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Creative Non-Fiction

DEAR HUSBAND

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Photo Courtesy: www.ayeina.com

Dear Husband

Please notice that I refrained from using the term future because let’s face it, you were my husband ever since our fate was sealed by The Sealer of all Fates. Cool? Okay.

So lately there has been a brawl about future husbands and wives and space and marriage life; I tell you the cycle is vicious. I thought about it and decided, let me give him a heads up on the load of weird and a spicy amount of old-fashion he is about to spend his entire life with.

First things first, or last. Who cares? Spontaneous and flexibility is paramount…as one of my friends keeps it. I am not sure if this is true but my mother always has us like “the way to a man’s heart is his stomach.” Either Biology went wrong here or mother nature is a freak. Again, who cares? I am not as good a cook as your mother or mine is simply because my mother’s recipes do not have exact measurements of the ingredients. She puts everything together and it comes out a nice aromatic pile of edible stuff. Don’t get me wrong. I have done a fair amount of cooking (my ungrateful brothers once said my cabbage stew tasted like weeds). I usually like to think that they were being realest…you know criticising me on my face and praising me behind my back. Either way what I cook has never caused them any food poisoning. So yeeeey!! You know the statement “Cooking isn’t obligatory for the wife. It’s a favor”. I just want to let you know that I am so honored to do you that favor and I promise that in between our careers and job schedules we’ll have at least 2 home-made-by-me meals. I might need help sometimes, please make it easier for me and be considerate when need be.

Guys’ Time?? You have it. I have learnt from my brothers that watching football by yourself doesn’t give you the thrill. Yeah, go watch it with your buddies but I will totally need a payback (before or after…just to make me feel ‘not less important. Heads up…that large container of ice-cream or a weekend get away or even a little help with something in the house would soften me up 😉 ). Since we’re on this subject, please do not feel bad or abandoned when I say I am going to spend time with luby or the girls or even mum. I think that is a fair tat for the tit. In short do not make me feel guilty or have to choose between them and what you love to do with your buddies.

Emotions Sheet?? They say marriage is not a bed of roses. We’re probably going to have rough days and nights. Argue about stuff that may seem silly to either one of us. One or two things I would like from you.
1) we will not do it in front of the kids.
2) we will not take for granted the other’s side/perspective and or thoughts.
3) we will be clear and precise on what is needed to be discussed
4) we will not go to bed angry at the other. (Just in case it’s a huge mess up..dude, I am so taking the bed)
I am going to be honest with you here. I usually have my temper and emotions in check. Learnt it from my old man and brothers. I will be the water when you’re the fire but please do not make me so angry that I end up comparing you to them or wishing I still lived with them.

I am very choosy when it comes to talking about my feelings; especially when I am having a meltdown. I have been known to be bricky. I go silent or rather low-key for a while, it is not your fault, that is usually how I recharge my system. My best friend usually has a hard time getting me to talk about such stuff. My mother, my big brother and her, are among or rather the fewest who know what my mind thinks of or wanders to. Just in case I will lose any of them in the process, please be there to fill in their shoes, or most importantly, take over their place when I am living with you. I have, on several occasions been told that I am good listener and a mood lightner. So if you’re having a stressful day with your workmates, I promise I will be there to talk about it. Or if it’s stuff from work that had to be finished at home, I will help you with that, even if it just means sitting quietly across the table or floor as you work. All in all I wanna be that person whom you can’t wait to tell what happened when we were not together.

Family?? This is one thing I am most afraid of. You know how girls feel threatened by mothers and sisters in law? I have a history of really not caring what people say about me. My mother for example has tried to change me to wearing and acting like a girly girl because I am not like the others or that is not what is expected of me. I like to do things my way. My comfortable way. I am not going to disregard whatever they are going to advise me. But please let it be just that. Advice. Which I am entirely free to choose to follow or not. I am going to defend your honor in front of my family, please do so in yours. I know it might seem like I am asking you to pick my side, but it is not. I am simply asking you to put yourself in my shoes when it comes to such situations and act wisely. I will accept faults when due. I will not accept you siding with your mother or sisters just because “they know you better”. While I am not known to be violent, I am known to be cold and calculating when it comes to proving a point. P.S Your mother and sisters can come over anytime they want. They just shouldn’t interfere with how am raising you and the kids.

Social life?? I do not like people. That is one thing you should know. But when forced to interact, I charm people at it. I am not a fan of huge crowds, so on most occasions where I have the liberty to choose between going to events and staying at home. Home is the definite answer. I like staying at home and having an alone time, but I promise if it’s a work event, or your friend’s or work mate’s wedding, I will definitely be your plus one. I like to think myself as adventurous. Please have a hint of that. I am talking road trips (even if it means going to your mother’s place.), long lazy walks, sight seeing, trying out new risky stuff like bungee jumping (I will never do this…but I suppose I should trust you enough with my life to do this with you because am not even kidding you when I tell you I would NOT do it with my brothers. This is because I learnt my lesson when I let one of them put me in his bicycle’s ‘basket’ and we ended up rolling down some hilly/unleveled grounds.) Though me and Lubnah have stuff in our bucket list, if it’s not accomplished then or she gets a very strict husband who wouldn’t let her or do it with her, please make this bucket full by supporting me/us (you get the point here.)

And now to the most delicate most unappreciated and most sensitive subject. Co-wifing??
This is settled, though my sisters and married friends say it’s hard and that they cannot handle it. I would like to say otherwise. I don’t see it big of a deal that I have a lady whom I share a husband with. Let’s be realistic here and try not to use hearts to think. See, the ratio of men to women is a little unbalanced and kind of favors us more.Fortunately or unfortunately. So I think I would rather you married her so she gets a better life than either letting her suffer or you commit zinaa. I know it’s going to sound ridiculous to the girls, but yeah..that’s just it. Buuuuuut….just because I said this doesn’t mean you do it out of sheer spite or the fun of it. Do it if you feel you must and when you know you can be just with both of us. I mean I will obviously be jealous of her or you and her but I promise I will not be malicious. If I am going to be a co-wife I wanna be the kind where she is comfortable enough to leave her kids with me and know that they’re in good hands. Before we wrap it up, just in case it wasn’t clear, I wanna be the first wife, not for superiority reasons, but just in case she’s not as cool with it as I am. I do not want to be hated for ‘stealing someone’s spot in their husband’s life’.

I think we’re great for now. Just in case you need clarification or I was vague about it. I am not going to be a housewife. I did not just spend at least 22 years of my life getting up and going to school and trying my best just so you let me waste away. That is not fair. To me, my parents and siblings, who’ve always had my back when they weren’t holding my hand. I don’t wanna be that brick in your wall of life. I wanna be the cement that’s holding it together as you build our empire. Do not make me choose you over this. Because trust me, I will not hesitate choosing the latter and I will have nothing to lose in thee process.

On a completely different yet relatable subject. I love reading can we please have a space where I can consider it my personal library?? Also if J.K. Rowling or John Green releases new books. Please get me a copy? Yeah thank you. And I love you for this

Thank you in advance. Feel free to be awed, intrigued, threatened or all at once. See you in a while.

