Friendship – Page 2 – Strokes of My Pen

Guest Posts

Future LOVE? (Part 2)

By Abdulqadir Mahmoud January 27, 2017

By: Abdulqadir Mahmoud via http://selfcharge.blogspot.co.ke/

Photo Courtesy: Daily Mail

I used to believe in love.

Now, am not so sure.

After a tale like that, you’d want to hitch a home and get married ASAP. I know I did. So calm your nerves and take a few, breathe, you’re going to need it.

One word, Society.

This, simply put, is a realm where people and humans cross each other’s paths. This realm has some rules, which are said to have been conjured from the invisible Book of Norm. They are responsible for guarding and guiding these creatures with their powers of Thought Action to protect these paths and their takers. But something’s gone terribly wrong…And no one is aware of this to know it…

With the introduction of technology in to this realm, the creatures started showing rapid interaction progressions. What they could do in a weeks’ time, they did in an hour. It was amazing. It was impossible. But something happened after a while of this exposure. The creatures, the humans, they started evolving. As more records of interaction were continuously broken, more and more humans started to evolve gradually turning in to a new unknown species…turning into People.

It was not long before this new species of humans started reporting cases of memory loss, depleted senses, irregular tendencies and even personality erosion and finally, they stop reporting…just, Silence. When they were followed up, they just sat there, staring, with no expression on their faces, no emotion, their eyes empty with clouds of sadness…they had lost who they were…they were simply, gone…

The other Humans quickly started taking action to this new phenomenon. Research was launched to analyze this evolution, quarantines put up, drills taught to subdue this new infection. Panic, there was panic, worry, anxiety, depression…everything was going haywire because no matter what they did, it never stopped…just kept spreading, like light moving through the medium-less space, evolving the humans, one by one, into nothingness…into people.

The whole human species was now heading to its doom. Some decided to abandon ship and live in desert islands. Some just waited for the day they would turn into one of them, helplessly, as they watch their evolved versions walk around aimlessly, bumping into anyone and everyone they met within this realm, tangling their paths with theirs, spreading the contraction… Wait, their paths, that’s it! Alas, for they were looking in the wrong direction the whole time.

They finally figured out that what was spreading the contraction wasn’t the people, but their paths. Somehow this exposure to technology found a way to corrupt the rules in the invisible Book of Norm. And with a corrupt guiding and guarding system of interaction, the Thought Action powers of the rules corrupted every other interaction and thus, the contraction spread onto the humans, uninterrupted, without them even knowing.

They had done it. They had finally figured out what was happening. They had finally found out what was wrong. Everything will be okay, we made it, we’ll be fine, we can put an end to this.

Those were the last words they said. Nothing was ever heard from them thereafter. And now, no one knows where they went, where they are. The humans disappeared. They were gone.

The news spread of their success and the new species, People, they reacted. They were furious. Their faces were transformed into anger. Their mouths spoke words not heard of. Their bodies tensed in protection, in defense, guarding their attachment…they were now monsters. But their eyes, their eyes never changed… Empty. Sad. Almost as if they cried for help. Yes, they cried for help. They had no control of who they were anymore. They were helpless….Who is going to save them?

Where is everyone?

Is there anyone out there?

Am all alone…

Can you help me?

Anyone?

Please!

Stop staring and say something!

Please…

Am all alone…

Please…

Please…..

One word, Society.

This, simply put, is a realm where people and humans cross each other’s paths. This realm has some rules, which are said to have been conjured from the invisible Book of Norm. They are responsible for guarding and guiding these creatures with their powers of Thought Action to protect these paths and their takers. But something’s gone terribly wrong…And no one is aware of this to know it…

Stay tuned for part 3…

Guest Posts

Future LOVE? (Part 1)

By Abdulqadir Mahmoud January 26, 2017

via http://selfcharge.blogspot.co.ke

I used to believe in Love.

Now, am not so sure.

All I could think of when I heard the word was frankly something out of the Notebook, The fault in our stars or more relatable, the Vow. But what I didn’t consider was that Love doesn’t end there; with two partners and a life ahead of them; but also extends to partners we hold close to our hearts, those who we loosen up around and get awkward and downright mandazi (1) with them, those whom our love touch to care for and stand by, preferable over all others… you guessed it, Friends.

