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Read part 1 at: http://lubnah.me.ke/my-other-half/

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

It’s been exactly…wait, lemme count…from February 10th, 2015 to date; 11th of May 2017, how many days are those? 1,2,3…Ah too bad I am terrible with math. Anyway, it’s been all those many days since I first wrote to you. Ages right? I knowww! I almost forgot you ‘somehow exist’. Lol, i’m kidding. *silly grin* I’ve mostly been pursuing my dreams; both the daydreams and the literal ones 😀 But I’ve been planning to get back to you..and *drums rolling* here I am!

There’s just been something in my mind lately and I thought of talking it to you. By the way, talking to you almost seems like monologue or like me talking to the wall or some ghost in the room because your existence at the moment is delusional but we can always talk about that when you become a reality right? in shaa Allah 😉

So back to our topic, oh wait, speech alert: This is going to be a long monologue :p

A friend of mine posted this a few days ago:
{“The thing about hitting rock bottom is that the only way to go is up.” I’m having a slight problem with this statement. Okay yeah sure maybe, but what if rock bottom is as wide as the Sahara and before you go up you’re gonna spend a heck of a long time moving sideways? Some people hit rock bottom, and stay rock bottom, and move sideways for the rest of their lives. How miserable.} Those are the ramblings of an insomniac and well what do you expect from an insomniac than a critical out-of-the-world thinking?! But then ever since I came across this, I’ve been thinking about it a lot.

For a matter of fact, I do know several people who hit rock bottom, stayed there for as long as the memory lane can go down and died just right there; at the bottom. Now for a perfectionist and an empath with anxiety, hitting the rock bottom is beyond normal. It is a norm. And as much as it scares me that I might stay down there forever, it scares me more that I might never live up to the expectations of coming right back up.

You know, there are just some days you can’t really be the hero or someone anymore and you just need to survive. And survival is what all of us are working for. But also, survival has always been for the fittest, and sometimes, being in the least bit fit let alone being the fittest is totally out of the dictionary. There are days you wake up you can barely breathe, your heart is heavy, all aspects of failure are rubbing on your face but mostly, its like sand paper being scrubbed on your fragile beaten-up heart. They say the scrub only makes you shine brighter but in the meanwhile, it hurts, and it will hurt a lot more.

What I got to learn is that you can never really be prepared enough to face anything or armed enough for a war. They’ll always be a lesson to be learnt in between the cracks of your heart. You can protect yourself all you can but the day you let down your guard for one single second is the day world war 3 happens; when all hell breaks loose and when you have to fight for your own survival. This kind of reminds me the story of Nabii Musa and Firaun. See how God downplays the best twists?! Firaun demands all male children to be killed after being foretold that a boy will be born and takeover his kingdom. But when his wife Asiya (R.A.A) picks Nabii Musa (A.S) from the river, she is able to convince Firaun that the boy could be beneficial and a son to them. Yet he turns out to be the one to takeover the kingdom. He protected himself from every boy he considered a threat, yet he welcomed the threat with his own two hands. Yes…fate. You can do all you want in this world; you can build walls around yourself, you can be vigilant and firm, you can be superman for all you wish, yet if you are meant to hit the rock bottom, you’ll just go right down there; for as many times as it’s written for you. But the thing is, everyone hits rock bottom, and the real test is how everyone finds their own way to get back up or stay below forever. People will put the blame on you for taking up the wrong choices, for making mistakes, for not working hard enough…yet they forget, it only happens for a reason.


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I’m still finding my way up and i’ll tell you this, it’s tough and really rough. Plus being a millennial only makes it harder. Sometimes I feel I was born in the wrong Century for not relating to my peers. They say i’m an old soul. And when you are an introvert you just have no option but to turn to books and tv, to get out of your world. Some friends the other day were joking that people like us, ‘the outcasts’ should start a group and call it ‘chama cha wanyonge’ 😀 😀 Idiots! or I know someone else who would call it ‘chama cha washokaji’ Not wachokaji, WASHOKAJI. Hilarious how the world views us; the introverts, the artists, the weird, the empaths…right? But maybe i’ll one day really start the group, but of course with a fancy name dah! Or maybe it could be a movement, and we could help people move from rock bottom 😀 Or maybe that’s where i’ll meet you who knows 😛

I’m not sure if you really do exist or maybe you don’t. They say soulmates don’t always occur in this life, maybe in the next…but if you don’t, I have a plan B of going to live up the cave. I would say I will be with my 60 cats like its always the assumption with people but pets scare me (The introverts will disown me for this). So maybe I will be with my scarier dolls like Chucky from Child’s play or Annabelle from The Conjuring filling up the entire house. Plus I got this brilliant idea from a meme of writing it on the wall outside: COME SEE MY DOLLS..and that’s how the horror movie begins *silly grin*

Well, I said what I needed to say. Thank you for being a wonderful listener. Plus please do remember to pray for me; to rise like the phoenix from the ashes. Ameen? I really don’t want to stay rock bottom, who wants anyway?!

P.S. You are the hope i’m waiting for 🙂

Until God decides our fate, take care.


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By: Abdulqadir Mahmoud via http://selfcharge.blogspot.co.ke/

Photo Courtesy: Daily Mail

 
I used to believe in love.

Now, am not so sure.

After a tale like that, you’d want to hitch a home and get married ASAP. I know I did. So calm your nerves and take a few, breathe, you’re going to need it.

One word, Society.

This, simply put, is a realm where people and humans cross each other’s paths. This realm has some rules, which are said to have been conjured from the invisible Book of Norm. They are responsible for guarding and guiding these creatures with their powers of Thought Action to protect these paths and their takers. But something’s gone terribly wrong…And no one is aware of this to know it…

With the introduction of technology in to this realm, the creatures started showing rapid interaction progressions. What they could do in a weeks’ time, they did in an hour. It was amazing. It was impossible. But something happened after a while of this exposure. The creatures, the humans, they started evolving. As more records of interaction were continuously broken, more and more humans started to evolve gradually turning in to a new unknown species…turning into People.

