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Creative Non-Fiction

LIFE AS THE NEW ADULT

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My dear readers,

Writing has transformed into a rare luxury for me, a cherished activity often sidelined by the relentless demands of daily life. It’s something I can only engage in after tackling a mountain of chores, navigating the complexities of finances and taxes, and finding a way to retreat into solitude for days, searching for that elusive moment of inspiration. I can almost hear my own voice echoing, “I used to write, you know… but then life happened…”

There was a time when I was convinced that if I fueled my inner fire with enough passion and determination, I could carve out precious moments for the things I love. Spoiler alert: Wrong! It seems that adulthood should come with a warning label, as writing is certainly not the only thing I’m falling behind on. The responsibilities and complexities of growing up seem to pile up, making it challenging to keep pace with everything I once managed so easily. The only silver lining of this madness is that I know I am not alone.

Things have been changing drastically and without warning. As they say, ‘hii syllabus inaenda mbio’. For example, since when did I start taking evening tea? Who am I?! Or why is it taking me 3 to 5 business days to watch one true-crime documentary or just a feel-good movie, something I used to do in one night? Or why are kids expecting eidiya (eid gift tokens) from me? Or why am I now listening to full speeches during school events? Mind you, school events of my nieces and nephews who have ME as their NEXT OF KIN. Crazy, right? Ain’t I ‘children’?

Remember my obsession with kids, how I thought my sole purpose on Earth was to nurture tiny humans? Flash forward to now, and I’m much more of a “Why are they so energetic?” kind of gal. Don’t get it twisted; I still dream of being a mother someday, in shaa Allah, but can I survive the chaos? So many questions swirling around in my brain.

My outings with friends have become increasingly rare, and what once resembled a social life has faded away. When we do manage to escape our daily routines, our conversations now revolve around recipes, the challenging economy, and complaints about conflicts with the “senior citizens” at work. We often express our disbelief at the high expectations placed on school children today and lament the outrageous prices of curtains. Oh, how times have changed! We no longer dream about the latest Converse sneakers or trendy backpacks; instead, our wish list includes air fryers, vacuums, and dumbbells.

We’ve shifted from reading Khaled Hosseini’s beautifully written novels to exploring books on narcissism, trauma, and healing (if we ever get the time to do that anyway 😉 ). Whereas we used to ignore politics, we now find ourselves tweeting and retweeting about how the system and government have failed us. It’s astonishing how practical and logical we’ve become!
Weekends? Oh, they now consist of barricading myself inside the house like a hermit from dusk till dawn, only to emerge for Monday’s inevitable grind. And here I thought I was an introvert! There’s a whole new level, my friends, where you avoid talking to anyone, loud noises are such a pet peeve and you realise that proving your good intentions during arguments isn’t worth the energy anymore.

Some days, I catch myself sending out Friday forwards, and suddenly it dawns on me: Am I this close to sending the obligatory “Good Morning” gifs and duas filled with flowers and birds chirping? All this because starting a conversation feels like trying to jump-start a dead car battery. Sleep has become my sole desire, a comforting escape from daily chaos. The only times we go out are for sad funerals or happy weddings, which are the rare moments we step away from our routines to connect with others.

Remember when I used to be fun? Sharing memes on my WhatsApp status like my life depended on it? Well now we have the ugly reality of wars and oppression and violence right on our faces which makes me question: was it always like this or were we just totally oblivious? My God! Did they actually mean it when they (the older generation) kept saying, ‘Kupumzika ni kaburini?!’

However, if there’s anything, adulting really humbles you. You truly get to appreciate life for what it is. The back and knee pains remind you of the blessing of health. The little moments you get to spend with friends make you value them more. You learn the importance of choosing your battles because you realize how precious your time and energy is. You start appreciating homemade food more because you understand it’s not just food; it’s love in a Tupperware container plus, money is saved! (our parents were right aye?!  ) Most importantly we get to extend a little (a lot) more grace to our parents. We understand them better now. We understand how much they endured to make us what we are today. We understand how much they sacrificed. How much they TRIED. We understand that they don’t have much time anymore and every single day, every single moment with them is a gift and a blessing.

For most of us millennials, this journey through adulthood is like a wild roller coaster with no safety bar. We’ve hopped between worlds—playing outside until dusk and then watching kids who have never known a life without screens. We’ve seen the highs and the lows, and yet, here we stand. With a bit of a prayer for serene days, wiser decisions, and an abundance of consciousness, let’s raise a metaphorical toast to the new adults navigating this exhilarating circus we call life! Cheers!

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Creative Non-Fiction

HERE’S TO TEN!

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If I started blogging early 2014, should I mark this year as ‘9 years as a blogger’ or should I count it as my 10th year as a blogger? Like, do I count 2023 minus 2014 or do I count 2014, 2015, 2016…to 2023? Or is it all the same thing, just different ways of saying it? Lol yeah right, Maths still is a nightmare. I had to ask three people to confirm that this is my 10th year 😀 Mathematicians, pardon my ignorance but at this point I just need divined intervention 😀

Anywayyyss, this is the 10th year good peopleee! Can you believe it?! It’s been a journey and a half alhamdulilah. Many of you have accompanied me from the very start when I was using Blogspot (old college days!) before migrating to this website. You’ve watched me grow and evolve. You’ve watched my voice and writing style become more distinct over the years. You’ve laughed with me, smiled with me, cried with me, grieved with me, thought with me and watched those thoughts change over time too. You’ve become part of my family, sharing the small and large moments with me. Many of you were there when the blog was nominated by BAKE (Bloggers Association of Kenya) to be among the top 5 creative writing blogs alhamdulilah. You’ve witnessed the blog evolve too; from writing silly moments about my anxiety, Mombasa weddings, exorcism- the Mombasa version, literally having those nightmares about maths lol, my interesting thoughts while walking under-the-bridge tunnel at Buxton, my rejections and work failures, frustrations at the public offices, letters to my better half (my priorities have realllyyy changed by the way 😀 ), World cup and Olympics thrills, my happy people (more to come on this in shaa Allah 😀 ), my beloved family, my weak attempt at writing about travel (I just haven’t gotten to travel moreee) to the more serious topics on mental health, loss and grief, spirituality, and life lessons as the years go by. Alhamdulilah, alhamdulilah!

