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Deen (Religion)

ALLAH’S REDIRECTION

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Four years ago, a friend texted me. She was frustrated. Angry. Disappointed. She was beyond crushed that Allah had not responded to her desperate dua, despite her efforts, despite going out of her way, despite begging Allah. She had done all that is in the books. She had fulfilled her daily prayers, she had woken for tahajjud every single night, she had opened her heart bear and cried to Allah to fulfill just this one thing for her, yet He didn’t. Why would Allah let her down in this way?

Before you judge her reaction harshly, here is a bit of context. My friend had had the worst childhood you’ve probably heard of in real life. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological and perhaps some would even name what she’d gone through to be plain torture. That in turn, made her, in many many way, wounded and traumatized. She didn’t know affection or love or warmth nor did she know how to give it. She had a distant, somewhat cold, relationship with herself, her family, her children and by extension, Allah.

That wasn’t all of it. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and she extremely struggled with her self esteem, anxiety and depression.

And amidst all this madness as she calls it, there was only one person who knew how to ground her; her grandmother. The only person she felt seen, loved, appreciated. The only single person in the whole world who made this life a little bit bearable. While her entire journal would be about the voices in her head, the burden of this life, the only single beautiful thing she ever wrote about was her grandmother. And I don’t say this cause she just told me, I read those pieces (with her permission of course). Despite her claim of inability to love, it was clear that she could give her whole life to her grandmother. The only apparent light in her seemingly dark, dark life.

But during covid, her grandmother died. That was the first devastation.  Then the following year, she lost a baby. It was too painful. Too heavy. Too crashing.

The next time she was pregnant, she did what she wouldn’t normally do. Talk to Allah more intimately. Begging him for this one thing, and this one thing alone. She wanted a baby boy this time round. So she religiously woke up every single night asking Allah for a boy. She dedicated all her time and energy, getting closer to Allah, trying to mend whatever was left of it, so her dua could be accepted.

After a series of very difficult pregnancies, this became the only normal pregnancy she’d ever experienced. Yet when she gave birth, it was a girl once again. She was angry. disappointed. Crashed. She felt little connection to her and would sometimes wish she never had her. That lack of motherly affection was close to none.

She didn’t really have much care for this baby. Not really. But alas, there is always wisdom in everything that Allah gives us or denies us.

Despite having other daughters, this baby was a special one. She was charming. She was affectionate. She was smart. Simply adorable. And Somehow, just somehow, slowly she was able to draw her mother out of the darkness she’d been accustomed to. She became her best friend, the coolness of her eyes, her whole heart.

Against all odds, this baby that she once detested her existence became her anchor. The one who grounds her now. My friend speaks of how her baby reminds her of her grandmother so much. From her features to how she projects so much love towards her. It is like Allah replaced her grandmother with this cute baby who now keeps her grounded. Oh how fondly she talks of this girl. It is like she was sent just to save her from the darkness she lives in.

And all this has got me thinking of that quote that says, “Every perceived rejection is a redirection for the best.” Perhaps my friend thought if she only got a boy, her heart will be at peace, one that she desperately seeks. Yet, sometimes Allah withholds what we want so that we can get what we actually need, what would actually be the best for us.

Despite all her rough background and turbulent present, Allah still brings her someone to anchor her at each stage of her life.  If that isn’t Allah’s mercy on play subhanallah.

This in many ways reflects what The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

“I am amazed by the believer. Verily, Allah does not decree anything for the believer except what is good for him.”* (Musnad Ahmad 12495)

It’s truly moving to think that just four years ago, my friend would have struggled to believe that this baby—someone she found it difficult to accept—would grow to be her closest companion and play a significant role in healing her heart. Yet, here we are, witnessing a beautiful transformation. This little one has undeniably become her greatest gift, truly the light of her life. With each hug and embrace, she finds a deep sense of peace, and her worries seem to fade away. It’s so heartwarming to see how their bond brings out the best in each other, filling her with immense gratitude for this unexpected joy that has entered her life.

