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Broken Homes

The Swahilis have a saying that goes like, ‘Ndoa ni kuingiza mkono gizani’ (Marriage is like putting your hand into darkness (let’s say like a dark hole of sorts). This is to mean that whatever comes after the nikah is done is totally uncertain and unknown. However much you might think you know a person before marriage, this new phase is something totally different. It is unpredictable. It is filled with surprises and sometimes shocks too. And a lot of patience is needed.

Marriage is not a bed of roses just like it isn’t an absolute nightmare. There will always be highs and lows. Yet if you ask anyone who is walking into marriage no one will ever tell you that they intend to get divorced after two or three years. No one wants that for themselves and no one even expects it. We all dream of happy, blissful homes, and despite the ups and downs, we want to stay with our partners until our hair turns grey and our faces are filled with wrinkles. We want to have children who will be brilliant in intellect and wonderful in character and who will serve us until our final breath. However, that is not always the reality.

How many times have we heard of cases of domestic violence or emotional abuse or infidelity among spouses? Of fathers raping their children and mothers forming romantic relationships with their sons? Of once very loving partners now dragging each other in courts of law and hanging their dirty linen outside? Of children attempting to kill their own parents or siblings? How many times? It is so easy for us to think, ‘that could never be me’ yet how many times have we witnessed the tables turn, and in the worst way possible?

Most of us fail to realize how fragile our fates are and how we are in desperate need of Allah’s mercy and protection. Don’t let it confuse you-not every spoilt, criminal child is a result of a poor upbringing, and not every divorced partner is a result of awful character. For how many times have we witnessed pious, humble spouses from good families having the cruelest children who were but a test to them? And how many times have we seen two good individuals who were better in their separate ways rather than in a marriage? And how many negligent parents have the most responsible and kind children?

Allah Subhanahu Wataala says in Surat Al Furqan, verse 20: ‘…And We have made some of you [people] as trial for others – will you have patience? And ever is your Lord, Seeing.’

Think about it- Nabii Lut’s wife, Nabii Nuh’s son, Nabii Ibrahim’s father were among the disbelievers. Nabii Yusuf’s brothers were the plotters against him, and Asiya’s husband, Fira’un, was the worst man to have walked this earth….

Think about the boy who was killed by Al Khidr during his journey with Nabii Musa aleyhi ssalam in Surat Kahf (verse 80 – 81) And Al Khidr explains to Nabii Musa why he ended the boy’s life in this verse:

“And as for the boy, his parents were ˹true˺ believers, and we feared that he would pressure them into defiance and disbelief. So we hoped that their Lord would give them another, more virtuous and caring in his place.”

This was a mercy from Allah to the parents-saving them from a child who was potentially going to mislead them. Yet sometimes Allah allows the child to live on and become a test to his parents.

Similarly, think of the case of Zaid ibn Harith (the adopted son of the prophet peace be upon him) who had to divorce Zeinab bint Jahsh because of the troubles in their marriage despite both of them being among the sahabas; good, pious people. And Allah Subhanahu Wataala revealed to the prophet peace be upon him to marry Zeinab after the divorce (And this was to show the validity of marrying an adopted son’s ex-wife).

…The list goes on and on. Weren’t these prophets and most pious individuals? Yet they too endured tests within their families Subhanallah.

'O you who have believed, indeed, among your spouses and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allāh is Forgiving and Merciful. Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward.'

(Surat At-Taghabun, verse 14 - 15)

When I was younger I used to think that if a spouse is pious and affectionate with their spouse, and they raised their children upon the deen then nothing could ever go wrong. But boy, didn’t life open up my eyes? It is very scary and sad when we look around our own families and friends’ marriages and see the kind of struggles people have to endure. And for every one person that I meet that says, ‘Get married, it is such a beautiful thing’ I meet four others who say, ‘Don’t rush. Take your time for what awaits on the other side is not a joke.’ It is even more heartbreaking to see what children have to endure as a result of broken homes or the kind of monsters created within them from the experiences they endure. Or sometimes we see parents violate and abuse their own children and vice versa, and it really terrifies me that none of us is guaranteed an upright spouse who will fear Allah on you and your children or children who will honour you after you gave them the best kind of upbringing.

It all goes back to what Allah has decreed upon us- and sometimes, these same people who are meant to be blessings, become the hardest trials upon us (May Allah protect us). I think it is timely to say that, the next time you see someone in a tough marriage, or who is divorced, don’t be quick to judge their character or religiosity. Just the same way when you see a child abusing drugs or harming his/her own family members, don’t be quick to point fingers at the parents for poor upbringing. And of course, these trials are not necessarily only within the direct family. Sometimes the in-laws are the test, or one’s parents or grandparents, or siblings or extended family.

Truly life is not simply black and white. If anything, whenever we see someone suffering at the hands of their own people, or when we see people harming their own loved ones, we should be quick to make dua for them and for ourselves, our children, and our families -for very very easily could we be tested the same exact way or worse.

*

Ya Allah, we come to you with our hopes and fears with regards to our homes.

Ya Allah, please grant us peaceful homes that will be filled with Your remembrance. Please grant us spouses, children, families and in-laws who will be huge blessings to us, and us to them. Ya Allah, please do not test us with our spouses, children, parents, siblings, families or in-laws. Ya Allah make our families have the fear of You with regards to us and enable us to be among Your most beloved worshippers.

Ya Allah, please grant us spouses who will bring us closer to you. Who will be merciful, kind and compassionate towards us throughout the highs and lows of life. Ya Allah make them fit in well with our families and let us fit well with their families. Ya Allah make our spouses honour our parents like their own and make us do the same for their parents. Ya Allah grant us an understanding of one another, patience towards each others’ shortcomings and love and mercy that lasts till Jannah.

Ya Allah grant us offsprings who will grow up in Your remembrance; who will love You and dedicate their lives to your worship. Ya Allah make Your book, the Qur’an, beloved to them and to us, and make them among those who not only recite it beautifully but memorize it and apply its teachings to their lives.

Ya Allah, if you have written for us spouses and offspring who will be a test for us, we beg You to change that fate for us and grant us in their place spouses and offspring who will be a huge blessing to us.

Ya Allah make our spouses, children, and families feel most safe with us, and may we feel most safe with them. Ya Allah protect us from divorce, and unhappy marriages that can only be survived and endured, and lifeless marriages that lack love and compassion, and ungrateful children and displeasure of parents and cruelty of in-laws.

Ya Allah please bless our homes and protect us from all evil, conflict, ayn, hasad and sihr.

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

‘Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.’

رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنَ الصَّالِحِينَ

‘My Lord! Bless me with righteous offspring.’


رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلَاةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ

‘My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and from my descendants. Our Lord, and accept my supplication.’

رَبَّنَا وَٱجْعَلْنَا مُسْلِمَيْنِ لَكَ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِنَآ أُمَّةًۭ مُّسْلِمَةًۭ لَّكَ وَأَرِنَا مَنَاسِكَنَا وَتُبْ عَلَيْنَآ ۖ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ ٱلتَّوَّابُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ

‘Our Lord! Make us submissive to You and make out of our descendants a community that submits itself to You, and show us the ways of Your worship, and turn to us in mercy. You are Much-Relenting, Most Compassionate.’


رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي فِي ذُرِّيَّتِي ۖ إِنِّي تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِين

‘My Lord! Inspire me to ˹always˺ be thankful for Your favours which You blessed me and my parents with, and to do good deeds that please You. And instil righteousness in my offspring. I truly repent to You, and I truly submit ˹to Your Will˺.’

رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنْ لَدُنْكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً ۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاءِ

‘My Lord, grant me from Yourself a good offspring. Indeed, You are the Hearer of supplication.’

اللَّهُمَّ أَلِّفْ بَيْنَ قُلُوبِنَا وَأَصْلِحْ ذَاتَ بَيْنِنَا وَاهْدِنَا سُبُلَ السَّلاَمِ وَنَجِّنَا مِنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّورِ وَجَنِّبْنَا الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ وَبَارِكْ لَنَا فِي أَسْمَاعِنَا وَأَبْصَارِنَا وَقُلُوبِنَا وَأَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا وَتُبْ عَلَيْنَا إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيمُ وَاجْعَلْنَا شَاكِرِينَ لِنِعْمَتِكَ مُثْنِينَ بِهَا قَابِلِيهَا وَأَتِمَّهَا عَلَيْنَا‏.‏

‘O Allah, join our hearts, mend our social relationship, guide us to the path of peace, bring us from darkness to light, save us from obscenities, outward or inward, and bless our ears, our eyes, our hearts, our wives, our children, and relent toward us; Thou art the Relenting, the Merciful. And make us grateful for Thy blessing and make us praise it while accepting it and give it to us in full.’

Ameen ameen ameen!

***

Alhamdulilah we are blessed to be alive within the last ten days of Ramadhan. May Allah grant us the chance to experience laylatul qadr while in worship. May He grant us redemption, accept our good deeds and elevate our status, ameen!