I’ve had my fair share of stories and experiences from others to amp the notion of ‘there is no such thing as “best friends”’ so for now am going to go with it. So that squad you’re willing to spend your quality time with, there is a connection that keeps you together and makes you prefer their company over anyone else’s. This connection exists regardless of there being any partner(s) involved or not; it’s a natural thing. There’s a clear line between a friend and an intimate munchkin pumpkin honey sweetie teddy bear cutie pie; you get my point. So you know who to go to when a little drama crosses your way. But you know, the thing about friendships, whether besties or accomplices, there is always the alpha of the group. The one whose needs comes first and whose likes are cherished to overrule that of the other(s). If you’ve never heard of this then ask yourself one question, would you go through all the trouble your friend(s) has gone through, favors done for you all to put a smile on their face?

If you don’t feel any entitlement to do all of them because hey, it was from their own free will, right? Yeah, know that you are the Alpha of that squad. If you’d do it all over again cause, come on, this is my squad you’re talking about here, well, am letting you know that your friend(s)’ amusement supercharges you to bend backwards and do things not less than amazing to achieve it. Let me rephrase, you’ll always be second priority. I know, unbelievable. But come to think about it….not really. I mean, do you even remember what you’d like to eat when you are in a restaurant, or is it cause your friend(s) also liked it at one point?
Please, don’t let me speak for you. Though am sure you know who you are between the two by now. As long as your friend(s) help(s) you forget about your struggles and keep(s) you smiling, it’s all good…right? #Food_for_thought

Hey, it’s okay. It’s simply how us humans were made. It’s totally normal for us to “serve” anyone we deem more awesome than ourselves, basic human psychology. No sweat. Except, the Prophet aleyhi swalaatu wa salaam replied as such when he was asked who his best friend is, and he said, ‘Aisha’ (ra), who was her wife, and after being asked who followed, he added, ‘ Her father’, who was Abubakar (ra), referring him also from his wife. Now this is no special answer in the norm. But what’s fascinating about this reply is that Abubakar (ra), was the man who he travelled with after leaving his home town to another one, where they faced unlimited dangers and he even got stung by a scorpion for him. He was the man that accepted his message without a single ounce of hesitation when everyone around him scorned it. He was the man that believed the Prophet’s journey to the heavens and back in one night with no need of any proof. Scratch that, Abubakar (ra) was a very good friend of the prophet aleyhi salaam even before he became a prophet, and let’s not get into the number of battles he fought beside the prophet, upon him be peace. So what’s up? I mean, Bro, after all that?

What is up, is that even though their friendship was strong, Abubakar (ra) only met with him when they met, you know, see you when you see me. But his wife Aisha (ra), oh she met with him all the other times; not it be at his highest or lowest, happiest or saddest, be or not be. I mean she was inside his life just as deeply as he was in hers. See, the thing about marriage is that it takes you from the comforts of your house and privacy and puts you smack in the middle of someone else’s. Your personal space is not personal anymore, your schedule isn’t yours anymore, you have to worry about more than just you; cause you were just fine with how you were….In totality, you give up your previous life for this strange new one, with someone strange, all cooped up in a strange new space…Duude…But with time, with time a friendship brews. You start knowing each other, understanding, adapting, enduring…the displeasure, dislikes, repulsion of your opposite views slowly disintegrates as you battle life on each other’s side, standing by one another and being there for each other…It’s you Vs. the world, and alas, a bond more rigid than Love itself and its totality… a bond forged from the roots of Endurance, the stem of Friendship and the branches of Love… a bond soo unique the most richest of languages gave it its own name, Al Mawaddah(2), unbreakable…Subhanallah, praise be to the Most High.

Now you understand the Prophet aleyhi salaam’s answer, upon him be peace…Now you understand why he chose his wife over his life-long friend…Now you understand why she was his best friend…

Fascinated much?

This is the true meaning of friendship. Knowing each other to the core and having to deal, even if you don’t want to. And for this reason, is why, in this world of now, any other friendship will never be as equal sided, just like how 1400 years ago, a friendship that meant dying for one another could not match that of a wife, and her husband.

That bond, that is why I believed in love. I cannot still comprehend the intensity of the connection.

So, why halter in its belief now? I mean, what happened?