Dear Reader,

I want to take a moment to remind you that amidst the myriad challenges life presents, whether they come in the form of difficult trials or moments of doubt regarding unanswered prayers, and even in the sadness of loss, there is a profound truth that remains: Allah has a uniquely tailored plan for you. This divine plan may not always align with your hopes and desires, but it might just be what your heart and soul truly need for growth and healing.

As you navigate through life’s uncertainties, hold on to this empowering thought: “But it may be that you dislike something that is actually good for you, and it may be that you love something that is ultimately bad for you. Allah knows, while you do not.”

Reflect on the times when you faced disappointments that later revealed hidden blessings. Consider how moments that once felt like setbacks transformed into opportunities for personal growth, deeper understanding, or new paths that led you to unexpected joy. Embrace the presence of Allah’s wisdom as it gently guides you, even when the way ahead seems unclear.

Trust in this process and let yourself be open to the unfolding of Allah’s will in your life. Embrace it fully, knowing that every twist and turn serves a purpose beyond your immediate understanding. There is beauty in surrendering to the journey that Allah has laid out for you.

Most importantly, remember: It is not a rejection. It is but a beautiful redirection.

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Deen (Religion)

IN HIS WATCHFUL EYES

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One topic that deeply resonates with me is Qadar (fate). It’s truly fascinating to reflect on how Allah orchestrates our lives, reminding us of our own limitations and the unpredictability of our journeys. In moments when I find it difficult to comprehend Allah’s plans for me, especially when circumstances don’t align with my expectations, I often think back to a deep story I witnessed. It’s the story of a young believing woman, and her experiences are ones that many of us can relate to.

Imagine a 33-year-old woman living abroad with her parents in a big city. Her family cherished her deeply, but like many singles her age, she felt the weight of loneliness and societal pressure. At 33, it is often considered “old,” and the idea of an “expiration date” for finding a partner seemed more pronounced back then than it does now. Despite receiving many proposals since she was 18, none of them worked out for various reasons. Nevertheless, she remained steadfast in her trust in Allah’s divine plan.

When she turned 33 years old, she earnestly prayed for a spouse. Subhanallah, one night at 2 a.m., she poured her heart out to Allah about her desire for a partner. After her prayers, just after Fajr, her sister called to inform her that there were three proposals, subhanallah. A week before her engagement, she received another proposal. Fast forward, she got married at the age of 33 and moved to a rural area in a different country. It was a completely new life, filled with a different environment and culture far from home, but she embraced it with faith and excitement for her new journey.

Things took a sour turn soon after the wedding when her husband revealed that “his heart just couldn’t accept her,” despite her being a perfect wife and diligently fulfilling all her duties. Imagine the shock, heartbreak, confusion, and loneliness she felt—Subhanallah. Despite her deep efforts, prayers, and ruqya to improve her relationship with him, all was in vain as he ignored her and paid no attention to her at all.

Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala destined that she would become pregnant. In normal circumstances, this would have been an extremely joyous moment for the newlyweds. However, with an indifferent husband, there was little joy to be found. During those first two months, life was hell for the young woman. She had no idea how quickly and dramatically her circumstances had changed. However, this was not the end of her struggles. Allah tested her once more with an experience that every woman dreads: she had a miscarriage. As she mourned the loss of her unborn child and reflected on her troubled marriage, she returned to her family home. It was at that moment that her husband chose to end their marriage.

The lady was devastated. What would people say about a girl who got divorced after only two months of marriage? What would they think of her? They might assume that something must be very wrong with her. Who would want to marry someone like that again? She fell into despair. However, her family provided her with strong support, offering a shoulder to lean on and encouraging her to accept it as the qadar of Allah, reminding her that He knows best. Very slowly she healed. But the idea of marriage was totally deleted from her mind. For her, she felt like that was the end of her marriage chapter and that no one would accept her as a wife again.