It was not long before this new species of humans started reporting cases of memory loss, depleted senses, irregular tendencies and even personality erosion and finally, they stop reporting…just, Silence. When they were followed up, they just sat there, staring, with no expression on their faces, no emotion, their eyes empty with clouds of sadness…they had lost who they were…they were simply, gone…

The other Humans quickly started taking action to this new phenomenon. Research was launched to analyze this evolution, quarantines put up, drills taught to subdue this new infection. Panic, there was panic, worry, anxiety, depression…everything was going haywire because no matter what they did, it never stopped…just kept spreading, like light moving through the medium-less space, evolving the humans, one by one, into nothingness…into people.

The whole human species was now heading to its doom. Some decided to abandon ship and live in desert islands. Some just waited for the day they would turn into one of them, helplessly, as they watch their evolved versions walk around aimlessly, bumping into anyone and everyone they met within this realm, tangling their paths with theirs, spreading the contraction… Wait, their paths, that’s it! Alas, for they were looking in the wrong direction the whole time.

They finally figured out that what was spreading the contraction wasn’t the people, but their paths. Somehow this exposure to technology found a way to corrupt the rules in the invisible Book of Norm. And with a corrupt guiding and guarding system of interaction, the Thought Action powers of the rules corrupted every other interaction and thus, the contraction spread onto the humans, uninterrupted, without them even knowing.

They had done it. They had finally figured out what was happening. They had finally found out what was wrong. Everything will be okay, we made it, we’ll be fine, we can put an end to this.

Those were the last words they said. Nothing was ever heard from them thereafter. And now, no one knows where they went, where they are. The humans disappeared. They were gone.

The news spread of their success and the new species, People, they reacted. They were furious. Their faces were transformed into anger. Their mouths spoke words not heard of. Their bodies tensed in protection, in defense, guarding their attachment…they were now monsters. But their eyes, their eyes never changed… Empty. Sad. Almost as if they cried for help. Yes, they cried for help. They had no control of who they were anymore. They were helpless….Who is going to save them?

Where is everyone?

Is there anyone out there?

Am all alone…

Can you help me?

Anyone?

Please!

Stop staring and say something!

Please…

Am all alone…

Please…

Please…..

One word, Society.

This, simply put, is a realm where people and humans cross each other’s paths. This realm has some rules, which are said to have been conjured from the invisible Book of Norm. They are responsible for guarding and guiding these creatures with their powers of Thought Action to protect these paths and their takers. But something’s gone terribly wrong…And no one is aware of this to know it…

Stay tuned for part 3…

By: Anonymous

Photo Courtesy: pinterest.com

Dear future hubby,

Assalam aleykum, how are you doing? Ok to clear the air, this letter is not meant to make you show up earlier, you can take your time. Besides, we have heard enough weddings recently already. People need a break, let weddings be out of fashion then we can bring it back to fashion with our wedding 😉

I am not going to narrate to you how our married life is going to be or how I would like it to be. The truth is that, there is no really knowing what to expect when it comes to marriage and I know nothing about marriage coz obviously I have never been married before. I am not sure about you; with the number of proposals I have been getting for second wife position, I have reasons to think you might know something about marriage. Anyway I will tell you something about being single. Being single is fun, freeing, finding yourself, less responsibility and much less consequences and duties; but it gets lonely sometimes and you find yourself writing letters to some virtual unknown individual.

After reading loads of wattpad muslim romantic story; I have thought of you in differect perfect ways. But then I just realized, perfect and imperfect don’t suit each other, don’t look good together and also I really want to get married to a human not a robot. (Though robots aint perfect either, they are ugly and have robot hands). And now I think of you as you. I have been trying this technic of seeing you in me. I try picturing you with my imperfections, which you may or may not posses and I have concluded if I can live with me, then I can definitely live with you. I can live with a pool of water all over then sink and dirty laundry carpeting my bedroom, I think. Coz I have seen many happy marriages and what they will tell you is you learn to accept the others faults that can’t be changed.

So it will be a learning process. I will learn to love you, to accept you and to care for you in the best way possible. And I can only pray that you will do the same for me. The phrase being used too often is, marriage is not a walk in the park. As I can totally understand that living with another human being from a different back ground can be challenging, I like to believe that marriage is not like climbing Mt. Everest in slippers. In our single lives we have challenges that we deal with every day, some which may be harder than living with a stranger; that is life. We are constantly being tested and facing challenges; thus I don’t expect my marriage to be any different. There will be tests in different forms and shapes, I hope every difficult will bring us much closer as oppose to drawing us apart. I pray that the challenges, just as they make you stronger in life, will make our marriage bond stronger.

I always joke about getting married to a tall guy. And the other day the optician told me I should consider someone who does not use glasses if I don’t want to end up with blind kids. Now the latter one is of concern. My point being, physical attraction is important in marital relationship but there are far much important things to look at. So I hope you are a struggling muslim like I. Someone struggling to know Allah and constantly finding ways to get closer and closer to Him. To earn His love, His pleasure, His Jannah in shaa Allah. That is what will make me be attracted to you the most before your height. Height is just a bonus.

Well I don’t remember again why I was writing to you, may be just to let you know that someone is constantly praying for you to show up so that she can have a best friend of her own, someone to share her dreams, hopes, fears and laughter with. Whether near or far, may you reach me at the right time, through the right channels in shaa Allah. I will be writing you more letters when I get to know who you are, I just love being old school.

Signed with love,

Your future wife.

By: Husna Lali

 

Dear mini-halfies,

Due to contigency purposes, I felt the need to address certain issues that are not too ephemeral to be discussed and analysed in accordance to the “parenting book.”

You need to know, if Twitter and Facebook still exists or maybe new social networks of your time have the ‘trend’ thingy, you will suffer the ordeal of trending #growingupwithstrictparents. See your aunts (your uncles’wives) say am the strict one. In my defence, I wanted your then little cousins to grow up true to themselves. This pretty much lets you know that if I was strict then, you guys stand absolutely no chance of having it easy.

Not to scare you guys or ‘hate’ on me for that matter, but to make you realize what you’re really made of.