With love,
Your wife who has her priorities and visions set straight.

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WHEN BULLYING GETS SO REAL

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Photo Courtesy: www.ayeina.com

When you have been a victim of bullying for a greater part of your childhood or even adulthood, the effects of it can be long-lasting. We often take for granted what we say and do to others; very much such that we ignore how much we have affected their lives. My mum told me her story of when she was very young of maybe not more than 10 years. So she was living with her aunty and cousins and one day her aunty trusted her with some money to go deliver to a teacher in her school, who was also a family member. She was so proud of herself. You know the feeling you get when you are trusted from a crowd and given the honour of delivering an amanah. As young as she was, she felt so confident and she walked into the staff room full of teachers with her head held high. She gave the money as expected but unfortunately, the teacher didn’t count the money when she received it (this again shows the importance of checking and confirming what we receive as soon as we get the amanah). Later on, the teacher reported that she received less money. So mum was summoned and asked why the money was less and she obviously defended herself that she gave it as it was. Three of the family members started interrogating her one after another taking turns. One would ask if she had taken the missing money and beat her up in the process, when he got tired another would come and do the same. They kept beating her and beating her until one of them said, ‘we won’t stop beating you unless you admit you took the money.’ Having no other way out, mum confessed of a crime she hadn’t committed and it was only then that they stopped beating her. Although she was let go, she admits that to date, that is one thing she will never forget in her life. That she was declared a thief and harassed and hurt badly for something she hadn’t done. While growing up, she kept saying that she will never forgive those who did that to her. No I don’t blame her. I have several people that to date I say I will never forgive. It’s not easy as one may presume. One side of me really wants to forgive and forget but there is that bitterness you live with for the rest of your live. You become just so annoyed with people and life. You really can’t wait for karma to get back at them. In fact you wish that when it all happens, you be right there to remind them, ‘remember what you did to me? Now this is karma paying you back.’

In psychology, bullying is a distinctive pattern of deliberately harming and humiliating others. They couldn’t exist without victims and they don’t usually just pick on anyone; they single out people who lack assertiveness and radiate fear far long before they encounter bullying, which is so true. I have built walls as big as the great wall of China around me. Its defensive mechanism on always. You don’t wait to be attacked, you are already keeping guard. Most people think bullying is just the physical; pushes, shoves, hitting, kicking and punching yet there is the verbal one of name calling (which I’ve been a victim of), taunts, threats, ridicule and insults. There is also the psychological/emotional manipulation whereby someone blackmails you emotionally so that they can get what they want, a tactic which is mostly used by girls. They keep you close by, discovering your secrets and weaknesses then pap! using you by that. So girl bullies mostly use intimacy as a medium of control. Oh please don’t ask me what I have had to do because of girl bullies. They sometimes spread vicious rumours, mock you; mock you really badly at your looks, your tribe, race, your name, just anything they can mock you about; openly and secretly but since some girls can barely shut up, word will always get back to you. They tell others to stop liking you, they try to dominate you, look at you like crap, Intimidate you, threaten to withdraw friendship in order to get their way or simply giving you the silent treatment. As for boys, their aggression plays into goals shown to be important to them such as physical dominance, have things or instrumentality.

Something like what happened to mum happened to me too in my primary school. It was a boarding and day school but the rules were so strict that no day scholar should ever share or bring food to the boarders. Well it is an absurd rule but they say it is for ‘health and hygiene’ purposes. So my ‘friends’ yes, in quotes, used to borrow me food nonetheless. And since many know of how it’s hard for me to say no, I still used to buy them food or share the one from home as well. So there is a day the boarders were summoned to name out all the day scholars who offer them food. Majority of the boarders in other classes refused to mention names but apparently that wasn’t really my lucky day. So someone, from among’st the ones I used to give food to, mentioned my name. Don’t ask me how I was punished that day. Ask me what my skin colour was by the time I left the office. I had been caned below the knees and the place had turned greenish black such that my aunty had to come to school and complain about the severe punishment. Then you go to class and someone simply says ‘sorry?’ SORRY?!! Seriously?? No, you are not about to say sorry and expect me to forgive you. Some of you will probably think it’s silly to have not forgotten such a small thing. It may be a small thing to you but for me it wasn’t. It was betrayal. Betrayal that made me unable to walk comfortably for a number of days. You know, when you have been a victim of bullying for a long time, you become submissive, so did I. So yes, I still kept sharing my food with these same ‘friends’. I still kept doing homework for people, still giving out my book for people to copy, still giving and giving out more, still doing so much for people I called ‘friends’.

You know, it is so unfortunate that we come from a society that doesn’t value emotions or at what stage of our emotional make up we are at. All we care about is how far we are in material life and the only other important issue we ask about is why or when you are going to get married. It is so unfortunate because people keep their calm in these issues and be like, ‘who in Africa commits suicide because of bullying? I mean, we are born in a scorching sun continent in a hungry continent in a miserable continent where slavery took place. You have no right to be in pain, hurt or even say what you really feel. You have no right to be suicidal, I mean did you forget that the Maumau fighters died for you to live in this independent country?! You forget that what goes into your stomach is more important than those silly thoughts and complaints you have about everything and everyone? You forget that Mandela was jailed for 27 freaking years in jail confined to a small cell, the floor his bed, a bucket for a toilet, he was forced to do hard labor in a quarry. He was allowed one visitor a year for 30 minutes. For you; people like you; for Africa and Africans, for racism to end!! Grow up kid, grow up!!’ And then after that we are surprised when we see people become monsters. You made them so. You, who keeps being reckless with your words and actions. You who keeps complaining whenever victims talk and write about it. Oh, today, for once I won’t bother what anyone will say about this. Please, if you are in pain, if you feel like your world is crumbling by, if you feel like you are just being used then talk about it. Take a speaker and shout it out if it is what makes you feel better. Write. Write many many paragraphs as you wish. Write because it is the only thing that will make you relieved. Draw, shout. Do whatever you want. Please do it but just don’t kill yourself. Do it because you are the only one who knows how much pain you are in. You are the only one who knows what is your drug and what can make you feel better. Let them call you an attention seeker, they called me that several times but are they any better being egoistic judging you by your pain? NO. So let them call you what they want but do what it takes to make you feel better.

Never underestimate the effects of bullying and manipulation. It is like a ghost haunting you forever and unfortunately for me, it took me so long to realize that my ugly past made me end up to be a door mat in my adulthood. So heal yourself in your own way. I usually take these breaks from the world I call, ‘self discovery/realization breaks’ where I just sit alone and think about my life, how I have been and how to be better. I cut out communication with people and log out of social media. Trust me, it is healthy. People will think you are just being a weakling but again, never mind. They know not what your journey has been or is.