Kindly subscribe below to stay tuned with part 5 of this series: ‘Getting attached to the Dunya’ in Shaa Allah. And please share the link to your networks, shukran! Stay blessed in shaa Allah 🙂

Photo by Idina Risk from Pexels

I beseech Your aid

Oh God

For my heart has become a graveyard

with withered flowers

and weeds of undesirability

I can no longer bear the weight

of the caskets carrying

the deadness of my emotions

My doom-laden pillars crumbling

at the height of my anxiety

and my tombstone

displaying engravings

of all the letters

of pain

***

I invoke you

Ya Allah

This desolation

has brought me to my knees

My hands raised high

to the sky

Save me, Oh God

For my mind has become

a battle field of abrupt wars

and hostile armies

Only this time

I am both the ally

and the enemy

Corpses of my thoughts

lie around like hungry fleas

sucking the life

out of me.

***

I beg for mercy

My Lord,

This affliction

is wrecking my soul

An air hunger seizing my lungs

amid a thunderstorm of craze

A heavy downpour of anguish

floods my entire being

while the strong winds howl

at the loss

of my sanity

***

I implore you

My Creator

For a miracle

When everything seems impossible

Let your

Light

Beam through this shadow

Turn the valley of my wounds

Into river beds

Where your Mercy

Can flow through

If my soul is in the shade that pleases you

Then I ask,

O Maker of suns,

To show me how to bloom.

I pray.

I pray.

I pray.

It’s a tricky time to write because almost always and somehow, the topic ends up at Corona virus. Alafu you Kenyans, what is this joke of dancing to a coffin?!! 😀 I swear Kenyans amuse me. But then, we all have different coping mechanisms right? For Kenyans, it is memes. Kenyans is Me 😀

So you guys remember My Happy Person right? He grew up. ‘Hassan’ (not his real name but because my dad kinda loves this name and because Hassan from kite runner is my most favourite fictional character of ALL TIMES!!!) is now four years old and is totally adoooorable!! Also, he started school and madrasa. Remember when we joked how I’d be the one to take him to school once he joined because he ‘disliked’ me passionately and wouldn’t even cry for me if I left him there? Well guess what? On the D-day, I didn’t accompany him because my heart was literally aching at the thought of how much he’d cry. Weak heart, I know 😀 He is a super cry baby so we all know how that went. However, to our utmost surprise, by the third day he had already adapted. He wasn’t crying anymore. He would wake up at fajr like an adult, demand for a book and pencil to write on, and repeat several times ‘school’ because he can’t just wait to get there. We were shook y’all. We thought he’d cry for an entire week AT LEAST. But here he was!

By the third week of school, my boy was famous. When he’d just arrive at the vicinity of the school, his classmates would start chanting, ‘YELLOW! YELLOW! YELLOW!’ Now here are some random facts:

*He still doesn’t know how to speak apart from some few words.

*He uses colour codes to describe what he wants.

He really is addicted to juice, which happens to be yellow in colour. So whenever he’d want the juice, he’d say Yellow instead. I guess that is how his classmates ended up nicknaming him Yellow. We were concerned he’d be bullied at school because of his difficulty in speech but to our surprise, he turned out to be the ‘cool kid’. I don’t know why or how, but everyday we’d take him to his class and everyone starts chorusing his name, everyone calling him to their table, some making space for him to sit, some showing him their snacks, God! It is overwhelming even for me to watch. He is an anxious kid himself so you can imagine the discomfort of being the center of attention 😀 I think he is also adapting to that, perhaps even liking it a little bit. I see how he has this hidden-yet-not-so-subtle smile creeping on his lips. It is nice to be seen.

The once very annoying kid now gives me full hugs and kisses and doesn’t mind to sleep with me and sometimes just randomly walks into my room, calls out my name then rumbles things i’d never understand. Oh and yes! He even says ‘I love you’ back 😀 Y’all better say mashallah, took me nearly 4 years of complaining a lot and forcing my love on him till he accepted it. This reminds me, there were times i’d sit with him, patting his hair and say, ‘May Allah protect you, say ameen’ He would say ‘Ameen’. ‘May Allah guide you, say ameen’ ‘Ameen’. And we would go on like that until I say ,’May Allah make you love me’ and he would LEGIT KEEP QUIET!!! Or even worse, walk away *Inserts weeping emojis* But then I guess love wins after all huh?!

Now we have another soldier in the house. Hassan’s younger brother. He is taller, more built than Hassan. He walks on his toes, literally and he is always trying to do some engineering. His hobby is picking screws and nails and any tools and just inserting them within any hole he sees in the house. That includes your torn clothe, if you put it on, next thing you have a nail poking you. His nick name is Hanuni. I call him Halimi so that when he grows up he can say he is ‘Halimi McDreamy’ (if you know, you know 😀 )Also, I tend to have special, separate nicknames for my loved ones *Grins* So Halimi is a hyper energetic one, mashallah. He has so much energy I think he most probably will end up in sports, or we will persuade him to do so because wow. so much energy. Hassan is sometimes scared of him because he hits him. So the kind of scenario you’ll find at home is Hassan running around screaming ‘Hanuni! Hanuni! Ma Hanuni!’ He is legit being bullied by his younger brother.

Halimi doesn’t like me much either. He is mostly throwing tantrums and being an angry bird. He used to call me ‘Dudii’ and now he calls me ‘Bulii’ like I am the bully?! He frequently walks into my room and pushes the door wide open till it hits the wall hard (yeah see what I mean by so much energy?) Then he walks in like a big boss, on his toes and looks around for anything to dismantle. And because my room is typically nerdy with so many books and study material, we have this game whereby whenever he walks in I start chasing him. Okay it wasn’t a game initially. I was seriously letting him out of the room so he doesn’t ruin my stuff but then he turned it into a game. So it typically goes two ways:

He pushes the door wide open, walks in and starts touching stuff. Mostly the earphones because he loves removing those tiny rubbers on them then either putting them in his mouth or just running away with them. And I follow him, pissed! while he is laughing, going to a corner to hide. Or sometimes as soon as he walks in and I turn my head towards him, he laughs then runs away.

On other occasions, as soon as I see him, I take him out of the room, close the door and while he is complaining, I tell him I love him. His mother always remarks, ‘What a way to love him, by chasing him away :D’

I pretty much envision Halimi protecting his brother in the future. Hassan is so compassionate and sweet right now, your heart would melt. Halimi is more charming and brave. I love them both too much. Anyway, I hope two years from now i’ll once again come here and tell you how much more Halimi loves me then. But anyway, he does love me even now because he has made my bedroom floor his favourite lying down place. Or maybe he just loves my room 😀 Let us wait till he starts talking then we ask him in shaa Allah.

Both boys are more attached to the male in our family, so they love my brother a lot, it makes me really jealous. My brother just has to exist and they love him so much mashallah (thu thu thu 😀 ) Like when they’d just hear his voice they go to the door, Halimi calls him ‘Sidoo’ in such a sweet way, and they’d hug him and literally feed him like he is the baby and they’d want to be carried by him. Come to my case now, I sometimes have to beg for a hug y’all *Weeping a river* I guess some of us just didn’t get the love luck y’all 😀

They make me happy. Like genuinely, whole-heartedly happy. They talk gibberish which is hilarious to listen to and they make everything so much lovelier! I could be in the worst of moods, about to have a nervous breakdown but they still melt my heart. May Allah protect them both! ameen! 😀

I shared these two little angels with you because to be honest, I don’t know how else to make it easier or lighter during such a tricky time. But I hope the 5, or is it 3 minutes you spent reading this will bring a smile on your face.

It is not dark and gloom my people. There is good and joy and love in this life. Please take it easy on yourself. Pray a lot. For my anxious fam, this too shall pass. Have firm faith that Allah is in control and will for sure protect and guide us. Ameen. Stay safe! Don’t forget to smile! 🙂

***

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You may read part 2 at: http://lubnah.me.ke/100-hadiths-on-women-part-2/

C. ACTS OF WORSHIP كتاب العبادات

1. What Has Been Narrated Concerning Women Leaving (Their House) For The Masjid

Ibn ‘Umar reported the Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) as saying; Do not prevent your women from visiting the mosque; but their houses are better for them (for praying).

“عَنِ اْبنِ عُمَرَ، قاَل قاَل رَسُوُل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ” لَا تمْنعُوا نِسَاَءكمُ اْلمَسَاجد وَُبيُوُتُهنَّ خيْرٌ لهنَّ ”
Grade : Sahih (Al-Albani)

2. Friday Prayer

Narrated Ibn `Umar:
One of the wives of `Umar (bin Al-Khattab) used to offer the Fajr and the `Isha’ prayer in
congregation in the Mosque. She was asked why she had come out for the prayer as she knew that `Umar disliked it, and he has great ghaira (self-respect). She replied, “What prevents him from stopping me from this act?” The other replied, “The statement of Allah’s Messenger(ﷺ)’ :Do not stop Allah’s women-slaves from going to Allah’s Mosques’ prevents him.”

عَنِ اْبنِ عُمَرَ، قاَل كاَنتِ اْمرَأٌَة لعُمَرَ تشهد صَلاة الصُّبحِ وَاْلعِشَاِء فِي اْلجَمَاعَةِ فِي اْلمَسجِِد، فقِيلَ لها لمَ تخْرُجينَ وَقد تعَْلمِينَ أن عُمَرَ يكْرَُه ذَِلكَ وََيغَارُ قَاَلتْ وََما يمْنعُُه أن ينهانِي
قاَل يمْنَعُُه قَوُْل رَسُولِ اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ” لَا تمْنَعُوا إَِماَء اَّلِلّه مسَاجد اَّ لِلّه

Sahih al-Bukhari 900

3. Woman traveling alone, even to hajj

Narrated Ibn `Abbas:
The Prophet said, “A woman should not travel except with a Dhu-Mahram (her husband or a man with whom that woman cannot marry at all according to the Islamic Jurisprudence), and no man may visit her except in the presence of a Dhu-Mahram.” A man got up and said, “O Allah’s Messenger I intend to go to such and such an army and my wife wants to perform Hajj.” The Prophetsaid (to him), “Go along with her (to Hajj).