Three years later, the lady visited her family. While there, she saw her sibling’s children and felt a deep yearning for motherhood and the warmth of having a family. That night, she returned to her prayer mat and cried out to Allah, asking for a new spouse—one who would be better than her ex-husband in every way. She only prayed that one night, not expecting anything to come of it. However, shortly after, there was a burial for a close uncle, and during the gathering, some ladies who were friends of her cousin, came to offer their condolences. They interacted briefly with her, and when they returned home, they spoke to a single man from their community about the lady they had met that day. Subhanallah, just one week later, a proposal came from the man, and she got married a month after that.

And Good Lord, the difference between her first and second husband was like heaven and earth. Subhanallah. She got the love, the respect, the friendship, the care that she prayed for for too long. She calls it a miracle and indeed it is one.

Whenever this story comes to mind I am in awe at how Allah meticulously plans our Affairs. And even when we don’t understand why things go the way they do, we gotta believe that He knows best. That He is merciful towards us even in the darkest of situations. For example, this young lady prayed istikhara in both cases of first and second husband. So her going through the first unhappy marriage was a test from Allah. And perhaps she needed to go through that experience, that pain, that heartbreak to be able to truly appreciate the huge blessing she is currently in. You bet that every time she thinks of her past and her present and sees the difference, she is moved by Allah’s mercy towards her. And her second marriage is both a blessing and a test. Will she be grateful for what Allah has bestowed upon her?

As human beings, we sometimes wonder why Allah doesn’t just grant us blessings from the start. Why does He test us first? No one can provide a definitive answer to this question, as
only Allah understands the divine secrets of life and the wisdom behind each stage we go through. We may think we are ready to handle the blessings Allah wants to bestow upon us,
but can we be sure? Perhaps through every loss, every moment of anguish, and every
lesson learned, we become wiser and grow into the best versions of ourselves, ultimately
preparing to receive those blessings.

As such, whatever pain you are going through right now, whether of marriage, wanting children, wanting a better job, or good health…do have yaqeen (firm belief) that you are exactly where Allah wants you to be. In Allah’s books, there is no delay, nor is there a rush. Everything has an appointed term. So does this hardship. It will not last forever. And Allah is in charge.

Additionally, we learn that there is always a reward for patience. Do you notice your poor health, loneliness, and poverty? Allah will compensate you for all of it. This may happen in a few weeks or even years, but it is a promise from Him. With every difficulty, there is ease. Even in the sad situation you find yourself in, He still cares for you in other ways. Never forget that and never despair. This is your reminder to slow down, to breathe, to have hope, and to believe without a doubt that there is calm after the storms.

Side Note: This is a reminder for our community to be considerate of one another. Let’s avoid being judgmental, shaming, or mocking those who are divorced, unmarried, or childless. In fact, we should simply avoid dwelling on what isn’t our business. We can never fully understand the challenges others have faced or are currently facing.

Beloved reader, as we conclude,  I want you to hold onto this verse. Keep it close to your heart. Memorize it if you can. Let this be your guiding light even in the darkest of nights: “So be patient with your Lord’s decree, for you are truly under Our ˹watchful˺ Eyes. And glorify the praises of your Lord when you rise.” (Qur’an 52:48) Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala is our guardian, caretaker, and handler of our affairs. Who else would you rather have to manage your affairs than Him?

“Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is keener for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of love for Allah and would have torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you, do not grieve. For it may be that Allah yearns to hear your voice by way of du’a. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know that verily Allah does not forget.” ― Ibn Al Qayyim.

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Creative Non-Fiction

MY OTHER HALF (PART 3)

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To read part 2, click on the following link: https://lubnah.me.ke/my-other-half-part-2/

Assalam aleykum warahmatu llah wabarakatuh 🙂

Had I known there would be a part 3, I would have written it last year in 2019, so that the gap between the letters are equal. The first was in 2015, then 2017, then now :/ The perfectionist me is a bit bothered by that. I also realized that I have the totally wrong title for this letter series. Should have been, ‘to my other 3/4’ because really, whom I’m kidding? I’m just a 1/4 human, so you gotta be 3/4 to complete me. You gotta be the bigger person. Huh, pun intended! 😀

Okay, wait. Let’s rewind a bit. CAN YOU BELIEVE WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC? It is crazy right?! I hope you are sane though? Hopefully coping okay with all that is happening? I am okay. Alhamdulilah 🙂 I was very alarmed at first. It was too overwhelming seeing everyone panicking and the too much misinformation wasn’t making it any easy. I am better now alhamdulilah. It is the empathetic side of me that is struggling more. There are a lot of emotions being laid out and I absorb everything like a sponge. This in turn makes me anxious sometimes. Anxious because now, people are too anxious. I’m used to being the most anxious person in the room 😀 But this too shall pass, aye?! I am just trying to avoid social media at the moment and too much news. Really hoping things only get better from here. Ameen.