It has always been intentional for me to make the blog as diverse as possible so that anyone who opens my blog can find something relatable. And it is my hope that more people will continue to find laughter, benefit, inspiration, enjoyment and comfort in this website.

Many of you have supported me endlessly and unconditionally; you’ve read my work, shared it with your networks, given me feedback and positive critique, subscribed to the website and had firm faith in me even when I was going through long periods of writer’s block. I’ve had the honour of interacting with several of you, one on one, and you’ve helped me immensely over the years by giving suggestions, sharing ideas, sharing your own life stories and lessons, discussing life, joking about life moments, and letting me know that my work is being read and enjoyed. We’ve pretty much done life together-stumbling through it all and making our way towards growth. 

Over the years, we were also graced by different amazing and very talented writers who wrote as guests on this blog. Their witty, funny and interesting contributions spiced up this space even more.

For all this, I am deeply, deeply grateful. I have never and will never take this for granted. It is by Allah’s mercy and tawfiq and your support that keeps me going and motivating me to never give up on my dream as a writer.

As we mark this 10th year, I have two announcements to make:

First of all, to commemorate this milestone, I will hold a FREE online blogging workshop on the 28th of January, (2 p.m. onwards) to train 10 aspiring bloggers in shaa Allah. For anyone who is interested, kindly email me at info@lubnah.me.ke. (First come, First serve!)

Secondly, I’d love to invite you all to support me further in this journey. I am introducing a patronage program for the blog where readers can chip in and support in the growth and content creation of this website. There won’t be a standard fee (Don’t worry I am not pulling CBK’s bank to Mpesa charges sort of thing, albeit their failed attempt 😀 ) but rather it will be an open invitation for anyone to give whatever they feel, at whatever time is convenient. One can contribute weekly, monthly, whenever a blog is posted or whenever one feels generous 😀 Any amount is most welcome too! This will assist me to grow this website further, do more content creation, research and maybe even conduct more writing trainings!

If the blog has ever been relatable, a source of joy, smiles & laughter, comfort, inspiration, enlightenment, and made you feel heard and seen, then I’ll really appreciate your support.

Before I share the patronage details, here’s a reminder that my books are also available for purchase:

Reflection & Resurgence: A Believer’s Journey to Allah @ 1500/= (With Ramadhan approaching, here’s a book to consider for the spiritual month)

A Fire Within & Other Stories (by a couple of African writers that includes my short story) @ 950/=

Threads and Faces (by a couple of African writers that includes my poem) @ 650/=

Saida and The Eid Dress @ 230/=

For anyone interested to purchase, kindly text me at 0704 731 560

For your faith this far, I am beyond touched. May God bless each one of you immensely and for the support you grant me, may God bring you forth good people to support your dreams as well.

Below are the details on how to become a patron for our blog. Thank you once again. May your unwavering support be worth the while always, ameen!

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Inspiration

OF BROKEN DREAMS AND FAILING MARRIAGES

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My marriage has been rocky and it feels like I’m in the middle of an impending divorce.

It just happens; the drift I mean. One day you’re married, and suddenly it’s 15 years. And when you’re married for that long, there’s a certain weight of pressure and expectation from you from the society. You’ve been the icon of love for generation X, and the #Couplegoals for the Millenials, you cannot afford to disappoint them with love, can you?!

There is nothing I can pinpoint as the exact reason for our failing marriage. Life just happened. I got busier, and he stopped waiting for me. Meals are quieter nowadays. I see him look at me like he’s expecting me to say something. Do something. But I continue nibbling at my food, feeling like a failure. He sighs and moves away from the table. I can feel him slip his fingers away whenever I try to hold his hand. I can’t even remember the last time we shared a joke, or a bed, or a decent conversation like we frequently used to do. It is sad.

It is sad because I can feel him walking away. Like he wasn’t the love of my life. And the sadder part is that I’m letting him go.

We’ve had our ups and downs. We’ve been happier than ever. We’ve also cried a lot along the way. But we survived, we emerged stronger. But right now? The candle is burning down. The silence is alarming. The future is scary. And this, this right here is a desperate attempt to rekindle what was once a fierce, passionate love.

I have betrayed my husband in unimaginable ways- writing. Yes, writing is a lifetime commitment, very much like a marriage. What did you think I was talking about? SMH.

Anyway, as I was saying, life has been happening.

There was a time when I used to write twice a week! Can you believe that? Twice a week! Mashallah mashallah. It blows my mind to think about it now. I used to be the icon of persistence, J.K. Rowling would have been proud. Nowadays I write once a month after many many pep talks and postponements.

I want to blame it on adulting or use my final year excuse card that I am violently throwing around nowadays to any commitment or meeting or my several rejection letters from the literary world that make me question whether I am really good at this.

The most painful thing about rejections is the ‘almosts’. You almost made it. You’re almost there. You are so close to getting a hang of it. But when you’ve been an almost for more than a decade, what does that make you? It really does feel like you’re in an unrequited love situationship.

I however do not want to be ungrateful. I’ve come such a long, long way. I’ve had awesome milestones in my writing. I’ve had great feedback from my close people and people I’ve never even met too. I’ve seen myself grow alhamdulilah.

I remind myself of one of my readers who once asked me, ‘what’s success to you as a writer?’ And I said something along the lines of ‘I want my work to shake the literary world, you know, write something that will be a classic and be read like 100 years after my death.’ And I genuinely think most writers want that, you want your work to be noteworthy with the very sense of the word. I am no exception. I want that too. I want someone to read my work in France or Moldova or a remote Island somewhere that’s unheard of and be speechless for how amazing the book or novel was. I want my work to be translated into 28 languages or something. I do want that. And it’s not about the fame really, it’s about knowing that your work made such an impact, the whole world had to read it. But my reader’s response still strikes a chord, he said, ‘Isn’t it enough that one person read your work and was positively influenced by it?’

And I think about that response often. It should be enough. It doesn’t really have to be the whole world. If just one person is moved, positively impacted by my words, then I should count it as a win. A big one in fact.

I guess as human beings we always want more. We want to touch the sky even when our ladders can’t get us there. And it is not necessarily a bad thing.