I want you guys to grow up morally stable, have buckets full of self esteem and have complete faith on what you can be up against.I mean I would take kindness over smart any day any time, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be hard on you so you can be able to realize when someone needs you and when someone  uses you to accrue their needs. I would love for you guys to grow up with your own definition of personality and not what society makes you, because trust me when I tell you from my experience that she is one hypocritical and double standard bitch. She’ll tell you to be yourself and then judge you for it. So I want you to do what your gut and what your Deen says is right. (Praying hard I do good by you when it comes to your Deen and its teachings)

 

I will base this entire letter to you for when you’re a teenager to young adult period because it is the hardest of all phases of growth and development. I remember this one time your aunts,uncles and I pissed off dad so much while we were under his care so he went “Amma give each one of you an equal share of the estate and what you do with it will be non of my concern and do not look for me when you’re sucked dry.” So you get how serious shit becomes when we’re there.

 

I wanna raise you guys equally, without favoring any of you according to gender. And am not talking feminism, am talking equal chances and belief that you can pull of whatever you’re supposed to. Of course I will always be there to help out.

 

I wanna be there for you, you know how people say they wanna be bestfriends with their kids? I wanna be that too, but that does not mean I will let you do stuff just because you’ll  be mad at me. I wanna be that friend who’s older…I reckon you know how that works. I will not be upset that you find it easier to talk to your friend or even your dad (God bless that poor soul). I just want you to know that I will always be there for you…at all times.

 

Dear XY, you know how they say guys should man up…I don’t want you to hold back stuff just because you feel its a guy thing. There is no such thing as a guy thing when it comes to feelings, whether positive or negative. I want you to feel with every fibre of your being and act on them as wisely as it should be (Again, friendly reminder that I will always be there to help you sort out on your own terms with alittle help…two heads are better than one…or this case three…supposing your dad needs to be involved.)

 

I know we’d fight…and we’d fight alot because when you turn 13 or so and that voice of yours breaks and becomes the ugliest of all bass notes and your shoulders go all broad, you’d think for yourself that ‘you’re the man’. I want you to keep in mind that to me you’re still that little boy I spent nights nursing because dammit you lots’ immunity is as low whatever you can take for a simile…and if need be amma scruff you by your collar like a cat does it’s kitten and lead you back to your room so you figure your shit out and set it straight. You will not get an upper hand or the advantage over your sister(s) and that just because you’re male, you dominate the household or will have an excess of the freedom allowed. I will try my best to raise you and your sisters to be equally responsible to your actions.

I know I cannot talk much about you, because norms depict that you’re your dad’s responsibility. I, however would like to tell you that you can come to me when something is off and not working out. Like I said before about manning up. I don’t care what ‘the male code’ dictates…I want you to talk to me about how Math and Physics are not your favorite subjects and how painting or writing gives you the serenity your heart and soul needs. I want to be there for you when that girl you like friend zones you or she breaks your heart by cheating on you. (I pray I would’ve done good by you so you know your priorities…but this is an unavoidable phase you’ll pass anyway.) And when this phase reaches, I want you to tell your testosterone levels to take down a notch. I would not want to find out you played someone’s daughter and made her literally feel like someone is shovelling out her heart. I would want you to honour girls….because reflect on where you came from. I wanna instil in you the knowledge that a lady is far more superior to you in all aspects except perhaps BMR and body builds. I want to teach you to be humble and not be lied to by the fact that gender is basing you superior. I want to teach you nobility and load you with respect to anyone and everyone. I want you to be the  son and the brother your sibling(s), your dad and I will be proud of. I want you to grow up being able to act wisely and use your brain and sometimes heart where need be. Trust me when I say you will clash alot with your dad, and probably feel misunderstood; and out of rage and spite you’d want to get back at him. My brothers used to keep their hair to weird levels or go shave weird and dad would be so mad he would tell mum “zungumza na mwanao, mwambie staki kumuona ndani ya nyumba yangu with that haircut.”(😂😂😂) See that’s our predicament. Us women are that unlucky…when you guys turn out good…you’re your dad’s boys…and when it’s the other way around…it’s the mother’s boys and fault the boys turned that way. I want you to know how to work on the issues…I am 80% sure you’d not want to discuss stuff with me because “moooom it’s gross.” I just need you to know you can talk to me about it. I will try giving you a hint here…if you’re  probably too embarrassed to ask…just ask anyway…instead use a third party or ask in hypothetical sense. Or find another way to ask me to talk to you about it. ( I know you’re a smart kid, and you will get the message delivered.) I do not want to overtake your dad’s responsibility or share on how to teach you stuff. I just want you to know that I will help you whenever there’s a fog of tension between you two. I promise to sit us both down and talk and smooth issues over. No judgements no blaming whatsoever. We would both accept and own up to our mistakes and apologize where necessary.

 

Dear XX, apparently norm and culture has it that you’re to be raised in an uptight lifestyle. I hope and pray that I would’ve done good by you on Deen too so you know when and when not to act impulsively. I will tell you one thing, Your grandfather, we grew up almost unable to differentiate whether it was respect or fear we had for him. Am not saying he was a bad person, he was sooo great I spent half the time wishing and praying I got a husband like him (No offence XY snr if you didn’t turn out like him…you’re probably greater than him.) My dad, he used to be strict and very opinionated sometimes, like he would say he’s letting you speak up your terms when you argue about something, but do what he feels like because it’s right. I know in his perspective it was, and so help us God it could be he was right and I was wrong, but I promise I would back you up on what we agree to agree on or agree to disagree on. Again about equal chances with your brother(s)….I will try hard to keep my word. I will not judge you by “your dressing is immoral because your bra strap is showing or your head scarf is off the scale and let his boxer be seen because he decided he’ll pull his trouser ‘a little down’ or put on a t-shirt sooo tight it makes his chest cavity suffocated….(none of you are doing this under my watch btw, or whatever would be trappily trendy in your generation) Or let him have a girlfriend and then be up my sleeve when you have a crush on this cute guy from school or Madrasa and want to pursue him. (Again I pray that I would’ve done good by you when it comes to Deen. May Allah make it easy for both of us)

 

