Loneliness – Strokes of My Pen

Guest Posts

THE AWAITED ONE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim March 3, 2017

By: Farwa Shariff

At first
Life was amazing
No hurts
Just hugs and kisses
No regrets
Home full of blessings

He wakes up with a smile
Kisses her on the forehead
And says goodbye as he goes to job
So happy she was
So blessed she was
To have
A loving one

The whole day she spends
Looking at the album
She smiles on seeing the friends
Who attended her wedding
She keeps on looking
And suddenly
Tears start falling
Not because she is hurt
Not because she is mad
On looking at that
She is elated
Contented
Feeling so blessed
To have
A loving one

In the evening she waits
So curiously
At the gate
And suddenly
The awaited one
The lovely man
Arrives
Overjoyed she is
To have
A loving one

Years passed
More happiness filled their hearts
The expected happened
It is a baby boy
It is a baby girl
Yes!
They were blessed with
A daughter and a son
Expected was another little one
Three months old
She felt she owned
A more precious thing than gold
So exultant she felt
To have
A loving one

One bright day
He went away
On an extremely long journey
Left home no money
And there she was
The optimist one
Waiting for her man
She believed
She was blessed
To have
A loving one

With the little one
Daughter on the left
On the right is the son
Eagerly waiting
At the gate
For
The loving one

People passed
Cars rushed
Yet!
No appearance
No news
For the loving one

Time passed
Really fast
Children grew into
Economists
Managers
Directors of big hotels
With the help of no one
But only
The optimist
Courageous
Strongest woman of all

The awaited one
Never showed up
Yet!
Happiness was their title
Success their body
And
Forgiveness their conclusion.

You can read more of her work at: https://farwashariff.wordpress.comhttps://farwashariff.wordpress.com

Guest Posts

Future LOVE? (Part 3)

By Abdulqadir Mahmoud January 28, 2017

By: Abdulqadir Mahmoud via http://selfcharge.blogspot.co.ke/

Photo Courtesy: Pexels

I used to believe in love.

Now, am not so sure.

Recording…

“It’s been uumm…it’s been a while since I talked to anyone…even a longer while since everyone disappeared…The last person I remember talking to was uuh, was a traveler. He was part of a small group I stumbled upon. He had to leave. The others followed soon after. Something about surviving this wave. Kinda like what am trying to do right now, with all this, in all this. And frankly I don’t know if am doing a good enough job, you know… It’s been so long ever since; I’ve lost track of time. It’s been so long I think I might be losing it, I mean, what’s real, anymore? I can barely tell what’s right from wrong, whether to feel or numb…I don’t know when I am myself anymore, like falling in and out of consciousness but with life, and what happens in it. Everything’s a blur now. Time is but a word, a reason, an excuse for me to say day, night, because none of them make sense to me now; a mere black or white as life passes by, numb, soundless. And every day I watch myself slowly fade, some part of me, of who I am, disintegrating like the floating dust as it mingles with the air, dispersing, disappearing, leaving me emptier with every dawn of day. Maybe it wants to help. Maybe it has hope of bringing them back. Maybe, just maybe, this part of me believes…Maybe. I do not know, of it, of me, I do not know.

We used to be so close my friends and I, hanging out, having fun, forgetting the world in those moments as we made our own, and just for those split precious moments, we lived in it…I remember we used to have these inside jokes that whenever we were in class, or a room and we would hear them, we’d look for each other among the crowds and just giggle or laugh when our eyes met, and we would savor that moment because it was just us who knew what they meant, in our little small world…It was perfect, until that day when the advert aired.

