertheless, I’d rather say am an introvert than to admit my shyness.

The problem, however is not about being shy or being an introvert. The problem is actually how the world has forced some of us to keep to ourselves. We live in a society whereby, what is least important is considered to be the most important; yes I am talking about sources of entertainment. If you don’t know enough about them, then my friend you are automatically sentenced to life time silence. There is lack of kindness in our words and expressions. Our actions knows no boundaries nor show of compassion and consideration to the next person. We treat each other like the ground we step on. who would not want to keep to themselves in such a world?

Kindness, compassion, love, care, humility… they are important traits that give most of us the courage needed to get out of our shells and share our world with others. In today’s world, we listen, not to understand but to catch that shrub, or word said out of place so that it can be a source of entertainment to us years later. Making fun of one another and ridiculing each other is the norm. We observe actions not to learn from them but to find a slip up fit for our critics and harsh comments. We are busy looking out for ways to out do one another, competition is the order of the day leading to hearts that house jealousy and hatred towards each other. Love that is meant to be shown in actions is reduced to sweet meaningless words updated as status on Facebook or cute pictures posted on instagram. Our main focus is to accumulate more and more of anything and everything to ourselves, with no care whom we have to step on to get there. Many are in pain and tears because of our actions but we just don’t give a damn! Humility is a vocabulary to us and it does not matter how many definitions Google and Oxford Dictionary offers, we just don’t seem to get it. I ask again, who would want to be associated with such a world?

We need to see the urgency in making the world a better place. It does not cost you anything to show kindness, love, compassion and humility to others. It all starts with a smile, a ”how are you?” to the disturbed classmate. A helping hand to the lady from the market. A ”thank you” to the one who cooked your meal. A ”sorry” to the one you bumped into in your hurry to catch the bus. Holding the door for the boy coming right after you. A genuine ”well done” to the one who did better than you… the list goes on and on and I am sure I can list a thousand more a like without asking you for a penny from your pocket. So what is stopping you from taking action now?

So back to introvertism; it is so real. And these people too, need our love and acceptance. We should not view them as people with some kind of abnormality, because they are normal just the way they are. It is their different personality, their tendency to keep to themselves that bring balance to the world. So please, have mercy on them and don’t force them into gatherings for long hours, they literally get drained. It is in their solitude that they derive their energy from. But isn’t that what we are all about, diversity? Different personalities? Let’s allow our differences to bring us closer and celebrate the various personalities that are out there. Share your world with the rest of the world.

As for me, I am an introvert, I think. I’m also shy and know very little about entertainment world. So basically I am a part time normal person. And the people around me have accepted that. Most introverts, what they really need is their space. If you deny them that, it gets hard for them to function. But it is not a disease that needs cure. Being an introvert is just like being left handed and the society needs to accept you for who you are and make you feel comfortable among other types of personality. Our world is all about diversity, and we can co-exist. We just have to learn how to share the gifts of life.

by
Keep Reading
Creative Non-Fiction

NOTHING PLEASES THE WORLD ANYWAY

By

NOTHING PLEASES THE WORLD ANYWAY

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

Truly, human beings are the most complex of creatures and each one of us has a different personality from the other. In this life whatever you are, however you are, there must be some people somewhere who will hate you, disagree with you or simply not appreciate you for what you are. As Dita Vee said, ‘You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.’

When you work hard, you are too serious. When you don’t, you are a joker. When you eat, you are greedy. When you don’t, you are a freak. When you read, you are a nerd. When you don’t, you are stupid. You let someone into your life, you are too easy. When you don’t, you’re up too tight. When you tell a secret, you are an attention seeker, when you don’t you are still an attention seeker. You wear make up, you’re a slag. When you don’t, you are old fashioned. When you sleep around, you are a slut. When you don’t, you are frigid. When you cry, you are a cry baby, when you don’t, you are cold hearted. When you wear provokingly, you are an attention seeker. When you wear decent, you are a pretender. When there is war, the world condemns it. When there is peace, the leaders destroy it.

The list could go on and on without ending but all in all, we may as well have to realize that every action we take should have a purpose that to us, is good…the rest of the world doesn’t really matter. Just as people like Hitler have so many haters in the world, there are some people who still adore what the man was. Just the same way, maybe someone somewhere, doesn’t really like what Nelson Mandela stood up for. But that is just life. When you are bad, you are too bad. When you are good, you are way too good to be true. When people don’t know what is happening in your life, they speculate. When you suddenly start becoming rich, they suspect you are either involved with illuminati or you are a corrupt individual. They will always suspect you for something. When they think they know about you, they fabricate. All kind of rumours will spread about you. If it is about that new Mercedes that you bought, stories will go round on what you had to do to get it. Maybe steal some money, maybe oppress someone, and maybe lend from someone etcetera. And when they really know about you, how much you worked to get where you are they will hate you.