Sometimes I feel bad for you because your grandmother and I were soo close. We would talk from boys to life, to how I felt that she was being mean or hard on me . (This does not mean there were times we did not have heated arguments that lead to me shutting the door and blast my phone high up on  music.) You know how you have an argument and when it’s over you wish you should’ve said something ‘better’ as a comeback? She used to come back waaaaay after the “war” was over and start from A. Sometimes you just let her talk, vent out…so you just say ‘ma…sema audhubillah…or sometimes I would go with ‘oe cheki ma, me naenda zangu…ukijiskia ushacool call me’ and that automatically shut her up. When we didn’t get along (for one reason or another) I complained alot to my late aunty Zou (‘O Allaah, forgive and have mercy upon her, excuse her and pardon her, and make honorable her reception. Expand her entry, and cleanse her with water, snow, and ice, and purify her of sin as a white robe is purified of filth. Exchange her home for a better home, and her family for a better family, and her spouse for a better spouse. Admit her into the Garden, protect her from the punishment of the grave and the torment of the Fire.’ Ameen) and she used to tell me mzoee/muelewe mama…she’s getting old…and she used to tell me stories of how she felt way back on how mom treated her because she was basically raised by her; and she would tell me that it was for my own good because “look how great I turned into” Enough about the bad sides yeah? Because if I am to count, the best of my memories includ mom in them. And I love her alot for her existence. I pray I become a better mother to you.

 

I know there is going to be a time your friends will seem to understand you more than any one of us in the house. You will probably have fights with me. It could be something as trivial as not leaving the dirty clothes in the laundry basket, or as huge as you skipping classes because your favourite artist is in town. (I hope we never get there.) We could fight endlessly but at the end of the day I want to be the one you wanna talk it out with. There are probably times when you’re all grown up and start falling for guys. I will not judge you for it, because it’s a normal thing. I know you’d go lengths to pursue your feelings. Fine too but please be cautious. I know you’d deny it when I will confront you about it, for reasons you know best. (I know it could be because you’re afraid am gonna take away your electronics or stalk you or whatever method parents will be using then but i want you to know, I will be there for you. P.S I know I will totally disapprove you getting into a relationship, I don’t even need to sugar coat it but we will work it out together and resolve it to the best way possible) When it happens and doesn’t work out as planned, say this guy you sort of like did something to hurt you and you’re too proud to talk to me because you know I will obviously hit you with the mother of all I TOLD YOU SO’s…I want you to know that I will not let you cry yourself to sleep. I will let you cry, but I will also be there ready to take you out for ice-cream or whatever junk that will make you feel better.

I know you’ll have friends, and you will probably have get togethers or need to ‘chill’ and get those squad selfies because squad goals? Yeah… I want you to know that there are times I will tell you no, and I would expect you to accept and cooperate. Okay? If you ask me why I will not tell you it’s because you’ve gone out alot lately, but you will have to have earned the permission. Take it like positive and negative conditioning….where one gets rewarded for something or gets their rewards taken away for a wrong they did or a right they did not do. Again I know we will fight alot here but it is what it is. Hail Sigmund Freud! (Don’t worry, this will serve both you and XY)

Still on the fights between you and I, I want us both, after a time out and each of us has had their clarity and sanity back to face and own up to our mistakes. We would both or one of us say something hurtful to the other. I want us to work it out together. Please do not walk out on me when we’re in between an argument. Please lets consider and reverse the situations. I know I will give you the chance to speak out your mind and we can even point out each others mistakes (Tactics on the how to will come when the need be.) I want us to have a family where no ones opinion is undermined or stepped on or considered irrelevant. There are times I am probably going to be the hugest pain in the butt and even my breathing near you would be so annoying, I want you to know those are just hormones. You’d probably be wondering why I am stressing so much on fights…this is because I have had a share of living with my parents, and when I complained because I felt misunderstood Fatma( I hope and pray you get to meet her…amazing lady…God bless her) would tell me after giving birth to your own child, you get to see life in your mom’s eyes and you’d never wish to say or do anything to hurt her feelings. This sort of seeped through and I tried hard when we argued with mom to try to understand her…but sometimes shit happens and you just get out of control. I wanna let you know that you would not know this by then and God knows I did not know anything about mothering when I wrote you this letter, but I hope our fights will not escalate to points where you’d wanna leave and be somewhere without your family. Because I love you that much. Even if I did not say it when we were fighting. I would not want to make you cry or you me…because I am not sure if there’s ever coming back from that. I remember one day mum said/did something that I felt so hurt by it I ended up saying wallahy sikusamehi…I immediately regretted saying that because there was that pained look on her face. It was soooo down and deep it made me want to turn back time and take back my words but Alas! God knows she probably would’ve given anything for me to say I didn’t mean it and by God I did(mean it at that moment); but it was too little too late. So yes…I would like for us to measure our words and be cautious of what we throw at each other.

 

I wanna teach you both to live by your Deen and follow rasoul’s teachings. I don’t know alot of stuff but I know some stuff…and I would want you to learn from me and your dad. I wanna be the mother you mini-halfies would be proud to have. I wanna teach you so many things that if I were to count I would probably bore you to the core, but I want us to teach us all the things and everything we know. But most of all I wanna teach you to be your true self.  This lady on Instagram (@nikitagill) I like once wrote about colors and she went ahead and wrote “This world isn’t made of shades of gray. It is made of colors like azure and coral and emerald and marigold, but it insists on painting everything in black and white and fitting it into boxes that it understands. Do not do that to yourself. Paint your personality a million different colors. Leave them scratching their heads, unsure of how to handle the magic that you are.” It is okay to be weird or odd or depressed or schizoic or introverted,to be happy, sensitive, meek and all other adjectives that are deemed unnormal by society because it means you’re human and a classic one because the rest are all basic. It means you can feel and that is all that is important and matters. I will tell you while growing up I was different. I still am but that did not make me live up to people’s expectations, because at the end of the day they will still judge you; and since that b#$ch judges your character and personality by your parents-and not considering in mind that you guys probably spend many hours away from us-I give you guys permission to be whatever you want. I want you to be shy but bold, to be quiet but at the same time speak up, to be feeble but by all means courageous all the way and to never let any muģgle put you dow; because darlings, you’re the incomprehendable galaxy in the universe that is my life. I wanna teach you guys all the rhymes, read books to you (doesn’t matter religious or otherwise)play board games or weird games I got on TV shows like ‘Pictionary’ or ‘I spy with my little eye’. I know there is a time you guys will grow up and everything we used to do together will feel childish, but I want you to remember that it is what brought us together in the first place. I do not want you kids to drift away from me your dad and among yourselves and seek solace in friends and get safe havens that do not include me and/or your dad and sibling(s). I mean I get why you would want friends…but I want you to know that I will always be there when you come back from that rough phase you had to encounter and I promise to work it out together. I love you. I have loved you even before I was sure I was gonna have you, but that’s not the point. I want this letter to be a reminder to me too. I want it to be a reminder of how I longed for you. I want it to be a reminder for me, for when I am about to give up on you guys.( I pray we don’t get there…Allahumma Ameen). I want it to be a reminder to you, that if we ever have a fight and you wanna give up on me…remember I thought of this way before I even met the guy you call dad and wrote you this way before I got married to the guy you call dad. I want you to know that I was once your age…and I probably went through this phase rougher than you because I perhaps never got to work things out with my parents. I want you to know that I was afraid for you. Still am. It is a maternal feeling and I sort of know this because God let me witness what parenting is all about with your cousins before I got to have you guys. I want to let you know that there is nothing I won’t do to see you happy (obviously you misbehaving while at it doesn’t count). And last but not least…and probably the most important of all things, I wanna leave you with this hadith