Stay tuned for Part 2 to find out…

Key
1. Used to mean crazy stuff
2. Affection, love, friendliness
3. (ra) : May Allah be pleased with him/her

Creative Non-Fiction

REALITY BEHIND THE FRIEND ZONES

By Lubnah Abdulhalim September 17, 2016

One of the craziest thing in 21st Century are the friend zone memes. They are hilarious, heart-felt by many people and just one other way to make the sad situation of rejection sound funny. Well the memes afterwards escalated. It came to bro zone/sis zone (which is considered worse than friend zone) life zone, neighbour zone, mzee wa mtaa zone (the guy who is always approached by his female friend to solve her couple problems), father zone etc etc. You know at one moment we all did that ‘moment of silence’ thingy for all the bros in the friend zone…and behind most of the ‘hahaha’ and ‘HA HA HA’ in the comment section of friend zone memes there is a lot of pain hidden.

So recently there has been too much excitement on the net of the newly found logo for friend zone (which is the most common zone. I guess the root zone?). And it’s so hilarious how people actually believe that such logos are necessary?

As much as I find the memes to be hilarious, I don’t believe in the literal existence of these zones. I don’t believe in a corner where a nice guy is shoved in simply because he is too much a friend. Let’s be realistic, open minded and honest here. We all have what we look for in a partner or what makes a potential spouse. So…

No such thing as friend zone because I believe in personal preferences, choices, fate, priorities and decisions and not the life zones we justify with. You could be yearning for a partner with sparkling beauty yet she could be searching for a man with brains like Einstein? You could be after a man with an ambition while he is after a woman with twice his ambition? You could be after a lady with principles yet she is after a man with religion? Someone is checking his bank balance and someone else is after his humility. It all depends on personal emotions and interests, otherwise, everyone out there can be a potential partner. It’s nothing to do with anyone being in any zone. It’s all a matter of if someone has an interest in you or not. It is all a matter of compatibility and bonding on another level. It is about having someone to spend your entire life with. And sometimes, that lady or guy in the friend zone or bro zone or whatever wouldn’t be the best choice. IT IS THAT SIMPLE.

You could be the sweetest peach as they say, the nicest guy but maybe you just don’t have the one thing she has prioritized in a partner. There is no way around it. And most of the times people only try to be nice and not hurt anyone’s ego by telling them ‘You are my good friend’ or whatever people say. They just don’t want you to feel like something is wrong with you or you are not worth them; it’s all about what their choices are and sometimes it is as much difficult for them too to make such decisions.

It is okay to console yourself with the memes, to embrace your pain and to laugh about it because you are not alone. But no it’s not okay to use it as a justification of why someone was rejected. See that guy who made it out of the bro zone? The silly girl finally realized his worth and perhaps understood that what is missing in him; he’s got something better. Not just because he squeezed himself out of the tight corner called bro zone. It is because she has now made her choice and made him a priority.

One other thing that people never consider is that however CLOSE you are to another person, when it comes to the real deal of making someone your life time partner, things change. High-peaked emotions are included here. The way a guy is with his girl best friend is not exactly the same way he would be if the same girl became his partner. This is because we now have expectations, deeper attachment, love associated with every action. So yeah it IS different…and sometimes, people are better off as they are, where they are; in those hypothetical zones.

If you want to deal with this kind of rejection then you have to believe in the choices others make even if they are not the best for you. You have to believe in fate; in accepting that not everything is going to go as you wish. That sometimes the person you see the best for you is actually not the best? That maybe that person is just not ready for such commitment or they already have a lot on their plate and cannot be emotionally available? That everything happens for are a reason. That perhaps God is saving you a whole lot of pain that would come from being with that person. Well it is difficult no doubt but if you want to get over this, you better find a better reason to justify your rejection rather than the zones. Because all these zones? They don’t exist…

Guest Posts

THE CIRCLE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim August 4, 2016

Poem by: Ahmed Shayo

I have a circle.

A small circle.

And as i grow, it diminishes more & more,,

Devoured by the wounds that tattoo eerie sketches of a forgotten past.

The circle ages like the sons of Adam,

And like mortal men

It writhes and shivers and curls up in a knot

As the heart grows colder.

.

I have a circle,

A sort of small circle.

Its diameter smiles in the warm breeze of joy,

Parting the seals of its lips,

And laughs at the threats of the sun setting down,

Knowing well that the moon will invade its sleep

And steal its light,

And wear it like a ski-mask in the shadowy blizzard of night.

And once in a while,

It swells a little larger.

.

I have a circle.

Not a big one,

But big enough to let love inside.

And I let it grow from the little seedlings that hide in the cover of soil & rock,

Into a tree that bears fruits and shelters dwellers of the earth below

And emperors of the sky above.

And in an instant,

I outgrow my small circle

And I find my self at the edge of the circumference,

On a precipice that threatens to exile me from the touch of mortal bliss.

.

I have a circle.