عَنِ اْبنِ عَباسٍ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قاَل قَاَل النبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ” لَا تسَافِرِ اْلمَرْأة إِلَّا معَ ذي محْرَمٍ، وَلَا يْدخُلُ عََل يها رَجُلٌ إِلَّا وََمعََها محرَمٌ “. فَقَاَل رَجُلٌ يا رَسُوَل
اَّلِلّ إِ نِي أرِيُد أن أخرُجَ جَيْشِ كذا وَكذا، وَاْمرَأتِي ترِيُد اْلحَجَّ . فَقَاَل ” اخرُجْ معََها

Sahih al-Bukhari 1862

4. The Tawaf of women and men

Ibn Juraij said, “ `Ata informed us that when Ibn Hisham forbade women to perform Tawaf with men he said to him, ‘How do you forbid them while the wives of the Prophet(ﷺ) used to perform Tawaf with the men?’ I said, ‘Was this before decreeing of the use of the veil or after it? `Ata took an oath and said, ‘I saw it after the order of veil.’ I said, ‘How did they mix with the men?’ `Ata said, ‘The women never mixed with the men, and `A’ishah used to perform Tawaf separately and never mixed with men. Once it happened that `A’ishah was performing the Tawaf and woman said to her, ‘O Mother of believers! Let us touch the Black stone.’ `A’ishah said to her, ‘Go yourself,’ and she herself refused to do so. The wives of the Prophet(ﷺ) used to come out in night, in disguise and used to perform Tawaf with men. But whenever they intended to enter the Ka`bah, they would stay outside till the men had gone out. I and `Ubaid bin `Umair used to visit `A’ishah while she was residing at JaufThabir.” I asked, “What was her veil?” `Ata said, “She was wearing an old Turkish veil, and that was the only thing (veil) which was screen between us and her. I saw a pink cover on her.”

قَاَل اْبنُ جُرَْيجٍ أخْبرََنا قاَل أخبَرَنِي عطاٌء، إذْ منعَ اْبنُ هِشَامٍ النِ سَاَء الطَّ وَافَ معَ الرِ جالِ قاَل كَيفَ يمْنَعُُهنَّ، وَقد طَافَ نِسَاُء النبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم معَ الرِ جَالِ قلتُ أبعَْد اْلحجَابِ أوْ قَبْلُ قَاَل إِي لعَمرِي لقَْد أدرَكته بعَْد اْلحجَابِ . قلتُ كيْفَ يخاِلطنَ الرِ جَاَل قَاَل لمْ يكنَّ يخَاِلطْنَ كاَنتْ عَائِشة ـ رضى الله عنها ـ تطُوفُ حَجْرًَة مِنَ الرِ جَالِ لَا تخَاِلطُُهمْ، فقَاَلتِ اْمرَأٌَة اْنطَلِقِي نسْتلِمْ يا أمَّ اْلمُؤْمِنِي نَ. قاَلتْ }اْنطلِقِي{ عَنْ كِ. وَأب تْ. }وَكنَّ { يخْرُج نَ متنكِ رَاتٍ بِالَّليْلِ، فَيطُفْنَ معَ الرِ جَالِ، وََلكِنهنَّ كنَّ إِذَا دخلنَ اْلبَيْتَ قمْنَ حَتى يْدخُْلنَ وَأخْرِجَ الرِ جَاُل، وَكنتُ آتِي عائِشة أنا وَعُبيد بنُ عُمَيرٍ وَهِيَ مجَاوِرٌَة فِي جَوْفِ ثبِيرٍ . قلتُ وََما حِجَاُبَها قاَل هِيَ فِي قبةٍ ترْكِيةٍ لَها غِشاٌء، وََما بيْننا وََبينها غَيرُ
ذَِلكَ، وَرَأيتُ عليَْها درْعا موَرًَّدا

Sahih al-Bukhari 1618

5. Getting the attention of the Imam

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet(ﷺ) said, “The saying ‘Sub Han Allah’ is for men and clapping is for women.” (If something happens in the prayer, the men can invite the attention of the Imam by saying “Sub Han Allah”. And women, by clapping their hands).

عَنْ أبِي هرَْيرََة ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عنِ النَّبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قاَل ” التَّسْبِيحُ للرِ جالِ وَالتصْفِيقُ للن سَاِء

Sahih al-Bukhari 1203

6. Wearing niqab and gloves while in ihram

Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Prophet( )ﷺas saying A woman in the sacred state (wearing ihram) must not be veiled or wear gloves.
عَنِ اْبنِ عُمَرَ، عَنِ النبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قاَل ” اْلمُحْرَِمُة لَا تنتقِبُ وَلَا تْلبسُ اْلقفازَْينِ

Grade : Sahih (Al-Albani) SunanAbiDawud 1826

7. Permission For Women To Go Out To The ‘Id Prayer And Attend The Khutbah, Separated From The Men

Umm ‘Atiyya reported:
The Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) commanded us to bring out on’Id-ul-Fitr and ‘Id-ul-Adha young women, menstruating women and purdah-observing ladies, menstruating women kept back from prayer, but participated in goodness and supplication of the Muslims. I said: Messenger of Allah, one of us does not have an outer garment (to cover her face and body). He said: Let her sister cover her with her outer garment.

عَنْ أمِ عَطِية، قَاَلتْ أمرََنا رَسُوُل اَّلِلّه صلى الله عليه وسلم أن نخْرِجَُهنَّ فِي اْلفِطْرِ وَالَأضحى اْلعَوَاتِقَ وَاْلحُيضَ وَذَوَاتِ اْلخُُدورِ فأما اْلحُيضُ فيَعْتَزِْلنَ الصلَاَة وََيشَْهْدن اْلخَيرَ وََدعْوََة
اْلمُسْلِمِينَ . قلتُ يا رَسوَل اَّلِلّ إحَْداَنا لَا يكوُن لَها جلبابٌ قاَل ” لتلبِسها أُختَُها مِنْ جِْلبابَِها

Sahih Muslim 890 c

8. Conditions before going to mosque

‘Amra, daughter of Abd al-Rahmin, reported:
I heard ‘A’isha, the wife of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) .Say: If the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) had seen what new things the women have introduced (in their way of life) he would have definitely prevented them from going to the mosque, as the women of BaniIsra’il were prevented.

عنْ عَمْرََة بِنتِ عَبد الرَّحْمَنِ، أنَها سمِعَتْ عَائِشََة، زَوْجَ النبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم تقوُل لوْ أََّن رَسوَل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم رَأى ما أحَْدثَ النِ ساُء لمَنَعَُهنَّ اْلمسْجد كمَا منِعَتْ
نِسَاُء بنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ . قاَل فقلتُ لعَمرََة أنِسَاُء بنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ منِعْنَ اْلمَسجَِد قَاَلتْ نعَمْ

Sahih Muslim 445 a

9. Excessive worship

Narrated ‘Aisha:
Once the Prophet (ﷺ) came while a woman was sitting with me. He said, “Who is she?” I replied, “She is so and so,” and told him about her (excessive) praying. He said disapprovingly, “Do (good) deeds which is within your capacity (without being overtaxed) as Allah does not get tired (of giving rewards) but (surely) you will get tired and the best deed (act of Worship) in the sight of Allah is that which is done regularly.”

عَنْ عَائِشََة، أن النبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم دخلَ عََليَْها وَعِندَها اْمرَأة قاَل منْ هذهِ “. قاَلتْ فلَاَنُة . تذكُرُ مِنْ صَلَاتَِ ها. قاَل ” مْه، عََليكمْ بِمَا تطِيقوَن، فَوَاَّلِلّ لَا يمَلُّ اَّلُلّ حَتى
تمَُّلوا “. وَكاَن أَحبَّ الِ دينِ إَِليْهِ ما دامَ عََليهِ صَاحبه

Sahih al-Bukhari 43

10. Missing prayer while on menstrual period

Narrated Mu`adha:
A woman asked `Aisha, “Should I offer the prayers that which I did not offer because of menses” `Aisha said, “Are you from the Huraura’ (a town in Iraq?) We were with the Prophet (ﷺ) and used to get our periods but he never ordered us to offer them (the Prayers missed during menses).” `Aisha perhaps said, “We did not offer them.”
Sahih al-Bukhari

حََّدَثنا موسَى بنُ إِسْمَاعِيلَ، قاَل حدَثنَا همَّامٌ، قَاَل حََّدَثنا قتاَدُة، قاَل حََّدَثتنِي معَاذَُة، أن اْمرَأًَة، قَاَلتْ لعَائِ شة أََتجْزِي إِحَْداَنا صَلَاَتَها إِذَا طهرَتْ فقاَلتْ أَحَرُورَِّيٌة أنتِ كنا نحيضُ معَ النَّبِيِ
صلى الله عليه وسلم فَلَا يأمرَُنا بِهِ. أَوْ قاَلتْ فلَا نفْعَُله

