Four years ago, a friend texted me. She was frustrated. Angry. Disappointed. She was beyond crushed that Allah had not responded to her desperate dua, despite her efforts, despite going out of her way, despite begging Allah. She had done all that is in the books. She had fulfilled her daily prayers, she had woken for tahajjud every single night, she had opened her heart bear and cried to Allah to fulfill just this one thing for her, yet He didn’t. Why would Allah let her down in this way?

Before you judge her reaction harshly, here is a bit of context. My friend had had the worst childhood you’ve probably heard of in real life. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological and perhaps some would even name what she’d gone through to be plain torture. That in turn, made her, in many many way, wounded and traumatized. She didn’t know affection or love or warmth nor did she know how to give it. She had a distant, somewhat cold, relationship with herself, her family, her children and by extension, Allah.

That wasn’t all of it. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and she extremely struggled with her self esteem, anxiety and depression.

And amidst all this madness as she calls it, there was only one person who knew how to ground her; her grandmother. The only person she felt seen, loved, appreciated. The only single person in the whole world who made this life a little bit bearable. While her entire journal would be about the voices in her head, the burden of this life, the only single beautiful thing she ever wrote about was her grandmother. And I don’t say this cause she just told me, I read those pieces (with her permission of course). Despite her claim of inability to love, it was clear that she could give her whole life to her grandmother. The only apparent light in her seemingly dark, dark life.

But during covid, her grandmother died. That was the first devastation.  Then the following year, she lost a baby. It was too painful. Too heavy. Too crashing.

The next time she was pregnant, she did what she wouldn’t normally do. Talk to Allah more intimately. Begging him for this one thing, and this one thing alone. She wanted a baby boy this time round. So she religiously woke up every single night asking Allah for a boy. She dedicated all her time and energy, getting closer to Allah, trying to mend whatever was left of it, so her dua could be accepted.

After a series of very difficult pregnancies, this became the only normal pregnancy she’d ever experienced. Yet when she gave birth, it was a girl once again. She was angry. disappointed. Crashed. She felt little connection to her and would sometimes wish she never had her. That lack of motherly affection was close to none.

She didn’t really have much care for this baby. Not really. But alas, there is always wisdom in everything that Allah gives us or denies us.

Despite having other daughters, this baby was a special one. She was charming. She was affectionate. She was smart. Simply adorable. And Somehow, just somehow, slowly she was able to draw her mother out of the darkness she’d been accustomed to. She became her best friend, the coolness of her eyes, her whole heart.

Against all odds, this baby that she once detested her existence became her anchor. The one who grounds her now. My friend speaks of how her baby reminds her of her grandmother so much. From her features to how she projects so much love towards her. It is like Allah replaced her grandmother with this cute baby who now keeps her grounded. Oh how fondly she talks of this girl. It is like she was sent just to save her from the darkness she lives in.

And all this has got me thinking of that quote that says, “Every perceived rejection is a redirection for the best.” Perhaps my friend thought if she only got a boy, her heart will be at peace, one that she desperately seeks. Yet, sometimes Allah withholds what we want so that we can get what we actually need, what would actually be the best for us.

Despite all her rough background and turbulent present, Allah still brings her someone to anchor her at each stage of her life.  If that isn’t Allah’s mercy on play subhanallah.

This in many ways reflects what The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

“I am amazed by the believer. Verily, Allah does not decree anything for the believer except what is good for him.”* (Musnad Ahmad 12495)

It’s truly moving to think that just four years ago, my friend would have struggled to believe that this baby—someone she found it difficult to accept—would grow to be her closest companion and play a significant role in healing her heart. Yet, here we are, witnessing a beautiful transformation. This little one has undeniably become her greatest gift, truly the light of her life. With each hug and embrace, she finds a deep sense of peace, and her worries seem to fade away. It’s so heartwarming to see how their bond brings out the best in each other, filling her with immense gratitude for this unexpected joy that has entered her life.

Dear Reader,

I want to take a moment to remind you that amidst the myriad challenges life presents, whether they come in the form of difficult trials or moments of doubt regarding unanswered prayers, and even in the sadness of loss, there is a profound truth that remains: Allah has a uniquely tailored plan for you. This divine plan may not always align with your hopes and desires, but it might just be what your heart and soul truly need for growth and healing.

As you navigate through life’s uncertainties, hold on to this empowering thought: “But it may be that you dislike something that is actually good for you, and it may be that you love something that is ultimately bad for you. Allah knows, while you do not.”

Reflect on the times when you faced disappointments that later revealed hidden blessings. Consider how moments that once felt like setbacks transformed into opportunities for personal growth, deeper understanding, or new paths that led you to unexpected joy. Embrace the presence of Allah’s wisdom as it gently guides you, even when the way ahead seems unclear.

Trust in this process and let yourself be open to the unfolding of Allah’s will in your life. Embrace it fully, knowing that every twist and turn serves a purpose beyond your immediate understanding. There is beauty in surrendering to the journey that Allah has laid out for you.

Most importantly, remember: It is not a rejection. It is but a beautiful redirection.