There are several reasons why a bully becomes a bully and why a victim becomes a victim. A bully is someone who hasn’t learned kindness, compassion and respect. They usually don’t need a reason to hurt others, they just want to feel stronger, smarter or better than the person they are bullying. They direct their frustrations, hurt, anger and difficulty to others. They just like to feel tough for most of the times they are more physically built than the victim. Sometimes people engage in bullying simply because they are part of a group and not because it is their behaviour. But since they want to feel part and parcel of the group, they participate in anti social behaviour. Well for those who know Miss Agatha Trunchbull of the Matilda movie, then she is definitely the perfect example of a big bad bully. And as for the victims they usually fall into the bully’s trap probably for being at the wrong place at the wrong time i.e. working in a place where the bully considers you a threat, being competent i.e. successful, innovative , creative…you are just prone to envy. Being popular, having strength in character i.e. honesty, integrity, trustworthy, having vulnerability i.e. low assertiveness, Revenge i.e. sometimes a person responds to bullying with bullying or having raised concerns about bullying, fraud, safety or any matter where the bully feels implicated or at risk as a result.

Most of the times, victims cry and assume defensive postures. Being submissive is one of them. Not only do they not fight back, they hand over their possessions, handsomely rewarding their attackers psychologically and materially; powerfully reinforcing them. Perhaps another worst memory I have of my past as a child was how I sometimes used to really convince and persuade my sister to give out her stuff to ‘my friends’ even when she didn’t want to simply because they liked the thing. It haunts me to date for in turn, it made me a bully to my sister.

Bullies’ ultimate goal is to get a response. When they manipulate you psychologically or emotionally, they want to use you to get something i.e. ‘You know you are my best friend and I have no other friend but you, please help me do this…or give me this thing i really like it’ and when they get physical, it is usually to get to your nerves. They want you to fight back and most importantly, LOSE.

The best way to handle a bully is by avoidance; just know when to walk away. You don’t have to listen to them. Sometimes you can use humour to defuse a bully who may be about to attack i.e. ‘guess who is talking? The one with a D at school wants to give me life lessons’. Well maybe not exactly humour but sarcasm. Trust me, sarcasm has been my number two weapon. Well you will know of the first weapon in my next article where i will write about the door mat personality in shaa Allah. Anyway, another way to handle a bully is being assertive i.e. ‘Just back off please…’ or ‘Get a life’. Also you can recruit a friend. Having a friend is one of the most powerful protective measures. Oh ask me about it. I’ve been hiding behind my best friend in forever and she is just untouchable lol. She is God sent trust me 🙂 Another way, you may seek friendly people to be one of them. It helps when you have people to support you and help you stand up when you fall.

As for parents, you need to ensure your children have assertive behaviour. Ask them how their peers treat them, model good relationships at home because bullies are not born, they are made and it starts from the home they grow up in. Instill in your children empathy and compassion; let them learn how to be humane from a young age. One other important thing we should know and let children know too is that bullying is bad for the bullies themselves more than anyone else. It makes them angry and furious people which later on greatly affects their relationships i.e. they become batterers. They usually make identical cognitive distortions and attribute hostility to others where it doesn’t exist. This misinterpretation gives bullies and batterers alike a way to justify violence. It is the greasy gear with which they typically shift onto others the blame for their own misdeeds. Bullies also tend to have their children becoming bullies for they feed the next generation with a belief that the world is an uncaring place, an excuse for another go at hostility.

This thing is very real. Just because we rarely have suicide cases in Africa for bullying as in Western world doesn’t mean people are not victims. Be careful how you treat people. You may have forgotten something you did to someone which you may as well be taking so lightly or silly but someone out there is so bitter with you and forgiving you is not in their dictionary. As for you my dear who has or is a victim, learn to stand up for yourself, and this message comes back to me for I am in my healing stage; trying to calm down all these demons that have been long hidden. Seek help, talk to people you trust and not just anyone or ‘friend’, write do whatever makes you at ease. This is in the long run your journey and no one else’s. This is your shoe that no one has worn so own it by standing up for your rights, your thoughts and your happiness! And share this, share as much as you can. Let others know it is okay, that you are in a journey, that you are growing, that you are healing. Let others know it is okay to seek help and talk of it. And by help I mean going for therapy to a counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist. Don’t let them swallow pills. Be there for victims and most importantly be understanding. I am going to be forever grateful for all those who stood by me when I was too weak to stand up; my family and close friends. Those who forever encourage my healing. Do the same to someone else please. Make a difference today in someone’s life.

References: www.psychologytoday.com
Bullyonline.org

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DEAR FUTURE WIFE 2

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By: Swaleh Arif Sayyid Ali

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful.
Praise and blessings be upon His Beloved messenger, Muhammad (pbuh).

Recently an article was posted, entitled ‘Dear Future Wife’. It tried to describe what men want from women during marriage. Consequently, the article received some backlash, understandably so. However, the criticism, to me, was too scathing and the approach made was not the best one. Admittedly, I did place myself in the position of current and future wives, thereby understanding their anger towards the aforementioned article. As a result, I have decided to write my own version of ‘Dear Future Wife’. Feedback is welcome, positive or otherwise. Bear in mind though, ninety per cent of what you’ll read didn’t come from me, I’m simply re-telling what’s been forgotten…

Dear future wife,

Before I begin, I’d like to give you salaam and may Allah’s Grace and Mercy be upon you always and forever.
As a man living in the 21st century, I have seen how marriage has been degraded to something that is almost worthless (thanks to our own forgetfulness and the emergence of western idealism). However, I’m not writing to you about the failings of society, I’m writing to you about what to expect from me as your future husband.
Marriage is holy and sacred. To seek guidance on something of this nature, one needs to look no further than the Holy Qur’an and the Sunnah of the prophet Muhammad (pbuh). One of my greatest wishes is to be the best husband a wife could ever ask for. The only way I can be that person, my beloved, is by treating you the same way the prophet (pbuh) treated his wives. I know I’ll never reach his level, but rest assured that I’ll do everything within my power to be the kind of husband that Allah and His Messenger (pbuh) will approve of.

I don’t expect you to cook for me. That’s my privilege and not your responsibility. Cook because you want to, not because you have to. I want to know that my dish was prepared with love and your only aim is to please The Almighty (by pleasing me). No matter how bad your food will be, I won’t frown, or abuse you, or even beat you (Allah protect me from such). Rather, expect me to smile and say it was the best dish I’d ever tasted. I’ll eat from the same plate as you, drink from the same cup as you and feed you from my hand. That is an act of charity before the eyes of our Creator.

You’re my other half. I won’t shut you out from my daily affairs, because I will want to seek advice and guidance from you about important issues. You may know something I don’t, there’s no shame in that. I’m willing to quit watching football just so I can spend more time with you. It sounds far-fetched, I know. But you’re my wife and you’ll always come first.

When you’re sad, I’ll be the first person to rush towards you and hug you. I’ll wipe the tears from your face and call you by all those sweet names that you’ll adore so much. I’ll exercise tolerance with love and patience,observe silence when you snap at me during your mood swings, and overlook your flaws while focusing on your desireable traits.