I am not saying I want to give up on my dream. I still want my work to someday shake the literally world. Be so mind-blowing it becomes in everyone’s a must-read booklist. I deserve that for all that the hard work into this journey. But me writing this piece is a reminder to myself, and you who’s reading this, that it’s also okay to be where you are right now and I believe that’s what my reader meant by his response. I mean life is life and regardless of how big our dreams are, we shouldn’t forget to appreciate the smaller, bigger wins and the baby steps and the milestones.

I do not want to give up on this dream despite how hard it is becoming for me. I want to remember why I started. Why I never stopped even when life got really hectic and I had very valid excuses to stop. I want to remember why this marriage is important to me. And me admitting that I’m struggling with it is the first step to get back on track.

Dear reader, thank you for taking this journey with me throughout the highs and lows. I never take that for granted. I really appreciate you!

Cheers to being human, to working on our marriages, and to fulfilling our dreams!

P.S: I finally released hard copies of my full glossy book, Reflection & Resurgence. It is 1500/= only. You can buy your copy at 0704 731 560. The copies are limited! Don’t miss out!!

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Inspiration

WRITING ABOUT NOT WRITING

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Writing can be so difficult sometimes. I speak for myself at least. Sometimes I stare at the screen for too long before deciding what to write. Sometimes I desperately text multiple friends to ask for ideas. Sometimes I fail to write entirely. Sometimes, I write about not writing so that I can have something to write about. Huh! See what I did there 😀 Point is, I’ve been struggling to write as frequently as I used to some years back. So here’s me attempting to DO SOMETHING.

My dear friend Umm Usaamah (thank you Najma!) gave me a book called, ‘If You Can Talk, You Can Write‘ By Joel Saltzman. The book was so refreshing because the author used a lot of humour. He gives these awesome tips on how to write, at any cost. I decided to share the tips from his book and hopefully, we can stop complaining about not writing and actually do it?!

1. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF: First of all, don’t say you know nothing interesting. Stop rejecting your thoughts and start writing them down. You might think, ‘Ah, I’m such a boring person with zero social life, what could I possibly write about that would be interesting?’ But trust me, there are people out there wondering how you spend your time and stay sane while alone. Or you could be a fisherman and you think, ‘Who wants to know about fishing and a fisherman’s life?’ But there is always someone who would be interested. 99% of all novels start with something autobiographical; people telling their own stories but changing names. So remember this, ‘if it interests me, it will interest others too!’ If you don’t work on your idea of a fisherman’s life, someone else will!

2. PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION: Here is the absolute truth, perfectionism leads to paralysis which eventually leads to procrastination. When you refuse to accept anything less than perfection, you’ve reduced your failure rate to zero percent. The problem is, you’ve done the same to your success rate. Tell yourself, ‘I don’t care if it makes any sense or not. Whatever is in my head, I’m going to write it down.’ Remember, it doesn’t have to be great at this instance. Your aim is to have something down!

3. WRITE LESS, SAY IT BETTER: Make it as simple as possible. You don’t have to use big words or complicated, impressive words to be a good writer. You need to ‘talk on paper’, like you would to a friend. The more you ‘talk’ on paper without stopping to judge or criticize yourself, the better chances you have of stumbling into gold. It is like when you’re trying to explain something during a conversation, you’re trying to find the right way of saying it. At first you may beat about the bush, say a lot of ‘urmmms’, but eventually, you get to your point. ‘Blah, blah, blah, blah…GOLD!’ Same with writing! ‘If the final product looks nice and easy, chances are, it took a lot of tinkering.’

4. MAKE ‘HAVING FUN’ BE YOUR MANTRA: Tell yourself, ‘I’m going to have some fun here. I’m going to play around and discover some really neat stuff.’ Writing is like a voyage of discovery. Make it an adventure. Pick a word, any word, see what you can write about it. See where it takes you. Remember to have fun!

5. WRITING IS REWRITING: A rotten first attempt is a great way to start. Even the best writers never get it right the first time. Take a break after writing then come back to re-check what you wrote. The longer you stay away, the more objectivity you will gain. Never be deceived by someone else’s polished draft. They too had to do some serious rewriting. A friend of mine told me of a brilliant writer who writes these MASTERPIECES, but the writer usually sits from 6 a.m. in the morning till 1 p.m. doing that one piece of around 600 words. This kind of dedication is what we all need! James A Michener said, “I have never thought of myself as a good writer. Anyone who wants reassurance of that should read one of my first drafts. But I’m one of the great rewriters.”

John Steinbeck said, ‘Never correct or rewrite until the whole thing is done. Rewrite in the process is usually found to be an excuse for not going on.’

6. NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN: Whatever idea you think of, high chances are, someone else already thought about it too. There is nothing new under the sun yet no one can tell a story YOUR way. Stop abandoning your writing at the first sign of trouble. Leave your problem aside for a while and the answer may just come to you. Remember, your story matters!

7. DO IT YOUR WAY: Find your voice. Write your story. Talk about what matters to you. Every author breathes a different life into the same idea. This is because, each one of us will tell it in our own unique way! What you can do-better than anyone-is write it your way, no matter what they say.

8. WRITERS BLOCK: Jerry Jenkins said that the writers’ block is brought about by four things: Fear, Procrastination, Perfectionism and Distractions. The way to deal with this is to WRITE in spite of the fear. Taking necessary action to write even you feel like it is the last thing you want to do. ‘The way to resume is to resume. It is the only way. To resume.’

9. CRITICISM: Criticism isn’t the hard part, it is how you react to it. Do not take it personally. Opinions will vary, whether it is glowing praise or complete damnation. Learn to shrug off either extreme because praise will stop you from growing , scorn will stop you from even trying. Be critical of what you write, not the person who wrote it. Remember, criticism is not an attack on YOU! Take it as a learning opportunity.

10. SECRET INGREDIENT: When you stick with writing long enough, the chaos turns into order. All you need is the patience to keep trying until you get it right. It is okay if you don’t know what you’re trying to say at first. It is the only way you’ll get to say, ‘Aha! Now I know what I’ve been trying to say all this time!’

A lot of discipline is needed too. Discipline is learning how to write when you don’t feel like writing.

11. PERSISTENCE: Katherine Anne Porter said, ‘Stick to it in spite of hell and other people. Patience and endurance.’ Sometimes you will lack inspiration but that doesn’t mean you just sit and wait for it to come like revelation. ‘You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.’ John Cage said, ‘I don’t try to be inspired, I just try to work very regularly.’ Point is, you have to force yourself to write! Make the time for it! The more you write, the more time you spend at it, the better chances for success.