I really hope you’re doing well though; catching dreams, flights and sunsets. I have grown since the last time I wrote to you; emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Physically? Not so much 😀 2020 especially started way too rough, but wasn’t it for everyone? Nonetheless, I’m still me. The same cry baby who wrote the first letter in 2015. I still watch murder documentaries and horror/thriller movies then ask one of my younger sisters to sleep with me because I’m too afraid. I still pace up and down for several minutes before taking a pill because pills give me anxiety of sorts. Sometimes I opt to take 4 tablespoons of baby liquid paracetamol than take the actual pills. I still go to my mum to comb my hair. I still cry when my friends forget about me or when someone raises their voice on me. I still cry in weddings, sometimes more than in funerals. Not the two tears of joy. I cry. Literally, sometimes until I get a flu. I am very weird. Very paradoxical. I am the most dumb & naive, smart person I know. I am also the strongest, most fragile person. Can you imagine I turned 26 today? I am literally a baby. Everyone knows that tears are my forte. My best friend Husna has said she’ll ensure that in my nikah contract I write ‘Don’t be mean to me’ and I want to add, ‘or else I’ll cry’ because really, that should scare you. It’s like dealing with a literal big baby. My other best friend Amina is betting that I’ll have no make up on my wedding not because I wouldn’t have applied but because I’d have cried way too much, people would think it is a forced marriage. You get the picture? 😀

But waiiiit!! About me being a literal baby, FLASH NEWS: I did not cry watching ‘Miracle in cell no 7’ (Watch it if you haven’t!) Can you believe that?!!! I’ve been telling it to everyone and anyone who bothers to listen. Saying it like it is a badge of bravery 😀 Someone said if you watched the ‘Miracle…’ movie and you didn’t cry then you’re an assassin. Well hallo, you’re looking at one 😀 I also didn’t cry when I read ‘The Kite Runner’ or even ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’. Quite the achievement I tell you. Howeveeerrr, few days after reading these, I had huge breakdowns over the smallest, most stupid reasons. I came to realize, sometimes, that I tend to postpone my crying till further notice; when I get a more sillier reason to cry. Like hit my toe on a door and cry for an hour about it. See? Paradoxical. I also realized my crying is like an art. I’m still trying to figure out my patterns 😀

I’m still terrified of the idea of divorce which in turn makes me terrified of marriage in the first place. The marriages crumbling around us are barely any consolation. For a very anxious person like me, uncertainty is our poison. Yet nonetheless, it makes me dig deeper into myself and be more keen on my choices in this life. Not just about marriage but everything else. I know some people think I am waiting for a fairy tale but trust me, I am very very aware of how reality is. And fairy tale is so far from it. Mwanzo the way I was too invested in Umm Abdullah and Hasanat’s seemingly perfect marriage, and what it turned out to be, mahn! I was too heart-broken I swear and even more sad for their reality *Insert too many tears*. Anyway, I guess such is life.