11. Disrupting prayer

a. Narrated `Aisha:
The things which annul prayer were mentioned before me (and those were): a dog, a donkey and a woman. I said, “You have compared us (women) to donkeys and dogs. By Allah! I saw the Prophet (ﷺ) praying while I used to lie in (my) bed between him and the Qibla. Whenever I was in need of something, I disliked to sit and trouble the Prophet. So, I would slip away by the side of his feet.”
Sahih al-Bukhari 514

عن عَائِشََة، ذُكِرَ عِندَها ما يقطعُ الصلَاَة اْلكَْلبُ وَاْلحمَارُ وَاْلمَرْأة فقاَلتْ شَبَّْهتمُوَنا بِاْلحمُرِ وَاْلكِلابِ، وَاَّلِلّ لقَْد رَأيتُ النبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يص لِي، وَإ نِي عََلى السَّرِيرِ ـ بينه
وََبينَ اْلقِبَْلةِ ـ مضطجِعًَة فَتبدو لي اْلحَاجَُة، فأكرَُه أن أجْلِسَ فَأُوِذيَ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فأنسَلُّ مِنْ عِند رِجَْليْهِ

b. Narrated `Urwa:
The Prophet (ﷺ) prayed while `Aisha was lying between him and his Qibla on the bed on which they used to sleep.
Sahih al-Bukhari 384

عَنْ عُرْوََة، أن النبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم كَاَن يصَ لِي وَعَائِشَُة معْترِضٌَة بينه وََبينَ اْلقِبَْلةِ على اْلفِرَاشِ اَّلِذي يناَمانِ عََليهِ

12. Performing hajj on behalf of your unable father

Narrated Ibn `Abbas:
A woman from the tribe of Khath’am asked for the verdict of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) ( regarding something) during Hajjat-ul-Wada` while Al-Fadl bin `Abbas was the companion-rider behind Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) .She asked, “Allah’s ordained obligation (i.e. compulsory Hajj) enjoined on His slaves has become due on my old father who cannot sit firmly on the riding animal. Will it be sufficient if I perform the Hajj on his behalf?” He said, “Yes.”
Sahih al-Bukhari 4399

عَنِ اْبنِ عَباسٍ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ أن اْمرَأًَة، مِنْ خَثعَمَ اسْتفتتْ رَسُوَل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِي حجةِ اْلوََداعِ وَاْلفضْلُ بنُ عَباسٍ رَِديفُ رَسُولِ اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَاَلتْ
يا رَسُوَل اَّلِلّ إَِّن فرِيضََة اَّلِلّ عََلى عِبَاِدهِ أَْدرَكَتْ أَبِي شَيخًا كبِيرًا لَا يسْتطِيعُ أن يستَوِيَ على الر احلةِ، فََهلْ يقضِي أن أحُجَّ عَنه قَاَل : نعَمْ


13. Fasting in the presence of your husband Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A woman should not fast (optional fasts) except with her husband’s permission if he is at home (staying with her).
Sahih al-Bukhari 5192

عَنْ أبِي هرَْيرََة، عَنِ النبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “لَا تصُومُ اْلمَرْأة وََبعُْلها شَاهٌِد إِلَّا بِِإذْنِهِ

14. Performing hajj on behalf of your deceased mother

Narrated Ibn `Abbas:
A woman came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, “My mother vowed to perform the Hajj but she died before performing it. Should I perform the Hajj on her behalf?” He said, “Yes! Perform the Hajj on her behalf. See, if your mother had been in debt, would you have paid her debt?” She said, “Yes.” He said, “So you should pay what is for Him as Allah has more right that one should fulfill one’s obligations to Him. “
Sahih al-Bukhari 7315

عَنِ اْبنِ عَباسٍ، أن اْمرَأة، جَاَءتْ إَِلى النَّبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فقاَلتْ إَِّن أ مِي نَذرَتْ أن تحجَّ فمَاَتتْ قَبلَ أَْن تحُجَّ أفأحُجَّ عَنها قاَل نعَمْ حج ي عنَْها، أَرَأَْيتِ لوْ كَاَن عََلى
أمِكِ دْينٌ أكنتِ قاضِيتَُه “. قاَلتْ نعَمْ . فَقَاَل فاقضُوا اَّلِذي لُه، فَِإَّن اَّلَلّ أحقُّ بِاْلوَفاِء

15. Repaying missed prayers while on menses

Mu’adha reported:
A woman asked ‘A’isha: Should one amongst us complete prayers abandoned during the period of menses? ‘A’isha said: Are you a Haruriya? When any one of us during the time of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was in her menses (and abandoned prayer) she was not required to complete them.
Sahih Muslim 335 a

عَنْ معَاذََة، أن اْمرَأة، سَألتْ عائِشة فقاَلتْ أََتقْضِي إِحَْداَنا الصَّلَاَة أيا مَ محِيضَِها فَقاَلتْ عائِشة أَحَرُورَِّية أَْنتِ قد كاَنتْ إِحَْداَنا تحيضُ عََلى عهد رَسولِ اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ثمَّ لَا
تؤَْمرُ بِقضَاٍء

16. Standing formation when praying with opposite gender

Abdullah b. Al-Mukhtar heard Musa b. Anas narrating on the authority of Anas b. Malik that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) led him, his mother or his aunt in prayer. He made me, stand on his right side and made the woman stand, behind us.
Sahih Muslim 660 b

عَنْ أنَسَِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، أنََّ رَسُولَ الل صلى الله عليه وسلم صَلىَّ بهِِ وَبِأ مُِهِ أوَْ خَالتَهِِ . قاَلَ فأَقَاَمَنيِ عَنْ يمَِينهِِ وَأقَاَمَ الْمَرْأةََ خَلْفنَاَ

17. Repaying fasts of a deceased relative

Ibn ‘Abbas (Allah be pleased with both of them) reported:
A woman came to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and said: My mother has died, and fasts of a month are due from her. Thereupon he said: Don’t you see that if debt was due from her, would you not pay it? She said: Yes (I would pay on her behalf). Thereupon he said: The debt of Allah deserves its payment more than (the payment of anyone else).
Sahih Muslim 1148 a

عَنِ اْبنِ عَباسٍ، – رضى الله عنهما – أن اْمرَأة، أََتتْ رَسُوَل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فقَاَلتْ إَِّن أ مِي ماَتتْ وَعََليها صَوْمُ شَْ هرٍ . فقاَل أرَأَْيتِ لوْ كَاَن عليها دينٌ أَكُنت
تقْضِينه ” . قاَلتْ نعَمْ . قَاَل ” فََدْينُ اَّلِلّ أَحَقُّ بِاْلقضَاِء

18. Umrah in ramadhan equals to Hajj

Ataa reported:
I heard Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) narrating to us that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said to a woman of the Ansar (Ibn Abbas had mentioned her name but I have forgotten it): ‘What has prevented you that you do not perform Hajj along with us? She said: We have only two camels for carrying water. One of the camels has been taken by my husband and my son for performing Hajj and one has been left for us for carrying water, whereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: So when the month of Ramadan come, perform Umra, for’Umra in this (month) is equal to Hajj (in reward). Sahih Muslim 1255 b

عَطَاٌء، قاَل سَمِعْتُ اْبنَ عَباسٍ، يح دثنَا قاَل قاَل رَسُوُل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم لِاْمرَأةٍ مِنَ الَأْنصارِ سمَّاَها اْبنُ عَبَّاسٍ فنسِيتُ اسْمََها ما منعَكِ أن تحُجِ ي معَنَا ” . قَاَلتْ لمْ
يكنْ لنا إِلَّا ناضِحَانِ فحجَّ أَُبو وََلِدَها وَاْبنها عََلى ناضِحٍ وََترَكَ لنا ناضِحا ننْضِحُ عليهِ قَاَل ” فإذَا جَاَء رََمضَاُن فاعْتمِرِي فَِإَّن عمْرًَة فِيهِ تعِْدُل حَجًَّة

19. Hajj for children and rewards for the parent

It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas that:
The Messenger of Allah passed by a woman when she was in her seclusion and had a child with her.
She said: “Is there Hajj for this one?’’ He said: “Yes, and you will be rewarded.’’
Sahih (Darussalam)
Sunan an-Nasa’i 2649

عَنِ اْبنِ عَباسٍ، أن رَسُوَل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مرَّ بِاْمرَأةٍ وَهِيَ فِي خدرَِها معََها صَبِيٌّ فقاَلتْ ألَهذا حَجٌّ قَاَل “نعَمْ وََلكِ أجْرٌ

20. A woman gifting from her wealth

It was narrated from ‘Amr bin Shu’aib, from his father, from his grandfather, that the Messenger of Allah said:“It is not permissible for a woman to give a gift from her wealth, once her husband has marital authority over her.” This is the wording of (one of the narrators) Muhammad.
Hasan (Darussalam)
Sunan an-Nasa’i 3756

عَنْ عَمْرِو بنِ شُعَيبٍ، عَنْ أبِيهِ، عنْ ج دهِ، أََّن رَسُوَل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قاَل : لَا يجُوزُ لِاْمرَأةٍ هِبٌَة فِي ماِلَها إِذَا مَلكَ زَوْجَُها عِصْمَتها

21. Giving charity from household foodstuff

Narrated `Aisha:
Allah’s Messenger ()ﷺ said, “When a woman gives in charity some of the foodstuff (which she has in her house) without spoiling it, she will receive the reward for what she has spent, and her husband will receive the reward because of his earning, and the storekeeper will also have a reward similar to it. The reward of one will not decrease the reward of the others . “
Sahih al-Bukhari 1425