My beloved, there’s so much I want to say, but I’ll stop here. What I have left out, I’ll make sure to add on it through actions once we’re married inshaAllah. Words are worthless if they’re not backed by actions. I know what I’ve promised sounds unfeasible, but if Muhammad (pbuh) could do it, then there’s no reason why I can’t as well bi idhinillah. All I ask, is for you to do good and abstain from evil, in order for our marriage to prosper. For now, know that I have carved out a niche in my heart, waiting for you to fill it.

And Allah knows best.

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8 THINGS PARENTS SHOULD CONSIDER REGARDING YOUNG MARRIAGES

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Photo Courtesy: www.ayeina.com

Personally, I consider young marriages the best thing ever. You are not too old to have fun, do all these crazy things young people do while dating and especially that you can have children at a good age and be able to get playful with them. Yet sometimes, for some people, this may not be the best option for them. Parents usually think differently; their focus is on seeing their children happy and settled. However, they take some things for granted when it comes to young marriages involving their children which thereafter costs not just one person but both parties and families. The following are some of the things parents should keep in mind when dealing with such issues:

1. If it is not a happy marriage then she/he is better off without it. Marriage is an entire life of commitment, patience, tolerance, humbleness, understanding and most importantly, love. If the lady or young man is not interested in the marriage then please do not force them into it. This is about their happiness; not about the parents or two families or the business that would prosper if the two families joined. This is your child’s life at stake here. As much as parents are to be respected since they are more experienced in life and they have the wisdom, don’t assume your child’s happiness is the same as what you would consider as yours. We are living in totally different times and our definitions of everything has changed. Please do not force your child. And even when you are right, then definitely there will come a time they will realize it and appreciate your words but still, do not force. The consequences of that can be tragic.

2. When a young man says he wants to get married, GET HIM MARRIED. Parents should stop denying their young men from getting married due to excuses like ‘he is studying’ or ‘you are too young’. We all know that most men are scared of commitments and we probably know it is because of the responsibilities that come with it but if a young man says he needs to get married then it is because he really NEEDS to get married. When you stop him, do keep in mind you have a share of all the evil this young man will do along the way until the time you think he is old enough. This would be happening well if parents tried to understand their son’s situation and accommodate his financial needs and for his wife whilst he settles down. It is not a bad thing if he is given such support because we all know what a young energetic man can do in this current world when he is denied a wife. There is pornography, rape, fornication etc etc. So which would you rather offer to your son? Financial support or a go-ahead to spread immorality in this already rotten world? Same applies with a lady; even if she is studying but asks for marriage then don’t automatically reject. Advise her, yes but don’t get rough lest she becomes rebellious. Such issues need mature talks rather than abusive ones. This doesn’t mean parents should let them get into marriage just because of intimacy for marriage is a lot more than that. It therefore depends on the young man involved. If he is known to be responsible then why not? If he still needs to be grow up then parents should be there to advise him and guide him before letting him take up the commitment.

3. When a young man says he is not ready to marry then do not force him into it. As much all parents fear for their children on the fitna around and wish for them to settle down as soon as possible, pushing him to get married is unsaid of. Ironic thing about families is that they will be quick to say, ‘get married son, we will support you do the wedding’ so they will contribute thousands and thousands for dowry and a huge wedding and then when the boy comes to borrow salt from their house, they will be the same people to say, ‘see he took responsibilities he couldn’t handle and now he just keeps borrowing here and there.’ Oh! Weren’t you the same people who pushed him to marry even when you knew he is not ready financially and even maybe psychologically? Nowadays we have so many ladies so miserable in their marriages and maybe even have children because her home is just like a lodging to her spouse. He only comes home for food and bed and nothing else. Why? Because the boy was pushed to marry yet he still fancies his bachelorhood life and he lacks maturity. If the young man can control himself then well and good; please let us not ruin ladies’ lives because of an immature being. Again, same applies to a lady.

4. There is nothing like ‘You are rejecting God’s blessing or rizq’. How many times, have we heard parents or other people talk of ‘wakataa rizki’. Truly, marriage is a blessing and there are so many ladies out there who wish that any man would knock on their doors but this doesn’t justify the pressure parents and relatives put on their children so as to get married. We all have to keep one important detail in mind: When God wants something to happen then it WILL happen whether we like it or not; and He knows it better. Therefore, people should stop misusing this statement. If it is one’s rizq then it will definitely happen. It is NOT their rizq that’s why they rejected and most importantly, it is because God did not will it to happen.

5.Coming to the consequences, there are some psychological effects of pushing children to get married. Some end up hating the whole idea of marriage while some go into marriage with an attitude. Where will the peace be found in such a home? The one forced will always be moody and temperamental and will always find faults in the spouse. Where is the happiness there? Some people are lucky that with time they were able to accept their spouse as they are and finally found the peace and joy… but for others it ends up being a miserable life which may end up in divorce. Parents should know that the pressure they exert on their children affects them deeply more than they can imagine. So please stop the psychological torture, blackmail and bullying. Please stop using words like ‘what if we die without seeing your wedding?’. Where is the belief in qadar (fate) here??

6. If someone is on a self-discovery journey then please respect that. Some people have issues; deep issues. Some have very low esteem. Some don’t love themselves. Some are broken. Some need to stand up from their fall. Some need self acceptance. The current generations have too much stress; which is such an unfortunate thing but nonetheless, we can’t close our eyes to these problems. Parents should help their children deal with their emotional problems before pushing them into marriage. How can someone love someone else before they know how to love themselves?

7. Personally, I really dislike when I hear families saying, ‘She is a wild girl, maybe he will be able to settle her down’ Same case with boys. So many times parents have married off their wild, hyper, immature children to partners with good profiles with the hope that they will change. As much as I understand the plight of the parents but this is unfair sometimes for they are using the girl/boy. It is no longer a marriage but rather a therapy. Not unless the other child involved is interested then this shouldn’t be okay at all. Most of the times, the one being used here is the one who ends up being miserable. How do you marry off your daughter to a drug addict just because he needs someone to change him? No one can change anyone except when they are willing so. Change is self driven.

8. Marriage is a beautiful thing really and parents, especially of the lady, should know that when their daughter is proposed then it is her life, her chastity and dignity that is in hand here. As much as you believe your daughter is priceless, do put into consideration how much damage you are causing by demanding high dowry rates or only accepting very rich men’s proposals. Yes money is important but not more important than your daughter’s happiness and dignity.

The old say, if you haven’t tasted marriage then you haven’t tasted the sweetest part of life. It’s a bond that can’t be compared to any other and for us, the Muslims, it can be your reason to go to jannah. So for the married couples, I hope you are doing it right 🙂 And for the parents, please be supportive to your young men and ladies; you are all they got! Because at the end of the day, a young man’s/woman’s perception about marriage is shaped by what they have seen from their parents. So parents have a big role to play in such matters coz you have been it and much as experiences may differ, you are familiar with the common denominators in marriage which might act as critical pointers as to how our children perceive of marriage.But when all is said and done, it is the role of parents to encourage their children to uphold the institution of marriage because negative forces exist and the event of falling into it is a real threat. May Allah protect us all and guide us on the right path.

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EDUCATION: BY LUCK OR BY CHOICE?