I have this colleague of mine who when he first read my first letter in 2015, was so excited because he had written something similar on his blog. He then narrated how his wife reacted when they got married and read the letters. She ransacked his entire blog, reading everrrything and asking about every girl that was mentioned on it 😀 They were a seemingly sweet couple. Five years down the line (after the conversation that is), they’re divorced. My heart sank when I heard about it. They’re both good people, but life happens. You can never know what will come your way tomorrow, a week from now or ten years later. It terrifies me how life is so temporary, unpredictable. You can NEVER claim that you have it figured out. Everyone is just stumbling through life and dealing with the snowballs rolling towards them. Throwback to when I was in high school and I’d see people in their mid-twenties, I’d marvel. I always thought ‘they have it figured out.’ The age where one has a job, is newly married and deeply in love, taking on adventures and life is just kicking off. I was so so wrong. I could never be more mistaken in my life. Adulthood is a scam. It is the heftiest slap on the face. Jokes on me 😀 Someone should have prepared me though! ( By the way, my colleague is happily remarried alhamdulilah. May Allah protect his marriage, bless it and make it long-lasting.ameen.)

So anyway, I met this lady, more than 10 years older than me. She is like the splitting image of me but personality wise. Very sensitive, very anxious, very compassionate, a very good writer, tiny like me…we even have similar health issues. Mind-blowing I tell you. It is almost like I met myself in the future. And you know, I see her seemingly happy in her marriage, with her grown children mashallah; they’re so adorable I could cry…Here’s the catch though; she is in a polygamous marriage!! When she told me about it I was like ‘whaaaatttt!! Hooooowww!!’ Cause I can’t imagine myself in one honestly I’d die so please don’t get ideas 😀 What’s even harder, is that she is the first wife! Her response was simply, ‘My husband is a good man’ and my heart melted at how she said it. She did admit it was tough but they made it through. I am still A.M.A.Z.E.D. mashallah mashallah may Allah keep blessing their marriage. Ameen. It gives me hope though; that people like me can be happy after all despite all the noise in the head.

To be honest, I am not where I want to be spiritually. I struggle. A lot. Mostly because of the anxiety. It makes you seek control. You have this desperate need to be the captain of the ship and control the direction of the wind too. Which is impossible. I am still learning and unlearning so many things. I am accepting of how too flawed I am. I am accepting that I still have a lot to work on on myself. I had this classmate in university, whom I really look up to. He was always so laid back. So much so, you’d think he’s entirely unbothered. But he wasn’t. He just never allowed matters to get to his skin. Whether it was the pressure from the lecturers and university projects, whether it was people mocking him, whether it was things not going as planned. A project that I would stress about for an entire month, he would plan himself keenly and do it in one week. No, don’t be mistaken. This wasn’t just someone who was playing around. This was someone who knew exactly how much importance to give any matter because, well, he was always top in class and he was the only other person who got first class honors besides me in our lot.

When I ponder over how I dealt with my university studies versus how he did, it was the extreme opposite. I would get panic attacks or even cry right before an exam sometimes. Yet he would never let anything disturb his peace of mind. Throughout the years in the same class, I never ever heard him complain about his personal life. He would complain about the lecturers or the challenges (just the usual, small stuff) but never about his personal life. I doubt anyone in our class knew much about his life. After graduation, while the rest of us were worried and stressing over getting jobs, you know what he was up to? Walking around his neighbourhood, taking brilliant images and editing them. When anyone would ask him how he could afford to be so relaxed, he would say, ‘I already sent my CVs. Now I can only wait.’ He did eventually get a job, a good one mashallah and it was as if he always knew he’d get it.

During this quarantine period, my mate is busy making happy and silly videos, recreating images and making memes despite being far from his family. As an avid complainer and a highly sensitive person, I learnt a lot about choosing my battles just from observing him. I know for sure he too has problems of his own, but he always had that utmost belief and optimism in life. I always yearned for that kind of peace (May Allah keep blessing him and grant him tranquility always. ameen). I still yearn for that kind of peace. I think if I master the art of ‘choosing battles’ then i’ll be way ahead in life. That is the goal.