عَنْ عَائِشََة ـ رضى الله عنها ـ قاَلتْ قاَل رَسوُل اَّلِلّ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا أنفقتِ اْلمَرأة مِنْ طَعَامِ بيتَِها غَيْرَ مفسَِدةٍ كاَن لَها أجْرَُها بِمَا أَْنفقتْ وَِلزَوْجها أَجْرُُه بِمَا كسَبَ، وَِلْلخَازِنِ
مِثلُ ذَِلكَ، لَا ينْقصُ بعْضُُهمْ أَجْرَ بعٍْض شَيئا

22. Giving charity without the husband’s permission

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet ()ﷺ said, “If a woman gives something (i.e. in charity) from her husband’s earnings without his permission, she will get half his reward.” Sahih al-Bukhari 2066

عَنْ همَّامٍ، قاَل سَمِعْتُ أبا هرَْيرََة ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قاَل إِذَا أَْنفقتِ اْلمرْأَُة مِنْ كسْبِ زَوْجها عَنْ غَيرِ أمرِهِ، فََله نِصفُ أجرِهِ

23. A woman’s prayer is better in her house and best in her private chamber

“Abd Allah (b. Mas’ud) reported the prophet (ﷺ) as saying; it is more excellent for a woman to pray in her house than in her courtyard, and more excellent for her to pray in her private chamber than in her house.
Sahih (Al-Albani)
SunanAbiDawud 570

عَنْ عَبد اَّلِلّ، عَنِ النَّبِيِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قال صَلاة اْلمَرْأةِ فِي بيتَِها أفضَلُ مِنْ صَلَاتَِها فِي حجرَتَِها وَصَلَاُتَها فِي مخَْدعَِها أفضَلُ مِنْ صَلَاتَِها فِي بيْتَِها

To be continued…

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Mental health is described by WHO (2001) as: “… a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”

In Islam however, there is another addition to the definition. Positive mental health is also related to spirituality, piety and submission to the Almighty.

Allah (S.W.) clearly states in the Qur’an, in Surat Taha, verse 124:

“And whoever turns away from My remembrance-indeed, he will have a depressed (i.e. difficult) life, and We will gather (raise) him on the day of Resurrection blind.”

Thus, when we look into positive mental health, we’d say the first indicator of it is by looking at one’s relationship with God. Do you believe? Do you pray? Do you obey? Allah (S.W) promised to test us with different kinds of worldly tragedies, and within these difficult times, many people give up on God and on life and some entirely become atheists. They forget that life is but a test. So long as a human being keeps reminding themselves that the dunya is but a test and stick to the way of Islam, then Allah (S.W) will definitely grant them ease and strength to keep believing.

Utz (2011) states about the tranquil soul in her book ‘Psychology from an Islamic perspective’ and I quote:

“As sincere faith becomes strong in a person’s heart, the proclivity to evil within the soul becomes weak. The soul becomes completely dominated by inclinations towards piety and righteousness. It loves and desires goodness and detests evil deeds, so it rarely (if ever) responds to or complies with the urges to commit evil deeds. This is the level of the tranquil soul.

(To the righteous it will be said: “O reassured soul, return to your Lord, well-pleased and pleasing to Him. And enter among My righteous servants. And enter My paradise.”)

Goodness dominates, so the soul feels a sense of tranquillity and peace. These souls are obedient to Allah subhanahu wataala and pleased with what He has decreed, relying upon Him alone in all matters. Through this strong connection with the Creator, they calm their desires and passions, and they require little effort to repel evil inclinations. These individuals are in essence fulfilling the purpose of their creation, which is the worship and obedience of Allah. This is a level that is possible to achieve in this life, and it provides the believers with a taste of the joys awaiting them in the hereafter.”

This leads us into another indicator of positive mental health i.e. Acceptance of Allah’s Decree and relying upon Allah alone. One thus knows without a doubt that everything in life has been destined and as much as they can make choices in life, they don’t have total control over what happens. One does their best and prays for the best, believing that Allah (S.W.) will never forsake them. With such mentality, one isn’t unnecessarily overwhelmed, anxious and worried about the future nor are they stuck on the past that is already gone. This reflected in a hadith by Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) said:

“One day, I was riding behind the Prophet (ﷺ) when he said, “O boy! I will instruct you in some matters. Be watchful of Allah (Commandments of Allah), He will preserve you. Safeguard His Rights, He will be ever with you. If you beg, beg of Him Alone; and if you need assistance, supplicate to Allah Alone for help. And remember that if all the people gather to benefit you, they will not be able to benefit you except that which Allah had foreordained (for you); and if all of them gather to do harm to you, they will not be able to afflict you with anything other than that which Allah had pre-destined against you. The pens had been lifted and the ink had dried up”. [At- Tirmidhi].

In another hadith, the prophet peace be upon him said, “Amazing is the affair of the believer. This is because there is good for him in every matter and this is not the case with anyone other than the believer. When he is in a state of happiness, he is thankful to Allah, and within that is good for him, and if he is harmed, then he keeps to being patient and thus there is good for him in that.”

This in turn, also makes one resilient such that, whenever a tragedy befalls them, they don’t allow the situation to break them. They adjust to whatever changes that come by and soldier on.

The prophet (p.b.u.h) as our guide, he led us to the path of purification of the soul, self-control and balance. And when one inclines to this path, they feel no distress within themselves. Good mental state can be achieved by avoiding negative attributes like anger, greed, envy and so on.

This means that a person with positive mental health is known to have good virtues such as kindness, forgiveness, compassion and humility which in fact improve one’s quality of life. The prophet (p.b.u.h) said for example that whoever is deprived of kindness then they have been deprived all that is good. And truly, when we think of it, what is the world without kindness?

Gratitude is another important virtue and an indicator as well. When one is thankful, they tend to be more optimistic and more positive towards life, others and even themselves. Studies prove that expressing gratitude improves ones sense of wellbeing and that it makes people be more open, less neurotic and more agreeable. (McCullough et al., 2002)

Apart from that, more positive outcomes have been identified in practicing gratitude as per psychology research. One of the benefits of gratitude is that it can reduce levels of stress. (Krause, 2006) and that it can also decrease the levels of depression and anxiety. (Kashdan & Breen, 2007)

In a study done by Seligman, Steen and Peterson (2005), the participants were given one week to write and deliver in person, a letter of gratitude to someone who had shown special kindness to them that they hadn’t thanked properly. The results showed that participants who took part in the letter-writing reported more happiness for one month after the exercise compared to a control group.

Algoe et al. (2010) asked sixty-seven couples to keep a diary for two weeks and record their own and their partner’s thoughtful actions, the relationship well-being and their emotions. By connecting the data of the couple, they were able to see whether a thoughtful action of the participant was recognized by the partner and whether they acknowledged the action accordingly. They found that a partner’s thoughtful action predicted an increase in feelings of gratitude and indebtedness.

When we thank Allah and others for the good in our life, we avoid focusing on the bad things that happened to us, and thus have a more positive outlook and mental being. Allah (S.W.) says in Surat Ibrahim, verse 7: “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you in favour.”

We can deny it all we want but many research has proved that our spirituality does have an impact on mental health. And more than that, Allah (S.W.) already informed us of that, centuries ago. For us to acquire the peaceful life we desire, we need to embrace the good virtues and follow the prophet (p.b.u.h) for he is the best example and role model.

REFERENCES
1. Algoe, S. B., Gable, S. L. & Maisel, N. C. (2010). It’s the little things: Everyday gratitude as a booster shot for romantic relationships. Personal Relationships.
2. Kashdan, T.B., Breen, W.L. (2007). Materialism and diminished well-being: Experiential avoidance as a mediating mechanism. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
3. Krause, N. (2006). Gratitude toward god, stress, and health in late life. Research on Aging.
4. McCullough, M. E., Tsang, J. -A., & Emmons, R. A. (2004). Gratitude in intermediate affective terrain: Links of grateful moods to individual differences and daily emotional experience. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
5. Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. T., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist.
6. Utz, A. (2011). Psychology from the Islamic Perspective. Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. International Islamic Publishing House.
7. WHO. (2001). The world health report 2001. Mental health: New understanding. New hope. Geneva, World Health Organization.
8. Qur’an. Retrieved from https://quran.com

You can read part 3 of this series by clicking the link: http://lubnah.me.ke/the-greatness-of-prophet-muhammad-p-b-u-h-pt-3/

HIS WORSHIP

If we knew for sure that we will go to jannah, if we knew for sure that all our sins are forgiven, that Allah (S.W.) is pleased with us and that our place in heaven is ready for us, would we bother to worship Allah? Would we still strive to be better worshippers, better believers? Or would we just relax and wait for our time of death to come?

The prophet (p.b.u.h) was granted forgiveness and promised jannah while still alive, yet he did a lot of ibaadah and got close to Allah (S.W.) more than any other human being.

Even before prophethood, Muhammad (p.b.u.h) would seclude himself so as to worship one Lord and avoid idolatry as his people.