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Photo Courtesy: education.ucsc.edu

By: Jamila El-Jabry

In life we are given the same choices like everyone else, nobody is given special resources maybe some people have more options to acquire more choices but mostly the resources for the choices are the same for everyone.
How we go about using the resources is up to us, of course the most open and widely available resource is education. Everyone is given the same option to go to school—well most people do. All students sit in one class and have that one teacher teach everyone equally. But it depends on the certain student what they learn from. Some don’t understand, some interpret differently than others, and some just don’t care. So at the end of the day is it circumstances that make each student gain or not gain from the teacher or is it each individual students choice to gain or not?

Should each student blame society when they can’t understand the teacher? Or should they blame themselves for not making the effort to learn. Most students end up saying “bongo langu halishiki” meaning I can’t seem to grasp the materials taught.

So today with all these people who have bachelors, master and PhD’s and some who have a diploma and certificates in their names, is it circumstances have led them to that or is it a choice? Or the people who have no education or limited education is it the same for them as circumstances have led them there where they are or is choices they chose?

#Food For Thought

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I’M NOT A COWARD TO SO DO

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Photo Courtesy: www.ayeina.com

Poem By: Salsabillah Abdulhalim

I glance about but nobody’s around
I look at my knife, a threat to my life
but I gotta go cause time bids me so
what should I do i’m not a coward to so do.

I hold on to life and drop the knife
blood splutters bright enough to show the light
realization dawns while the heart stones
what should i do i’m not a coward to so do

Sympathizers would bluff while enemies would laugh
the cause of my deed will not bear seed
I might have gone but problems unsolved are not yet gone
so what should I do i’m not a coward to so do.

I stagger to my destination after a long duration
snatch my kit and wrap the cut bit
I gotta fight back or it will always be dark
so what should I do i’m not a coward to so do.

A glass of milk before I get sick
I gotta be strong to fight along
I gotta climb the ladder as i’m under radar
so what should I do i’m not a coward to so do.

After the long drive should I arrive
I would look behind to see the enemy’s teeth grind
I would still give them a hand to bring them on ground
cause i’m not a coward; suicide to again do.

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EMBARRASSING MOMENTS; JUST FOR LAUGHS

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So we definitely have those embarrassing moments that we wished that the earth swallowed us immediately or at least have Harry Potter’s magic cloak so as to disappear from being seen in such a situation. Those moments we waved back at a person waving to the person behind us or when we had an awkward fall in front of other people. This is just for fun; enjoy the read and I would definitely appreciate if you comment yours after reading this article. Let the ball keep rolling. Let’s give people something to smile about today 🙂

Starting with my own; I once took my pregnant sister to the hospital for check up. So there was a queue and the nurse stood at the door calling out names. My sis was called in and she left me at the bench with the rest of pregnant women. The nurse looked at me and asked with raised eyebrows, ‘are you pregnant?’
‘Noo!!’
‘Do you want to be pregnant?’
All the women started laughing and don’t even ask me how fast i left the bench. I was turning purple?

Also, In high school, my best friend and I once wanted to use the computer lab. And since it is sheikh khalifa, we decided that we should confirm first that there is no a boys class inside. To avoid embarrassments, we decided to peep at the key hole rather than open the door and check inside. As i was peeping at key hole the then deputy principal caught us in action. Worse still, he knew my name. So he called out my name in shock and then all he said was ‘good girls don’t peep through key holes’ ? I was more than tongue tied. What convincing justification can you give in such an instance?
###

When I was in class 7…we had Arabic exam in school(integrated school-abuhureira), we made a habit of cheating for the Arabic/religious part because we had a lot of subjects to study for(about 12+the other five secular subjects) and even the secular part sometimes(though generally the secular subjects were less than the other ones and were easier). This wasn’t just one person habit, it was quite popular among students to cheat on those exams, but what made us different was who would come up with a perfect cheating plan and never get caught. Some would go in with papers books etc, they would get caught and one or two will be lucky and never get caught. In the first term exam,my strategically cheating buddies were put in a different class coz our class grew to be big and we had to be divided, so I was alone in a different class where most of my classmates weren’t*** so good in the madrasa part. Immediately I had to come up with a plan which didn’t include going in with Arabic book/madrasa book or paper coz that was tried before and it would be a cliche if I did the same and would most probably end up caught coz the teachers why on high alert for those kind of cheating methods, I needed a better plan which wasn’t tried before(more like cheating in plain sight and no need for hiding anything ) so I decided to write the Arabic stuffs in English eg.( اكتب-uktub) in a normal book, then during the exam put this book in between the exam paper and the desk (coz the papers used to be so thin and the desks were a bit rough plus the teachers were usually okey with that as long as it wasn’t that subjects book-or anything with Arabic for that matter). I spent the whole night writing pages and pages. During the exam I went in and did according to my plan and sat confidently for the paper, then unluckily instead of our usual Arabic teachers(whom by the way I knew that most of them were mostly into Arabic stuffs and don’t really give much attention to English/alphabet written stuffs) didn’t come to supervise us, but instead the IRE teacher came( as we know IRE teachers do both English and Arabic). I tried not to panic and went on with my plan coz I had no backup plan. After a while, The teacher got suspicious of me and he came to my desk, he checked the book and saw the alphabet written stuffs then he moved on, after a while he came back took the book and read it, he started laughing out loud and took me to the office. He embarrassed me infront of all the teachers by telling them that during all his teaching career, he never met anyone who could beat my cheating game. Even years after that, every class he teaches during the exams, he’ll tell the students not to attempt cheating unless they can up my game.

Also I was in primary school and we were watching the Kiswahili news in KTN…my Kiswahili was quite terrible at that time coz I was never brought up in Kiswahili speaking environment (it improved a lot when I joined Sh.khalifa), so in the news there were two women who were fighting over a man, my whole family was there watching and laughing, then my aunt asked whose husband he actually was among the two women fighting for him…then I answered so fast thinking that I knew the answer saying “you didn’t hear the reporter say-mwenye nguvu ndio mwenye bwana”…everybody started laughing and they couldn’t stop for about 5min. I had no idea what made them laugh coz I just answered a question,then my sister finally told me that the report said “mwenye nguvu mpishe” and never said “mwenye nguvu ndio mwenye bwana”
#Anonymous

It was 2009 and i was new in facebook and no one gave me 101 on facebook, my Ex high school friends and I were having a great time sharing jokes in one of his status update, A girl( from the same school as i was) asked one of my friends who is this Ahmed?, I didnt wanted my friend to disclose my identity because i blieved it was haraam to have non-mahram friends from the opposite gender, ‘ plz dont tell her my identity, you know my policy on girls’ i wrote that as a comment, In my head i thought just like email and migg33 ( in those days) no one except my friend will see my comment, I nearly had heart attack when she replied to my comment saying ‘ no one want you kijana sort yourself out’. After that i nearly quit facebook out of embarassment.