I’m learning a lot just by observing people to be honest. That kind of education no one will ever teach you. There’s always something to learn from every single human being, even if not a positive thing, you learn about a negative thing to avoid doing. So yes, I’m still feeding on human stories. They shape me greatly and have been a huge part of my growth. I’m also still studying alhamdulilah (yes, neeerddd! 😀 )

Imagine Ramadhan is just a few days away. I’m deeply sad about the world right now. It will be a very strange Ramadhan while people in lock-down. Imagine watching taraweh in empty Makkah and Madina 🙁 I hope this pandemic ends soon wallahy. So many people are affected. So many people are struggling. So I’m praying that by eid all this will be over, at least people can have some part of ramadhan back in the masjid, may He help us all and protect us. Ameen. Try to make the best out of this Ramadhan as I strive to do as well biidhnillah. Also, you should try watch ‘Qalby Etmaan’ on youtube this Ramadhan cause Ghayth is absolutely my hero when it comes to charity and he inspires me too much *I am still crying*. Perhaps he’d inspire you too!

Do include me in your prayers please, 26 looks scary to be honest. But turning one year older, I am also very very grateful. For my amazing parents, for my dear family, for my very lovely friends, for the blessings from Allah. I never take these things for granted. And the more I grow up, the more I appreciate their presence and all the love. Alhamdulilah ala kul hal. Hoping you join the team soon enough 😉 Ameen. About that, by the way, you are wasting such an opportune moment because with this quarantine, it is the best time to do a nikah. We’d just have gone to the kadhi and skipped all that chaos of the normal weddings 😀 But oh well, everything happens at its time I guess.

Just a disclaimer as we wind up, I sought the permission of the above people mentioned before writing about them, so don’t you assume I’m a snitch 😀

I am hoping there won’t be a part 4 because I am getting too old and hopefully you’d be around before I ever have to. If I’m writing another letter then it should be to my husband 😀 In shaa Allah. Stay safe wherever you are.

Till we meet in shaa Allah 🙂

P.S I now realize this was too long. It’s been three years anyway, we’re compensating 😀

Sending you Love and Light,

Lubnah with an ‘H’.

***

Thank you for reading 🙂 Kindly subscribe and stay tuned for the Ramadhan special edition in shaa Allah. I am also starting a Ramadhan fundraising in shaa Allah to support a family of 5 , who are deeply affected by the corona virus. The father is in the transport business which is now in pause till after corona. Ramadhan is coming, and they have bills to pay with no other way to earn their livelihood. Kindly do support me in this project as well by sending to my mpesa: 0704 731 560 (Lubnah Said). I love you all for the sake of Allah. Please take care wherever you are!

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HOW MUCH DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN QADAR?

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Photo Courtesy: Unknown

Since our childhood we’ve been told, taught and re-told about qadar (fate & destiny). We chorused it as one of the six pillars of Imaan (faith). We always say it proudly that we believe in what God has written for us. But how true is that? How much do you believe in the light at the end of the tunnel?

The true test of Faith is not when you win, not when things go as you wish, not when you are happy with your results. The true test is when you have worked extra hard yet still fail, when you have lost your beloved one, when your duas remain unanswered, when you don’t get a husband or when you get a divorce. It is these moments that you should question yourself; how much do I believe in what Allah had written for me?

When going through a hard time, it is so difficult to think straight. There is so much despair, pain and frustration. But do you take time to question yourself that perhaps this is really the best for me? That perhaps something good is to come from this? That perhaps Allah is protecting me from something more harmful?

I once asked a friend who was competing in an international project whether he believes there could be any good in him losing. The competition was that the winner would win 10 million dollars to do a huge youth project (that they had proposed) in their home land. He was short-listed and that was when I asked ‘do you believe there could be any good?’ But of course anyone would think, what could be good in losing 10 million dollars?! I mean, all that money could do wonders. But have you ever thought of it this way?

You get 10 million dollars. The first thing anyone does is throw a party. It’s time to celebrate. It’s time to hang out with friends. It’s time to party. It could also be the time for extravagance. The time for arrogance. The time to totally ignore your parents. The time to break all your principles. The time to do fasad. You think you can control money demons? Well, truth is, money always had a way of controlling man. This is why Allah S.W clearly stated it in the qur’an; that wealth is fitnah. Haven’t we seen very humble people become so arrogant because of wealth? Haven’t we seen how people change?

My friend never won. His project was so inspiring and amazing I was almost sure he would win yet he didn’t. Then I said, “perhaps this wasn’t kheir for you. Perhaps you would have changed and we wouldn’t be able to recognize you again…”

You will be disappointed of course. Everyone does. But how quickly do you recover from it?

