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One topic that deeply resonates with me is Qadar (fate). It’s truly fascinating to reflect on how Allah orchestrates our lives, reminding us of our own limitations and the unpredictability of our journeys. In moments when I find it difficult to comprehend Allah’s plans for me, especially when circumstances don’t align with my expectations, I often think back to a deep story I witnessed. It’s the story of a young believing woman, and her experiences are ones that many of us can relate to.

Imagine a 33-year-old woman living abroad with her parents in a big city. Her family cherished her deeply, but like many singles her age, she felt the weight of loneliness and societal pressure. At 33, it is often considered “old,” and the idea of an “expiration date” for finding a partner seemed more pronounced back then than it does now. Despite receiving many proposals since she was 18, none of them worked out for various reasons. Nevertheless, she remained steadfast in her trust in Allah’s divine plan.

When she turned 33 years old, she earnestly prayed for a spouse. Subhanallah, one night at 2 a.m., she poured her heart out to Allah about her desire for a partner. After her prayers, just after Fajr, her sister called to inform her that there were three proposals, subhanallah. A week before her engagement, she received another proposal. Fast forward, she got married at the age of 33 and moved to a rural area in a different country. It was a completely new life, filled with a different environment and culture far from home, but she embraced it with faith and excitement for her new journey.

Things took a sour turn soon after the wedding when her husband revealed that “his heart just couldn’t accept her,” despite her being a perfect wife and diligently fulfilling all her duties. Imagine the shock, heartbreak, confusion, and loneliness she felt—Subhanallah. Despite her deep efforts, prayers, and ruqya to improve her relationship with him, all was in vain as he ignored her and paid no attention to her at all.

Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala destined that she would become pregnant. In normal circumstances, this would have been an extremely joyous moment for the newlyweds. However, with an indifferent husband, there was little joy to be found. During those first two months, life was hell for the young woman. She had no idea how quickly and dramatically her circumstances had changed. However, this was not the end of her struggles. Allah tested her once more with an experience that every woman dreads: she had a miscarriage. As she mourned the loss of her unborn child and reflected on her troubled marriage, she returned to her family home. It was at that moment that her husband chose to end their marriage.

The lady was devastated. What would people say about a girl who got divorced after only two months of marriage? What would they think of her? They might assume that something must be very wrong with her. Who would want to marry someone like that again? She fell into despair. However, her family provided her with strong support, offering a shoulder to lean on and encouraging her to accept it as the qadar of Allah, reminding her that He knows best. Very slowly she healed. But the idea of marriage was totally deleted from her mind. For her, she felt like that was the end of her marriage chapter and that no one would accept her as a wife again.

Three years later, the lady visited her family. While there, she saw her sibling’s children and felt a deep yearning for motherhood and the warmth of having a family. That night, she returned to her prayer mat and cried out to Allah, asking for a new spouse—one who would be better than her ex-husband in every way. She only prayed that one night, not expecting anything to come of it. However, shortly after, there was a burial for a close uncle, and during the gathering, some ladies who were friends of her cousin, came to offer their condolences. They interacted briefly with her, and when they returned home, they spoke to a single man from their community about the lady they had met that day. Subhanallah, just one week later, a proposal came from the man, and she got married a month after that.

And Good Lord, the difference between her first and second husband was like heaven and earth. Subhanallah. She got the love, the respect, the friendship, the care that she prayed for for too long. She calls it a miracle and indeed it is one.

Whenever this story comes to mind I am in awe at how Allah meticulously plans our Affairs. And even when we don’t understand why things go the way they do, we gotta believe that He knows best. That He is merciful towards us even in the darkest of situations. For example, this young lady prayed istikhara in both cases of first and second husband. So her going through the first unhappy marriage was a test from Allah. And perhaps she needed to go through that experience, that pain, that heartbreak to be able to truly appreciate the huge blessing she is currently in. You bet that every time she thinks of her past and her present and sees the difference, she is moved by Allah’s mercy towards her. And her second marriage is both a blessing and a test. Will she be grateful for what Allah has bestowed upon her?

As human beings, we sometimes wonder why Allah doesn’t just grant us blessings from the start. Why does He test us first? No one can provide a definitive answer to this question, as
only Allah understands the divine secrets of life and the wisdom behind each stage we go through. We may think we are ready to handle the blessings Allah wants to bestow upon us,
but can we be sure? Perhaps through every loss, every moment of anguish, and every
lesson learned, we become wiser and grow into the best versions of ourselves, ultimately
preparing to receive those blessings.

As such, whatever pain you are going through right now, whether of marriage, wanting children, wanting a better job, or good health…do have yaqeen (firm belief) that you are exactly where Allah wants you to be. In Allah’s books, there is no delay, nor is there a rush. Everything has an appointed term. So does this hardship. It will not last forever. And Allah is in charge.

Additionally, we learn that there is always a reward for patience. Do you notice your poor health, loneliness, and poverty? Allah will compensate you for all of it. This may happen in a few weeks or even years, but it is a promise from Him. With every difficulty, there is ease. Even in the sad situation you find yourself in, He still cares for you in other ways. Never forget that and never despair. This is your reminder to slow down, to breathe, to have hope, and to believe without a doubt that there is calm after the storms.

Side Note: This is a reminder for our community to be considerate of one another. Let’s avoid being judgmental, shaming, or mocking those who are divorced, unmarried, or childless. In fact, we should simply avoid dwelling on what isn’t our business. We can never fully understand the challenges others have faced or are currently facing.

Beloved reader, as we conclude, I want you to hold onto this verse. Keep it close to your heart. Memorize it if you can. Let this be your guiding light even in the darkest of nights: “So be patient with your Lord’s decree, for you are truly under Our ˹watchful˺ Eyes. And glorify the praises of your Lord when you rise.” (Qur’an 52:48) Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala is our guardian, caretaker, and handler of our affairs. Who else would you rather have to manage your affairs than Him?

“Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is keener for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of love for Allah and would have torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you, do not grieve. For it may be that Allah yearns to hear your voice by way of du’a. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know that verily Allah does not forget.” ― Ibn Al Qayyim.

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Sometimes people wrong us in such despicable ways. Sometimes we are the ones who wrong people. Sometimes we are oppressed, we are discriminated and mistreated. Sometimes we are the ones carrying the baggage of harming others. Sometimes we lose everything at once, sometimes it is so hard, it is difficult to move on. Sometimes is sometimes our always; each one of us desperately trying to understand why things go the way they do. How villains are still walking free while some really good souls are the ones to be diagnosed with cancer. How very evil, ungrateful, arrogant people could be the ones enjoying luxurious lives while a very hardworking person suddenly loses his hand which he desperately needs for his manual labour. It doesn’t make sense! It never does! How is it a very poor child loses their mother who was the only family they knew while an already rich boy wins a car he doesn’t even need…How is it that one prays for a child for ten years yet when they finally get one, the wife dies at delivery??…and sometimes we just want to ask God, ‘Why though?’

Only God knows…
Sometimes we realize how lucky we are for not getting what we cried for and sometimes we never get the answers. And sometimes it is as it is. We can never know. Difficult things happen. We lose and sometimes we gain. Sometimes people hurt us, they betray us, they take our differences to another level it shouldn’t ever reach, they forget all the good and tough situations you went through together. Sometimes they realize they wronged us and apologize and sometimes they die believing what they did was right. That is the human being. He is insan. He forgets and he errs.

But we should always believe that there is a bigger picture. That as much as we don’t understand what is going on in our lives or why it is going the way it is, we should have undoubted faith that God knows what’s best for us. And this is actual test of faith; believing when it is hardest to do so.

We have proof in the qur’an that there’s always something more to our painful and even happy stories. There is always something extra that our eyes will not simply see and our minds won’t easily fathom.

In Surat Kahf, in the story of Nabii Musa aleyhi salaam when he was told to search for a servant of Allah who had more knowledge than him, we get to learn something very valuable. During their journey; Nabii Musa and his teacher, Al Khidhr, three occasions happen which agitated Nabii Musa aleyhi Salam:

71. So they both proceeded, till, when they embarked the ship, he (Khidr) scuttled it. Musa (Moses) said: “Have you scuttled it in order to drown its people? Verily, you have committed a thing “Imra” (a Munkar – evil, bad, dreadful thing).”

72. He (Khidr) said: “Did I not tell you, that you would not be able to have patience with me?”

73. [Musa (Moses)] said: “Call me not to account for what I forgot, and be not hard upon me for my affair (with you).”

74. Then they both proceeded, till they met a boy, he (Khidr) killed him. Musa (Moses) said: “Have you killed an innocent person who had killed none? Verily, you have committed a thing “Nukra” (a great Munkar – prohibited, evil, dreadful thing)!”

75. (Khidr) said: “Did I not tell you that you can have no patience with me?”

76. [Musa (Moses)] said: “If I ask you anything after this, keep me not in your company, you have received an excuse from me.”

77. Then they both proceeded, till, when they came to the people of a town, they asked them for food, but they refused to entertain them. Then they found therein a wall about to collapse and he (Khidr) set it up straight. [Musa (Moses)] said: If you had wished, surely, you could have taken wages for it!”

78. (Khidr) said: “This is the parting between me and you, I will tell you the interpretation of (those) things over which you were unable to hold patience.

79. “As for the ship, it belonged to Masakin (poor people) working in the sea. So I wished to make a defective damage in it, as there was a king after them who seized every ship by force.

80. “And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared lest he should oppress them by rebellion and disbelief.

81. “So we intended that their Lord should change him for them for one better in righteousness and near to mercy.

82. “And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the town; and there was under it a treasure belonging to them; and their father was a righteous man, and your Lord intended that they should attain their age of full strength and take out their treasure as a mercy from your Lord. And I did it not of my own accord. That is the interpretation of those (things) over which you could not hold patience.”

If we were to witness these same occasions ourselves, wouldn’t we just react according to what is visible to the eye, as Nabii Musa did? If your boat was the one destroyed or your boy killed, how long would it take any of us to actually think that perhaps there is something greater, something bigger beyond what the mind comprehends? Were we the ones to be denied food, would we even want to smile at those people let alone build a random wall somewhere? If you just lost all your property in a fire and someone told you, ‘Perhaps it is kheir’ you would perhaps glare at them like they are the ones who set your property on fire. When misfortunes befall us we cry ‘Why God?’ yet we don’t know how much good Allah is doing to us by that same terrible incident. We tend to only look at what is in front of us. But Allah is the Most Merciful and there are a lot of instances where we should thank Allah for despite how ugly the situation is. And indeed, this story is the perfect proof that we don’t know everything. That however powerful, mighty, rich or knowledgeable we are, there are just some things we would never be able to explain or understand. That as much as we make plans, Allah has already written in detail how our lives are going to be. That we should always ask God to direct us to only what is kheir for us.

We may not have the answers but we need to trust Allah’s wisdom and choices for us. May Allah grant us the patience and guide us always. Ameen.

We plan and Allah plans, and He is the Best of planners.

P.S Humble Reminder: Do read surat Kahf if you haven’t. It still is Friday 🙂

“Do the people think that they will be left to say: We believe, and they will not be tried? But We have certainly tried those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars.” (Qur’an, Surah Al-Ankabut, 29: 2-3)

IN HIS WATCHFUL EYES

WE PLAN…AND ALLAH PLANS