Another; an ex classmate of mine created a whatsapp group for abuhureira academy class of 2008. I never thought he will invite me in a mix group( boys and girls) because he knew my policy on such issues, for a day or two all those who took part in the chat were boys only, others knew so they asked me all sorts of question about marriage,age and all nonesense that boys speak when they think no female is listening, i asked a bajuni friend of mine if he got a somali girl for himself( knowing well that he liked them)? He told me mahar yao ni dollar and its rate( dollor rate against shilling was high) is volatile nowadays, I told him that somali men are to blame because they play with women, girls demand lots of dollars not because they want the money but just as an insuarance policy( life insuarance policy against divource). Then what happend next nearly gave my second heart attack, A girl started responding to my chats and she gave me a piece of her mind because she was offended by comparing mahar to insuarance policy.
#Ahmed Garissa, Abuhureira class of 2008.

Most of my embarassing moments are too embarassing to fall on public ears…but in the spirit of this i’ll give a light one,,once i was from the supermarket,i had a huge nakumatt bag..and was currently feelng that after-shopping glow….just outside the supermarket entrance,,i saw an old woman with a headscarf on,,,,who i figured was destitute..she had a lesso on the floor..i moved towards the old lady,put on my charity gloves..and took out some money,,i didn’t care to hand her the money thou….i dropped it on the lesso and immediately turned away,feeln good abwt maself…i heard the mama call me back…i turned back thinkng to maself ”here come the thankkyou’s”…”very unnecessary but if she does i’ll give her more.”..she threw a tantrum..got really pissed and asked me to take my money,,saying she was only waiting for her daughter to leave the supermarket….and that niko na madharau sana,,,,she kept on talking as i left clearly having lost that after-shopping glow…and feelng very embarassed..
#Jama Abby

I Was in class five when a christian guy called emanuel told the whole class that he had a dream we got married
Felt so embarrassed and i started crying?
#Nasrin

So it was in class 7, coast star academy and at asr tym, usually when its prayer time all the boys washika udhu n then go kule up kabisa where thrz the assembly hall then tandika a mat n pray. Hapo i wasn’t religious much…we were just from Nai the year before. Westayed there since nkiwa 3 then moved to Msa for class 6 mpka uko mwsho n i was still adjusting.
So its prayer tym n i’v always wantd to lead the jama3ah; see hw it feels to swalisha pple
. imajin u swalisha pple frm class 4 n wengine ata seniors.
So mtu akakimu, all my frnds are in the jama3ah… nkaanzisha swala freeeshy… then now loudly i started reciting alhamdu… with the beautifullest voice i can ???Apo ndo subhanAllah zlianza. I didn’t know what it meant n I’d never realized tht swalah za daytym watu hawaswalishi wyl recitin loudly.so the more the subhanAllah ikua zasemwa, the louder i recited..nkifkiry ni appraisal vle nasoma vzury…. we mwenywe ungeskia raha…n imajin its a hall…its echoin all over…mpka wakagive up… did the 1st rakaa…2nd..3rd…4th nkafinish…nkicheck nyuma thrz lyk swafu nne tht nnaswalisha…pple r gigglin n smilin at me
What’s evn worse kuliingia tchrs wakasmama kule nyuma kabisa wangoja tumalize they needed the hall kuna meeting wataka kufanya… afu sasa our IRE tchr alkua nao … she jst smiled n the othrz ambao ikua si waislamu wer amazed… cjui walijua ama vp…
Nkirudi class hzo ndo zilkua news… evrybody was told… tht kept hauntin me mpka nkamaliza tht school ?????
#Arafat Abdulrehman

After preps was soo tired so i ddnt wait for jama3a insted i prayd in my room.. so that i culd sleep afterwards.. lol mara nkaskia matron amekaa pale kwa table acheki watu wakiswali coz kuna signing after swalah.. ikanbidii njitokezee hapo prayer room.. but i ws so stupid insted of like pretending praaayin wit the othrz.. nkaenda tu pale nyuma ya saf nimeketi chini even without wearing my nguo za kuswalia.. so pale watu wanasujood ndo ws caught red handed.. hapo ndo matron akaniona live nlikuwa si swali.. wit hair open sjielewa ati naswali huku miguu zaonekana.. lol t ws embarrassing. . Bt i explained to her mara the next day akansema kwa ms malika?
#Swabrin Timimy

It was the biology class. I smiled at my deskmate form 2 we were talking about something. Then all of a sudden she told me to share the Hehe i coudnt so she got angry and tod me to go out and sit facing the mosque alafu boys waenda mosque.Gosh was soo embarassed. Kuneel down kwa staffroom afu maboys wamwita bro wangu. story infika mpaka kwa mamangu. ?
#Khalila Ali

I was in class 6 in Arya Samaj when I jokingly told my male class mate ‘wewe ntakupiga sasa hivi’in a loud voice..Kumbe sir alikuwa hapo nje kwa dirisha akaniskia..He just came in akaniambia ‘haya mpige basi’..I felt so embarrassed. I was in class 5..During an English lesson,sir asked if anyone of us had been inside the parliament..And I being kimbelembele,I raised my hand..I was so sure I was right..So my classmate later asked me if I really had been there..And being so sure,I said ‘Yes,’and I described how it was..Little did I know that my description was that of an ‘elevator’ instead of a ‘parliament!’She told me ‘but that is a lift!’I felt so stupid
#Anonymous

Mine goes lyk ths,we were in the DH#dining hall waiting for food Sa chakula kinchelewa I decided to peep thru the hole ya mlango Sa ushapata ile design ya kuchungulia while leaning on the door Mara the door was opened n I almost samasaulted yani it was soo embarrasing cz the boys were there waiting to be served since tht day nlikoma kupiga chabo?
#Zeinab Said

Oh boy, most of my embarassing moments came when I was still a kid, I became more careful as I grew up. One particular moment I can’t possibly forget, i was about nine and me and my buddies were having a game of football in the local ground. Then this group of teenage girls passed by apparently to go play their own match elsewhere. So the game was momentarily disrupted and , well boys will be boys, we started whistling and cat-calling until they passed. Later that evening they came back, seemingly having lost their game, because they looked really intense. So when we repeated the earlier ritual, this time they weren’t so amused. We wounded their pride and we paid the price for it…they started chasing us throughout the neighbourhood intent on breaking our bones or sth of the sort. I ran for seemingly forever, this extremely athletic girl chasing me, and not in the context I would have enjoyed, and I ran while seriously fearing for my life. When I finally evaded her grasp, I found myself inside someone’s home garden, panting like a dog. The owner comes out asking me what’s going on and in between pants I tell him ‘eh kuna jambazi…ana panga…afukuza watu’

I learned my lesson well that day..
#Imran Abdallah

My embarasing moment wud be to stand in the buses early morning na wavllana mutasema mwaenda prison just imagine kisha ammi apige break mara mwagongana lol.
#Aisha Sunkar