12. JUST WRITE! Write about what you usually talk about. The ordinary conversations can really be extra-ordinary. Stupid ideas can actually turn out great! So write! Write about what you don’t know. Make interesting lists like ‘True things I could never make public’ then pick one such thing and actually dare to write about it. Write about what matters to you. Write about things you’ve researched. Just make sure you do write, at whatever cost!

Also, read! Because by reading others, we learn to write for ourselves.

‘Good writing is not about magical aptitude or God-given gifts; it’s about taking the talent you do have -great, average or less than average and working hard to make the most of it.’

Well, I did end up writing didn’t I? 😉

***

I highly recommend this book by Joel Saltzman, ‘If you can talk, you can write.’ The above is just a summary from what I learnt from the 190 pages. You definitely will learn more from the actual book. It is very helpful for all kind of writers.

Kindly subscribe below and share the post with your fellow writers 🙂 Thank you for your time 🙂

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Guest Posts

ANNOUNCING THE UGANDA INTERNATIONAL WRITERS CONFERENCE

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Participating delegates will be: Writers, poets, bloggers, playwrights, publishing professionals, critics, academics, journalists and books enthusiasts from Africa and its Diaspora.

Expect an eclectic mix of exciting activities including:

*Panel discussions on stimulating and thought-provoking conversations
*An ‘In Conversation With’ session with Jackie Kay
*Book launch: Manchester Happened by Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi (published May, 2019)
*A literary evening of poetry performances and readings

For additional information, registration fees and any other queries, please contact us on:

Email:info@africanwriterstrust.org |kizzaatawt@gmail.com

Telephone number: +256 752 570573

Post: P.O Box 6753, Kampala, Uganda

Website: www.africanwriterstrust.org

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Travel

FACING LAKE VICTORIA

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*This was in the traffic jam 😀 *

Sunday, 4th November

I thought I was calm and composed about this trip. I wasn’t telling the world about it nor was I counting down the hours to the minute I board the plane. However, yesterday night I woke up thrice, went and put on the lights then went back to sleep. Woke up again and went back and put off the lights. The third time I put on the lights again. It was a very restless night. I woke hours later checked my phone, it read 5:33 a.m. I hurried to wake my dad’s room and informed him he is late for the morning prayer. My mother asks, “How comes we are not hearing the prayer going on in the mosque?”

“Perhaps they are done.”

My father wakes up and checks his phone.

“It is 3:33 a.m. not 5:33”

“Really?! But I HEARD the prayer going on in the mosque! And my phone confirmed that!”

“It is 5:33. Go back to sleep.”

I go back to my room and check the phone. It is truly 3 a.m. I sigh.

Anxiety Mahn 😀 I should have known that staying calm for me is impossible. But would you blame me really?

This was my first time being invited for an international writing workshop. A publishing fellowship by African Writers Trust (AWT).

First time meeting writers from different parts of Africa.

First time going to Uganda.

First time meeting the writing/publishing gurus.

First time boarding the plane.

Keep calm? Not a word in my dictionary.

The flight was amazing apart from the dizziness whenever the plane bumped a bit. My mother said I’ll be fine during my second flight. I wasn’t. During both the flights I was still holding onto the chair, thinking of all the things that could go wrong yet still, I loved it. I realized how underrated the clouds are because I couldn’t stop wondering how nice it would be to touch them and feel them.

We arrive at Country Lake Resort Garuga in Entebbe around lunch hour. I quickly go to my room to drop off my things. The room is big. The bed is bigger; I could have five mini-mes sleeping on the same bed. It has a small, lovely balcony that faces some tall trees and smaller plants. Perfect place for a cup of coffee. Only that I don’t drink coffee and I am scared of being alone in this room and in this balcony precisely. The silence is deafening and the trees seem to be whispering. I don’t know to whom precisely but they are definitely creepy.

I take a walk around the big resort and it is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. This place is the definition of art and nature. Definitely the best place to bring writers to, and family, and your friends and everyone else. Everyone should see this place. It faces the majestic and grand lake Victoria and words can’t explain how breath-taking it is. Someone should sponsor me a ‘vacation’ to write a book over here. The air just clears your head and that obviously makes it the best place to think, contemplate and come up with the best ideas. I salute the one who chose this location for this workshop. And the owner is definitely a genius!

I go back into my room as soon as the sun set.

Now here’s the thing, I come from a big family so there was never a time I was ever alone by myself. Almost never. At first I was excited about experiencing this but dark has set in and sleep doesn’t seem to be coming anytime soon despite my exhaustion. My heart keeps racing and I am a nervous wreckage right now like a character in a thrilling story. So much suspense with no climax. So I’m just here staring around in all corners, saying lots of duas and breathing deeply while under my blanket. Qur’an is playing from my laptop at the background. The lights are on. I want to sleep now.

Monday, 5th November

Last night I dreamt of some people breaking into my room. My big, lovely, beautiful room. The room that should see no harm yet people still found a way to break into my room out of the many rooms in this big resort. Only it was a dream; a long one nonetheless. I curse anxiety. Wouldn’t let me enjoy the serenity even.

I leave the room around 6:30 a.m. to watch the sunrise. A divine scene. Stunning. Spectacular. *Inserts all the synonyms of breath-taking* It is so beautiful I want to cry. I want to cry because I haven’t felt this kind of warmth in a very long time. Just chirping of the birds, the calm sea, the silence, the peace. And no people!! Oh the peace! I couldn’t get enough of it. But today was the day. The D-day. The start of the workshop and I had to fully prepare for it.

It is not every day you meet legends especially all in one place. Ellah Wakatama Allfrey, founding publisher of Indigo Press from the UK, Demere Kitunga, a publisher, mentor and translator from Tanzania and Catherine Mark, a writer and a poet from the UK as well. Mama Goretti who is the founder of AWT. All these fellows from Africa. All with very valuable experience and knowledge and mistakes to learn from.

We had 18 fellows from Uganda, Kenya, Rwanda, Ethiopia, Sudan and Tanzania. I was among the 3 Kenyans selected and the youngest, or at least among the youngest. This calls for a celebration.