And its purpose is to keep me inside it,

To lock me out from the thorns of despair,

Hopelessness,

Sorrow,

And the pale faces of pain that haunt the lives of men even after death.

I have a small circle,

But the things i want suffocate the things i have

And more than once

My desires wrung the thorned rope round my neck,

Squeezing air out my lungs,

Tightening the circle into the device of my demise,

And once after a long while,

I have no circle.

& all that is left is the familiar sensation

Of being alone

Creative Non-Fiction

THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL

By Lubnah Abdulhalim September 7, 2015

THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

I remember when I was thirteen years old, my closest friend decided to replace me as her best friend with another girl. I was apparently so hurt at that and wrote her a two paged letter filled with so much bitterness and was listing down all the sacrifices I did for her sake and the way she didn’t appreciate. As i was writing the letter, my mother appeared and saw it. she read it through and gasped with astonishment, ‘you carry all this load in your heart?!’ and i cant forget how much she scolded me for concentrating on friendship that much instead of my studies as i was a candidate by then. All in all, my point is not at how my mother scolded me or what happened after that. Many years later now, I look back at that situation and wish that the only betrayal that could ever exist was like that one whereby an innocent thirteen year old is filled with bitterness because her best friend replaced her.

As someone once said, ‘every man faces seven enemies in his lifetime; sickness, hunger, betrayal, envy, greed, old age and finally death.

As I grew up, I realized how naïve I was and that the world is actually like a battle field. so many wolves ready to attack you just the moment you trip. The saddest thing about betrayal though is that it never comes from your enemies, it comes from the people you loved the most.

As John Le Carre said ‘love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love.’ No one could ever dispute this fact that betrayal only happens when you love, because you trusted in the first place. Of course you wouldn’t trust your enemy right? therefore, betrayal never happens with your enemies, it only happens with your loved ones.

We live in a world where you can’t really trust anyone completely. It takes years to build trust and yet, just a few seconds to break it. We live in a world whereby you can’t even trust to leave your wife alone for some few hours, in the fear that another man, probably could be even your neighbour, takes over your place just the moment you leave.

Betrayal has led to so much pain. They say time heals all wounds but they forget that the scar will forever be there. People may forgive but will never forget the deep pain they felt and of course, nothing will ever be the same again.

Sometimes, a mother betrays her child. One would wonder how? but haven’t we seen all those many children appearing on our televisions, with deep cuts, burns, mutilated body parts just because of a small mistake they did? Yes, she betrayed her child. He trusted her, he knew she would never want any harm for him, he knew she would protect her and what did she do instead? she was the one holding the knife, the one holding the flame ready to burn, the one holding a panga ready to chop…the one who put the poison in his food. Yes, that is betrayal. When a father rapes his own daughter and maybe, she even gets pregnant and the girl lives the rest of her life being haunted. Life will never be the same again for her.

Betrayal is when we all put our trust and hope in that leader. As we die with hunger and thirst, we still had the energy to stand up and have faith that change will come with this leader. It is that kind of hope that never dies and we all vote for him, thinking we would never be hungry and thirsty again. But alas! greed is all he ever had.

Betrayal is when you love someone so deeply and just suddenly, they shatter all your dreams into small irreplaceable pieces of glass. Even picking up the pieces will cut you once again so you let them right there with the undying hope that they would realize what damage they caused and maybe…just maybe come back.

Betrayal doesn’t only break your heart, but also darkens your soul. You will never forget the pain and many have changed due to that kind of pain.

Trust is like a mirror, once broken, you may try to repair it but no matter what you will always still see the cracks. So be very careful on whom you trust and value the people who trust you and keep up to their expectations. Don’t disappoint them for giving you the most valuable thing they can ever offer; TRUST!

You are not a fool that you trusted, that you loved, that you had faith…they are the fools for lying to someone who trusted them. So forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you!

Creative Non-Fiction

MY SMALL CUBICLE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim January 1, 2015

MY SMALL CUBICLE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

My life has always been like a small cubicle office with different frequent visits from different people. My mum always saw me having new visitors at home or laughing on a phone call from someone new and she’d always ask ‘who is it this time? A friend from school?’ And my answer was mostly a no because I rarely had friends but I had a friend of my friend, the neighbour to my friend, the classmate of my friend, the cousin to my friend, my sister’s friend etc etc

My mum came to barely remember any names or even faces because people quickly came into my small cubicle and as quickly, exited it. A name would be familiar for some days and just as sudden as the name appeared into my life, it faded away as soon as one had had their loved ones back, had new friends, had had enough of my entertainment..had stopped feeling lonely..had gotten enough strength to stand on their feet once again. And another would appear. So she’d ask ‘where do you come up with new friends out of nowhere, just all of a sudden? ‘

‘Destiny…’ I’d mumble.