According to Al Bukhari and I quote: “The commencement of the divine inspiration to the Messenger of Allah was in the form of good dreams which came true like bright day light, and then the love of seclusion was bestowed on him. He used to go in seclusion in the Cave of Hira’ where he used to worship [Allah alone] continuously for many days before he would desire to see his family. He used to take with him the journey food for the stay and then come back to [his wife] Khadija to take food for another stay, until suddenly the Truth descended upon him while he was in the Cave of Hira’. The angel came to him and asked him to read. The Prophet replied, “I do not know how to read.” The Prophet added, “The angel caught me [forcefully] and pressed me so hard that I could not bear it any more. He then released me and again asked me to read and I replied, ‘I do not know how to read.’ So he caught me again and pressed me a second time till I could not bear it any more. He then released me and again asked me to read but again I replied, ‘I do not know how to read.’ So he caught me for the third time and pressed me, and then released me and said: 

Read in the name of your Lord who created (96.1). He created man from a clot (96.2). Read and your Lord is most honorable (96.3) who teaches by the pen (96.4). He taught man what he did not know (96.5).”

The worshipping habits of the Rasul (S.A.W) is definitely something we should emulate and follow. Here are some of his worship habits:

  • Al-Mughirah ibn Shu’bah reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, would pray until his feet were swollen. It was said, “Why do you do this when Allah has forgiven your past and future sins?” The Prophet said, “Shall I not be a grateful servant?” (Muslim)

 

  • Narrated ‘Alqama: I asked `Aisha, mother of the believers, “O mother of the believers! How were the deeds of the Prophet? Did he use to do extra deeds of worship on special days?” She said, “No, but his deeds were regular and constant, and who among you is able to do what the Prophet (ﷺ) was able to do (i.e. in worshipping Allah)?” (Bukhari)

 

  • Narrated ‘Aisha: Allah’s Apostle used to offer eleven Rakat and that was his prayer. He used to prolong the prostration to such an extent that one could recite fifty verses (of the Quran) before he would lift his head. He used to pray two Rakat (Sunna) before the Fajr prayer and then used to lie down on his right side till the call-maker came and informed him about the prayer. (Bukhari)

 

  • Narrated Aisha: With the start of the last ten days of Ramadan, the Prophet (ﷺ) used to tighten his waist belt (i.e. work hard) and used to pray all the night, and used to keep his family awake for the prayers. (Bukhari)

 

  • It was narrated that ‘Aishah said: “The Prophet used to bring his head close to me when I was menstruaring and he was in I’tikaf (seclusion in a mosques for the purpose of worship), and I would wash it and comb his hair.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)

 

  • Narrated Anas bin Malik: Sometimes Allah’s Apostle would not fast (for so many days) that we thought that he would not fast that month and he sometimes used to fast (for so many days) that we thought he would not leave fasting through-out that month and (as regards his prayer and sleep at night), if you wanted to see him praying at night, you could see him praying and if you wanted to see him sleeping, you could see him sleeping.(Bukhari)

 

  • Narrated ‘Aisha: The Prophet was never more regular and particular in offering any Nawafil than the two Rakat (Sunna) of the Fajr prayer. (Bukhari)

 

  • It was narrated that ‘Aishah said the Messenger of Allah would come and say: “Do you have any food for breakfast?” and we would say no, so he would say: “I am fasting.” One day he came to us and we had been given some Hais. He said: “Do you have anything (to eat)?” and we said: “Yes, we have been given some Hais.” He said: “I started the day wanting to fast,” but then he ate. (Sunan an-Nasa’i)

 

  • Narrated by Abu Huraira:”The Prophet used to perform Itikaf every year in the month of Ramadan for ten days, and when it was the year of his death, he stayed in Itikaf for twenty days.”(Bukhari)

 

  • Aisha mentions that: “The Prophet one night stood up for Salah and he stayed in it for so long that I thought the Prophet had passed away or died. When I felt that way I stood up shook his toe and I felt the movement then I laid down again and I heard the Prophet saying in Sajdah “I seek refuge in Your pleasure from Your wrath, and in Your pardon from Your punishment, and in You from You. I cannot enumerate Your praises as You praise Yourself.” (Transliteration: Audhu bi ridaka min sakhatika, wa bi muafatika min uqubatika wa bika minka, la uhsiy thana’an alayka, anta kama athnayta ala nafsika).

When he stood up from the Sajdah he asked Aisha, “do you think God’s Prophet has betrayed you?” Aisha responded “No Prophet of God, because of the long Sajdah I thought you had died.” (Hadith from Baihaqi)

 

PROPHET’S DA’AWAH CONSISTED OF:

  1. Calling to the religion of Islam
  2. Calling to tawheed (Oneness of Allah) and Imaan in Allah (S.W.)
  3. Standing firm to the word of God
  4. Enjoining good and forbidding evil
  5. Showing exemplary manners and good behaviour.

 

STYLES OF DOING DA’AWAH

  1. Individual approaches:

The prophet peace be upon him would talk, discuss and call individuals to Islam at the market, on the way, and at any opportunity he got. It is said that he went to visit Abu Jahl 70 times to call him to the true religion.

  1. Group Da’wah

The prophet peace be upon him would sometimes bring together several people at Jabal Abi Qays and inform them of the word of Allah (S.W)

  1. Making promises:

Promises give us hope of what’s to come and make us anticipate the future and all it holds. The prophet peace be upon him having being known as the honest and truthful one, no one used to doubt his words. Therefore, Muhammad peace be upon him would give glad tidings to encourage people to embrace Islam or to increase their imaan.

“During the Hijra (migration from Makkah to Madina), the Prophet (pbuh) met Abu Bakr at his house, and they both traveled to a nearby cave, the Jabal Thur. When the quraysh realized that the Prophet had evaded them, they were furious. They looked for him everywhere and on all roads; they also offered a reward of 100 she-camels for anybody who would bring them the Prophet, dead or alive.

Motivated by the large reward, one of the best trackers in Mecca, Suraqa Ibn Malik, went riding on his horse looking for the Prophet (pbuh) every which way until he found him. Dressed in his armor and sword, Suraqa attempted to kill the Prophet but as soon as he would approach him, his horse would sink into the sand and not budge. He tried several times and when he realized it was a miracle, he said: “Oh Muhammad I know that your religion will spread and that your stance shall rise. Promise me that when you have the upper hand and are in power you will treat me well. I would like you to give me this promise in writing.”

The Prophet ordered Abu Bakr to give him the promise in writing and asked Suraqa to mislead the enemy away from the Prophets hiding place. The Prophet (pbuh) also said: “How would you feel, O Suraqa, when you wear the bracelets of Kisra (the King of Persia at the time Persia)?” There was only one Kisra and everyone knew who this was, but this statement was so shocking that Suraqa ibn Malik had to clarify again: “Kisra!?” The Prophet (saws) said “Yes, Kisra the son of Hermuz.”

These Bracelets were very famous, the equivalent to the Crown Jewels in our days. They were worn by the Persian Kings, who would simply rest their hands in them as a show of power. For a man who was fleeing persecution and on the brink of assassination, this promise seemed hardly possible. Thereafter; Suraqa retreated, and the Prophet proceeded towards Madinah. This was Hijrah, the emigration – a small distance in space, a mighty leap in history, an event that was to become a threshold in the shaping of the Islamic Ummah.

Several years later, Suraqa converted to the religion of Islam and came to Medinah where the Prophet resided. Years passed, and life went on. It was during the Caliphite of ‘Umar Ibn Al Khattab, Suraqa joined the army which later prevailed over the Persians in the battle of Qadisiyya and the booty was brought to Medinah. Among them, was the crown of Kisra, his clothes sewn out of gold thread, his scarf adorned with precious jewels, and his bracelets like which nobody had ever seen before. ‘Umar shouted: “Where is Suraqa Ibn Malik?” So he came and wore the bracelets of Kisra. He walked around with them proudly, tears flooding from his eyes, saying: “Behold, the honest and the trustworthy Muhammad (pbuh) has told the truth after 20 years. He has kept his promise.” ‘Umar then raised his head to the heavens above and said: “Oh Allah, You did not reward this wealth to your Prophet, and he was closer to You and loved by You more than I, neither did You reward this wealth to Abu Bakr and he was closer to You and loved by You more than I, and You gave it to me. I seek refuge from You in what You have given me and hope that this is not a test from You in which I fail.” [imedbham.webs.com. Reference used: “100 Stories from the Life of ‘Umar Ibn Al Khattab” by Muhammad Sedeeq Al Minshawi]

  1. Having discussions and debates

The prophet used to have stimulating conversations, discussions and debates as a way of teaching and imparting knowledge to both muslims and non-muslims. The prophet (s.a.w) once had a conversation with one of the non-muslims. The prophet asked him how many gods he believed in and the qureishi answered that he believed in six gods. The prophet asked him where the gods were and the qureishi answered that five of the gods were in earth and one is in the heavens. The prophet asked the qureishi which god he depended on most when he had difficulties and the qureishi answered that he depended on the one that is in the heavens. The prophet of Allah thus told him that he should then only worship the God that is in the heavens and leave the rest. This was a way of awakening the qureishi and a way of imparting knowledge such that a person could come to self-realization.

  1. Showing kindness

Kindness is the language that all humankind understands and appreciates. What better way to show how beautiful our religion Islam is than to be kind to the people? Muhammad peace be upon him was the most kind human being and naturally, people were drawn to him for that.

Anas bin Malik, radi Allahu ‘anhu, narrated, “The Messenger of Allah was never asked for a thing by one who may be about to accept Islam, except that he would give it. A man came to the Prophet, who gave him a herd of sheep filling an area between two mountains. When that man returned to his people, he said to them: ‘O my people! Embrace Islam. Muhammad gives, like one who has no fear of poverty.’”