Everyone introduces themselves and what brought them to the workshop. We have publishers in the room, editors, writers, poets and trainers. I am overwhelmed with all the stories from everyone. No one’s had it easy. No one just woke up and had an empire ready. It is really REALLY inspiring and definitely makes me more hopeful for the future and the future of my group in Mombasa ‘Creative Writers League’.

The Magnificent Ellah Wakatama starts off on the editors role and the different kinds of editors in the publishing world. I am amazed. So many things I had NO idea of. For example, I never knew there were so many different editors each with their own specific role. Or that even in poetry, there’s a specific way of arranging the poems such that they be in sync with each other and flow perfectly. The group works are mind-blowing and eye-opening. We go on with the life cycle of the book and many other interesting issues about bringing a book to life. The food is tasty. The interactions are hilarious and lovely!

I am exhausted but what I’ve learnt in this single day is more than I ever taught myself in all these years as a writer.

Tuesday, 6th November

It rained heavily last night and there was thunder too. I was scared of course. Is that even a question?! When one of our sweet facilitators mentioned how she hid under the bed and was praying desperately when she heard the thunder because they don’t have thunder where she lives, I was relieved 😀 I am not the only scared freak.

Today we critically analyzed some short stories and it was so remarkable how you notice a lot more things when you read a story out loud and break it down into chunks and pieces. Even more interesting is how each one of us view the same things in very different ways and how one’s favourite story turns out to be the least liked for someone else.

We learn a lot more on roles, structuring, responsibilities, planning and several other important aspects of editing.

Wednesday, 7th November

I am a regular morning walker now, plus I got a partner to watch the sunrise with. It was the only thing I kept asking everyone about. Have you seen the sunrise?! Oh you don’t know what you’re missing out on! So Rachel, the program organizer joined me. Then she joined me for the evening walks. And all the time walks. It wasn’t just about the walks though. It was more about the deep talks we’d have any time we were together. Rachel and I connected immediately and I really appreciated it because I rarely have such profound bonds with people.

The learning is going on. A lot of questions, discussions and comments. Every creative needs such a space honestly. This is like meeting your long lost family because you automatically belong. You find your people and you understand one another. How beautiful is that?!

Thursday, 8th November

Mama sent me an email via my sister because she was worried, she couldn’t find me on phone the whole day. This is despite me informing her upfront that the wifi is poor and I have little access to the internet. But I get it. I am highly likely going to do the same to my children. I am my mother’s daughter and anxiety runs in the family 😀 But I am also daddy’s girl because he is very patient and understanding. I mean, when I woke him up at 3 a.m. he wasn’t angry despite him loving his sleep a lot. He said ‘You were anxious’ when I wanted to apologize the next morning. I think I’m the perfect combination of my parents. An anxious wreck with a lot of understanding. The most patient, impatient person on earth. 😀 I am a living paradox.

Today, I come to the realization that we, as creatives, have the same similar struggles despite living in different countries and having different backgrounds. One of the fellows mentioned he would charge 1 $ for a full-day training yet only five people came. And I was like, ‘Same here bro. Same here.’ Another lady also mentioned on the same struggle of acquiring trainees for writing. It is such a shame that we have so much talent within us yet still choose to sit on it because the training ‘is expensive.’ It is mostly a matter of priority and we choose to keep our talents out of the priority lists entirely. How sad.

In the afternoon we meet another creatives’ group sponsored by British council at a different resort. It was nice since they had visual artists and graphic designers that we didn’t have in our group. A great network opportunity for everyone. Lots of laughter, pictures and sharing of contacts.

Friday, 9th November

Adrenaline. There’s something about adrenaline that I love. The thrill of it. The shouting-on-a-roller-coaster feeling. The sky-diving feeling. That makes me an adrenaline junkie I guess. But I’m also a stress junkie so you see the irony there 😀 More of a dilemma on what really makes me who I am.

Two of our fellows are ahead of us, Hiwot from Ethipia and Lucky Grace from Rwanda. Its their first time on the bodaboda and you can see it on their faces the tension. I laugh. I laugh because I have been on the bodaboda before, several times and i’m still scared; of it. But I’m seated with Fatma from Sudan who has also never boarded one. I feel like the hero in this case. Behind us is Rachel and Abu Amirah who are used to bodabodas but then they shouldn’t ruin my feeling of being the hero here. So I tap the bodaboda guy and ask him to go past our fellows ahead of us. I keep nagging him to go faster. Fatma laughs, “Do you want to kill us?!” just as we go past them and I am shouting to them ‘Byeeee.’

“This is the moment you shout ‘wohoooo'”

She just laughs. We are in the interior side of Entebbe with so many trees around us and barely anyone passing by.

“Seriously…” I tell her.

“You start,” she says.

I have never been an influence in my life. At least not on the silly stuff. I just do it myself.

“I do it then you do it,” I tell her and she nods.

So I scream ‘Wohoooo’ as my sound disappears into the bushes, air kissing our faces. She just laughs.

I am disappointed. “You are supposed to be my partner in crime.”

“Okay let’s do it again. On the count of three. I…2…3…wohooooo”

We both shout but I can only hear her voice under her breath. I am probably the bad influence here because Fatma is extremely quiet and introverted like Hiwot. They both smile so sweetly, very lovely souls and it is very evident with how they carry out themselves.

I always thought I was an introvert until I met them. The other night we sat by the sunset deck watching the stars and I was talking a lot until I realized how quiet the two of them were. Each was just staring into the horizon, each in their own world. I was the noise maker and I’ve never really been a noise maker with anyone except people i’m really comfortable with. Man, I need a different identity. I am not introvert.

Anyway so Fatma asks me we do the titanic pose as the bodaboda speeds on and we stretch our arms open. She is learning 😀

We are heading to Kampala and the journey is so long. Rachel, who is Ugandan, volunteered to be our tour guide and took us for shopping. Kampala pretty much looks like Nairobi. From the crowds to the chaos to the jam. The JAM! Took us two hours to get back to Entebbe. The Jam was so bad the driver would frequently put off the engine as we wait.

This was our last day of the training. The week went so fast or maybe it was just too wonderful it should have lasted a month?! It was sad parting ways with fierce individuals, lovely souls and very hardworking people. The Ugandans checked out the same day, leaving the international visitors who are to check out the next day.