When we were in class 7 it was sooooo hard. The unbearable year ile yenye maisha ikikushinda waeza drop uolewe. So it was Maths and we did the mid term exam ikawa twafaa kusubmit workings na answers separately na answer sheet ya ABCD separately. So me na ujuaji wangu wote nkapata 28% and Imran goes ahead and knocks us of by getting a 96/8%. So ever since, our class teacher akawa atupa assignment ya kufanya paper moja in 2 days like write down the question and workings alafu she collects the books. So this one time I didn’t finish answering…actually it was the whole class except this one girl Caroline. Our class teacher akatutoa kwa corridor during break time tukneel with hands up and mouths wide open…so kila mtu akitoka atuona tuko kwa corridor. This other teacher akawa atoka class six ya boys na biscuit na vile midomo zetu ziko wazi akanitia biscuit mdomoni. Well you can’t blame me for chewing it. All this time kumbe our class teacher atuchungulia kwa dirisha ya staffroom…nlirandwa hapo hapo mikono juu mdomo wazi. You can imagine the scene with boys all over. Shame on her for ripping of my self esteem and dignity in front of all those boys!!! Update….tulilalamika ikawa hakuna tena punishments except writing down lines kwa full scaps….
#Husna Lali

Which one to start.lol.. they are soo many.. Miss Ferouz busting saumu while she was making my hair in the Khamso room.. she made me walk to class carrying my brush and hair oil with my hair open.. Another one.. a form one boy asking me out a few days ago… like for real.. Am old enough to be your mama kiddo..
#Lalbiby Mansoor

That would probably be the day i had a crush on a certain girl in primary school & decided to write a love letter. of course the worst case scenario happened & within an hour the whole school knew word for word what i had written.
#Ahmed Shayo

This one time in high school, I got a 4 days suspension because I was “an accessory to a crime”…school crime people…not the government. My mum takes me back to school on the day I was supposed to be returning and we obviously had to face the then deputy principal-Ms.Feiruz alongside my class teacher Ms. Fatma. Ms. Fatma is all on my side favoring me and what not and then when we’re almost through she said ” You should stop being cheeky, you’re a senior now..” And she turns to my mum like ‘mwanzo huyu kukinyesha haji school alafu asema kwao hakupitiki kuna maji mengi. I told her to go tell her mother to build her a boat and she came back the next day saying “my mum said ‘seremala wetu ankufa'”. And that’s when the never ending string of words from mum begin. Ms.Feiruz is all like “we’ve had other Lali’s before…you’re not like any one of them”
Darn woman….really???
P.S….my mom did say to tell her our carpenter died…the truancy part…blame it on being tired and the excuse..I was being creative, excuse you
#Husna Lali

Once, I was going back to the dorm after asr prayers. I reached street 11 and there was this huge cow blocking the way. So I decided to give it a wide berth, but the thing just lowered its horns at me and advanced threateningly whenever I took a step towards it. So I’d then take a step back. The whole school was watching (and laughing of course), though the girls were more frightened by the prospect of me being skewered. Needless to say, it was really embarrassing.
#Arif, class of 2013

My embarrassing moments are just the random ones. Like thinking your parents are asleep so you go to the washroom without looking the door then suddenly your dad comes and he wants to open the door then quickly you hold the door so that it doesn’t open. Then afterwards he starts yelling at why I don’t lock the door. Or maybe a kiss scene comes in a movie we are all watching and the remote isn’t working so everyone just pretends staring at space while mum complains how English men have misled people.
#Anonymous

It was on a normal school day with no surprises of the day.Classes were ongoing as usual and we had just completed our first class.I stood infront of the class and strarted mimicing my history teacher as I was the only talented in it.No sooner had I started mimicing him when he entered the class.I was so shocked and didnt know what to do.I looked at him as he looked at me and I just felt embaraassed and looked away hehe…While I was still standing confused and shaken,the teacher ordered me out of class and explain my actions to the Principal.I knew it was the end of me and decided not to go out of class.From a far I saw the Principal coming towards our class and I decided to obey the teacher and vanished never to be seen.I showed myself after the lesson and I was summoned by class teacher.I stood there not knowing what to do and how to answer the questions directed to me. Nlikuwa heavily punished ofcourse; slashing about 10×5 square metres of grass plus 5 hot strokes of cane ……..Until now I still bear the guilt n embarassment in me imagin hehe….wat if i was the teacher…

Another; It was on lunch time and we were scrambling for food at the canteen.Buying food was difficult due to over congestion of students.At last I managed to get some chips and I was relieved.Before I could move away I heard a voice “kijana kuja hapa”.I recognised that voice and I looked behind. The teacher was referring to me and I realized I had not tacked my shirt.He took my chips and told me to follow him to the staffroom.On entering the staffroom I pleaded with him to forgive me but he just kept looking at me.Before I could even notice a slasher was already in my hands.To make matters worse he instructed a junior prefect to monitor me while slashing.I had no escape route than to oblige instead of a getting a suspension and till today I remember where did he take my food hehe….
#Gharama Ni Gharama

My desk mate and I were once caught by the then deputy principal laughing in class. She decided to take us with her to her office and it was obvious it wasn’t going to be a good day. As she walked in front of us to her office, a boy’s class was going to the library. And some of them knew us and definitely understood we were going for a punishment. They started laughing at us and it was really embarrassing.
#Hajra Taher

After years of “romeo n julieting ” one week after we finish school, the nosey librarian finds a romantic note from one Butterfly to her flower, the contents of the lettr, you don’t want to imagn? so she takes the lettr to Ms.Fatma (class teacher) and it becomes the topic of the day in females staff room, Ms. fatma calls Butterfly’s mum “mwambie Butterfly aangalie maisha yake, wanaume hawana mana… Blah blah blah…. Nevr been this embarrassed, My mum is out of words, little did she know behind this innocent face lied a DREAMER who all she saw was loooveee ?
The same week Butterfly is supposed to go to school to clear, imagn the looks on the female teachers??, too shy and embarrassed, butterfly holds her head high and goes to xul, on entering the staff room you could sense the “wambeas” showing each other “it’s her” and talking with their eyes, after the signatures she received a hell of a lecture from Ms.Fatma, luckily ms.feiruz (the then deputy principal) wasn’t around, rumor had it that she was eagerly waitng to meet Butterfly ???
#Butterfly

Now that you had your laugh, may you have an embarrassing day too ???

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RESULTS CELEBRATIONS; THE KHALIFAN WAY

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Video Courtesy: Hannan Barre

Special Dedication: Class of ‘011, 4Vee

Checking out this video, I smell nostalgia, can you feel it too? Khalifans’ style of celebrating has always been entertaining, thrilling, amusing yet still amazing! In fact the earlier years’ celebrations were even merrier. It used to be just a crazy scenario; girls shouting at the top of their voices, jumping up and down, singing all kind of songs including nursery rhymes like ‘ukuti ukuti wa mnazi wa mnazi’, ‘masomo bila mahewa haidandii bila mahewa’, ‘wako wapi mahasidi waione khalifa kiboko yao’ and some other song going like ‘santiago chile’ that I can no longer even remember, amongst other crazy songs being sang at the top of their voices 😀 But I must say; I definitely used to enjoy every moment of it especially being more of the observer. It always got me all emotional; finding my way through the crowd to hug the friends who performed.