I got used to the idea that everything is temporary. I am temporary; I was meant to be temporary..and I’d always wondered when I’d meet my permanent people?

Nonetheless I’ve learnt to enjoy these short visits to my small cubicle; the little laughters, the little secrets, the little jokes, the thrilling stories, shared experiences..I had served my purpose in their lives by giving them what they needed and they had served in mine; by giving me the little joy that I’ll always cherish. It’s called compromise.

Creative Non-Fiction

THE MEMOIRS OF SCHOOL LIFE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim August 5, 2014

Photo Courtesy: Unknown

School life is one of the most interesting phases that we go through. It is where we grow up, learn to be independent, become who we are as adults, form our personalities, create friendships that could last forever and the memories that you would live to tell to your children. Living through school life has proved to be quite tough especially with the 8-4-4 system where a class three child carries a bag that can pull them down due to the heavy weight of the books they have to carry. Many have dropped out, some repeated classes; some struggled through while others just had their tasty cup of tea of school life. However much you may have hated school you must admit there are memories of school worth keeping.

In every class we don’t miss the early bird. The one who is always the first to come to school and however early you try to wake up you would still find him/her there. This fellow isn’t really interested in school as such but what actually brings him/her early to school is the homework that he hasn’t done. He would struggle with the homework just until the arrival of the second person in class. He would quickly borrow the book and do copy pasting without even bothering to look how correct the answers are.

Then of course, there is always that late comer who is always late. Come rain, come sunshine he/she would still come after the class started. A child like this one, you would expect that they have exhausted all the sleep they needed but funny enough, he/she is still the one to dose in class. Most of the times, he is untidy and the homework is not done. Just one word to describe them; lazy!

Another interesting character is that intelligent child who would always perform highly in the exams but whenever you go seek help from them, they would always have an excuse not to help. He/she is clearly selfish with the knowledge they have and they would always prefer to study alone. During the exams seasons, you would always hear them complain of having not read ANYTHING and they would whine and panic so much to the extent of making you panic too. Funny though, when the results are out the difference between your result and theirs is incomparable. They could be topping all subjects while you are still playing safe at the average marks.

One of the characters that rarely miss out in every class is the one providing us with classic comedy; the one who doesn’t perform so well but still has all the stories to crack you up in all the lessons. Sometimes it isn’t even the right time to crack up a joke but they would still do it, however much inappropriate it may seem. They are always the class favourite. They create a lot of mischief and give the teacher’s a very hard time. Their performance may vary for there are those who were naughty but still performed excellently while others still performed awfully in their examinations.

I personally would never forget the ones that would give us a free drama to watch when it was their time to be punished by the teacher. The circus they do is just hilarious. They would scream even before the stick touches their skin and they would twist and turn round and round like a monkey in a cage. By the time they get the first stroke, almost five minutes have been wasted. This sometimes would just make the class teacher give up and let him/her go.

Another character that we all had to hate is the class teacher’s right hand side man. The one who would be very quick in reporting every small or tiny mistake we did which included you being a noisemaker just because you asked for a rubber from the next desk. They always yearned for the teacher’s praise and love and worked very hard to attain it by crucifying others and sometimes they weren’t even the class prefect or monitor.

The list could go on and on from the quiet and timid ones, to the bookworms, to the hardworking ones, to the ones who had two faces; the very noble one towards the teachers while they were in fact silent killers, to the ones who jut sat back and enjoyed all the dramas created by these different personalities, to the noisemakers whom without, the class would just seem abnormal, to the very aggressive ones, to the attention seekers etcetera etcetera. Without forgetting the kind of teachers we had varying from the very boring ones, to the very harsh ones, to the popular and likeable ones, to the story tellers that would spend half the lesson just narrating, to the lazy ones who would even drag their words, to the ones that were just a pain in the neck being very sarcastic, pessimistic and like a sadist in everything and to the teachers that dedicated all their time and even their free time to ensure the children have all they need. We all know in which category we fall in the above and though we may have had a tough time through but you will all agree with me, there is a time you just sit back and remember all these and laugh alone. Maybe it was worth it after all, for without all these experiences we wouldn’t be who we are today.