Saturday, 10th November

We (the Kenyans) are leaving this morning together with the Tanzanians. Hiwot, Rachel and Lucky Grace came to say goodbye and Fatma was overtaken by her sleep so we didn’t get to say our farewell.

I wish I could stay at this place longer. The solace you feel here is tremendous. Psychiatrists and psychologists should prescribe a visit to this place as part of the therapy sessions. Like ‘Mandatory vacation at the Country Lake resort Garuga-Uganda. Failure to do so may lead to increment of number of days at the resort.’ Plus it will be lovely if they sponsor the vacations. Can we get an ‘ameen?’ 😀

I have learnt a lot from our great facilitators and honestly from all the fellows. I was quite moved by everyone’s passion to make a difference and especially for the facilitators who come from far just to give back to the society. Mama Goretti and her AWT team did everything so perfectly, no one could complain. I mean, this is the most organized and timely event/workshop I’ve ever attended, special thanks to Rachel for ensuring the anxious me has nothing to worry about 😀

Our trip to the airport is rather quiet. I remember when we were first coming to Entebbe and the three of us (Kenyans) had EVERYTHING to talk about. We were so excited and thrilled, we talked the whole way. KK (Kingwa) comments on how silent we are in contrast with how we came. We all laugh. We are already feeling nostalgic of the place and all the people we met. Most importantly, there’s a lot of restructuring, planning and changes to be made in our writing careers. A lot to think about.

This will be quite a tiring journey since we have to stop by Nairobi first before going to Mombasa but I can’t wait to be home. I missed my nephews A LOT and everyone else of course. Plus my mum is waiting for all the details of the entire trip. She loves details. I love details. Did I say I am my mother’s daughter?

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Creative Non-Fiction

14 TIPS FOR ASPIRING WRITERS

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God knows I’m not an expert to be writing this. Not even close. I’m not Stephen King or Khaled Hosseini or Paulo Coelho or Chimamanda or any of these madly talented writers. Did I mention J.K. Rowling? But I have stumbled my way for so long in my writing journey like a drunkard, stepping on grammar thorns and hitting on plot poles. So yeah, I’ve done a lot of mistakes and I’ve learnt a lot from different writing gurus and fellows. They say, you learn best from a person who has come face to face, touched and embraced the failure wholly (of course I embraced it then made my lemonade out of it). I think I can share with fellow aspiring writers some tips that will help as you start/continue with your writing career.

1. WRITE:

The only way to become a great writer is by LITERALLY writing. There are no short cuts to this. Reading ten or even a hundred books on how to write won’t make you any better writer if you don’t take that pen and start scribbling. Writing guides will of course be really helpful in showing you the direction, but the rest is entirely upon you. Write that story you’ve always wanted to write. Write that very badly written poem. However much awful your piece will be, it will still be better than nothing at all. After writing it, don’t immediately throw it away. Keep it safe for some hours or days, then revisit it and go through it again. You might have some new ideas on how to improve your piece.

2. WRITING IS RE-WRITING:

Ask any writer/poet in the world, even the most famous one, they’ll tell you the same thing; writing is re-writing. You can’t have perfection from the word go. You can’t write one story and be frustrated that it isn’t how you want it to be. Calm down mate, this thing needs patience here. As we say here in Mombasa, ‘hii kitu haitaki hasira’ ama vipi? Every beautiful thing takes some time to be fully formed or functional or complete. So write, re-read it, make changes. Give it a break, go through it again. Add new ideas. Like that until you are finally satisfied with what you have in hand. If you’re a perfectionist, the process might make you crazy so it would be nice if you seek assistance from someone else that you trust, which brings me to my third point.

3. DON’T BE SHY TO SEEK HELP:

However rowdy and unappealing your story seems, don’t be shy to send it to someone you trust. NOTE, I said someone you trust i.e. they have good judgement in what a good story looks like, they have good insights and if they are grammar nazis that’s even better. (Grammar Nazi definition by Urban dictionary: One who uses refined vocabulary, correct grammar, constantly finds themselves correcting grammar and spelling (in forums, chatrooms, tumblr, YouTube, etc.) These people will ruthlessly point out all the grammar massacres you committed. Don’t take it personally, deep deep down they are good people who wan’t the best for you. So don’t get annoyed when they show you your mistakes. Most importantly, it should be someone you trust NOT to steal your piece and use it as their own. If you know someone who has experience in writing or an avid reader, the better. They will be the fresh eyes you need and can honestly tell you their opinions about your writing. Also, don’t send it to nice people who’ll always tell you ‘It’s good.’ Go for the brutally honest ones who will bluntly tell you what is wrong or right about your writing. You need this, trust me, you do. So take heart and swallow the bitter pill for now.

4. ACCEPT POSITIVE CRITICISM POSITIVELY:

Now there’s criticism that is good and healthy. The person correcting you isn’t trying to crash your dreams or ruin your self-confidence. They are just trying to show you how to be a better writer (and this applies to all matters of life as well). They will point out your mistakes and show you how to be better (or not) either way, they are trying to help. Then we have the negative criticism whereby the person is continuously trying to show you how useless you are or untalented. In short, they are just the villains in your story. Make sure to accept only the positive criticism. Remember that the only way for you to grow is to actually learn from your mistakes. And for someone to show you your mistakes they have to brutally honest with you WITHOUT crashing your self-esteem. So long as someone means well, don’t feel bad. Accept the criticism and learn from the mistakes to do better next time. And no, this shouldn’t be an excuse for you to quit writing. As for those who criticize you in a negative way, avoid sending your work to them. If you can’t keep your work away from them maybe because they see it on your social media pages, learn to ignore them without allowing their comments affect you. We all have received these kind of criticisms, so you’re not alone. Stop with the pity-partying and continue writing!

5. EXPERIMENT AND GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE:

Just because you write poetry doesn’t mean you can’t writing something else. Plus, you’ll never know if you can do something else if you haven’t tried it. I for one, never thought I could write in present continuous or in second person until I tried it. I realized I loved it more than writing in past tense or first/third person. So explore, get out of your comfort zone and try writing new things. You could be surprised how you could enjoy or be better in something totally different than what you do now. If you only write travel blogs, take some time to write a fiction piece someday or do a different language blog. Play around with your talent cards until you finally discover what you really love and are comfortable writing about, then embrace that fully.