I wasn’t interested at first. It was like one of those promos you’d see on billboards and newspapers when going back home or surfing the analogue way (1). Promos like those never stuck around for long. They’d usually be replaced by some other advert for towels and children all in one picture, probably for a super market promo. But this one, this one never left. Its image grew on us as time went by. We’d even joke around with its catch phrase. ‘Let’s Change together’, it said. Within no time it was everywhere. Kids, teenagers, adults, everyone wanted one. It became the new toy, the new Black, the smart choice….They said it had the ability to transform the world…yeah, for once the adverts actually were true to their word. But no one knew how much…

We all had heard about how my neighbor’s aunt used this technology to do incredible things, how she’d make an interaction in a split second that normally would take days or even weeks to make. It was unbelievable. It was amazing. It was impossible, she said. And now it was our turn to rock the new Black. With a few mummers, requests and a lot of aunties, we finally got ours. Everyone was excited for the other. We had all these new techs in our hands, I mean, we were living the dream. The cool kids, you now. It was awesome; the attention, the wonder in others, the super workload lifting, we could use it to do almost everything, all we had to do was a few taps and swipes of the finger and, voila…we were transforming the world,our world…Then it all begun….

I couldn’t figure why I felt lost, at first. Why my life felt like an act, a pretense, a routine; planned and laid out for me to follow. I couldn’t understand what was it I liked in humor, in heart, in taste, in others. I couldn’t remember what deserved to be felt, be understood, what was okay or absurd, what needed my attention and what could wait. I had no idea of how to feel anymore, how to judge, when to judge, who to judge, should I be judged? I could feel myself scare. I could feel the confusion, the anger, the rage, the breath living my lungs without flowing back in. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t understand. My friends seemed fine. They were fine. Why wasn’t I? What was happening to me? Why am I feeling all this…this darkness…this rage? Why was I in so much pain? Bleeding….weeping….

Then I saw.

Everyone was leaving. Up and leaving. Leaving everything behind. Leaving their families behind. Just like that. They told me to come with them. They told me People were coming. They told me the smart people, the uh, the scientists had abandoned them. They told me Humans were dying. Dying a cold death in Life. Dying to be reborn into People, into a specie of no depth, of no emotion, no lives; into a specie of pretense, of confusion, of rage; into a specie of loneliness…and their Humanity, their Humanity dies with them. They told me to run, for the technology the scientists granted upon us has unleashed a pandemic so deadly it corrupted their Norm, our Norm, and we Humans are paying for it, paying for it with our lives, our selves, our souls…we Humans are paying for it with our essence…with our Humanity…and being turned into monsters, into slaves of a corrupted Norm, a whole book of it as we slowly, but surely, sell our souls to it so my boy, Run! Run and save yourself! Because we all know, there is nothing anyone of us, can do for the other. Run!

You can imagine how shocked I was. I didn’t believe them because no, my friends were alright. No, my friends seemed fine so it can’t be true…I screamed in their faces, begged for their attention, tried for their care; but they were gone. It was too late for them…I was too late for them…and now,I was alone…now I am alone…And you know what is the most painful thing of all? Watching them fade away whilst their eyes cry for help, until they don’t.

One might think this place am in is a ghost town. Well it’s not. It’s full of People who follow what they are told to be right, believe what they are told to be true. It is filled with People who laugh by cue, live by routine; a planned schedule of day and night. This place is filled with People who call life by what they are given and like in it what they are told is likeable, hate what they are told to, no choices, no questions. This is indeed a ghost town; one bereaved of Humans, and filled with People. This is why I am here right now, talking to this screen. Hoping. Hoping that this will reach someone; reach anyone…Hoping that maybe they aren’t too far gone…Hoping that their eyes open their minds and free their bodies…hoping….hoping….

And now, here I am. Alone. Fading away, like them. Sometimes I wish I had their fate. Not ideal really, I know, but still free from all this, the pain, the sorrow, the helplessness…the loneliness…I don’t think I’ll last for long after this anyways, because, without any other Human around, I’m slowly giving up hope…giving in to the silence. There was a time I used to believe in friendship, in the unbreakable bond; in people…Before all this, I used to believe in Love.

Now, am not so sure….”

STOP.

Key

1. Reading the Newspapers.

Guest Posts

Future LOVE? (Part 2)

By Abdulqadir Mahmoud January 27, 2017

By: Abdulqadir Mahmoud via http://selfcharge.blogspot.co.ke/

Photo Courtesy: Daily Mail

I used to believe in love.