ﺃﻛﺜﺮ ﻣﺎ ﻳﺪﺧﻞ ﺍﻟﺠﻨﺔ ﺗﻘﻮﻯ ﺍﻟﻠﻪ ﻭﺣﺴﻦ ﺍﻟﺨﻠﻖ

I want you to live by this hadith…or at least try your very best to live up to this hadith…because Jannah is our final destination. May Allah re-unite us all in Jannah.

 

 

Lots of Love,

MOM

(Yeah I know at this age you’d probably be tired of all my “nagging and constant rants” you’d be calling me “birthgiver” well guess what….I am okay with whatever makes you feel great about yourself 😂)

P.S I love you alot and may Allah be with you throughout😍😍😍

By: Hanan Barre

As a child, the world was a simple place. Everything was in black and white, and a distinct line in between. The good and the bad. Two distinct groups. No in-between. The villain would always be obvious, he’d be defeated by the hero and the world a safe place again. Happily ever after was possible and good would always triumph. Faith ran high. 

As I grew up, that line blurred and  the world greyed. The villain could be staring me right in the face and I wouldn’t know it. The “heroes” were subjective to personal opinion. My “hero” could be your villain. Everyone was fighting their own battle and the only victory anyone cared about was their own.

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Unity and working for the good of the community became pretty non existent. My faith in the world waned. I came to terms with the fact that my prior beliefs in humanity and working for a greater good were delusions, and my dream of a better world fantasy. There was no hero in this story,just different levels of villainy. Everyone working towards their own end with no care for who got caught in the crossfires. 

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A human life was no longer sacred. Millions would die and we wouldn’t bat an eyelash. Heaven forbid ,some food be stolen by a hungry orphan, watch the backlash as all the people scrambled to uphold the so-called laws and the integrity of the judicial system. “No ‘criminal’ will escape the law.” I wonder where that law went when millions died fighting for a cause they knew nothing of. I wonder where that law went when women were raped and the rapists escaped Scot free,sometimes even provided justifications for their actions. I wonder where that law went then. Is this the world many died trying to build? Is this world people died fighting for? If so , there sacrifice was really for nothing. 

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And now, now I hope. I hope that this isn’t the reality our forefathers dreamed of. I hope that things have just hit an all time low and the we’ll bounce back from it stronger. Because it’s the only thing saving me from insanity , the only thing that gets me out of my bed in the morning. The reason I want to raise awareness, the reason I want to fight, the reason I want to change the world,the reason I want to dedicate my life to not only my own benefit but to that of my people.

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 I’m not crazy for dreaming of a better world for my off spring. I’m not mad for thinking ,with the right moves, this world can be as beautiful as my childhood fairy tales.

                                         

Photo Courtesy: www.ayeina.com

By: Husna Mohammed Lali

Dear Husband

Please notice that I refrained from using the term future because let’s face it, you were my husband ever since our fate was sealed by The Sealer of all Fates. Cool? Okay.

So lately there has been a brawl about future husbands and wives and space and marriage life; I tell you the cycle is vicious. I thought about it and decided, let me give him a heads up on the load of weird and a spicy amount of old-fashion he is about to spend his entire life with.

First things first, or last. Who cares? Spontaneous and flexibility is paramount…as one of my friends keeps it. I am not sure if this is true but my mother always has us like “the way to a man’s heart is his stomach.” Either Biology went wrong here or mother nature is a freak. Again, who cares? I am not as good a cook as your mother or mine is simply because my mother’s recipes do not have exact measurements of the ingredients. She puts everything together and it comes out a nice aromatic pile of edible stuff. Don’t get me wrong. I have done a fair amount of cooking (my ungrateful brothers once said my cabbage stew tasted like weeds). I usually like to think that they were being realest…you know criticising me on my face and praising me behind my back. Either way what I cook has never caused them any food poisoning. So yeeeey!! You know the statement “Cooking isn’t obligatory for the wife. It’s a favor”. I just want to let you know that I am so honored to do you that favor and I promise that in between our careers and job schedules we’ll have at least 2 home-made-by-me meals. I might need help sometimes, please make it easier for me and be considerate when need be.

Guys’ Time?? You have it. I have learnt from my brothers that watching football by yourself doesn’t give you the thrill. Yeah, go watch it with your buddies but I will totally need a payback (before or after…just to make me feel ‘not less important. Heads up…that large container of ice-cream or a weekend get away or even a little help with something in the house would soften me up 😉 ). Since we’re on this subject, please do not feel bad or abandoned when I say I am going to spend time with luby or the girls or even mum. I think that is a fair tat for the tit. In short do not make me feel guilty or have to choose between them and what you love to do with your buddies.

Emotions Sheet?? They say marriage is not a bed of roses. We’re probably going to have rough days and nights. Argue about stuff that may seem silly to either one of us. One or two things I would like from you.
1) we will not do it in front of the kids.
2) we will not take for granted the other’s side/perspective and or thoughts.
3) we will be clear and precise on what is needed to be discussed
4) we will not go to bed angry at the other. (Just in case it’s a huge mess up..dude, I am so taking the bed)
I am going to be honest with you here. I usually have my temper and emotions in check. Learnt it from my old man and brothers. I will be the water when you’re the fire but please do not make me so angry that I end up comparing you to them or wishing I still lived with them.