6. READ:

Honestly, I am a disgrace to the writing community, and that’s because I am not an avid reader. I do read, but not to the extent one would expect from a writer. I source out my inspiration from different things and people, most writers seek it from books (thus making me a disgrace 😀 ) But I’ve made this my personal challenge, to push myself to read as much as I can. Reading opens up your mind to new ideas, new places, new characters and new experiences. We learn from our fellow writers like that and we grow from there. So make it your personal challenge too to read as often as you can and let that inspire you to write more and better.

7. BE AUTHENTIC:

You need to use your own voice. You need to echo out your own dreams, fears, aspirations, struggles, personality and let it reflect in what you write. Be authentic and don’t copy someone’s style. Create your own style, something that you will be remembered for. Be the master of the style you choose. Sometimes your voice could be your humor or your choice of words, or the way you unfold your story. It would be ridiculous if you try to copy J.K. Rowling’s style in Harry Potter to write your own Wizardry book, right? I thought so too. So be yourself, even in your writing. Especially in your writing.
There are several articles and videos talking about voices, how to find and develop your voice in writing so just search for them on google and knock yourself out. However, here is an example of what other writers talked about voice:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-AG6yzJMIE

8. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE:

There are different kinds of writing out there and you need to know about them. This is important because for example, the rules that are there for fiction writing are very different from non-fiction or even poetry. There are similarities of course, but you still need to be aware of what is what before you dive deep into writing. We are on the 21st Century people, what better way to use the free wifi and google than to learn these things? If you google kinds or types of writing right now you’d find MANY articles and videos on the same. Help yourself; do yourself a favour and learn the differences of these writings.

9. HAVE SELF-DISCIPLINE & DO NOT GIVE UP:

This is very very important. Writing is one of those things one can easily push under the bed. It seems the easiest thing to let go of once someone is overwhelmed with their life. Its kind of the same thing with painting or any other kind of art. And I see this all the time. People keep saying, ‘I used to write by the way’ and when you ask what happened the answer is almost the same always; ‘Life happened.’ And when life happens to someone, writing is the first thing we give up on because we think ‘I can live without it’ (for those who don’t pay their bills with writing). Remember when we said, beautiful things take time? All these novels and stories we obsess about, how long do you think it took the writer to write the entire book until it got to you? Many months and sometimes, MANY years. So be patient and keep trying. Don’t say ‘what’s the point if it doesn’t pay my bills right now?’ The point is, you are leaving footsteps behind you. A legacy. You are inspiring people with your stories, and it doesn’t matter if the number of people reading your work are only five. If you are able to create positive change or influence just one person to be better at something or in their lives, that’s a great achievement for anyone. So don’t underestimate your work and write as often as possible. At least every day. Okay, maybe that’s a lot for you. At least a week? Yes, a week is good enough. At whatever cost, push yourself to write as per your schedule (even if it means skipping an hour of sleeping. I mean, we skip sleep to chat. We can do that for writing too right?)

10. SHARE YOUR WORK:

If you leave your stories inside your drawers, they will just get dust and insects will come nibble your masterpieces away. Is that what you want for your masterpiece? Being murdered by tiny insects? Being consumed by a tsunami of dust? Come on. Your voice deserves a place out there. There is a space for your pieces to occupy in this vast world.

Point is, if you don’t let your work out there, you will never know how good and talented you are. You will never know if your stories can emotionally break someone into tears just because of its intensity. You can never know if someone thinks the same way as you do. For you to grow as a writer, take the risk and share the work. Don’t be afraid of ‘not being good enough.’ No one started off being good enough already. They too had to struggle. So share you work; on all kinds of social media, on blogs, in magazines…anywhere you can.

Blogs and websites are great platforms to share you work. If you are just starting of and still unsure on what kind of writing to take up or how often you’d write, you can start off with the free blogs from wordpress or blogspot accounts. If you have a friend or relative with computer/IT knowledge, ask for their help in creating and designing your blog. Again, the internet is right there at our service. You could create your own blog by learning how to do it via google. For example, you could search ‘create a free wordpress blog’ and follow the prompts as directed. Nonetheless, the IT friend can be great help.

Here’s a link to a video that might help: https://winningwp.com/how-to-make-a-free-blog-wordpress-com/

11. MAKE CONTRACTS. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME

I learnt this the hard way, so hear it from me. Do not, and I mean, DO NOT EVER, go for a writing gig without making a contract. It doesn’t matter if the person is a relative, a very good friend or the work is just 500 words. Make a contract! Most artists don’t know what their rights are and thus, many people end up taking advantage or just disappearing with your work or payment. Rather you protect yourself than regret later. Even if it is someone you know very well just say it, ‘No offence but I need a contract for all that we’ve agreed on’. And make sure that indeed, all you agreed on is in the contract and SIGNED by both of you. At least you know if they go against you, you have proof to demand your payment or rights from them. Thank me later!

12. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF:

Just like with everything else in life, we have those who are ahead than others. You probably know of writers who write everyday, maybe 2000 words every morning or so…DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF WITH THEM. Everyone has their own pace with things, so don’t beat yourself for it. Do what you can and do it within your own pace and at your best ability. Don’t let people’s achievements crash you, instead let it be a challenge. Also, don’t force yourself to be like someone else just because ‘they’ve made it’. Remember we talked about having your own voice yeah? So do that. Be self-disciplined, write as much as you possibly can and grow from there.

13. DON’T BE SHY TO AIM FOR THE MONEY

Look, we all are striving and hustling hard to make ends meet. So don’t be apologetic if you are writing simply to earn money or make a career out of it. Don’t be shy or guilty about it. Do your best and achieve your goals yo. Be unstoppable and buy that classy car.

14. FINALLY

I had no point for number 14 but because I am a perfectionist and ending my post with an odd number itches my gut, here is number 14 🙂 All the best in your writing journey and please, please don’t sit or sleep or eat (if there’s anything like that) on your talent.

I hope these will be helpful as you take on your writing journey. Kindly share and subscriibee!! Thank you!