Anas, radi Allahu ‘anhu, said the person initially embraced Islam for the sake of the world, but later Islam became dearer to him than the world and what it contains. (Muslim)

P.S I am not a scholar and this is my little effort in spreading the knowledge therefore in case of any mistake/correction/addition needed in this article about the prophet (p.b.u.h) and his life, kindly email me at: info@lubnah.me.ke.

***

Assalam aleykum,

I hope you are in good health and state of Imaan. A lady by the name of Nuru Salim is suffering from endometriosis which makes it extremely painful for her. She desperately needs an operation in India of which needs about 500,000/= kenyan shillings. We are currently at 41,946/=  and still very far away from the target…but wallahy we can do this. If we all share the message as much as possible and give whatever we can then we can achieve this biidhnillah. Every coin goes a long way and every share of this message will be really helpful. May you be rewarded for any effort you put into this. Ameen.

To contribute Mpesa: 0700892829 (Said Salim)

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God and I, we used to be such good friends. God, don’t I miss that friendship! There was no rush of leaving the prayer mat after praying. I’d stay there and just talk to Him, you know? Maybe because I was lonely. And it was such a comfortable safe space to slide into. I could cry, laugh and say all I wanted to say that my anxiety wouldn’t otherwise let me. Or maybe because of the way people judged me a little too harshly. I had always been recognized as the religious one. Why? I didn’t shake hands with men. Or maybe because I did all my sunnahs like they were compulsory. Or my sujoods were noticeably longer. And I wasn’t even trying. That was my comfortable zone. I remember leaving school earlier on Fridays just so I could go to a distant mosque where nobody recognized me so I could have alone time with God. It was beautiful.

Update 1: I prefer hugs to handshakes now 🙁
Update 2: Where did y’all religious friends go?
Update 3: I’m doing compulsories like they’re sunnahs now.
Update 4: Refer to update 3

Thing with friendships though, you don’t realize when they’re breaking. It’s so gradual and smooth before you know it you’re the friend that people are coming to for good music. The religious friends are spending less and less time with you. You’re spending your nights in clubs. And then one day after so many days you’ll find yourself in a dirty pitch in your room or on your way to work wondering, “How? How did I become this person? How did I get here? I just want to go home.”

So yeah, I’m not in a very good place with God now. And that hurts me. I’d be in Jamia mosque praying and look at people who look so engrossed in their own prayers and duas with Allah and i’ll feel so much envy and pain and a

“That used to be you” Must be the devil hat whispers with his tongue out.

Like there was this girl in a red Hijab once. She was at the very first line. Flawless skin and such a beautiful hearty and warm smile. I imagined she woke up in the depths of the night to pray. The way I used to. The way I want to.

Sometimes, I’m reminded of God in the most bizarre and unexpected way or place. Take for example this friend. Said friend isn’t Muslim. Said friend asks me, “How are you and God, love?”
That has stuck with me for so long since it happened. I wish we had such honest conversations more often. Or this time I’m watching a play, in the form of contemporary dance, about a group of people escaping their homeland because of war, and so they’re fleeing to safer grounds. I remember sitting there alone, telling myself, it’s time to start that journey. Go back home, darling.

Thing is, it’s such a big place. When you’re being pressured into stuff, you can not remember anything like peer pressure. You’re not even doing it to be cool for anyone. You tell yourself that you’re doing it in the spirit of being ‘adventurous’. And really, maybe you are. Because, the world our parents think we live in and the world we actually live in, it’s mars and venus. Two totally different realities. And people are busy. Everyone is going on with their business and here you are, taking whatever path you deem right. Which to be honest, I don’t really have a problem with. Only thing is, ‘Is there room for my faith and God in this?’ Most times that answer is no. And almost all those times, you’ll go ahead with whatever it is.

I haven’t been to a club. I haven’t taken alcohol. Alhamdullillah. But I have seen how weak I can get, and I don’t know when that day will come. I have close friends that I have seen traverse the ‘halal-strict-hijabi’ life to the party all night, ‘take buibui off in the corner close to home’ life. And yes, they are STILL my friends. Because a part of me gets them. A very big part of me gets them. And then there’s this part that’s hanging on to whatever trail that’s left of my friendship with God. That i’m holding on to with my dear life.

There’s that voice again.
“Go back home, darling.”

Yours truly,
Your Favourite Stranger 🙂


P.S: You can read more of her pieces on her blog: https://www.favouritestranger.com/

Photo Courtesy: MTY Organization

Hey Amedo,

Assalam aleikum,

I would have said Ahmed but then who recognizes you with that name anymore? Haha, you are all grown Mashallah. I hope that’s how it is spelt? The Mashallah I mean and the assalam aleikum up there…haha what do I know anyway? I’m just this old pal from upcountry living in Mombasa. I remember hearing your parents use such phrases so many times…ah, your parents. I miss them, you know that? I wish they could see how grown and smart you are right now. Your parents and I, we had this special kind of relationship. I bet you wouldn’t remember much though. You were just eight when that unfortunate accident happened right? *Sigh*

When I first came to Mombasa twenty years ago, I remember how warmly I was received by your parents into this neighbourhood. I still remember your dad, tall and lean, with such a loud laughter, welcoming me like I was a long-lost brother. Your mother, on the other hand, prepared dinner for both me and my wife that night. “I bet you are tired,” she said in her shy voice. I was a bit puzzled with the reception. We were different people, different tribes, different cultures, different religions…what could have made them so comfortable to bond with us immediately? My wife was a bit suspicious at first. You know, we had heard of rumours about the Mombasa genies and how witchcraft is so common and human sacrifices are made to become ‘viti’. Well, we never even understood what those viti were. As far as we knew it, viti are chairs. Nonetheless, my wife, she was a bit worried at first. But then by the next three to four months, we had interacted with almost the entire neighbourhood. We came to learn that this is just how Mombasa is. Warm and lovely; feels like home. It is why we decided to remain here longer. We decided, this is the best place to raise our children.

After your parents passed away in the accident, your divorced aunt moved in to take care of you and your younger siblings. Your aunt was another very lovely lady. She is charming and full of life; the kind to hear her voice sweeping the compound as she sang famous taarab songs. She is the one who taught my wife how to cook biriani and pilau and all these tasty coasterian foods. I never get enough of these foods.

It was all going well for us until Timmy died. You remember Timmy don’t you? Sometimes I see you walk by my home and I yearn to talk to you, ask you if you remember him, if you remember how you two used to play football together, or how you used to stay up late playing PS until your dad would come force you out of our homestead. If you remember that your birthdays were only two weeks apart and that today, he would be 22 years old like you are. Perhaps that would lessen how much I miss him. But then every time I want to start up a conversation, I see the lines form on your forehead. I see how quick you respond just so as you can leave, how bothered you seem by just calling out your name. I never understand it. Maybe it’s my age; old folk what does he want? Or maybe my skin colour or maybe you just don’t recognize me anymore. Maybe…the maybe’s are endless.

Timmy…my only son, my lovely boy, died ten years ago. Both of you were just twelve years old. My son, he was killed. Do you remember? Do you remember the shrieks of pain? The screams? The tear gas, the fear, the stones, the chaos? Do you remember the 2007 post-election violence? You were young but you couldn’t forget how Timmy died right? Your best friend, your brother from another mother, could you? There was too much smoke, wails, angry protests and there we were, caught up right at the middle of it all. Our neighbourhood had always been peaceful, serene…what was happening now? How could everyone forget our brotherhood so fast? We were among the few “outcasts” in the compound. After more than ten years in Mombasa, we suddenly became “outcasts” because our skin colour was darker, our mother-tongue accent betrayed us and our features were clearly “not of here” and that was enough reason to have knives stabbed into our bodies. Because of my origin, my vote automatically meant someone and some party, and at that point, my tribe betrayed me, betrayed us all. We were robbed and deeply injured that night…but one more thing, we lost our son.

It took me three months to heal my wounds and my wife’s’ but we still have one wound that will always remain a wound; unhealed and it just has one word, Timmy. Your aunt has been there for us, all this time, for better for worse, just like we stood by her side whenever she couldn’t afford some bread to feed you all. But you worry me. You my son, worry me.

I see how opinionated you’ve become. How strong and firm you are. It is good. But yet it could be dangerous. I see you sit with your mates barazani, I see the fury in your eyes, the anger in your tone. I see you young men discuss politics like this is a battle field and you want to win at whatever cost. I see you argue, I see the clenched fists and the tribalistic insults. I see how your friends look at me, how they purposely shout out “Kila mtu arudi kwao” when I pass by. I see how you all are invested so much in politics you forget you are supposed to be friends. I see how some of you have stopped talking to each other because “he is pro-someone” and you are “anti-them”. I see how much belief and trust you have kept towards these politicians.

I know it is your right to have an opinion, to vote and to be politically affiliated. Yet I want to remind you my son, when your parents died, I was the one who came to your home and took you for the next few nights, I want to remind you that Timmy was your friend despite me and your parents having different cultures and political opinions. I want to remind you that when we were stabbed, it was your aunt who washed off the blood in our house. That she was the one who nursed our wounds like she was paid for it.