When you are sweet, they think you are foolish. They will take advantage of you and step on you like the door mat. When you are firm and strong, they say you are heartless. Even being pretty becomes a crime. They’ll hate you for being pretty. And yet still, they will also hate you when you are not pretty. You barely have any friends at all, why; because you are way too ugly for their company. People will hate you for what you lack. You lack intellect? You lack wealth? You lack good looks? You are not of my standard. And yet still, when you have got everything that everyone wishes for, they’ll still hate you; for having what they don’t.

People who speak out their minds usually have the most haters because they don’t try to fit in with everybody else. The bad news is you can never fit in with everyone. That’s just impossible. The good news is the great never do. So stop the struggle of trying to make people like you. Fact is you can’t please the world. Nothing does anyway.

However much you try, there will always be people who don’t like you; the way you look, the way you talk, the way you dress, the way you speak out your mind, the way you mingle with them, the things you believe in, your intellect, the things you read and listen to. In the end of the day, it is up to you whether you will let people ruin your day and control your actions towards them or whether you will stand up for yourself and be whatever you want to be without fearing or caring what people will really think about you. Do what you think is right to you, do good to your ability and never think twice about doing it more and more. You are not in this world to please anyone apart from God. There will always be people who won’t appreciate your nature, your struggles, dreams and ambitions but for sure, there won’t miss a person who will. So just be a nice person and true to yourself. That’s what really matters.

by
Keep Reading
Creative Non-Fiction

I AM THE CHILD OF THE WORLD

By

Photo Courtesy: http://www.camdennewjournal.com/

 

 

I am the child of the world

born with universal faith and hope

I am the child of Adam and Eve

doesn’t matter if my dad is Abdullah, Salman or Steve

I am the child of Syria

Today was a very sad day at school. It was the burial of my favourite teacher Miss fidya and the compound was covered with people from the media. I remember looking at her with so much admiration, as she talked with so much inspiration. Her smile glowed in the daylight like the moon in the darkest of nights.

‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’

‘I want to be like you; a teacher, a great leader’

She would then smile and pinch at my tiny nose. oh…this is surely more than a loss. The story went round between cries and low whispers. Of how her house was bombed and shattered to pieces. She died alongside her husband, daughters and nieces. The other teachers were slowly weeping too; not just for Miss Fidya but for all the teachers and students our school had lost too. And now I have changed my mind. I don’t want to be a teacher anymore. I don’t want to die like miss Fidya or the others. I don’t want to be a teacher anymore because I am scared to be one.

I am the child of Palestine

My favourite day is eid day because that is the day I get to play with fireworks together with my friends. We all wear good clothes and just after the prayers we go round with my friends buying all colourful fireworks for the night. We go to the park and swing and play the whole day. I love eid. It is a lovely day because I get to eat very tasty foods and snacks from relatives and neighbours. When the night comes, we gather with many other boys and light the fireworks. I love the fireworks; they give me the thrill and really excites me. But now eid is no longer eid. We no longer have eid in our neighbourhood. All we have is long scary days filled with the dust of bombs and explosives. Houses are broken down and we can no longer play outside. Fireworks frighten me nowadays. They remind me of the explosions I hear everyday. I don’t like fireworks anymore; they remind me of our grief, sadness and doom. They remind me that we can never light up the sky with beautiful colours and patterns anymore and instead we have huge infernos lighting up our skies. They remind me that we can never have eid anymore…

I am the child of Yemen

The child who keeps dreaming of honey and heaven. I have a neighbour who has a bakery just across my home. Every evening after school I go to the bakery and watch him make delicious cookies, bread and donuts. I enjoy seeing him put cream in a beautiful way on the cakes and he makes sure to put some on my face. Whenever I would ask him why he would say, ‘you are my birthday girl.’

‘But it is not my birthday.’

‘You are special and birthdays are special and cakes are special so you are my birthday girl.’

I would laugh loudly with amusement and I would ask him the question everyday just to hear him call me ”My birthday girl”. Then hunger striked our city just like the war brought down our city. The baker still made his delicious bread in silence and grief could be seen on his face. Everyone was hungry and he had to lower the prices so to help others. But soon afterwards, people and children came in multitides crying of their broken homes and hunger; he would give them bread for free. Soon there was no flour, sugar or oil to do anything. Hunger was slowly creeping to his door too. He was sad but I still went to him every evening; not to bake or make bread anymore but to sit with him outside his bakery where he sat with his radio listening closely.  I would watch him in silence and wonder.

‘Why do you sit here amo?’

‘I am waiting to hear for the day that I can get my supplies of flour, sugar and oil again.’

‘But why not listen at home?’

‘Because closing down my bakery would mean I have given up hope. I don’t want to give

 up hope. I have faith in Allah.’