I am very choosy when it comes to talking about my feelings; especially when I am having a meltdown. I have been known to be bricky. I go silent or rather low-key for a while, it is not your fault, that is usually how I recharge my system. My best friend usually has a hard time getting me to talk about such stuff. My mother, my big brother and her, are among or rather the fewest who know what my mind thinks of or wanders to. Just in case I will lose any of them in the process, please be there to fill in their shoes, or most importantly, take over their place when I am living with you. I have, on several occasions been told that I am good listener and a mood lightner. So if you’re having a stressful day with your workmates, I promise I will be there to talk about it. Or if it’s stuff from work that had to be finished at home, I will help you with that, even if it just means sitting quietly across the table or floor as you work. All in all I wanna be that person whom you can’t wait to tell what happened when we were not together.

Family?? This is one thing I am most afraid of. You know how girls feel threatened by mothers and sisters in law? I have a history of really not caring what people say about me. My mother for example has tried to change me to wearing and acting like a girly girl because I am not like the others or that is not what is expected of me. I like to do things my way. My comfortable way. I am not going to disregard whatever they are going to advise me. But please let it be just that. Advice. Which I am entirely free to choose to follow or not. I am going to defend your honor in front of my family, please do so in yours. I know it might seem like I am asking you to pick my side, but it is not. I am simply asking you to put yourself in my shoes when it comes to such situations and act wisely. I will accept faults when due. I will not accept you siding with your mother or sisters just because “they know you better”. While I am not known to be violent, I am known to be cold and calculating when it comes to proving a point. P.S Your mother and sisters can come over anytime they want. They just shouldn’t interfere with how am raising you and the kids.

Social life?? I do not like people. That is one thing you should know. But when forced to interact, I charm people at it. I am not a fan of huge crowds, so on most occasions where I have the liberty to choose between going to events and staying at home. Home is the definite answer. I like staying at home and having an alone time, but I promise if it’s a work event, or your friend’s or work mate’s wedding, I will definitely be your plus one. I like to think myself as adventurous. Please have a hint of that. I am talking road trips (even if it means going to your mother’s place.), long lazy walks, sight seeing, trying out new risky stuff like bungee jumping (I will never do this…but I suppose I should trust you enough with my life to do this with you because am not even kidding you when I tell you I would NOT do it with my brothers. This is because I learnt my lesson when I let one of them put me in his bicycle’s ‘basket’ and we ended up rolling down some hilly/unleveled grounds.) Though me and Lubnah have stuff in our bucket list, if it’s not accomplished then or she gets a very strict husband who wouldn’t let her or do it with her, please make this bucket full by supporting me/us (you get the point here.)

And now to the most delicate most unappreciated and most sensitive subject. Co-wifing??
This is settled, though my sisters and married friends say it’s hard and that they cannot handle it. I would like to say otherwise. I don’t see it big of a deal that I have a lady whom I share a husband with. Let’s be realistic here and try not to use hearts to think. See, the ratio of men to women is a little unbalanced and kind of favors us more.Fortunately or unfortunately. So I think I would rather you married her so she gets a better life than either letting her suffer or you commit zinaa. I know it’s going to sound ridiculous to the girls, but yeah..that’s just it. Buuuuuut….just because I said this doesn’t mean you do it out of sheer spite or the fun of it. Do it if you feel you must and when you know you can be just with both of us. I mean I will obviously be jealous of her or you and her but I promise I will not be malicious. If I am going to be a co-wife I wanna be the kind where she is comfortable enough to leave her kids with me and know that they’re in good hands. Before we wrap it up, just in case it wasn’t clear, I wanna be the first wife, not for superiority reasons, but just in case she’s not as cool with it as I am. I do not want to be hated for ‘stealing someone’s spot in their husband’s life’.

I think we’re great for now. Just in case you need clarification or I was vague about it. I am not going to be a housewife. I did not just spend at least 22 years of my life getting up and going to school and trying my best just so you let me waste away. That is not fair. To me, my parents and siblings, who’ve always had my back when they weren’t holding my hand. I don’t wanna be that brick in your wall of life. I wanna be the cement that’s holding it together as you build our empire. Do not make me choose you over this. Because trust me, I will not hesitate choosing the latter and I will have nothing to lose in thee process.

On a completely different yet relatable subject. I love reading can we please have a space where I can consider it my personal library?? Also if J.K. Rowling or John Green releases new books. Please get me a copy? Yeah thank you. And I love you for this

Thank you in advance. Feel free to be awed, intrigued, threatened or all at once. See you in a while.

With love,
Your wife who has her priorities and visions set straight.

By: Swaleh Arif Sayyid Ali

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful.
Praise and blessings be upon His Beloved messenger, Muhammad (pbuh).

Recently an article was posted, entitled ‘Dear Future Wife’. It tried to describe what men want from women during marriage. Consequently, the article received some backlash, understandably so. However, the criticism, to me, was too scathing and the approach made was not the best one. Admittedly, I did place myself in the position of current and future wives, thereby understanding their anger towards the aforementioned article. As a result, I have decided to write my own version of ‘Dear Future Wife’. Feedback is welcome, positive or otherwise. Bear in mind though, ninety per cent of what you’ll read didn’t come from me, I’m simply re-telling what’s been forgotten…

Dear future wife,

Before I begin, I’d like to give you salaam and may Allah’s Grace and Mercy be upon you always and forever.
As a man living in the 21st century, I have seen how marriage has been degraded to something that is almost worthless (thanks to our own forgetfulness and the emergence of western idealism). However, I’m not writing to you about the failings of society, I’m writing to you about what to expect from me as your future husband.
Marriage is holy and sacred. To seek guidance on something of this nature, one needs to look no further than the Holy Qur’an and the Sunnah of the prophet Muhammad (pbuh). One of my greatest wishes is to be the best husband a wife could ever ask for. The only way I can be that person, my beloved, is by treating you the same way the prophet (pbuh) treated his wives. I know I’ll never reach his level, but rest assured that I’ll do everything within my power to be the kind of husband that Allah and His Messenger (pbuh) will approve of.