Now, am not so sure.

After a tale like that, you’d want to hitch a home and get married ASAP. I know I did. So calm your nerves and take a few, breathe, you’re going to need it.

One word, Society.

This, simply put, is a realm where people and humans cross each other’s paths. This realm has some rules, which are said to have been conjured from the invisible Book of Norm. They are responsible for guarding and guiding these creatures with their powers of Thought Action to protect these paths and their takers. But something’s gone terribly wrong…And no one is aware of this to know it…

With the introduction of technology in to this realm, the creatures started showing rapid interaction progressions. What they could do in a weeks’ time, they did in an hour. It was amazing. It was impossible. But something happened after a while of this exposure. The creatures, the humans, they started evolving. As more records of interaction were continuously broken, more and more humans started to evolve gradually turning in to a new unknown species…turning into People.

It was not long before this new species of humans started reporting cases of memory loss, depleted senses, irregular tendencies and even personality erosion and finally, they stop reporting…just, Silence. When they were followed up, they just sat there, staring, with no expression on their faces, no emotion, their eyes empty with clouds of sadness…they had lost who they were…they were simply, gone…

The other Humans quickly started taking action to this new phenomenon. Research was launched to analyze this evolution, quarantines put up, drills taught to subdue this new infection. Panic, there was panic, worry, anxiety, depression…everything was going haywire because no matter what they did, it never stopped…just kept spreading, like light moving through the medium-less space, evolving the humans, one by one, into nothingness…into people.

The whole human species was now heading to its doom. Some decided to abandon ship and live in desert islands. Some just waited for the day they would turn into one of them, helplessly, as they watch their evolved versions walk around aimlessly, bumping into anyone and everyone they met within this realm, tangling their paths with theirs, spreading the contraction… Wait, their paths, that’s it! Alas, for they were looking in the wrong direction the whole time.

They finally figured out that what was spreading the contraction wasn’t the people, but their paths. Somehow this exposure to technology found a way to corrupt the rules in the invisible Book of Norm. And with a corrupt guiding and guarding system of interaction, the Thought Action powers of the rules corrupted every other interaction and thus, the contraction spread onto the humans, uninterrupted, without them even knowing.

They had done it. They had finally figured out what was happening. They had finally found out what was wrong. Everything will be okay, we made it, we’ll be fine, we can put an end to this.

Those were the last words they said. Nothing was ever heard from them thereafter. And now, no one knows where they went, where they are. The humans disappeared. They were gone.

The news spread of their success and the new species, People, they reacted. They were furious. Their faces were transformed into anger. Their mouths spoke words not heard of. Their bodies tensed in protection, in defense, guarding their attachment…they were now monsters. But their eyes, their eyes never changed… Empty. Sad. Almost as if they cried for help. Yes, they cried for help. They had no control of who they were anymore. They were helpless….Who is going to save them?

Where is everyone?

Is there anyone out there?

Am all alone…

Can you help me?

Anyone?

Please!

Stop staring and say something!

Please…

Am all alone…

Please…

Please…..

One word, Society.

This, simply put, is a realm where people and humans cross each other’s paths. This realm has some rules, which are said to have been conjured from the invisible Book of Norm. They are responsible for guarding and guiding these creatures with their powers of Thought Action to protect these paths and their takers. But something’s gone terribly wrong…And no one is aware of this to know it…

Stay tuned for part 3…

Inspiration

A LETTER TO THE ONE FEELING LOW

By Lubnah Abdulhalim July 19, 2016

Photo Courtesy: https://www.pinterest.com/

Hey Assalam aleykum ?

If not Muslim, hey buddy!☺

It may be one of those rough times in your life. Perhaps you are undergoing a financial collapse, a family conflict, a heart break, bad marriage, betrayal, identity crisis, quarter life crisis, mid-life crisis…you name it. Perhaps you are just feeling lost and confused. Perhaps you don’t exactly understand why you came to this world. Perhaps you don’t feel your need existing in this world. Perhaps you think this pain is too much to bear. Perhaps you wish you could disappear. Perhaps you can’t stay hungry anymore. Perhaps you have no strength to work one more day. Perhaps you are undergoing writer’s block. Perhaps things are just not working out. Perhaps you feel the very urgent need to explode. You feel low, stressed and depressed. But perhaps…all this is not as bad as it may seem.