I want to remind you, that during those ugly, dark moments it wasn’t my favourite politician who stood by me, by us. It wasn’t my tribe, or my mother-tongue accent that helped me through those difficult times. It wasn’t your favourite politician either. It was you and your people. It was my neighbours, my friends, my associations who have totally different opinions from mine. But we knew that friendship or any other form of relationship should never be sold for the sake of dirty politics. This game is too dirty. My son, I see how you and your friends are too aggressive in this whole politics business, remember, the game is too dirty, too cheap for your hands.

I am so proud of who you are, what you’ve become; an educated focused man who wants change. I guess we all need the change, don’t we? Just never forget that no change comes from animosity, rivalry, hatred or stubbornness. Remember that for better for worse, none of the politicians will be at your doorstep to help you with your personal problems other than your personal friends and relations. I need you to never forget the humanity joining us; these small joyful moments we have shared between us all; as neighbours, as brothers, as co-existing human beings, as people of the Coast, whether by nature or nurture, as people of Kenya. Never forget that we are naturally bonded as humans before politics ever divide us.

This coming election, my son, remember my words. Remember that chaos will never beget change. That your voice in the call of peace is important and necessary. Remember to hold your friends close together, in unity and preach to them peace like you preach politics and politicians. Remember my son, no more bloodshed, no more Timmy’s, no more crying over spilled milk. Let’s all hold hands and pray for peace and unity. Remember we are One Kenya, One people. This elections, as you cast your vote (or not), remember peace, peace, peace!! May God protect us all. God bless Kenya!

Your next door neighbour,
Baba Timmy.


 

Photo Courtesy: https://youth4developmentkenya.files.wordpress.com

What is more interesting than standing together for Kenya that is united by all means? What is more interesting than a walk that preaches for peace and propagates for unity of all? The Dumisha Amani Peace Walk is a walk organized by MTY organization in conjunction to both MUHURI and Manyunyu community. It will bring together more than 200 youth to propagate the message of peace and unity. The peace walk shall start at treasury square and it will also entail performances by artists, holding hands pledges, peace mascots, security, media coverage and lots of fun, love and unity. Not signed up yet, text 0705 586 076. CHAGUA AMANI!!

 

 

Photo Courtesy: Unknown

Of Blame Games
Stop. Let’s stop right there. Let’s have a moment of silence. Let’s take a moment to understand what is happening before pointing fingers or saying what’s wrong or right. A young man was killed by the mob; a wanted young man, part of a gang, and his mates now want revenge. But that isn’t the full story is it? There is a whole lot of things that have gotten us to where we are. One of which is the blame game.

Let’s stop because the too strong blame game will not bring any results. We need to critically look for a way forward soon and soon enough. We need answers not speculations. We need to come together not split further into antagonists and protagonists.

Of lost Youth, Drugs & Unemployment
What could have gone so wrong? Is it that we were raised in such a wrong way? Is it that our parents and leaders have failed us? Is it that we are too cool for planet earth? But no. We are all to blame. Parents, Teachers, Leaders, Peers…We have failed each other. We all have an equal role for we have brought ourselves down. Let’s not say there are no jobs. Let’s face it; jobs can be found. You just need to seriously look and TRY. Problem is, there are no jobs that we think we deserve. The problem is when we say, I have an education so I can’t, shouldn’t and wouldn’t ever be a shopkeeper or a tailor or anything else that appears minor in our eyes. Let’s accept that our youth have gotten the wrong idea of life and success. Let’s accept that this is the generation that watches macho violent movies and we forget those are but fiction that we forget the part ‘Don’t try this at home’. This is the generation that is sooo obsessed with ‘Being Someone’ such that any way to get to that is good enough. Drugs that are easily found by teenagers, how does that happen under our noses? How are we training our young ones to be steadfast and upright in such a century? How are we being role models to the youth such that they can be something in this life without harming others? Allah (S.W) says in Surat Ra’d: Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. Can we be the change first?

Of Tearful Mothers and Hurt Fathers
We can all agree on this; No parent ever wants to see their children lose their way, being in the wanted list or harming other people (Not unless the parent/s themselves are involved) So let’s not be too quick to say, ‘How did his/her parents let him become a goon like that? It must be that they were negligent.’ Okay maybe they are negligent. Maybe they failed at some point in their parenting. Yes maybe they should have brought forward their spoiled child for rehabilitation or for justice. Maybe they should have tried harder…but who are we to criticize when we haven’t even heard their side of story. How can we ever know how much they battled and wept for the children or they still do? Perhaps they also had some little hope for them to reform, maybe they didn’t want to give up praying just yet.

Let’s take a moment to reflect on what happened with Nabii Nuh when he was asked by Allah (S.W) to ask all the believers to leave with him on the ship as from the qur’an.: “And [Noah] said, “Embark therein; in the name of Allah is its course and its anchorage. Indeed, my Lord is Forgiving and Merciful.

And it sailed with them through waves like mountains, and Noah called to his son who was apart [from them], “O my son, come aboard with us and be not with the disbelievers.”

[But] he said, “I will take refuge on a mountain to protect me from the water.” [Noah] said, “There is no protector today from the decree of Allah , except for whom He gives mercy.” And the waves came between them, and he was among the drowned.

And the story goes on and he says:
“And Noah called to his Lord and said, “My Lord, indeed my son is of my family; and indeed, Your promise is true; and You are the most just of judges!”

He said, “O Noah, indeed he is not of your family; indeed, he is [one whose] work was other than righteous, so ask Me not for that about which you have no knowledge. Indeed, I advise you, lest you be among the ignorant.” (Ch 11:41-48 Quran)

Does that mean that Nabii Nuh failed as a parent? No. Or when Qabil killed Habil, did that make Adam (A.S) a bad parent? Some children are but tests to their parents and as much as some have contributed to their children’s ugly behaviours, some are nothing but helpless souls. We should be encouraging them to bring out their children for rehab instead of throwing off words to judge their parenting. We should join them in prayers for today it might be their child tomorrow might be yours. Yes, life is that scary.

Of misplaced priorities
Where is all our concentration? No, let’s be honest. What have we given our priority to? Hasn’t it been politics and what which politician did what or arguing over who is a better candidate? Hasn’t it always been on petty issues like what day was ‘real Eid’? Haven’t we put too much energy debating and roasting one another online over ridiculous issues like who holds a fake account and whose wife was seen where? For how long have these gangs been harassing different communities? Long enough to bring about call to action. I won’t discredit the efforts of some individuals and few leaders who’ve tried taming the situation but this should be something we all come together for; not with too much anger and remorse, but with wisdom, prayers and smart strategies.

Of unethical images and their widespread
Please people, it is wrong. It is so very wrong to publicly share photos of a dead individual especially when it shows his/her face or that makes him identifiable. It doesn’t matter if someone was a thief, a goon or a ninja assassin because when one dies, they just become a body. Those widespread photos won’t hurt him, but will hurt his loved ones who probably have no involvement in his/her actions. It is disturbing that you share those images even when you put a huge disclaimer that the photos are disturbing. I mean why are we so hungry to be the ones to spread some news? Please adapt the golden rule which says, ‘Do unto others as you would have done unto you’. Now maybe you are not a thief or a goon on the wanted list, but I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want such disturbing photos of your brother or friend or even someone you know being spread after they die or killed or suicide or during an accident…whichever the case is. Give the dead their privacy and respect. Their judgement is now upon the Most High.

Of second chances
I’m just trying to imagine, what if one of the gang members really wants to surrender right now?? But then there is the wrath of the people awaiting him. Would he really surrender? Should he? Would you, if you were in his shoes? We say we really want to help our young ones and children, but are we ready to give them second chances? Can we accept them back and forgive them? Perhaps they need reassurance. Maybe not all, but even if one is ready to repent then that’s a win for a community.

Remember the story of Ghawrath bin al-Harith. When the Prophet received word that some of the tribes of Ghatafan were mobilizing an attack on Madinah, so he undertook a small expedition toward their territory but they fled before the Muslims arrival.

However, while the Prophet was resting under a tree, an enemy warrior by the name of Ghawrath ibn al-Harith, who had pledged to assassinate the Prophet, quietly took the Prophet’s sword as he slept and suddenly declared, “O Muhammad, who will save you from me?” The Prophet awoke and simply replied, “Allah.” Ghawrath inexplicably dropped the sword and the Prophet picked it up and asked, “Now, who will save you from me?”

Ghawrath was astonished and pleaded, “Be the better victor!”
The Prophet Muhammad forgave him. He asked Ghawrath whether he believed in the truth of Islam and Ghawrath replied, “No, but I promise not to fight you or aid those who fight you.” The Prophet let Ghawrath return to his tribe, whereupon Ghawrath said, “Verily, I have come from the best of people.” (Mustadarak al-Hakim, Sunan al-Bayhaqi, and Ibn Kathir in al-Bidayah wal-Nihayah). Food for thought.

Perhaps there is too much bitterness right now; of harmed individuals and robbed people. There are also revenge plots looming, God have mercy on us…
It is understandable why people would choose mob justice any time, but can we come together to sincerely help them, forgive them? Can we come together to make a special prayer for our lost youth? Can someone who knows how to go about this, arrange please? I mean, last time we had drought we came together to pray asking for rain alhamdulilah, why not do it again, for our brothers and children and future generations too? After all, it is only Allah who can grant guidance to people. Why can’t we have these many sheikhs come together with our leaders and parents for prayers and for a way forward?? To ensure that those who need rehabilitation are taken there?

May Allah guide us and our young ones and our children and protect us from all evil and bloodshed. Let us remember to pray for ourselves and our cities and communities frequently. Ameen.

 

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