That was enough to convince me, and we would sit in silence listening to what the radio had to announce. The baker no longer called me ‘my birthday girl’ coz he no longer had cream to put on my face nor a cake to offer. ..but I understood him and still wanted to sit by him. Soon, the war got worse,  I couldn’t go to school nor could my mum allow me to even go to the baker again. It was too dangerous. It made me so sad; how would i learn how to bake anymore? I would roam around the house aimlessly; waiting for the worst like everyone else. As for the baker, I just watched him through our window as he sat outside his empty bakery listening to his radio. He still won’t give up. He still had faith…

I am the child of Iraq, Nigeria, Afghanistan and Kenya. I am the child of numerous other countries too. I am the child of the universe and the world. I am the child whose dreams are broken in the name of war and terror. I am the child who is deprived from happiness and peace. I am the child who wants to dream yet my soul is held captive in the nightmares of terror. I am the little bird wanting to fly, please don’t break my feeble wings. I am the child of not just a particular country, I am the child of every parent; the daughter of every mother and the son of every father. I am your child, please don’t let me die. I am the child speaking for all the children of the world, please let me grow. I am the child of the world.

by
Keep Reading
Creative Non-Fiction

I WANNA BE A BREAKER

By

I WANNA BE A BREAKER

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

 

Dreams crashing down

like the stars falling down

my thoughts make me drown

is it just my eyes

or is the grass also turning brown?

My heart makes me frown

I wanna be a breaker

not the kind that breaks hearts in a flicker

but the one who takes a break from the world.

Wings broken, with nothing to hold

alas, my heart will forever scold

of the soul that’s grown so cold

but hey, comes the inner whisper

an inner calling, an inner fixer

You can be a breaker

not the kind that destroys

Oh no..not even the kind that betrays

but the one that disappears

The one who deals with his fears.

Tears flowing

Under the moon, so glowing

is it just my soul

Even in daylight, that falls?

Oh yes I wanna be a breaker

not the kind that escapes

his challenges, his miseries

but the kind that closes on the world

to filter, to absorb.

I don’t wanna be a record-breaker

oh no…not even the one to initiate an ice breaker

I wanna take a break

a break from the screams of the universe

I wanna drown into the silence

oh yes I crave for that kind of presence

of nothing but my soul’s stillness

I wanna be immersed in the tranquility

of peace and spirituality

don’t you get it?

I just wanna be a breaker

the kind that takes a break from the world.

by
Keep Reading
Creative Non-Fiction

A BREAK FROM THE WORLD

By

Photo Courtesy: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/

Sometimes in life, all we need is a break from the worldly issues; the waking up very early in the morning, getting the children ready for school, rushing to job, struggling and hustling, coming back very tired while the children are still depending on you to make their dinner and prepare them for sleep. If not that then it is surely the crazy confusing school life were you have to draw the geography features or cramming the biology terminologies, the math formulas and knowing the mole equations of Chemistry at your finger tips. It all seems like there’s total madness everywhere and once you get home you just want to eat and drop yourself dead at your bed.

Life has tested us in so many ways and there are times we just have many thoughts and worries that could barely be escaped but it is healthy that once in a while you disappear from the crowded world and find solace in your own created world. Taking a break or having a holiday doesn’t necessary have to be a journey or traveling to a far place. Sometimes all you have to do is take an off from job for a few days, lock yourself in your house, put off your phone and spend quality time with yourself. You don’t have to be rich to be happy. Just make good use of the little much you have. Watch movies, spend special time with your friends, family and loved ones, talk a walk, explore yourself and learn more things about yourself that you didn’t know before. Take time and reflect more on your life out of the normal routine. Try to plan the necessary changes and ask for God’s help.

Do remember that you are not the only one in this life facing challenges and that very many more would die to have the kind of life you lead. Just as much you seem lost and confused with the busy world, have time to appreciate yourself and the little you were able to achieve.

Have time with your family; let them know how much you love them. Get closer and get to know them better for the memories you make with them are unforgettable.

Make new resolutions for yourself and ensure that you are not going to repeat your mistakes again. Remember, the main aim of the break is for you to make the best use of your time by finding peace; so find it. Go to the beach or calmly sit by the verandah with a novel and a glass of juice beside. Don’t let anyone get to your nerves and avoid meeting pessimists or people who don’t really matter to you. This is your time to be happy and be stress free. It is the time to start falling in love with you. Give charity and smile to everyone you pass by, yes, smile; people would think you are acting like a fool but n the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what anyone thinks.

If you are a student, make new strategies for yourself that will ensure you have a special come back. You don’t have to over work yourself but instead, learn to study smart and still have time to relax.

It is advisable that you take such breaks every once in a while so that your mind can relax a bit and try to be a better and happier person. ‘So laugh your heart out, dance in the rain, cherish the moment, and ignore the pain. Live. Laugh. Love. Forgive and forget. Life is too short to be living with regrets.’

by
Keep Reading

Powered by WordPress