One thing for sure; you are going to over-come this and it is going to remain as a memory. Perhaps a bad memory but it will all be in the past and what’s in the past no longer defines us.

Be rest assured, there is nothing abnormal in the kind of pain we live in. Everyone is experiencing some kind of battle, maybe not at the same time as you do but they surely do. Don’t see happy faces full of smiles, walking on the shores of the beach and going for shopping sprees and you start thinking ‘why the hell is my life like this? And not like that?’ The only difference comes in how we deal with that pain. You are the one to choose whether you are going to let go of what is eating you up, whether you will forgive others and yourself and whether you will stand up after that terrible fall.

Sometimes too many things collapse at the same time especially when you are in your 20’s. This is the time when just almost everything seems to be falling on your head. Identity crisis; you don’t even know what you want in your life, betrayals; you start seeing the claws of the dearest people to you, University’s chaotic life, financial problems, Career search that never ends, transition into marriage life etc etc. This could be like “hello! Welcome to the real world” call. You start seeing truths you’d never want to know but you are forced to stare into that horrible reality for some time and maybe for a longer time than you expected. But hey! Don’t despair.

I am just going to tell you 3 things that I hope you can take note of.

1.Dear, you are not alone. You are definitely not alone in this. Perhaps you consider yourself such an awful person or you feel so lonely and don’t expect anyone to even cry if you died this moment. Maybe you think that you are better off six feet under with only soil to hug you. Do know this; people do love you. It may be one person, three, ten or even a dozen it doesn’t matter the number. What matters is that this person or these people can cross oceans for your sake. However many your flaws may be, these people truly and sincerely care for you. Some even look up to you, they probably even consider you their mentor and role model while you are just not aware of it. Do know that to someone out there, you are really needed in this life. Your existence is crucial for them so don’t let the sadness sweep you off your feet forever. Don’t disappoint them by letting yourself sink in that wavy ocean. They need you to stand up NOW. You are Needed.

2.You are allowed to feel the pain. It is just a phase of life. It is okay to experience it and embrace it. Just don’t allow yourself to stay too long in the darkness. Cry, mourn, talk it out if you need to but don’t let it take over your life. Just take enough time to grieve but not too long to make sadness and loneliness a part of you. It is all about learning how to stand up after that great fall. You can do it ?

3.I’d like to give you an example here. Let’s say you admire some girl out there (or the vice versa) and you really want her/him to talk to you. You want the attention. So what do you do? You create a problem for them so that they can come to ask for help from you. If you know that she can’t fix a puncture you intentionally prick her car tires so that she may ask for your help. You know that she may ask for help from her other mates but sometimes no one can help except you. So she will come, eventually; sooner or later. Patience here is crucial. When this problem is over you make her computer crash. And then maybe put a virus in her flash disk. It could go on and on. It depends on how much you love that person. The more you love them the more you want them to talk to you and thus, the more difficult situations you create for them. It doesn’t mean you want to harm them does it? It just means you love them so much that you would want them to know how much you are crucial in their lives. This is the same thing with God. Well not exactly but almost. God doesn’t need your attention in fact, you need His! But when He loves one of His creations, He keeps testing them again and again. He knows you will go to your mother for assistance or your best friend or your neighbour but eventually you realize that no one can help you except Him. Now look at all these problems you are whining about. See how God loves you? See how much He wants you to talk to Him? See how much He wants you to seek help from Him? For He is more than ready to help you! He is just waiting for you to call unto Him. What are you waiting for buddy?!