I don’t expect you to cook for me. That’s my privilege and not your responsibility. Cook because you want to, not because you have to. I want to know that my dish was prepared with love and your only aim is to please The Almighty (by pleasing me). No matter how bad your food will be, I won’t frown, or abuse you, or even beat you (Allah protect me from such). Rather, expect me to smile and say it was the best dish I’d ever tasted. I’ll eat from the same plate as you, drink from the same cup as you and feed you from my hand. That is an act of charity before the eyes of our Creator.

You’re my other half. I won’t shut you out from my daily affairs, because I will want to seek advice and guidance from you about important issues. You may know something I don’t, there’s no shame in that. I’m willing to quit watching football just so I can spend more time with you. It sounds far-fetched, I know. But you’re my wife and you’ll always come first.

When you’re sad, I’ll be the first person to rush towards you and hug you. I’ll wipe the tears from your face and call you by all those sweet names that you’ll adore so much. I’ll exercise tolerance with love and patience,observe silence when you snap at me during your mood swings, and overlook your flaws while focusing on your desireable traits.

My beloved, there’s so much I want to say, but I’ll stop here. What I have left out, I’ll make sure to add on it through actions once we’re married inshaAllah. Words are worthless if they’re not backed by actions. I know what I’ve promised sounds unfeasible, but if Muhammad (pbuh) could do it, then there’s no reason why I can’t as well bi idhinillah. All I ask, is for you to do good and abstain from evil, in order for our marriage to prosper. For now, know that I have carved out a niche in my heart, waiting for you to fill it.

And Allah knows best.

Photo Courtesy: Unknown

Dear Future Son,

It’s a breezy yet sunny afternoon. I’m just staring out of the window at the beautiful scenario right in front of me. Lol just kidding. There’s a large pond of water; that’s what am seeing. Not as beautiful as such 😀 It’s been raining. And just with the droplets falling to the ground, they keep me thinking. I’m one year older today. Alhamdulilah. And as I think of how much blessed I am, I think of you. I think of you as the best gift that I could ever get on a day like this. I think of how much I am missing you even before laying my sight on you. I think of how you are the one thing that makes me await the future. I think. I think quite alot. Will I live that long? Will I live to have you; the love of my life in my arms? Will I? Will I will I will I?? And all the while as all these thoughts cloud my mind, am still staring into the space. Having lived to 21, I’ve learnt quite something about life. I have learnt that true love will always be filial love. That same kind that I want to have with you. I want us to have the best kind of mother to son relationship. I want us to be legendary. I want you to be my hero. I want us to be bestfriends. Maybe I am expecting so much from the virtual you and maybe I will live to be disappointed; but all I can promise you is that I will teach you my high perception of pure love, which all starts with family. YES. Family. And you and I will be the best kind of family. Amin to that 🙂

My dear son, they say I am going to be a strict mother. But deeep deep deep down my heart I know, I am really going to be a strict mother 😀 I won’t even bother sugarcoat that. Yes. I will be hard on you. At least it will seem so but that is just because I want you not to act like a boy all your life, nor do I want you to be just a man. I want you to be a gentleman. The kind of man who speaks not too loud nor in whispers. The kind of man who walks not in arrogance nor lazily. The kind of man whose face beams due to his kindness. The kind of man who knows how to respect a lady and never play around with her dignity. That kind of a man that will be a once in a lifetime kind. I want to be proud of you. Take note: I am not asking for perfection but I am asking for quality behaviour and standards. I want a man of principles. A son that is bold yet humble. The kind who is still the best even with all your imperfections. I don’t know who your dad will be, but I pray that you grow better than him. That you perfect both of my and his imperfections. I want you to learn from his and my mistakes. I want you to be our better version.

My greatest wish is to hear your voice reciting the memorised qur’an lull me to sleep. I want you to be the kind of man that when you leave a place, they miss you immediately. I want you to have that kind of pure heart. A heart that knows no hatred nor lust. A heart that leads others to prayer and to do good. A heart that is a leader by heart. A heart that only seeks what God wants.

I daydream alot about you and how it is going to be when you finally come to being. I dream of that kind of son that I will raise with my own hands, with my own very high principles, with my own diplomatic ways. I don’t even know whether you’ll ever get to see this but I’ll still dream. I’ll still dream of that son of mine that was going to give me love like no one else ever did or will. I’ll still dream even when everyone doubts me. I’ll dream for as long as it is valid to dream.

Your prospective mother (in shaa Allah)

With lots of Love.

Dear Future Wife,

By: Anonymous.

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

 

Assalam Aleykum.

Hey you, what are you up to?

Um…hmm, sorry am kinda nervous right now. The truth is, thinking about the future scares the heck out of me. I hate not knowing what will happen to me ten years from now or one year from now or even in the next five seconds. Yet for some reason, picturing you in it always brings a smile to my face. It brings calm to a stormy sea, and for good reason.

I may not know you yet, but I already think you’re just too pretty to be true. The world may be round, yet again it might be flat, but that you are the most beautiful girl I’ll ever meet is a fact beyond deliberation.

I have no expectations whatsoever to be honest about the kind of person you’ll turn out to be.  If anything, I’ll be willing to take the reminder of my life to understand you and if else all fails, then to simply accept you for who you are.

I don’t know what mistakes you have committed in the past or present but I can overlook your flaws. Because despite what people always say, I think everyone deserves a second chance. The more lost a soul is anyway, the more susceptible it is to guidance and rebirth. If I am to be the reason you end up turning a corner and being the most pious lady to ever walk on earth, then darling am all yours.

I am not the perfect human specimen either, I am guilty of being naïve where naivety is of considerable detriment. I have flaws in personality that need to be ironed out, but I believe I’ll be ready cometh the hour.

One thing you should know though, in all my twenty something years I’ve lived on earth, the ladies at home have simply spoiled me to a wreck with their delectable cooking. They can cook a rock and make it taste like chicken. I know, I know it’s unfair to put that much pressure on you, I understand but…*cough* culinary classes *cough*…am willing to pay… *cough*…whatever the fees…*cough*. In any case, I’ll definitely help around the kitchen if you need me, and I’ll do my best not to chop off my fingers instead of the onions while am at it.