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Inspiration

CURVING MY NICHE

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Almost a week after the publication of ‘Unbroken Wings’, a friend texted me. We were basically internet friends; a fellow blogger and writer and we hadn’t met before. So she congratulated me for my first published book and then went on and said how she wants to be like me someday. After a pause she went on, ‘Life has been so rough. Today I sat in our office toilet crying for like half an hour. It was the only place to run to lol. Part of why I didn’t text earlier…and then the other part is like gosh girl. Look at people publishing books…’ I just listened to her and in my heart I was like, ‘Aww honey…but that isn’t the whole story!’ And I think of how many times we look up to people we assume have succeeded in life, and adore them a lot it tends to make us feel less capable or worthless? I know the feeling…

My first serious attempt to write was in class seven when daily nation had a writing competition of a saga for children. Every week I would take up the challenge but I would just take it to my English teacher to go through it. I went on doing so whilst he directed me and corrected me until one day I said to myself, ‘Until when will I just write for my teacher. Why not submit to the Daily Nation and see how that turns out?’ I did. I never really had any expectations because I was not really one of the best writers in my class. I had the most amazing English teacher who really encouraged us to be storytellers. He would always read the best compositions in class but I wasn’t really one of them. I was somewhere close there but still NOT there. So he would casually mention how my composition was good or sometimes really good but I don’t remember him reading my work in front of the class ever. Yet I still did it continuously, adamantly and persistently.

So my dad delivered my submission at the daily nation offices and a week later, my name was on the newspaper. I wasn’t the winner but they had acknowledged me amongst the youngest writers with strongest submissions. That elated me in ways I can’t define. I was just 12 by then but I decided that this is it. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life (after chemistry and biology shattered my dreams of being a pediatrician 😀 ).

Going into secondary school, I would write every.single.day like a maniac who could only survive by letting those ink drops fill the paper with words. I started writing my first short story, then my second short story then my third poetry collection. I was always writing. Classmates coming by everyday to my desk so that they can read the next paragraph of my story. Soon my friends would have to book to read first before anyone else because the readers were becoming many and it soon spread out to other classes. And despite all that, every time I would take part in a writing competition, I would go to the notice board, scroll down through the names one by one. My name would never be there. My heart would shatter and sometimes I would just sit down and let it sink in, cry, wonder…but why…’If my work was liked by my friends and colleagues, what was I doing wrong?’ I never found out.

I spent those years up and down trying to find publishers for my short stories. I was young and naive. I wouldn’t know who to go to or who to trust. Yet I still tried. Approaching publishers before they disappeared with no word ever again. So I just opted to bring in my friends to help me critique and edit my work. I was always changing, correcting, perfecting; too busy in the editorial club. One time while I was the editor in chief of the editorial club, I met my English teacher who also happened to be my class teacher, on the corridor. She asked me what I was working on and I said some school articles and she said, ‘If you’d put that kind of energy in your studies, you’d be very far in your performance.’ Now, I wasn’t a poor performer. I was an average student who almost worshiped the staff room from the number of visits to make inquiries. But I also knew what I wanted. I wanted to make an impact and my pen was my biggest tool I wasn’t going to give up on, any time soon.

During my final year, our editorial club patron literally had to beg for me to get the ‘Best Writer Award’ because they had entirely left it out. And when that was granted, my assistant was so pissed off and confronted me because ‘her work was better than mine and she deserved it more than I did.’ I went to take that award with a lump in my throat and my heart so heavy. I wasn’t even sure I deserved it.

After high school, everyone wanted me to do something else. ‘Do teaching, do business, do accounts…’ no one really cared that this was the path I had chosen. Having been raised in a county that barely appreciated talent especially writing and who weren’t avid readers, I struggled to block all the negativity being thrown at me (I am glad this is quickly changing now; has been for a while actually.) Yet I still went on to do Journalism and mass communication and managed to come out with First class. During my university years, I was always either making calls, or sending emails or discussing with teachers on how to create a career out of my writing talent. My job application letters to newspapers never got a response for a long while, at one time three of my classmates found me at the library writing another application letter so one of them said, ‘You’re always writing application letters. We are going to finish uni, get jobs and you’d still be writing those letters.’ They all laughed. It was supposed to be a joke so I just smiled. And don’t get me wrong, these were very close friends who helped me a lot before and even after this conversation. But then many people thought it was pointless trying too hard. My university colleagues were enjoying their youth while all they ever saw me do is write and send applications.

Well I did finally land an internship at Coast This Week paper which later on became my job for a year or so…before the paper died. Well it’s a long story but many MANY times after that, I got contracts and I was told I wasn’t good enough. Not creative enough. My work being rejected. My applications being rejected. Not winning competitions etc

It was only after nine years of trying to get my work out there that Unbroken Wings got published. I have been so familiar to failure, to being jobless, to getting soo close to success yet still not succeeding, to being clueless on how to move ahead for too long.

I made sure to meet this lovely writer and we talked for long hours and days. She is very talented this is not even a courteous gesture. Her writings are deep soul food I honestly believe she is a better writer than I am. I wanted her to know that everyone has their own journey. I might have reached here because I started way earlier but everyone gets to their destination in a different way, in a different timeline. Some get lucky and are recognized immediately for their work. Some get lucky, have some connections and make their way easy up there. Some have to struggle and others have to struggle more than others. Don’t look at someone’s achievements. Look at their journey. Ask for their untold stories. Talk to them of their failures and achievements. Yet still, never compare yourself to how far someone seems to have reached.

The truth, this is just the tip of an iceberg. I am not yet where I want to be. I am still struggling to be who I want to be. I wouldn’t have made it here if it weren’t for Allah then the many people along the way who gave me abundant support and love, I can’t thank them enough. As Paulo Coelho says, ‘And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it’.

I really hope whoever wishes to be like me becomes better than me. I hope God grants you the will, the ease and the strength to soldier on in whatever your goals and dreams are. Not necessarily writers only. All the best in your way up there 🙂

***

That aside, as I continue to curve my niche and pursue my goals, I have decided to start doing writing skills training for the Coastal population. Should I promise you it’s going to be educative and fun? You bet! In shaa Allah and the fee is very reasonable too! Check the poster below to have an idea about it.

P.S Jack Ma’s said: I told my son: You don’t need to be in the top three in your class, being in the middle is fine, so long as your grades aren’t too bad. Only this kind of a person (a middle of the road student) has enough free time yo learn other skills…) Now students/workers don’t get me wrong. Work hard in whatever you need to but all i’m saying here, don’t let what keeps your heart alive, die…Go after your dreams!!

Please do share the poster as much as you can and don’t forget to subscribe 🙂 Thanks in advance!

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