With that said, please rub off those tears. Please be patient. Please have faith in God. Please believe in yourself. Do your best and let destiny take you places. Do not under-value yourself. Be happy and grateful with the good things in your life. Do not worry too much over what’s going to happen next. Let the flow flow! Keep talking to Him and you’d be amazed what great plans He has for you. Better things coming buddy! In shaa Allah. Now don’t let that smile fade from your face. You just don’t know how pretty it makes you look! ?

Inspiration

STOP FEELING LONELY AND START BEING ALONE

By Lubnah Abdulhalim April 29, 2016

Photo Courtesy: https://afremov.com/

Loneliness usually creeps in at the most unexpected times like the surprise visitor who knocks at your door just as you switch off your lights to sleep. It could have a knock-knock on your little heart at the moment you are in the middle of a crowd as people cling their glasses with cheer and laughter or when you are in the arms of your spouse or even when you are eating with your friends as they tell jokes and crack up. You feel so far yet so near. You feel disconnected from the people around you. Sometimes it could be due to sudden changes in the closest people to us; how you and your spouse no longer share your deepest secrets, how your friends no longer remember your birthday, how your loved ones no longer have time to watch a movie with you or it could be simply due to the life transitions such as leaving for college, losing a partner to death or divorce, starting a new job, retiring and losing the daily company of colleagues and associates, or moving to a new town or country. Loneliness is the isolation that comes with nursing a feeling unreturned — an expectation unmet. It is the perpetual state of seeking that which you so crave, that which you so need. It is the putting of your key to happiness in someone else’ pocket.

The longer our loneliness lasts, that more challenging it can be to break the mindsets and judgments (both ours and others’) that contribute to maintaining our isolation.

When you are lonely, you tend to assume people aren’t interested in your company and that if you reach out to them they will reject you and turn you down. As a result you take little initiative and find excuses to turn down invitations when you do get them. Your negativity and reluctance to give your friends the benefit of the doubt creates a self-fulfilling prophecy in which your own reactions and avoidance pushes them away even further. Because you remain blind to your part in creating the distance, you see their withdrawal as confirmation of your fears and become even more convinced they no longer care about you.

On the other hand, being alone is quite the opposite. Loneliness and aloneness stand as the two pillars to the one, emotional pendulum. Loneliness for some, may be a chronic condition where your own company is never enough; where spending time with yourself may produce anxiety and sometimes worse symptoms such as panic attacks and depression. For many, the perceived solution to keep this fear away is to make sure that you are always in the company of another. Being alone is being totally okay when you are by yourself. Being happy watching a movie alone, walking at the beach shore as you enjoy the sunset, treating yourself to ice cream because you simply deserve it. You are alone, not because no one wants you in their life but because you simply love yourself and you are alone by choice. You are emotionally independent and you don’t mind if your best friend doesn’t text you for some days or even weeks. You can’t allow yourselves to be defined by the people you surround yourself with. You can’t allow yourself to be defined by your relationship status or your weekend plans or the screaming silence of your mobile phone.

Although alone and lonely are often thought of as being one in the same, alone doesn’t equal loneliness. Learning to be alone may be initially scary but once mastered serves as the cornerstone for your development and growth as a human being. There’s so much to be gained from learning to rely, and more importantly, to trust your own inner voice as the best source for your own guidance.

Loneliness may have deep effects and be the part-cause of mental disorders such as depression, social anxiety, addiction and hoarding. Therefore, addressing your loneliness could be the key to unleashing your healthy mind. And as much as someone may argue that all of us do feel lonely every once in a while, you just shouldn’t let it overwhelm you such that you become a victim of the above mentioned disorders.

Sometimes the best cure to loneliness is, in fact, to be alone. You may want to take baby steps first in stopping feeling lonely and starting to being alone such as going to a road trip by yourself, a swim, a movie or even simply a treat. Then gradually take greater steps like making your own life decisions, being independent, managing your own finances and taking full and complete control of your life.

Just know that, whichever you happen to be or feel at this exact moment, the power to maintain or change it will always be in your own hands — not in theirs, or in anyone else’s. Start making the necessary changes in your life and make yourself the best company for YOU.

REFERENCES:

psychologytoday.com
http://thoughtcatalog.com/