One of things I really push myself to do is see things beyond. Take a different view point. When someone you love is very ill; the kind of ‘very ill’ that there is barely any hope in them you cry to Allah to give them shifaa right? You give out sadaqa, you do all you can to make them feel well but then Allah still takes them away. You cry again; you cry your heart out. ‘Why didn’t Allah answer my prayers?’ But have you ever thought of how much more this person would have suffered had they lived more? When my late aunt; mama two (for those who have read her story here) passed away her leg had been cut three times. She was diabetic. Sometimes I really feel nostalgic. I look at my nephew and wish she could be here to be an amazing grandma. But then I also imagine how life would have been for her in crutches. How spending her 50’s in all that struggle and pain would be for her. Then I say alhamdulilah. Allah knew she deserved to rest. Allah knew this life would no longer serve her much good. So yes, even in death, perhaps there is so much mercy that we never look at.

Many times people pray istikhara to ask Allah for what is best. But the problem is, you ask Allah yet you already have an opinion. You already want to travel. You have made a choice already, then how will you see Allah’s answer when you are already blinded by what you want? You pray to ask Allah if the job is kheir for you, when your prayer turns out negative, you still put your opinion that ‘perhaps I haven’t prayed well. Maybe I should just try.’ And many of us have become victims of claiming ‘I believe in qadar’ yet we think we are so smart to take onto life by ourselves.

You pray istikhara to ask about a spouse, it turns out negative but because the person seems good, family members start giving you a list of reasons of why you should agree. Hallo? Where is your imaan in qadar? Where is your belief that what is meant to be will be even if all humans are against it? Where is your faith that what isn’t meant to be will not happen even if the entire mankind gang up to support it? Trust me, when the right person comes, everything will work out miraculously. There will be no doubt. There will be no obstacles. There will only be Allah’s mercy and everything will flow as it should be…same thing with jobs, children and everything else we want in life.

So here you are, you get a wonderful job offer, you send your CV, you are so excited to start your new job then suddenly…they decline. They just change their mind. And you are left there, shocked and perhaps angry. You get another job which pays much less than what you would have received before. You wonder why. You start questioning why. God why?! Then this same job that pays you less brings out the best of your abilities and you prosper such that you keep climbing up the ladder. At that time, you don’t even remember to thank Allah that He brought you here and not there. You think it is your hard work. Yet it is Allah’s great plan to bring you to greatness.

Perhaps the best thing for you to do is ask Allah for what is kheir for you. Ask for success that is kheir. A job that is kheir. A spouse that is kheir. To grant you children that are kheir. To grant you wealth that is kheir…don’t rush to ask for things. Ask Allah from His own knowledge to grant you only what is best for you.

And when your duas are not answered you have to believe that this was simply not kheir for you. When you keep having miscarriages, when you are getting old with no husband, when you never get a well paying job…just think of all the bad possibilities that could have happened if you indeed got what you asked for. Think like a public relations manager. These people’s jobs is to think of the worst of scenarios before thinking of how they will deal with the situation. So you too, think about it.

If I had children…perhaps they would grow up to be very cruel children that would cause me nothing but pain.

If I had a good job…perhaps I would be too busy to be with my family anymore.

If I had a spouse…perhaps I wouldn’t be strong enough to deal with the challenges of marriage

And when people start questioning your calmness in dealing with your problems; when they ask you why you are not yet getting married, why you haven’t conceived yet, why you haven’t bought the house you wanted to…tell them; I am just going by the flow that which Allah has written for me. And what He has written for me is the best for me. So I will keep believing in His plan until the day He knows is the right time for my plan to come true.

Remember, all these obstacles you meet on your way to your destination are but reasons to drive you away to something better; something that Allah had written for you.

So whenever you are having a bad day, whenever things seem to be going haywire, whenever you feel in despair, ask yourself: how much do I believe in qadar?

 

How much do you believe in Allah’s best and great plan for you??

 

Hold on right there ?

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