It’s both hilarious and exciting even remembering all this now. Like in form one, our class was the one with windows directly facing the gate and the fish pond. As the candidates who had received their results were storming in the next class (which was form four V) were now all screams and dances. Being new, we didn’t understand what was going on until the other classes came out including the boys too. Mr Yunus (for the old Khalifans, you know him) was in class then and he was teaching us how to read the log books. Apparently we needed to be so attentive to understand that but we were all so curious; looking out of the windows and getting excited to join the chaotic celebrations. It was not his best day because with our agitation, we made him almost throw a chair at us. To make it worse, a form four girl fell into the huge dustbin right outside our class in the process of jumping. We were all laughing and it being a math class, of course we’d do anything to go out. And yes, we did succeed in that and poor, humble Mr Yunus had to leave the class 😀 And that is how we were introduced to the Khalifan jovial style of celebrating…yet amusingly, during all this chaos, the smart and bright students used to stay in class with the claim, ‘we don’t want to waste time’ lool. However when the noise used to escalate they’d come out and peep ‘what’s going on?’. But let’s get real, how does anyone read let alone write notes in such excitement? Not unless you are in form four…where that fear creeps in, ‘I could be out there screaming like the rest but what happens next year when I don’t perform and people will only remember me as a cheerleader and not a performer?’
Then comes the resolution, ‘Let me make use of this time now so that next year, they can also celebrate my performance too’ which is quite okay 😀 Other than that, I hope the bookworms have learnt that all work without play makes Jack a dull boy 😀

I remember another incident, a time like this during the results season, we were in our Chemistry class and our teacher was busy scribbling moles on the board when the noise started from other classes and we knew; it’s time for celebration! We always knew the noise symbolized yet another victory and as they say, ‘it’s party time!’ So whenever the noise escalated outside, we would all start making choruses of ‘siiirrrrr…let us gooo!’ If someone heard us, they would think our adrenaline was being poked. The rhythmic rise and fall of the noise always went on for a while; when the cheers escalated we would thump on the desks like crazy gorillas demanding for food and when it subsided we would keep quiet too. If you are from Sheikh Khalifa then you probably know Mr Ngao, and the glare he can give you. Whenever our voices went up, he would turn from the board and glare at us with his head lowered and his eyes raised, We would immediately shush up and continue scribbling our notes. When he realized we were getting out of control, he once again turned from the board, smiled in a way to show he has surrendered and finally, walked out of the class. It was times like these that you’d just stare and say ‘oh boy, people do have energy I tell you!’

The boys too wouldn’t be left behind. They would demand to go out of the gates while some would decide not to wait for the gates to be opened and just jump over. Meanwhile other boys would push their friends in the fish pond and apparently this is the only day you can do that and not be punished for it; the only day all hell breaks loose and students get away with it 😀 Everyone would scramble into the buses as each individual wanted to be part of the screaming and singing of ‘paka shume huyooo’ to Allidina and Aga Khan students on the roads lol.

Looking back at all these memories I really miss those days especially coming from a class that had quite extraordinary cheerleaders. And then even as I was watching all this happening I kept saying to myself, ‘why not?’ Our efforts and our duas, Our dedication and hard work does deserve all this joy and merry. Why not show the world how Muslim brains can work? How lady jilbabies are not any less intelligent to challenge the world? How being principled and disciplined is the only way to success? And this is what my high school has proved to the world since time immemorial; this is precisely why I am proud being a product of such an institution. And yes! yesterday, we did it once again! Alhamdulilah we had the best results ever from Sheikh Khalifa with:

A 27
A- 85
B+ 38
B 18
B- 8
C+ 2
C 1

Once again we have been able to outshine others alhamdulilah and all we can say to all our haters out there who are dying to know what our secret has always been, then here it is: ‘Allah is always with us,’ and that it is this firm faith in Allah that makes us at the top of the map always.

Congratulations to all those who got their results yesterday and hey, welcome to the adult world! May God easen it for you out there and get you to your goals in shaa Allah 🙂

Finally, I guess you came up with the same conclusion as mine: We are definitely the best, not only in results, in celebrating too!! 😀

#Proudly Khalifan 🙂

P.S. If you like my art then please vote for me at blogawards.co.ke/vote at creative writing category..and don’t forget to ‘submit’at the end of the page please ?
Thanks in advance ?

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Creative Non-Fiction

HEROISM VS NARCISSISM

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Photo Courtesy: Mc’Lopez

In a world where everyone believes they are a star, a legend and a hero, be rational enough to yourself. Accept yourself as you are; without exaggerating your own existence. Yes, you ARE special. Always remember that…but never forget that you are not any more special than anyone else. Don’t raise your nose and walk with arrogance, believing you are thee best; like no one is better than you.

Taking a hundred selfies, getting 200 or 1000 likes, having the most followers on snapchat and instagram does not define your self worth. Neither do these photos portray self love.

You only become a legend by creating a difference, by leaving footsteps in other people’s lives; by being yourself. Do not be a slave of society love and fame because if that’s what matters to you, do know your time of fame is quickly running out and someone else will soon be ‘thee new star’. For all that I’ve ever known, no star ever labeled themselves that name. They were recognized for their impact and their achievements and not by their show off. So don’t get ahead of yourself. If you believe you are a genius, then do know you are not the first one to exist nor will you be the last. The same thing with anything else that you are good at; be it sports, talent, academics…you name it!

Many people confuse egocentrism and narcissism as self love. And as much as the current world encourages people to love themselves, the whole idea of it shouldn’t get to your head. There lived so many legends who were not appreciated until their death while there lived people with immoral ideas yet they have been made our idols.

Times are quickly changing and most of us have been enchanted by what we see on social media; people sharing their naked photos, egoistic posts and underrating of everyone else in the name of self love. And sadly enough, we are made to believe that it is very okay to be narcissistic and to consider everyone below us. So whilst the villain also considers himself a hero in his own mind, be brave enough to balance your self esteem and self love without letting your ego take over your thoughts.

My idea of heroism has always been the same as what Ellen Goodman said: “I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference.”

Always remember that what you do; the smallest bits of kindness and humbleness that you give to the world is what makes you rather extra-ordinary. So even when the whole world thinks you are a nobody, do know that for someone out there, you are their biggest hope and their light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ll end this by this remarkable quote that very clearly draws the picture and summarizes this whole article in a few words:
“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” – Arthur Ashe

Keep leaving footsteps wherever you go!

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Creative Non-Fiction

TWO INCHES OF AN EGO

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Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

Standing tall
A bold soul
he makes the fake call
and talks the random talk.
Head held high
his nose pointing to the sky
his face sparks with sarcasm
and his laughter;
another word for enthusiasm.
He walks with a bounce
his hands in his pockets
and his hair combed in spikes
He waits for no man
speaks with great command
and he only, can make the demand.
Is he egocentric
or perhaps a bit too eccentric??
He smiles with a smirk
and his tone is always a remark.
He is just an intense mystery
making a profound history.
An obscure being
or perhaps,,
just perhaps…
all he’s got is
Two inches of an ego.

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