Oh another thing, I love exercising. I wonder if you do too. It won’t matter of course, if you don’t. Personally, I believe fitness is a matter of choice really but be warned, we’ll hold occasional races between you and me. Whoever loses will do the dishes all by themselves that day (and there shall be no dish washing machine in the house!)

You’ll be more than welcome to milk my wallet dry. But my wallet only and no other man’s. It will be my privilege to make you feel as comfortable as possible, it is a mission I’ll see through to my death. But I know you, you’re not driven by material things. You’re not overwhelmingly concerned about worldly life. Your focus, like mine, is towards that everlasting place Allah has promised for every pious man and pious woman.

Kids? Of course, yes. I haven’t put my finger on a number yet, but obviously the more the merrier, right? Heck, let’s start our own village. We’ll teach them Quran and Sunnah and then scatter them all over God’s earth so they can spread the spirit and love of Islam. Together with them we’ll flush out all evil from the darkest corners of this world, or so I hope.

Speaking of corners of the world, do you like to travel? I most certainly do. I would love to travel all over the world if God blesses us with the means. I’ll take you to the weirdest of places, feed you the weirdest of native cuisines, meet people with names that mean something offensive back home. I feel the earth is calling for me to explore it every single day, but I can push my schedule back and prepare an itinerary for two instead. See, am making sacrifices for you already.

I can be awkward and feel misplaced in matters where love is concerned. Frankly, sometimes I feel my own family don’t understand just how much I love them, simply because I don’t know how to express it in words. But for some reason, I just know…I just simply know, you will make me sing, you will make me chant, you will make me shout at the top of my voice, to express the love I will feel for you.

I hope wherever you are now, that you are safe and happy. I want you to be all you can be and hope to be. I want you to more than just survive this time barrier separating us, but to thrive. I want you to worry less and live more. And when we finally meet inshaAllah, I want to make you feel like you’ve never lived before.

See you soon, Habibtyl Kheir.

You Know Who..

Photo Courtesy: Salem_Beliegraphy

Dear Future Husband,

Where are you man? These people are suffocating me right here ooof!

Oops! :p Assalam aleykum by the way 🙂

I hope you are doing well like I am right? Imagine I am having a CAT on sound engineering tomorrow in shaa Allah and this is what I am doing. This is what happens when the head gets saturated to its highest level. We call it uchokaji I wonder wherever you are what you call it?

I’m currently at my final year of university and life here couldn’t get crappier. But high school was heaven…but University? Just surviving. You know, this is what happens when your wife is out of everyone’s league and it gets to everyone’s nerves why i am so…oh well don’t you worry I am going to narrate all these tales of your legendary wife when right time comes by :p So what are you doing right now? I hope its something constructive and not in a dark corner with silly friends wasting time.

You can be rest assured on my loyalty to you. I am so damn loyal to you that some people be envying you 😀 I hope you are as loyal…or else…heh! The consequences of that won’t be easy; trust me. Hey by the way, I hope you not into drugs or discos or any of such crap. I don’t tolerate small minds.

Well jokes aside now, I have been waiting like in forever for that one person who would accept me for who I am and understand my stubbornness and paranoia nature. I have been waiting for that one person who would teach me  how to never get afraid, how to trust, how to let go and how to love. I have been waiting for that one person who would sincerely love me and care for and not just treat me with sympathy like everyone does. I have been waiting for that one person who will lead me in prayers, who would recite to me the qur’an until my heart melts(fingers crossed, I hope you have that kind of voice) :p I have been waiting for that one person who would bring me closer to Allah, who would want us to be together till jannah in shaa Allah. And I hope that one person is the you I’ve been waiting for.

I am just a very simple kind of girl with big dreams; not of fame, not of wealth but of a family full of love. I want us to be diplomatic parents; parents who will be so friendly with their kids yet have strict limits to everything. I want us to spend time together as a family. I don’t need a husband who will overwork himself such that the kids end up being strangers to you and vice versa. I want us to teach them morals and how to be upright. I want a husband who will be a dad to my kids and not just a father. I want us to train them how to be better than us; how to not re-live the same mistakes we did when we were young.

I have no big demands nor big wants; I just need a comfortable life, a simple life. I need you to be there after we get married, when I get the news that I’m expectant, when we finally have our first kid with us. I want you with me both during the happy and sad times. Don’t buy me a big house and let me wander in it in circles due to loneliness. Don’t let me live with my in laws always while you are rarely around. I don’t want to marry a big house nor to marry your family. We may as well live in an average house but still see you every morning so I make you coffee and every night so I can make you your favourite food for dinner.

I hope that is when the adventurous you will appear because i’m planning to make my life so hilariously exciting. I may be a frightened freak but i love the thrill of adventures like sky diving, mountain climbing…you know, that sorta thing. And fingers crossed again, do you play football? Or at least basketball? I’d love to be taught how to play that by you. I need not just a husband by name but a partner, a better half, a best friend…the love of my life.

The only way to win my heart is through my parents. My mum is so jovial…very easy to impress but my dad? You gotta earn his trust and love and when you are able to win his heart then you have definitely won mine. My family is the most important thing to me after Allah. Never forget that.

I am a lady with very high principles and very focused at that. If you are intelligent then you will understand me immediately, if not, maybe it will take you some time to do so. (I’m praying you are intelligent) :p I like people who are calm in dealing with problems, people who can control their frustrations and talk it out calmly like adults. I hope we will be able to face our challenges, hand in hand, in that same calm way. I want us to face these challenges and not run away from them. I really don’t like the idea of a man running away from his responsibilities,  from facing and correcting his mistakes. Remember, accepting your mistakes is half way correcting the mistakes.

Well I am not perfect and I am not expecting you to be so either but I am hoping we will be able to complete each other because that is what love and marriage is. Maybe I am dreaming too much but here, they call me dreamer…but I hope you can prove them wrong and turn this into a reality.

I promise you that I have never been so attached to any unknown person like you and even as you remain like a shadow, I still pray for you wherever you are. I still pray that you remain loyal to the unknown me like I am loyal to the unknown you. We still have a lot to talk about. Catch you later. ..till then, may you stay safe till the day your shadow comes to light and I finally know who you are. May God bless you abundantly.

Amin!

Lots of love,

Your other half 😉